Count von Count
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Quotes for
Count von Count (Character)
from "Sesame Street" (1969)

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Follow That Bird (1985)
Miss Finch: Come on, Big Bird, you don't want to miss your plane.
Maria: Just a minute. Give me a big hug, Big Bird.
[they embrace]
Maria: Don't forget to write.
Big Bird: I won't, Maria.
Count: Don't forget to count, Big Bird!
Big Bird: Okay, Count.
Bob: And don't forget to dress warmly, okay, Big Bird?
Big Bird: I've got my muffler, Bob.
Grover: Don't forget to breathe! In and out!
Big Bird: I always do, Grover.
[Linda signs something to Big Bird]
Big Bird: I'll read every day.
Cookie Monster: Don't forget to eat, Big Bird!
Big Bird: I won't, Cookie Monster.
[Oscar comes slowly out of his trash can]
Big Bird: Well, goodbye, Oscar.
Oscar the Grouch: [surprised] What? Why, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Count: [counting closing credits] One! One Joan Ganz Cooney! Hi, Mom!

Count: [at the end of the closing credits] That is 278 incredible, colossal credits! Ha-ha, I love motion pictures! Wonderful! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[at the gas station after everyone has met up again]
Olivia: Hey, Count, baby, what's happenin'?
[gives the Count a high-five]
Count: Five, jive!

"The Jim Henson Hour: Sesame Street: 20 Years - And Still Counting (#1.13)" (1989)
Count Von Count: That's three, three commercials I have counted. And one, I did not count. That would have been four, four commercials.
Count Von Count: [Thunder and lightning] Weather at 11!

Count Von Count: That's three! Three commercials I have counted! And One I have not counted! The would have been Four! Four commercials I counted! HA-HA-HA
[Thunder and lightning]
Count Von Count: Weather at 11!

"Sesame Street: Episode #20.98" (1989)
[Theme plays as they applause and cheers]
Pat Playjacks: Thank You! Thank You! And hello everybody, I am Pat Playjacks. And I happy to welcome you to
[Audience says along]
Pat Playjacks: SQUEAL! OF! FORTUNE! Yes. And we have a great show lined up for us. First from Transylvania, We have Count Von Count!
Count Von Count: Hello, Pat!
Pat Playjacks: Hello, Count. And what do you do for a living?
Count Von Count: I count.
Pat Playjacks: You count? And do you have any hobbies?
Count Von Count: I count!
Pat Playjacks: Oh yes, And now let meet the contestant from Sesame Street. We have Prairie Dawn.
Prairie Dawn: Hello, Pat.
Pat Playjacks: Hello, Prairie. And what do you do?
Prairie Dawn: Well, I go to school. And I play piano and soccer. And I like to say this, Pat. It is so nice to be on a normal sensible show like yours.
Pat Playjacks: [to the audience] Isn't she sweet?
[to Prairie Dawn]
Pat Playjacks: Well, Thank you, Prairie. And since you are the first contestant, How many pig squeals would it be?
Prairie Dawn: Pig squeals? What do you mean?
Pat Playjacks: What I mean is let's tell our audience this is the
[Audience says along]
Pat Playjacks: SQUEAL! OF! FORTUNE!
Prairie Dawn: What? Is the Squeal of Fortune?
Pat Playjacks: Yes.
Prairie Dawn: There must be a mistake, I have never heard of "Squeal of Fortune"!

Pat Playjacks: Hey, Count Von Count. Are you ready to play our game?
Count Von Count: Oh, Yes! Sure thing, Pat!
Pat Playjacks: Then what is your guess on how many pig squeals?
Count Von Count: I'll make one squeal, or maybe two squeals, or maybe three, or four or five squeals, or maybe six...
Pat Playjacks: COUNT! We can only take one guess at a time!
Count Von Count: One guess? Two guesses? Three?
Pat Playjacks: Three, Uh, Is three your guess?
Count Von Count: Yeah?
Pat Playjacks: Alright, That's your guess! Three pig squeals so give the pig a spin on the turntable
[Count spins the turntable]
The Pig: [Squeals]
Everybody: ONE!
The Pig: [Squeals]
Everybody: TWO!
The Pig: [Squeals]
Everybody: THREE!
[Turntable stops and the ping sounds]
Everybody: [Audience cheers]
Count Von Count: Did I say Three?
Pat Playjacks: YES, You did!
Count Von Count: I SAID THREE!
Pat Playjacks: That's right! Three squeals, Count Von Count! You won!
Count Von Count: WOW! I WON!
Prairie Dawn: WHAT? HE WON? OH NO!
Pat Playjacks: And now it's time to pick a prize in the studio with fabulous prizes. And to show them to us is our co-hostess, Velma Blank.
[the curtain raises and we see Velma Blank showing the prizes to Count Von Count]
Pat Playjacks: A fifteen gallon tank of industrial finger painting, A hand-crafted grapefruit goggle for a protection of that morning squirt, And a larger than life-sized portrait of America's Second Favorite Game Show host: Pat Playjacks.

"The Nostalgia Critic: The Cat in the Hat (#6.12)" (2013)
Count von Count: [appearing with the Critic and Evilina as the Cat in the Hat did a vulgar joke] Eight! That's eight times Dr. Seuss rolled in his grave! Ha ha ha ha!

Count von Count: [the Cat in the Hat did another vulgar joke in the Count's presence] Nine! That's nine times Dr. Seuss rolled in his grave! Ha ha ha ha!

Sing Yourself Silly! (1990) (V)
Count von Count: Five bananas. Six bananas. SEVEN BANANAS!
[thunder strikes]
Count von Count: Ah, ah, ah. Now, that was silly. Wouldn't you agree, my bats? Ah, ah, ah.

Sesame Street Stays Up Late! (1993) (TV)
Count: [about the countdown] I love traditions.

Don't Eat the Pictures: Sesame Street at the Metropolitan Museum of Art (1983) (TV)
[the Museum is about to close, Big Bird has run off]
Olivia: Is everybody here? Let's count noses.
The Count: I will count them. One noses, two noses, three noses...
Olivia: No, no, no, I meant people.

Sesame Street, Special (1988) (TV)
Phil Donahue: I've got to go sort out my sock drawer. See ya.
Count: I love counting socks! Wait for me!
[climbs into Oscar's taxi]
Count: Follow that controversial talk show host!

A Muppet Family Christmas (1987) (TV)
Doc: There's one worried frog.
Count: Ah, that's ONE! One worried frog!
Robin: No, he's not the only one.
Count: That's TWO! Two worried frogs! Ha ha ha ha!