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13 Reasons Why (2017)
Complete garbage. Do not let your kids watch.
The fact that this boring, clichéd, suicide-glorifying piece of sh*t has an 8.7/10 speaks wonders on the taste of TV watchers.
I will admit that some of the decisions are creative (like the 14th tape) and it's decently shot (though nothing visually interesting) but the entire show comes across as your typical generic high school drama. The writing is unbearably mopey and melodramatic. It feels like an emo's wet dream. I think Clay is a well written character and acts like a true teen but everyone else is a poor depiction of high school. They all either drink, have sex, or act incredibly malicious.
And then we come to Hannah f*cking Baker. Good god this b!tch. She is a HIGHLY privleged girl (she has many friends and two loving parents) yet she kills herself because she (rather stupidly) decided to have sex with a douchebag.
If you have kids do not let them watch this. It will give them a very bad outlook on both life, social skills, and high school in general.
Mighty Magiswords (2015)
And here we have the death of Cartoon Network
Wow. Just WOW. Really, Cartoon Network? This is the best you could come up with? You know how Teen Titans Go's ultra fast pacing was annoying? Turn that up five or six notches, and you have Mighty Magiswords.
Who's idea was this? The concept gets old and limited within three episodes. Different swords? They don't appear to be doing anything eventful with it except random clichés.
The two characters are one-note and obnoxious. Like Fanboy and Chum Chum obnoxious. And my GOD are they dumb.
The "humor" (emphasis on quotations) is a forced pun or one-liner ever second. Literally every second.
Boy CN, once Regular Show, Gumball, and Adventure Time end, you're royally screwed. Nickelodeon has a new juggernaut in The Loud House and you have this pile of garbage.
Norm of the North (2016)
One of the greatest animes I've ever seen!
Oh my gosh. I thought after Cory In the House, anime could not reach that height again, especially after garbage like Attack on Titan and Ponyo.
With shows like Johnny Test, we've merely scratched the surface of potential for a new otaku golden age. My Little Pony further progresses it into something highly enjoyable, but it doesn't quite reach that explosion of entertainment that the mid-2000s golden age did (Shrek, Cory In The House, Bee Movie).
And then came Norm of the North.
Screw Attack baby-ass Naruto. Sianara Wind Rises. THIS is the new standard for ALL future anime!
I have never seen a single anime before with THIS amount of effort, passion, brains, and most importantly, HEART put in. The story is so complex and engaging. A bear discriminated against and outcasted from society discovers that his village is becoming invaded and enslaved by an ancient legend proved true: The army of human supremacists who spread their propaganda among their people to devour a race weaker then them. Norm the Bear must voyage to the world of the enemy and convince their people to unite in harmony with the bears in order to save his village from tyranny, fascism, and genocide.
Every character is incredibly deep and impressively characterized. The animation is unique where it makes the world feel lifelike yet fanatical enough to submerge you from reality.
Dare I say it Norm of the North is better than CORY IN THE HOUSE!!!!
11/10. It achieves the impossible.
Cool Cat Saves the Kids (2015)
What the hell?!
I know people are being sarcastic, but just WHY? Everything about this crap makes me want to personally euthanize that pedophile cat. Savage, if you're going to make a film, actually f*cking try to make something worthy to watch. Cool Cat feels like a cheap ripoff of The Room, except with a cat. It's not funny or weird enough to be "so bad it's good." It's just so damn soulless. I don't care what YMS says, don't waste your time with Crap Cat. This cat is cancer. He caused both world wars. Dank Dog is better. He saves everybody. He isn't a pedophile. He cures cancer. He stops wars. He makes Crap Cat his b*tch. He brings world peace. He is everything. Nothing is above h
The Good Dinosaur (2015)
One of the most mediocre Pixar films in a while.
How do you go from making a masterpiece like Inside Out to such a bland, "safe", and predictable film as The Good Dinosaur?
Now, here me out Pixar fanboys. I don't think the film is terrible. The backgrounds are some of the best I've ever seen. It really submerges you into its world. Some of the designs of the animals are realistic and cool looking. The score is phenomenal, even rivaling Inside Out's.
But the praise stops there. The main problem I have with the film is that it's SO DANG LAZY!!!! It is literally Big Hero 6 crossed with Finding Nemo. You can predict the plot within the first few minutes of the movie. It's the same "boy and his dog try to find their at home" story we've seen millions, no, billions of times. C'mon, Pixar (and movie industry in general)! Can't we just move on from this freaking story?
The characters are no more than two dimensional and very forgettable. They don't portray any emotion. Oh the irony, Pixar.
The humor is either non-existent or to kiddy like. There isn't anything really to engage anyone older than let's say, 9 years old.
The designs of the dinosaurs are atrocious. I tired of the gummy, overly cartoony look. Give them some feathers already! Even the 2000 movie DINOSAUR did the designs better!
To sum up, it's for the most part a visual treat, but not story-wise. This is strictly a kids film or a 3D nut's film.
Premise: 3/10 Writing: 4/10 Characters: 5/10 Visuals: 7/10
Final Score: 4.5/10
(I decided to be nice and round it up to a 5 for the IMDb score).
Game of Thrones (2011)
How the HELL does this have a 9.5 on IMDb?
I'm just going to say it: Game of Thrones is a grossly, grossly, GROSSLY overrated series. People act like this is one of the greatest series ever made. I say that's bullshit! Game of Thrones is so f*cking boring. The plot lines are everything we've seen in this type of story before. Every episode feels formulaic. It drags along often. The acting is subpar. Sometimes the actors seem more interested in the money they are about to get than the roll they are portraying. Other times they are WAY overacting to where it just gets annoying. The set design, while nice looking, is still generic as all hell. It is the same forest and "mythological environments that we've seen in Lord of the Rings or Princess Bride. I cannot believe this lasted more than a season and has a rating of a NINE POINT F*CKING FIVE on IMDb! It's not the worst show ever but it should not be grouped with shows like Breaking Bad. Oh, and did I mention that the fanbase is almost as bad as the bronies?
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999)
Starts out great, does a complete 180 after the movie!
The first three seasons of SpongeBob and the movie were hilarious, sometimes heartfelt, and overall very memorable. I also love how grown-up its humor could be.
And then came the revival of SpongeBob. The show became unwatchable. Every character is either an idiot or a complete asshole towards Squidward. The humor is dumbed down. The visuals make me cringe. The plots are atrocious. The second movie was a major cash-grab. SpongeBob just needs to DIE!!!!
S1: 8/10 S2: 9/10 S3: 8/10 SBSM: 7/10 S4: 5/10 S5: 3/10 S6: 1/10 S7: 1/10 S8: 1/10 S9: 4/10 SOOW: 4/10
An unneeded film that barely works a quarter of the time.
Minions is basically Cars 2 or Planes from a logic standpoint. The only reason it's made is to sell minions merchandise to billions of screaming toddlers. The Minions were funny comedic reliefs but they were far from what made Despicable Me and its sequel enjoyable. IMO, it was Gru and his unique relationship with everyone.
From a film standpoint, it's only slightly more enjoyable than Cars 2/Planes. Unlike the other two, this one has it's funny gags going for it. I'll admit, the Minions are funny. Not hilarious, but funny. However, the positives stop there. The film is so, so predictable, it's funny. It is literally every origin story you've heard before. It is literally Monsters University except with Minions. Also, it uses every kids movie trope you can think of. "Hip" and "Cool" talk? Check. Pop culture references? Check. Bathroom jokes? Check. Annoying voices from anyone who's not yellow? Check. It's the same pandering clichés we've seen from every Dreamworks film in the mid-2000s. In terms of the characters, besides the Minions, a few cracked maybe a slight laugh out of me, but the rest are either stupid or annoying. Again, typical trope of mid-2000s Dreamworks films.
How about the animation? Of course I like the Minions' character designs, and some of the backgrounds and textures look nice- in the first quarter of the film-, but MY GOD are the character designs awkward to look at! All of their humans have thin heads and fat bodies or the other way around. Oh, and don't forget the ultra tiny eyes! This was one of my biggest (and only) gripes about the Despicable Me films, as well as in that garbage known as "The Lorax", and it's no different here!
So to sum up, Minions has no purpose other than merchandise. I wanted to be surprised by the film. Even coming from someone who loved the Despicable Me films, Minions is a completely predictable, clichéd, and pandering movie that sort of works as a prequel to its predecessors but does not work as a film by itself. Yes, it made me laugh sometimes, but being funny can't be the only trait of the movie. Everywhere else it fails.
Adults are going to roll their eyes at this movie, even ones (like I said before) that liked DM and/or DM2. This film is mainly a time waster for children, and those who live the minions at that. Just wait for it to come out on iTunes.
Premise: 2/10 Writing: 4/10 Animation: 6/10 Characters: 4/10 Tolerance: 6/10
Overall Score: 4/10
Inside Out (2015)
A new Pixar Masterpiece
This is an amazing film. It sets the bar on how an animated film should be made. What makes this so great is that it's very mature. It's emotionally complex, in a way that will have kids and adults going back to this film and wondering about what it's going for. Unlike some kids films these days, it never talks down to its audience. The characters are all very deep and interesting, and of course, the animation is fantastic. But I find it innovative how they used the bright colors inside Riley's mind but used darker and more dreary colors in the real world.
Parents, in terms of how appropriate it is for your kid, keep in mind that this is emotional throughout and has very powerful scenes that will seem abnormal to your kid. Also, there is a lot of adult humor, including legit swear words that are bleeped out.
Please. Go see this film.
Jurassic World (2015)
Not the film to complement the original, but still better than the sequels.
I think this film is okay. It's not anything outstanding but not a downer either. First let's start with what I like: The acting is great. It's a high breath of life after the atrocities that were in Lost World and JPIII. Chris Pratt doesn't overact to anything like you'd might expect in a Jurassic Park sequel. Also, there is more of a story than its predecessors, and the effects actually look as if they put effort into it. However, there is one major problem I have with the movie: It tries way too hard to be a monster movie, and not a science fiction film. It's going the 1998 Godzilla route and just trying to make everything go with the 3D. So to sum up, it's not bad, but it doesn't measure up to 1993's Jurassic Park.