IMDb > Rizzo (Character) > Quotes
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Rizzo (Character)
from The Great Muppet Caper (1981)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Muppet Treasure Island (1996)
Rizzo: What's wrong?
Gonzo: It just feels so weird.
Rizzo: You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead?
Gonzo: Yeah, that... and my pants are filled with starfish.
Rizzo: You and your hobbies.

Rizzo: Terrific. Captured by crazed wild pigs and sacrificed hideously before a pagan altar.
Gonzo: Are we lucky or what?

Rizzo: He's some kind of a blind fiend.
Gonzo: I believe they prefer visually challenged fiend.

Rizzo: He died? And this is supposed to be a kids' movie.

[Billy Bones has apparently died]
Rizzo: He died? And this is supposed to be a kids' movie!
Billy Bones: [Billy Bones suddenly wakes up and, without opening his eyes, grabs Gonzo's nose to pull him closer] Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim! You've always been a decent sort to old Billy Bones.
Gonzo: I'm not Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim.
[Nods at Jim]
Gonzo: *He's* Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim.
Billy Bones: [Billy Bones grabs Jim's shirt and pulls him closer] Jim?
Jim Hawkins: Yes, Captain?
Billy Bones: Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim!
Jim Hawkins: Yes, Captain, what is it?

Jim Hawkins: [sung] I look around here and I want to cry.
Rizzo: Ah, me too.
Jim Hawkins: [sung] I feel like the world is passing me by.
Gonzo: It is.
Jim Hawkins: [sung] And I just can't help but wonder am I doomed to wash and dry? And is it a curse I'm under to do it till I die.
Gonzo: Oh, I hope not.
Jim Hawkins: [sung] When I could be an explorer...
Gonzo: Sure you could.
Jim Hawkins: [sung] ... sailing off to distant lands...
Gonzo: Wait! Not so fast.
Jim Hawkins: [sung] ... 'stead of spending every afternoon just getting dishpan hands. My future looks like nowhere that I want to be.
Jim Hawkins, Rizzo, Gonzo: [sung] There's got to be something better, something better...
Jim Hawkins: [sung] There's got to be something better than this for me.

Captain Abraham Smollett: Where to, Captain Hawkins?
Jim Hawkins: To wherever the wind may take us!
Gonzo: Off to Zanzibar to meet the Zanzibarbarians!
Rizzo: Oh, brother! Here they go again!

Rizzo: I've gone way beyond afraid. Right now I'm somewhere between bedwetting and a near death experience.

[Jim and Gonzo have been listing the different directions of the compass and what lies that way]
Mrs. Bluberidge: To the northwest dirty dishes!
Gonzo: How does she do that?
Jim Hawkins: Might as well start. I'll wash.
Rizzo: I'll dry.
Gonzo: I'll break.

Rizzo: If you're going to be the cook on this ship, Mr. Silver, I am definitely going to need bigger pants.

Jim Hawkins: That's the raging volcano? He's a frog.
Rizzo: Hey, hey, maybe he gets hopping mad.

Jim Hawkins: I hate my life.
Gonzo: I hate your life, too.
Rizzo: If I had a life, I'd hate it.

Jim Hawkins: Kill Captain Smollett, and you'll have to kill me.
Gonzo: Kill Jim, and you'll have to kill me.
Squire Trelawney: Kill Gonzo, and you'll have to kill me.
Rizzo: Kill Squire Trelawney and Mr. Bimbo, and you'll have to... negotiate strenuously.
[Silver turns to try to escape only to run into Benjamina and a gang of pigs]
Benjamina Gunn: Going somewhere, John-John?
Long John Silver: Well, Master Hawkins, it seems your little family has come together against me.

Rizzo: You know, the ocean. The big blue wet thing.

Squire Trelawney: Well, gentlemen, this is definitely a genuine bona-fide treasure map.
Jim Hawkins: Really?
Squire Trelawney: Oh, yes. Mr. Bimbo told me so.
Squire Trelawney: Oh, Mr. Bimbo lives in my finger. He's very smart. He's been to the moon.
[puts finger to his ear]
Squire Trelawney: Oh, thank you... twice.
Rizzo: I smell a bozo.

Rizzo: [greeting rat tourists into the ship] Alright folks, have your checks made out to Rat Cruises Limited. Remember: We put the "rat" in "pirate".

[Trelawney tosses brandy out the window for the third time; screams; two annoyed rats appear at the window]
Rat with Pipe: You wanna knock it off with the booze? It's peeling the paint off of the shuffleboard court.

Rizzo: We're standing in a room where the DEAD GUYS ROAM! Aaaaaah!

Gonzo: [singing] Every storm we ride is its own reward.
Rizzo: [singing] And people die by falling overboard.

Rizzo: [after Jim and Long John leave] Well, it looks like the human beings wanna hang out together. Don't wanna hang out with a rat and a... uh... um...
Gonzo: Whatever.
Rizzo: Yeah!

Gonzo: Rizzo! You lost all the bullets!
Rizzo: Well, you're losing the powder!

Rizzo: I got the bullets! Here they are! They
[he lifts the bang by the bottom, so all the bullets spill out the top and off the shelf]
Rizzo: Whoops!

Mr. Samuel Erroll: By the way, that Silver fellow, may not be trustworthy.
Rizzo: [to Gonzo] Ha ha. Now he tells us.

Rizzo: [Billy Bones has just died] We are standing in a room with a dead guy!

Muppets from Space (1999)
[Ed is examining Gonzo]
Ed Singer: No nostrils. How do you smell?
Rizzo the Rat: Awful. Trust me, I'm his roommate.

Gonzo: Rizzo, come here, my Cap'n Alphabet is sending me a message: R U There.
Rizzo: Are you sure it didn't say "you need help"?

Gonzo: I had that weird dream again.
Rizzo the Rat: You mean the one with the goat and the dwarf and the jar of peanut butter?

Gonzo: Hey, Rizzo, come here! I think my Kap'n Alphabet is sending me a message.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, I know what you mean. I had some guacamole last night, and it's still speaking to me.

Rizzo: What? I cannot believe that little shrimp left us behind!
Pepe: I am not a shrimp. I am a king prawn!

Gonzo: Rizzo?
Rizzo: No, it's Santa, but I forgot my reindeer.

Gonzo: I'm an alien!
Rizzo: What, have you been tap-dancing on the barbecue again?

Gonzo: Rizzo?
Rizzo: Gonzo?
Miss Piggy: Kermy?
Kermit: Piggy?
TV Producer: What is going on here?

TV Producer: Gonzo, you've got it.
Rizzo: Sure wish we could find a cure for it.

Rizzo: I don't like the look of those guys. This rat smells a rat.
Agent Barker: [to Gonzo] The limo is right this way.
Rizzo: Did he say limo? Wait a second, I'm his translator. Hold up!

Agent Barker: We feel your pain, Gonzo.
Gonzo: They feel my pain!
Rizzo: I've got a paper-cut that's a doozy. You feel my pain, too?

Ed Singer: [puts on glove] May I?
Rizzo: I think before you answer that question you'd better be real clear on the final destination of that finger.

Rizzo: How you doin', Ed?
Fast Eddie: Well, I ain't dead.

Dr. Tucker: From this moment on, if I say you're hungry, you eat. If I say you're sleepy...
Rizzo: I eat?

[Gonzo appears on live TV]
Clifford: Hey, you better get down there, Kerm.
Kermit: Relax. No one is going anywhere, okay?
Gonzo: [on TV] You see, I was contacted through my breakfast cereal, and then it was confirmed to me by the Cosmic Fish that I am definitely from outer space.
Rizzo: So you want to go now, or wait for the commercial?
Kermit: Now.

Kermit: What is he doing up there?
Rizzo: His breakfast cereal told him to sit up there.
Clifford: Talk about whole grain and nuts.

Rizzo: Are you telling me we came out here in the middle of the night for a stupid egg?
Pepe: Sh! It could be full of chocolate, okay.

Gonzo: What a great day.
Kermit: Mm-hmm.
Gonzo: That was probably the best day of my whole life. There's just one thing I still don't understand.
Kermit: What's that, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Why did they ask me to build a jacuzzi?
Rizzo, Pepe: [snickering]

Gonzo: [Gonzo wakes up from a bad dream and sits upright, accidentally sending a hammock-sleeping Rizzo flying out the window] I don't wanna be alone!
Rizzo the Rat: You're not alone.
Gonzo: Who said that?
Rizzo the Rat: Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's the rat who's hanging out of the window!

Gonzo: [as Rizzo is hanging out the window] Rizzo?
Rizzo the Rat: No, it's Santa. But I forgot my reindeer.

Gonzo: I had that weird dream again.
Rizzo the Rat: The one with the goat and the dwarf and the jar of peanut butter?

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Gonzo: Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

Rizzo the Rat: Light the lamp, not the rat, light the lamp, not the rat! Put me out, put me out, put me out!
Gonzo: Oh! My apologies! Um...
[Suddenly spotting a barrel of water below the lamp post]
Gonzo: Rizzo!
Rizzo the Rat: What?
["Mr Dickens" pushes Rizzo so he falls into the water barrel]

[Gonzo and Rizzo are flying over London]
Gonzo: [Thrilled] Hello, London!
Rizzo the Rat: [Scared] Goodbye, lunch!

Rizzo the Rat: Mother always taught me: "Never eat singing food."

Rizzo the Rat: There are two things in this life I hate: heights, and jumping from them.
Gonzo: Too late now. Come on, I'll catch you.
Rizzo the Rat: God save my little broken body!
[Jumps and falls to the ground. He looks at Gonzo]
Gonzo: Missed.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh wait a second... I forgot my jellybeans. Um...
[Slides through the bars to retrieve them, and joins Gonzo back on the other side. Gonzo stares at him]
Rizzo the Rat: What?
Gonzo: You can fit through those bars?
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah...
Gonzo: You are such an idiot.

Ebenezer Scrooge: What right have you to be merry? You're poor enough.
Fred: What right have you to be dismal? You're rich enough.
Rizzo the Rat: He's got 'im there. The old boy's speechless!
Ebenezer Scrooge: If I could work my will, every idiot who goes around with "a Merry Christmas" on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!
Rizzo the Rat: Well, not quite speechless.

Rizzo the Rat: Rats don't understand these things.
Gonzo: You were never a lonely child?
Rizzo the Rat: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters.
Gonzo: Boy! Rats don't understand these things!

Rizzo the Rat: Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?
Gonzo: Nah, it's all right. This is culture!

[Scrooge has met the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come]
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, this is too scary. I don't think I wanna see any more!
Gonzo: When you're right, you're right.
[turning to face the audience]
Gonzo: You're on your own, folks. We'll meet you at the finale!
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah!

[Rizzo and "Mr. Dickens" are sitting on the window ledge outside Scrooge's bedroom]
Rizzo the Rat: [looking around] Um, are you sure it's safe for us to be up here?
Gonzo: Scrooge is saved. What can happen now?
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
[Scrooge opens the window, knocking Rizzo and "Mr. Dickens" off the ledge]

Gonzo: He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scr...
[noticing the smudged window of Scrooge's office]
Gonzo: Boy, this really *is* a dirty city!
Rizzo the Rat: Heh, you're tellin' me!
[Gonzo grabs Rizzo and uses him to wipe off the window pane]
Rizzo the Rat: [sarcastically] Thank you for makin' me a part of this!
Gonzo: [dropping Rizzo] He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge: a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching, covetous old sinner.

Gonzo: Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves.
Rizzo the Rat: Yuck!
Gonzo: [whispering] That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.
Rizzo the Rat: Why are you whispering?
Gonzo: It's for dramatic emphasis.

Rizzo the Rat: [falls down a chimney ignoring Gonzo] Hey! I'm stuck! Get me out of here!
Gonzo: I knew you weren't suited for literature.

Gonzo: My name is Charles Dickens.
Rizzo the Rat: And my name is Rizzo the Rat... wait a second! You're not Charles Dickens!
Gonzo: I am too!
Rizzo the Rat: No! A blue furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat?
Gonzo: Absolutely!
Rizzo the Rat: Charles Dickens was a 19th Century novelist! A genius!
Gonzo: Oh, you are too kind!
Rizzo the Rat: Why should I believe you?
Gonzo: Well, because I know the story of A Christmas Carol like the back of my hand!
Rizzo the Rat: Prove it!
Gonzo: All right! Um, there's a little mole on my thumb, and um, a scar on my wrist from when I fell off my bike...
Rizzo the Rat: No, no, no, don't tell us your *hand*, tell us the *story*!

Rizzo the Rat: I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!
Gonzo: You have all the fun!

Rizzo the Rat: How do you know what Scrooge is doin'? We're down here and he's up there!
Gonzo: I told you, storytellers are omniscient; I know everything!
Rizzo the Rat: Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants.
Gonzo: To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps.
[the lamps come on]
Rizzo the Rat: How *does* he do that?

Rizzo the Rat: Oh, Gonzo, speak to me! I mean, Mr. Dickens. Charlie! Are you hurt?
Gonzo: [gets up] To say that Scrooge became startled would be untrue. Still the moment had passed, and the world was as it should be.
Rizzo the Rat: He ain't hurt. Didn't even lose his concentration.

Muppets Treasure Island (1996) (VG)
Rizzo the Rat: Where's the food? No leftovers, leftover.

Billy Bones: And no one knows to this day what happened to the treasure. Or the treasure map. Maybe you'll find them, Eh Hawkins. Hawkins? Ha!
[Billy Bones looks at you and laughs. Rizzo the Rat laughs]
The Great Gonzo: Tell us another adventure Mr. Bones. My favorite is the story about the one legged man.
Billy Bones: Ah, The one legged man? I told you to never to mention that cursed beast! Now get back there and finish brewing my stew. I feel the horrors coming on, begone!
Rizzo the Rat: The horrors. Oh I think I'll be going now. Ho.
[Gonzo and Rizzo head over to the kitchen. Billy Bones stands up and also heads into the kitchen. Then Blind Pew opens the top half of the front door]
:Blind Pew: Eh. Hi Billy Bones it's me Blind Pew! Come to settle the score! Heh heh, heh, Whoa, ow, whoa, ow!
[Blind Pew trips over the trash cans. Billy Bones comes out of the kitchen. Walks upstairs to his room and sees the paper with the black spot on it]
Billy Bones: THE BLACK SPOT! NO!
[Then Stevenson the Parrot appears on the stair rails]

Billy Bones: The black spot! The black spot!
The Great Gonzo: Um real black spot? Can I see it. I've never seen a real black spot before Mr. B.
Rizzo the Rat: Hey Hey! Hold that... Door. Hey watch out!
[Rizzo crashes into the door and falls backwards down the stairs]

Billy Bones: The black spot got me!
[Billy Bones leaves the bedroom]
Rizzo the Rat: Oh this is bad. This is bad, pirates, black spot, danger, and worst of all, the refrigerator's empty! Oh.

Rizzo the Rat: Hmm, I'll look for a key.
The Great Gonzo: I'll look for a sledgehammer.
Stevenson the Parrot: Hey Hawkins. Try this.
[Slides the key right next to the sea chest]

The Great Gonzo: Ah. The smell of adventure.
Rizzo the Rat: Rotting wood, mold, mildew. Yep. that's adventure alright.

Pirates: Open up! We know you're in there!
[Bangs on the bedroom door]
The Great Gonzo: Looks like we've got two choices. A, we jump two stories into the vegetable cart below. Or B, we stay here and face the deadly angry and very well armed pirates.
Rizzo the Rat: And C?
The Great Gonzo: There isn't a C.
Rizzo the Rat: There's always a C! What kind of game is this without a C!
[Gonzo laughs and they both hide]

Rizzo the Rat: Come on Hawkins! That fuse can't burn forever.
The Great Gonzo: Oh I don't know it's lasted pretty long so far.
Rizzo the Rat: I'm heightening the drama!
The Great Gonzo: Aren't you a little short for high drama?
[Gonzo laughs and they both hide]

Rizzo the Rat: Pirates!
[the pirates break down the door and search the room]
The Great Gonzo: Woo. Uh oh.
:Blind Pew: We'd be taking back that treasure map now! What's that? I smell something burning.
[Then the dynamite explodes and blows up part of the Benbow bedroom Inn. Gonzo and Rizzo go flying in the air before falling down]
Cart Driver: Look out! It's raining rats and uh whatevers. Oh I've had enough of this job, I'm outta here.
[Then the cart driver man gets out of the cart and walks off]
The Great Gonzo: Whoa Hawkins! Ahh! Incoming!
Rizzo the Rat: Look out below!
[Rizzo the rat falls in the molasses barrel and splatters molasses all over Jim Hawkins face and he can't see]
The Great Gonzo: Molasses. What a mess.
[the cart moves]
Rizzo the Rat: Whew. That was a close one. Now if there was only some way to pass the time between here and Bristol.
Rizzo the Rat: [singing] 99 pieces of cheese on the wall. 99 pieces of cheese. Take one down. Pass it around. 98 pieces of cheese on the wall. 98 pieces of cheese on the wall, 98 pieces of cheese. Take one down let it turn brown. 97 pieces of cheese on the wall. 97 pieces of cheese on the wall 97 pieces of cheese. Take one down trade it for a pound...

Rizzo the Rat: One piece of cheese on the wall. One piece of cheese. Take it down, look all around. Now we're in Bristol Town.
Stevenson the Parrot: Bristol. Just like I've pictured it. Why don't you clean the molasses off so you can see it.
[Gives Jim a sponge and he washes the molasses off his face]

Stevenson the Parrot: Now we need a ship. Why? Well we have a map to you know, Treasure Island. Squawk!
[the fanfare horns play]
Rizzo the Rat: Woo Hey, hey. It sounds like intermission I'd say we get some food.
The Great Gonzo: I'd say we find a ship. Let's head for the docks come on.
Rizzo the Rat: Ok.
[Rizzo and Gonzo walk off and the cart leaves]

Rizzo the Rat: The black spot is the universal pirates symbol for death and doom.

Muppet Classic Theater (1994) (V)
Rizzo the Rat: Ladies and gentlemen, the elves have left the building!

Rizzo the Rat: Hey, a story about Elvis?

The Great Gonzo: [narrating] And Sandy Pig *was* really the second little pig.
Rizzo the Rat: You call *that* a little pig?
Miss Piggy: [to Rizzo] I heard that, *Buster*!

Rizzo the Rat: [popping his head out of a popcorn box] Hey, hey, hey! Want some popcorn?
The Great Gonzo: [mortified] YEEE-UCK!

"Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color: The Muppets at Walt Disney World (#34.23)" (1990)
Security Guard: Rats!
Rizzo the Rat: You called?
Security Guard: Ah! Don't do that!

Rizzo the Rat: Hey, you know, this ice cream's really good. Now all we need is some root beer.
Security Guard: Will you stop eating and help me capture the Muppets?
Rizzo the Rat: Hey, I can't scheme on an empty stomach, but if you want to capture the Muppets, you gotta watch for the weird an unusual.
[the guard's phone rings]
Security Guard: [on his phone] Fitzwaller here. World Showcase? A Scandinavian Cook? And a guy with a bucket on his head?
Rizzo the Rat: Bullseye!

Security Guard: You're not so dumb for a rat.
Rizzo the Rat: Hey, I guess we're even now. You're not so smart for a person.

"The Muppets.: Going, Going, Gonzo (#1.9)" (2015)
Rizzo the Rat: [Scooter bails on poker night] Oh, we need another schnook to fleece.
Pepe the King Prawn: What's a schnooktofleece?
Rizzo the Rat: A patsy to swindle.
Pepe the King Prawn: Patsytoswindle?
Rizzo the Rat: Guy to rob.
Pepe the King Prawn: Guytorob? Does anyone speak English around here?

Rizzo the Rat: Enough chit-chat. I feel like I'm in a hair salon here. I'm calling. I got a flush.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Flush, huh? Okay, so is that better than three of one thing and two of another?
Rizzo the Rat: [stunned] Ohhh!
Pepe the King Prawn: Unbelievable, okay? How'd you do this?
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: That, my dear prawn, is called acting. You're looking at the guy that played Bruce Willis in the future playing himself in the past, or something like that. I never quite understood the plot.

Rizzo the Rat: Pepe, are you in?
Pepe the King Prawn: Si, I'm in like turtlenecks and gold chains.

"The Muppets.: Got Silk? (#1.13)" (2016)
Pepe the King Prawn: No, no, no! I... I sit in this stinky room writing jokes all day long.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
Pepe the King Prawn: I'm not having burgers from an island-themed restaurant for lunch again!
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
The Great Gonzo: Pepe, "island themed" just means there's a pineapple on your burger. You take it off.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, but you can't get rid of the juice.
The Great Gonzo: You're a rat! I've seen you eat garbage!
Rizzo the Rat: Not with a pineapple on it!

The Great Gonzo: Take the shoes off!
Rizzo the Rat: Gotta get your pants off first!
The Great Gonzo: No, the shoes go first!
Kermit the Frog: Hey guys, don't, uh. ditch the suits yet!
[Suddely stunned by what he's seeing]
Kermit the Frog: And - and please, could you always wear your pants in the office?
Rizzo the Rat: Okay, "Mr. Naked".

The Great Gonzo: We won't let anyone buy our loyalty again.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, Kermit's the best. We'd do anything for the guy.
Pepe the King Prawn: Si, especially now since he bought us these suits.

The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)
Rizzo the Rat: What's this supposed to be?
Pete: Is grits! Grits! Hominy grits!
Rizzo the Rat: How should I know how many? Count 'em yourself.

Rizzo the Rat: [Rizzo walks by with a plate of food] Gangway! Coming through! Hey Watch it, will ya?
Fozzie Bear: Hey, that waiter's a rat!
Floyd: I'm glad we got no money, now I got no appetite.

Rizzo the Rat: Ok, what'll ya have?
Floyd: The number for The Board Of Health!

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002) (TV)
The Great Gonzo: [Gonzo into a walkie talkie] Gonzo to Scooter, Gonzo to Scooter. Bring home the bacon. Over.
Scooter: 10-4. Bacon down. Bacon down.
Rizzo the rat: [pulls on string trying to lift down Miss Piggy] Roger. Bacon down. Bacon down.
Miss Piggy: Will you hurry up? Don't make me miss my cue!
Scooter: The ham is jammed. Repeat the ham is jammed.

Rizzo the rat: Gonzo, I sold my collection of rare cheese to buy you this crystal petri dish for your mold collection.
The Great Gonzo: Oh. Uh, gee, Rizzo. I sold my mold collection to buy you this diamond-tipped cheese slicer.
Rizzo the rat: Did you save the receipt?

"Muppets Tonight: Cindy Crawford (#1.5)" (1996)
Rizzo the Rat: [Rizzo is miked to feed Bobo romantic lines to Cindy Crawford. Then Rizzo's cousins return from the fair] Hey, that's a nice set of balloons you got there. Maybe you'll let me play with 'em, later.
Bobo the Bear: Maybe you'll let me play with them later?
Cindy Crawford: What?
[punches Bobo in the snout]

Rizzo the Rat: [feeding Bobo romantic lines via an earpiece] Cindy, to me, you are like the nuts and berries of the forest.
Bobo the Bear: Cindy, to me, a nut like you should be burried in the forest.

"The Muppets.: Too Hot to Handler (#1.8)" (2015)
Scooter: [outside Chelsea's dressing room] Okay, you guys, I'm gonna go in there and I'm gonna ask her out.
Rizzo the Rat: So why are you standing like that, with your hands on your hips? You look like one of those little girls in a beauty pageant.
Pepe the King Prawn: Si, and not the winner.

Rizzo the Rat: Scooter, Scooter, Scooter, Scooter, Scooter!
Scooter: Yeah? Yeah?
Rizzo the Rat: So, how'd it go with Chelsea, huh? And don't skip the dirty stuff, 'cause I was born in a sewer. You are not gonna shock me.
Scooter: Well, uh, Chelsea was fun, but I don't think I'm gonna see her again.
Rizzo the Rat: What?
Scooter: Mm-mm.
Pepe the King Prawn: Oh. Well, you must trust your heart.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
Pepe the King Prawn: Because your heart is never wrong.
Rizzo the Rat: That's true.
Scooter: Yeah, yeah. She got way too physical way too fast.
Pepe the King Prawn: I stand corrected. Your heart is very, very stupid.

Muppet*vision 3-D (1991)
Sam the Eagle: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is my honor to present to you... Mr. Mickey Mouse!
Rizzo the Rat: [singing to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club March] Oh, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! Hi there, welcome to my park, how'ya doin'...
Sam the Eagle: Wait a minute! You are not Mickey Mouse! You are a rat!
Rizzo the Rat: Rat, schmat! Besides, they're tourists. What do they know?

Scooter: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, if you could just step as far forward and close together as you can.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, real close. You see, we're doing research on deodorant strength.
Scooter: Rizzo, you're disgusting.
Rizzo the Rat: Hey, it's a gift.

The Muppets' Wizard of Oz (2005) (TV)
Kermit the Frog as "Scarecrow": [Angry; referring to the crow pecking at him] That's the last straw!
Crow: No, I see one right here!

Kermit the Frog as "Scarecrow": [to Wizard of Oz] Hello there, Mr. Oz. By any chance are you related to Frank Oz?

"The Muppets.: Generally Inhospitable (#1.15)" (2016)
Pepe the King Prawn: We promised Kermit that we would not let Pancho futz with the show.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
Pepe the King Prawn: Right there, that's futzing.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
Yolanda: Yes, it is.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, we gotta get his phone. Anybody got, like, an oversized magnet? 'Cause I could hold it, I could walk by Pache, and all of his piercings would come flying out. That would get his attention.
Pepe the King Prawn: I'm getting so anxious. I'm sweating in all of my pits.

Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
Walter: Do you guys think that Kermit's been acting a little weird lately?
Miss Piggy: That's ridiculous! He's never been so caring and devoted to me!
Rizzo: Yeah, that's what we are saying!

A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa (2008) (TV)
Pepe the Prawn: We'd love to help you take those letters to Santa.
Rizzo the Rat: But our flying unicorns are at the shop.

"The Muppets.: Pig's in a Blackout (#1.7)" (2015)
The Great Gonzo: So, Kermit, we got a great sketch for Patrick Dempsey.
Rizzo the Rat: Mm-hmm.
Pepe the King Prawn: Si.
Kermit the Frog: Oh, no, Dempsey's out. We're going with a big block of butter.
Rizzo the Rat: Okay, we'll just tweak it. Piggy's having a dream where she's making out with a big block of butter. Huh. It's actually funnier.
The Great Gonzo: Yeah.
Pepe the King Prawn: And more realistic.

The Great Muppet Caper (1981)
Fozzie: Hey, Kermit, I'm getting hungry.
Gonzo: Call room service.
Kermit: There's no phone.
Rizzo the Rat: That's OK, there's no food, either.

"The Muppets.: A Tail of Two Piggies (#1.12)" (2016)
Pepe the King Prawn: This is Ian Ziering's place?
Rizzo the Rat: Wow!
Pepe the King Prawn: Ooh, it's the house "92010" built and "Sharknado" did not redecorate.

"The Muppet Show: Joan Baez (#5.3)" (1980)
[Rizzo wants to be on the "Pigs In Space" sketch]
Link Hogthrob: Listen, rat, you could never be in the crew of "Pigs In Space".
Rizzo the Rat: Why not?
Link Hogthrob: Well, you're... you're too short.
Miss Piggy: [in Link's ear] Why didn't you just say he wasn't a pig?
Link Hogthrob: Well, I didn't wanna hurt his feelings.
Rizzo the Rat: Okay, wait a minute, you guys. I can do anything that a pig can do.
Link Hogthrob: Oh yeah?
Miss Piggy: Oh?
Rizzo the Rat: Sure, I can say "oink, oink," I can wallow in the mud...
Miss Piggy: What?
Rizzo the Rat: ...I can eat garbage.
Miss Piggy: Hold it, hold it!
Rizzo the Rat: What?
Miss Piggy: You just blew it, shorty!
[Piggy kicks Rizzo away]