Pepe the King Prawn
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Quotes for
Pepe the King Prawn (Character)
from "Muppets Tonight" (1996)

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The Muppets' Wizard of Oz (2005) (TV)
Pepe the Prawn: I'm so darn sexy it hurts!

Toto: The witch is no longer in the house, okay? She is down the drain- we melted her!
Flying Monkeys: HOORAY!
Dorothy: I thought you were supposed to be her vile henchmen.
Angel Marie: Vile? No... We were just a gentle band of motorcycle enthusiasts. Until the witch put us under an evel spell with her enchanted biker cap!
Flying Monkeys: [entranced] Enchanted biker cap...
Sal Manilla: Since you wasted her, this hat rightfully belongs to you, Dorothy! Now we must obey any command you give us!
Angel Marie: Yeah! Like, you can have everybody spank me and call me names!
Angel Marie: Or not.

Pepe the Prawn: Those of you who have Dark Side of the Moon, press play now.

The Great Gonzo: Oh, where's my cell phone?
[then putting on his funny nose]
Pepe the Prawn: Wait a second. That's your cell phone?
The Great Gonzo: Yeah.
Pepe the Prawn: Interesting. What do these do?
[pushing the small buttons on the Great Gonzo's chest]
The Great Gonzo: Nothing. They're my nipples.
Pepe the Prawn: [Pepe runs out of the T.I.N. shack screaming, looks at his hands] I feel dirty.

Dorothy: You're all big! And you're talking...
Toto: Si... but more importantly, I'm naked, okay!

Dorothy: [referring to the Tin Thing] You think he's stuck?
Scarecrow: Do you think he needs our help?
Toto: You think he can check my e-mails?

Toto: What in the name of all that is holy are you, okay?
Tin Thing: Oh, I'm a T.I.N. thing, a fully robotic information gathering device for the Wicked Witch of the West. And I can answer any question in the universe. Anything.
Toto: I got one. Why are the women so confusing, okay?
Tin Thing: Let me process that.
[holds his breath as an antenna sprouts from the top of his tin head]
Tin Thing: [releases deep breath] It only seems that way because men are so simple.

Dorothy: We're on our way to see the Wizard of Oz, and he's gonna make me a famous singer.
Scarecrow: Yeah, and he's gonna give me a brain.
Toto: Si, and he'll probably going to give me lots of moneys, okay.

Toto: [entering 'Poppyfields'] Come on, Dorothy, let's get inside before this place is no longer cool.

Toto: Dorothy, before I die, just once I want to hear a woman say she love me, okay?
Dorothy: Oh Toto, that's so sweet. Of course I love you.
Toto: Eh, look, Dorothy, I'm flattered, okay, but I can't commit myself to just one womens, okay.

Toto: Si, si, what freaky land we got to visit now, okay? Tomorrowland, Adventureland, Canada...

Muppets from Space (1999)
Pepe: You tell him, and I will smack you. I will smack you like a bad, bad donkey, okay!

Rizzo: What? I cannot believe that little shrimp left us behind!
Pepe: I am not a shrimp. I am a king prawn!

Pepe: Hey, Kermit. When will you fix the oven, okay?
Kermit: What's wrong with the oven?
[oven explodes]
Pepe: That.

Pepe: There is a menu correction, okay. We will now be serving baloney sandwiches.
[Swedish cook shouts something]
Pepe: But, no bread.

Kermit: Okay, guys. It's up to us. We have to save Gonzo from a whole army of government agents.
Fozzie: Well, I have a joke book.
Animal: Drumsticks, drumsticks!
Pepe: I have some loose jello, okay.
Kermit: Okay. Well that settles that.

Pepe: Oh, boy, he fell on you like a ton of bricks, okay.

[Pepe reappears in ballet costume]
Pepe: La la la la lah laah. Lah!
Fozzie: Wow.
Pepe: I should, uh, go change, okay?

Rizzo: Are you telling me we came out here in the middle of the night for a stupid egg?
Pepe: Sh! It could be full of chocolate, okay.

Gonzo: What a great day.
Kermit: Mm-hmm.
Gonzo: That was probably the best day of my whole life. There's just one thing I still don't understand.
Kermit: What's that, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Why did they ask me to build a jacuzzi?
Rizzo, Pepe: [snickering]

Pepe: De prawn cracker wins!

"The Muppets.: Going, Going, Gonzo (#1.9)" (2015)
Rizzo the Rat: [Scooter bails on poker night] Oh, we need another schnook to fleece.
Pepe the King Prawn: What's a schnooktofleece?
Rizzo the Rat: A patsy to swindle.
Pepe the King Prawn: Patsytoswindle?
Rizzo the Rat: Guy to rob.
Pepe the King Prawn: Guytorob? Does anyone speak English around here?

The Great Gonzo: I still think about the stunt that got away. I was gonna shoot out of a canon across Cactus Gorge.
Pepe the King Prawn: Si, si, but just as he's about to light the fuse, he lost his nerves.
The Great Gonzo: God, I'd like to have a shot at doing that stunt again.
Kermit the Frog: Gee, Gonzo, I didn't realize you still wanted to do a jump like that. Listen, if it means that much to you, I'll make it happen on the show.
The Great Gonzo: Oh, Piggy's so mad at me. She'd never let me do it. You have any idea what it's like to be on her list?
Kermit the Frog: Are you serious, Gonzo? It's me. I know what it's like to be clinging to the hood of her car when she's doing fifty.

Rizzo the Rat: Enough chit-chat. I feel like I'm in a hair salon here. I'm calling. I got a flush.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Flush, huh? Okay, so is that better than three of one thing and two of another?
Rizzo the Rat: [stunned] Ohhh!
Pepe the King Prawn: Unbelievable, okay? How'd you do this?
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: That, my dear prawn, is called acting. You're looking at the guy that played Bruce Willis in the future playing himself in the past, or something like that. I never quite understood the plot.

Rizzo the Rat: Pepe, are you in?
Pepe the King Prawn: Si, I'm in like turtlenecks and gold chains.

"The Muppets.: Generally Inhospitable (#1.15)" (2016)
Pepe the King Prawn: So this branding guy from the network is still lurking around, okay? He does not like when we goof off. Which is why we make sure to double down on the goof.

Pepe the King Prawn: We promised Kermit that we would not let Pancho futz with the show.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
Pepe the King Prawn: Right there, that's futzing.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
Yolanda: Yes, it is.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, we gotta get his phone. Anybody got, like, an oversized magnet? 'Cause I could hold it, I could walk by Pache, and all of his piercings would come flying out. That would get his attention.
Pepe the King Prawn: I'm getting so anxious. I'm sweating in all of my pits.

Yolanda: Pache just bought the office flowers of the month club.
Pepe the King Prawn: Ooh, if we get snapdragons, I call dibs. They look like my face. Look.
[he pantomimes; Yolanda and Big Mean Carl just stare at him blankly]
Pepe the King Prawn: You see it? I'm gonna keep doing this until you see it. Here, watch.
Yolanda: [he pantomimes again] Stop it. Stop it.
Pepe the King Prawn: I'm a snapdragon. Roar.
Yolanda: You're not.

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002) (TV)
Pepe the Prawn: I got good news! I got the fire permit, the health permit, the permit to open a topless nightclub, all the contracts...
The Great Gonzo: Wait a minute. The permit to open a topless nightclub?
Pepe the Prawn: Better safe than sorry, okay?
The Great Gonzo: Good point.

Pepe the Prawn: I've got some good news for everyone, unless you are an evil banker lady, then it sucks, okay.

Statler: [Up in the balcony, Statler and Waldorf make fun of Pepe's bad jokes] Hey, the shrimp's floundering!
[Statler and Waldorf both laugh]
Pepe the Prawn: You shut-up okay?
Statler: He told us to clam up!
Waldorf: What's he want to do? Mussle us?
[Both laugh again]
Pepe the Prawn: Don't get me steamed okay!
Statler: Steamed shrimp!
Waldorf: Oh, pass the cocktail sauce!
[Both laugh]
Pepe the Prawn: That's it. I'm coming up there!
[Leaves the stage to go to the balcony]
Statler: Whoooaaa... I'm shaking!
Waldorf: You're always shaking.
[He laughs and Statler grumbles]

Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
Dominic Badguy: [Holding Madrid newspaper] Check out our review. Five jamon serranos.
Pepe the King Prawn: Wow. Citizen Kane only got four jamon serranos.

Scooter: TWO Kermits?... Well, that explains a lot.
Rowlf the Dog: I knew no one could have a cold for that long.
Pepe the King Prawn: Or have that cheesy an accent, okay.

A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa (2008) (TV)
Mobster: Hey, it's that looney shrimp that called us earlier.
Pepe the Prawn: They call me the Prawn.
Mobster: Hey! Are you correcting my friend over here? Because if you are, I'm gonna dip you in cocktail sauce and bite your tasty little head off!
Pepe the Prawn: Shrimp is fine.

Pepe the Prawn: We'd love to help you take those letters to Santa.
Rizzo the Rat: But our flying unicorns are at the shop.

"The Muppets.: Got Silk? (#1.13)" (2016)
Pepe the King Prawn: No, no, no! I... I sit in this stinky room writing jokes all day long.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
Pepe the King Prawn: I'm not having burgers from an island-themed restaurant for lunch again!
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
The Great Gonzo: Pepe, "island themed" just means there's a pineapple on your burger. You take it off.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, but you can't get rid of the juice.
The Great Gonzo: You're a rat! I've seen you eat garbage!
Rizzo the Rat: Not with a pineapple on it!

The Great Gonzo: We won't let anyone buy our loyalty again.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, Kermit's the best. We'd do anything for the guy.
Pepe the King Prawn: Si, especially now since he bought us these suits.

"The Muppets.: Too Hot to Handler (#1.8)" (2015)
Scooter: [outside Chelsea's dressing room] Okay, you guys, I'm gonna go in there and I'm gonna ask her out.
Rizzo the Rat: So why are you standing like that, with your hands on your hips? You look like one of those little girls in a beauty pageant.
Pepe the King Prawn: Si, and not the winner.

Rizzo the Rat: Scooter, Scooter, Scooter, Scooter, Scooter!
Scooter: Yeah? Yeah?
Rizzo the Rat: So, how'd it go with Chelsea, huh? And don't skip the dirty stuff, 'cause I was born in a sewer. You are not gonna shock me.
Scooter: Well, uh, Chelsea was fun, but I don't think I'm gonna see her again.
Rizzo the Rat: What?
Scooter: Mm-mm.
Pepe the King Prawn: Oh. Well, you must trust your heart.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
Pepe the King Prawn: Because your heart is never wrong.
Rizzo the Rat: That's true.
Scooter: Yeah, yeah. She got way too physical way too fast.
Pepe the King Prawn: I stand corrected. Your heart is very, very stupid.

"The Muppets.: Pig's in a Blackout (#1.7)" (2015)
The Great Gonzo: So, Kermit, we got a great sketch for Patrick Dempsey.
Rizzo the Rat: Mm-hmm.
Pepe the King Prawn: Si.
Kermit the Frog: Oh, no, Dempsey's out. We're going with a big block of butter.
Rizzo the Rat: Okay, we'll just tweak it. Piggy's having a dream where she's making out with a big block of butter. Huh. It's actually funnier.
The Great Gonzo: Yeah.
Pepe the King Prawn: And more realistic.

Muppets Party Cruise (2003) (VG)
Kermit the Frog: Look everybody! The pictures from our cruise are ready. I've made a really cool photo album too.
[Kermit opens the photo book and looks at the pictures]
Pepe the King Prawn: Ah. Adventure on the high seas already.
The Great Gonzo: The food the cannons.
Miss Piggy: Oh, the shopping.
Sam the Eagle: May I interject something?
Kermit the Frog: So many good times. Hey look here's when Animal ran right off the boat to catch his puck.
[Then a close up picture shows Animal right before falling in the water]
Animal: Water!
Fozzie Bear: Now that was funny!
Kermit the Frog: Yeah. Those are the things I'd really like to remember.
Miss Piggy: You mean our moonlit walks on the deck Kermit?
[Kermit quickly turns the pages of the album book]
Kermit the Frog: Uh, Yeah sure sure. Those were nice too Piggy. But I was talking about playing those terrific games. You know just look at that tomato huh.
[Then another close up picture shows Gonzo and Animal as the tomato is thrown]
Miss Piggy: Sigh. It seems like only yesterday.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: It was only yesterday. But, we can enjoy the memories immediately thanks to Muppet labs instantaneously photo presses.
Animal: Press! Press!
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Indeed. And coming soon, the Muppet labs pre processor. Imagine being able to getting your photos before you've taken them.
Sam the Eagle: May I interject something?
Kermit the Frog: Remember how excited we were on that first day?
Fozzie Bear: First class, all the way!

"The Muppets.: Pig Out (#1.4)" (2015)
Miss Piggy: Kermit, I need to talk with you.
Kermit the Frog: [assuming about Statler's accident] Well, don't worry, Piggy. I don't think he's gonna sue as long as we find his teeth.
Pepe the King Prawn: Got 'em!
[at Statler's seat, Pepe sits up with Statler's teeth over his face, giving him an exaggerated smile]
Pepe the King Prawn: Look at me. I'm Bradley Coopers.
Kermit the Frog: I guess we found them.

"The Muppets.: A Tail of Two Piggies (#1.12)" (2016)
Pepe the King Prawn: This is Ian Ziering's place?
Rizzo the Rat: Wow!
Pepe the King Prawn: Ooh, it's the house "92010" built and "Sharknado" did not redecorate.