Amateur night in the land of back bacon and maple syrup
Canadian content is the excuse for this amateurish video, one of a spate of Canuck porn effusions in recent years. I suspect I am the leading audience (of one) for this crap.
That's because I've always loved Canadian films dating back over four decades when my local cinemas in Cleveland, Ohio would play such beloved imports as Going' Down the Road, The Reincarnate, and Winter Comes Early. Trudy Young and Art Hindle were among my favorite young thespians, and I'm not joking but merely reflecting truthiness with a capital T.
But now we get some pretty worthless stuff, as in this misleadingly titled opus. I thought there might be an element of fantasy or even cheaply staged "Jack and the Beanstalk" action, but no. This is wall to wall sex, in a meager portion of just three vignettes, featuring two uninvigorating unknowns plus Canada's gift to Silicone Valley, the wonderful Amy Anderssen/Amy Azurra.
One oddity of the DVD, noticed perhaps only by me who cares about structure above all else, is that like some other Canadian releases, there are dual tracks, English or French, available for listening. I tried both and was surprised to find something you don't see on other videos with this format (say, Marc Dorcel French releases for example): the two tracks are paired to two different edits of the film.
The French is the original version, running 84 minutes, with some off-the-cuff and interview patter spoken in Quebecois by the always-on-screen "Jack" and a couple of the gals. Visuals with this talking going on are edited out of the English-track version which runs only 80 minutes as a result. The "English" version has no English spoken -all that remains is Jack's "Allo" to greet Amy, who doesn't speak French and doesn't require any editing.
That quirk is perhaps the only point of interest here, worth noting before the entire run of DVDs ends up in the nearest landfill. Amy's secret weapon is not her volleyball-sized tits with their extremely mismatched in size nipples, but rather her eyes -she is riveting staring at the viewer during her sex scenes and has already gone down in my porn history as way more than a footnote (which is where I pegged her during her first career a decade ago as blonde Amy Azurra). Completists will have to hunt for this title, but all others are advised to watch some William Shatner, Donald Sutherland, or even Kiefer Sutherland movie instead to get their dose of Canadian chutzpah.
My recommendations on that trio: Shatner at his best in "The Intruder" by Roger Corman, Don in "Castle of the Living Dead" (at the beginning of his career) and Kiefer in "The Bay Boy" (his first big role).
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