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[April comes face to face with Michelangelo
: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill! It's just a mask, see? Don't freak out.
[takes off his mask
[the Turtles don their bandanas
: Surveillance are showing heavy, HEAVY Foot Clan activity. Raphael
: They've taken hostages, dude... Leonardo
: You know we're not supposed to go above ground! Raphael
: We've done this before. We started something, and we gotta finish it. Michelangelo
: [looking at a monitor
] This is insane... that cat is playing Chopsticks with chopsticks! Leonardo
: Don't be an idiot!
[changes the monitor's channel, to Mikey's chagrin
: Okay... let's rock and roll, boys!
[after beating the Foot, the Turtles celebrate on a rooftop
: That's what I'm talking about! This is OUR city! These are OUR streets! Michelangelo
: You mess with us, you steppin' to the Wu-TANG! Raphael
: Did you see that guy's jaw connect with the concrete? Donatello
: He'll be drinking out of a sippy cup for months! Raphael
: That's what I'm talking about! Like shadows in the night, completely unseen...
[April takes a picture
: What was that? Donatello
: It's a camera flash...
: [to April in a menacing voice
] Give me the camera. Michelangelo
: Oh look, he's doing his Batman voice...
: I only saw Batman once!
[as the Turtles leave
: [to April
] Do NOT say a word about this to anyone. If you do, we will find you. April O'Neil. Michelangelo
: Yeeeaaah, we'll fiiiind yoooou! O'Neil!... I'm sorry, that came across super-creepy. We will find you, though!
[the Turtles show off their assault van
: Check the bases, bro!
[activates missiles that blow up a car
: My bad... still figuring out the buttons...
[April meets the Turtles for the first time
] April O'Neil
: What are you? Leonardo
: Well, miss, we're ninjas. Raphael
: We're mutants! Donatello
: Technically, we're turtles. Michelangelo
: And we're teenagers. But we can have adult conversations. April O'Neil
: So, you're... Ninja Mutant Turtle Teenagers? Donatello
: When you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous!
: Hey, Mikey, remember that thing you used to say when we were kids? Michelangelo
: You made me promise never to say it again... Raphael
: Forget about that! Still got one in the tank? Michelangelo
: I've been holding it in for years...
[the Turtles charge at the Shredder
[the Turtles take April and Vernon through the sewers
: Please keep your hands and feet inside the shell at all times!
[all the Turtles are in the Hashi
: [doing a handstand on a swivel chair
] Guys, I'm in the zone! There's literally nothing that can break me right now!
[Splinter tosses a pizza at Michelangelo
: Starting to crack...
[the Turtles sneak back home
] Fall in, QUIETLY.
: Shhh! If Master Splinter catches us, he'll send us back to the Hashi. Raphael
: I ain't going back to the Hashi! Leonardo
: [shoves Raph
] Every time we're in the Hashi, it's because of YOU! Raphael
: [shoves Leo
] Well, bro, you don't have to worry about me dragging you down anymore! Michelangelo
: What's that supposed to mean? Raphael
: I'm going out on my own, first chance I get. Michelangelo
: How're we gonna finish our hip hop Christmas album, bro? You're the hype man!
[everyone starts shushing each other
: [to Mikey
] You spit in my eye! Leonardo
: Nobody's going out, we all stick together! Michelangelo
: [to Raph
] Sorry I spat in your eye, bro.
[the Turtles are in an elevator
: [taps a rhythm on his nunchuks
] MC Mikey!
[his brothers follow suit with their weapons
: Guys, did you see? I totally talked to a girl!
: [takes April
] Come with me, I gotta safe place for you to hide. And if you're thirsty I got a secret stash of orange crush behind the fridge. Don't tell Raph.
: [smashes through a Foot SUV and grabs the wheel
] Hey, I'm drivin'!
: I think this is it, guys!
[the Turtles and April start to plummet to the ground
: Does anyone have anything they wanna say? Donnie? Donatello
: I'm the one who eats the icing off the pop tarts in the morning and puts them back in the box! Michelangelo
: I so did not understand the ending of Lost! Leonardo
: Raph? Raphael
: I just... uh, uh... If this our last moment together, I just want you guys to know I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was so hard on you! Ugh. Everytime I pushed you I... I threatened you, I yelled at you, I pushed you beyond your limits, it's because I believe in you! I believe in each one of you! I believe in you spirit and your intelligence and your potential! And every time I talked about walking away it was because I was scared! I just didn't think I was good enough to stand next to you and call you brothers, and say to you, I love you! I love you guys so much! Donatello
: Raph... we made it. You crying? Raphael
: No, ding dong. It's just a little dusty out here.
: [wakes up April
] Ma'am, can you hear me? Do you know what city you're in? Do you know where you are? Michelangelo
: Have you seen that video where the cat is playing Chopsticks with chopsticks?
[the Turtles crowd around a wounded Splinter; Splinter whispers to Michelangelo
: What did he say? Michelangelo
: He said "Please take your knee off my chest."
[Michelangelo stares at April
] Oh, she's hot, I can feel my shell tightening... Raphael
: We can hear you!
: Swing me toward him!
[the Turtles swing April at Shredder and she knocks him off
: That's my girl!
[Splinter catches the Turtles sneaking in
: Where have you been?
[knocks down Leonardo
: We were working out!
[gets knocked down
: I forgot to soak my retainer!
[gets knocked down
: I'm totally sleepwalking! Mikey's sleeping, and walking, he's totally innocent!
[gets knocked down
[Splinter brings out a pizza since his children won't speak
: Of course, you've all tasted the five-cheese pizza. But this... cheesemongers have speculated its existence for centuries. Da Vinci's original masterpiece. I submit to you... Novantanove Formaggio, The 99-cheese pizza! Michelangelo
: It's not possible... Donatello
: Mikey, it's a trap! A pizza with that variety of cheese is a culinary impossibility! Splinter
: [holds out a piece to Michelangelo
] Shall I list the ingredients? Cheddar... Provolone... Leonardo
: Mikey, don't you do it! Splinter
: Asiago... Donatello
: Keep it together! Splinter
: Taleggio... Michelangelo
: I don't even know what that is... Splinter
: Mozzarella, of course... Michelangelo
] Okay, okay, okay... We left the lair because the Foot were taking hostages, and we totally kicked butt, and there was this girl named April O'Neil who took our picture... but we took care of it!
: All these years you told us we were rescued from the fire by a great guardian spirit, a hogosha. Splinter
: That's right.
[points at April
: This is the hogosha.
[all the Turtles bow to April
] Dude, my girlfriend is the hogosha...
[Leo hits him
: [fights the Foot
] Wassup, bro? Oh, you want some of this? I'm a snapping turtle fool! Snap, snap, snap!
: Leo's in trouble! Raphael
: My shell's cracked... just duct tape it up... Donatello
: Allow me to be the badass for once!
[goes to save Leonardo
[all the Turtles get jammed in a tunnel
: [smells a fart
] Mikey, was that you? Michelangelo
: Eh... pepperoni.
: Looking for this?
[holds up April's phone
] April O'Neil
: No no no, don't break that! Please! Leonardo
: [takes the phone out of Raph's hand
] How many times do I have to tell you? We don't break things, we fix them. Donnie already wiped the pic, genius! Problem solved! Moving on! Raphael
: Who made you boss? Leonardo
: You know who did.
[both get in each others' faces
: Oooh, tension. It's been like thirty whole minutes since you had this conversation.
[the Turtles bring April to their lair
: Welcome to my crib, girl! April O'Neil
: Where are we? Michelangelo
: This is our Fortress of Solitude, our Hogwarts, our Xavier's Academy, our secret Wonderland! April O'Neil
] Are we in the sewer? Michelangelo
: No... Donatello
: Technically, yes.
: [to April
] Wassup, Angel Cakes?
: [spars with Donnie
] Wassup, bro? You want some of this? I'm like a ghost! I'm over here, then I'm over here bro! I'm a shadow! I'm a flying shadow fire dragon!
[Donatello knocks him down
[April stares at the Turtles
: See, she's looking at us like we're freaks! I bet that's why you took our picture, wasn't it, to show to your friends? Michelangelo
: Bro, that's a good thing. Maybe she has hot friends!
: So guys, if it wasn't already obvious with that girl... dibs!
: Like a shadow, bro!
: [Leonardo slices up pizza
] Yes, friends, the new tubo ginsu. Wa-hoo! It dices, it slices, and it makes French fries and three different...
[a pizza slice lands on Splinter's head
: WHOOPS. Splinter
: Good thing these guys aren't lumberjacks. Michaelangelo
: No joke. The only thing safe in the woods... would be the trees!
[Foot Soldiers broke in through windows
: Boy, and I thought insurance salesmen were pushy!
: [of Shredder, who just showed up
] Can anyone tell me who or what this is? Michaelangelo
: Don't know, but I bet it never has to look for a can-opener.
: [watching a "Tortoise and the Hare" cartoon on TV
] Go! Move it, will ya? Aw, you're letting him blow right by ya! Can you believe this guy? Come on! Don't just...! Ninja-kick the damn rabbit! Do something!
: We were awesome! Michaelangelo
: Bodacious! Raphael
: Bitchin'! Donatello
: Uh... Michaelangelo
: Gnarly! Leonardo
: Radical! Raphael
: Totally tubular, dude! Michaelangelo
: Wicked! Leonardo
: Hellacious! Donatello
: Uh, mega...
[Splinter clears his throat, the Turtles clam up
: I have always liked... Cowabunga. Leonardo
: COWABUNGA! Splinter
] I made a funny!
: I'd like to invite you all in but I really don't have anything to offer you guys except for some... frozen pizza. Michaelangelo
: [springs up from the manhole like a jack-in-the-box
] Let's go for it! Donatello
: You said the magic word. April O'Neil
: You guys eat pizza? Michaelangelo
: Doesn't everybody? April O'Neil
: Um, yeah... alright. Leonardo
: [from below
] Hey, did she say pizza?
[fighting Foot Soldiers
: Hey Donny, looks like this one is suffering from SHELL shock! Donatello
: Too derivative. Michaelangelo
: Well, I guess we can really SHELL it out! Donatello
: Too cliché. Michaelangelo
: Well, it was a SHELL of a good hit! Donatello
: I like it!
: God, I LOVE *BEING A TURTLE*!
: Awesome! Michaelangelo
: Righteous! Donatello
: Bossa Nova!
[Leonardo and Michaelangelo look at Donatello
: Dude, "Bossa Nova"? Donatello
: Chevy Nova?
[Leonardo and Michaelangelo groan
[Leonardo and Michaelangelo cheer in approval; Raphael walks sullenly behind them
[fighting Foot Soldiers
: One of these guys must know where they're holding Splinter, so don't knock them all out. Michaelangelo
: [getting beat
] I don't think that will be a problem, Leo.
[Michaelangelo jumps out of nowhere, startling April
: That was close. Whoa, time to switch to decaf, April.
: [to the Foot soldiers of Raph
] You guys mind telling me what you're doing to my little green pal over there, hm?
] Casey Jones
: Oh, who is the babe? Leonardo
: Who the heck is that? Michaelangelo
: Wayne Gretzky on steroids?
: Hey Donny, Wheel of Fortune, Dude.
[spins around on his shell, knocking down several Foot Soldiers
: Hmm, I guess they're not game show fans. Michaelangelo
: And I thought everybody loved Vanna.
: Oh man, I could go for a little deep dish action right about now. Danny
: I had some pizza here the other day. There might be some left over.
[Donatello takes a look
: Well? Donatello
: Question! Michaelangelo
: Grrr, yeah? Donatello
: Do you like penicillin on your pizza? Michaelangelo
[Donatello and Michelangelo start humming "Taps" and set the pizza aside
: So, what do you guys like on your pizza? Michaelangelo
: Oh, just the regular stuff: flies, stink bugs... It was a joke.
: We were awesome. Michaelangelo
: Yes, Dudes and Dudettes, major-league butt-kicking is back in town.
: My nearest neighbors are about four miles away. I need to get to a phone and call my boss. Casey Jones
: You mean Charles? April O'Neil
: Yes; how did you know that? Casey Jones
: He left a message on your machine, uh, just before we got out... April O'Neil
: And? Casey Jones
: Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper. Um... You were fired. April O'Neil
: I just saved myself? Casey Jones
: [oblivious to the dark tone
] Mm-hm. Donatello
: Uh-oh. April O'Neil
: What did you do? Did you take classes in insensitivity? Casey Jones
: I was just trying to break it to you easy. April O'Neil
: Oh, well you FAILED miserably... Casey Jones
: Hey, broadzilla, you wouldn't even be standin' here if it weren't for me, okay? April O'Neil
: Oh, well what do you want? You want a thank you? Casey Jones
: ...No. It's me who should thank you for that priviledge, right? April O'Neil
: Fine! Casey Jones
: Yeah. April O'Neil
: Thank you. Casey Jones
: No, thank YOU! April O'Neil
: You're welcome! Casey Jones
: YOU'RE welcome!
[they go into two separate rooms and slam the doors
: Gosh, it's kinda like Moonlighting, isn't it?
: Nice night. Michaelangelo
: Mm-hm. Pizza dude's got thirty seconds. Donatello
: Mm-hm. Hey Mikey, did you ever think about what Splinter said tonight? I mean about what it would be like... You know, not having him? Michaelangelo
: Hmm... Time's up, three bucks off!
: [confronting the turtles
] You fight well... in the old style. But you've caused me enough trouble. Now you face: the Shredder. Donatello
: The Shredder? Michaelangelo
: Uuh... maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.
: [sees that Raph has brought home an unconscious April
] Can we keep her?
[after easilly defeating dozens of foot soldiers, the turtles are suddenly getting decimated by their leader, Shredder
: [Out of breath
] Okay... At what point... did we lose... control, here?
: Are you guys sure you know where you're going? Michaelangelo
: 11th and Bleeker?
[Sniffs the air
: Nope, this is only 9th St. Ha ha! Get it? April O'Neil
: Yeah. Michaelangelo
: Where's Splinter? The Shredder
: Ah, the rat. So it has a name...
[remembering his order to kill Splinter
] The Shredder
: It HAD a name. Leonardo
: [furiously pushes past the other turtles
] You LIE! The Shredder
: Do I? The Shredder
: [Leo lunges at Shredder, who trips him up with his spear and pins him to the ground
] He dies! Weapons!
[the turtles grasp their weapons
] The Shredder
[Mike, Don and Raph chuck their weapons over the side of the building
] The Shredder
: Fools. Ha, ha. The three of you may have overpowered me with the loss of but one! Now your fate... will be HIS! Michaelangelo
: Will I ever see you guys again? Michaelangelo
: Indubitably! Leonardo
: Well, that depends on how fast you restock your pizza.
: [searching for Michaelangelo's address
] OK, 122... 122 1/8? 122 1/8. Terrific. Where the heck is 122 1/8? Michaelangelo
: [through the sewer grate
] You're standing on it, Dude! Just pass it down here!
[the Delivery Man passes pizza through the grate, and $10 is passed up
] Delivery Man
: Gimme that!... Hey, this is a $10! The tab's $13! Michaelangelo
: You're two minutes late, dude! Delivery Man
: Oh, come on, I couldn't find the place! Michaelangelo
: Wise man say: "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza." Delivery Man
: [walks away
] I gotta get a new route. And I thought I delivered everywhere...
[a member of the Foot pulls out a nunchuk
: Oh, a fellow chucker, eh?
[engages in a contest with the Foot Ninja, and wins
: Keep practicing!
: So what do we do now? Leonardo
: What do you mean, what do we do now? Raphael
: Splinter's out there somewhere. Leonardo
: I know Splinter's out there. Michaelangelo
: [guessing what's about to happen
] Fight? Donatello
: Fight. Michaelangelo
: Kitchen? Donatello
: Kitchen. Michaelangelo
[both Michaelangelo and Donatello leave
: So what are we gonna do about it? Leonardo
: What CAN we do about it? April's our only link to these guys. We have to wait until she comes up with something. Raphael
: Oh, so that's the plan from the "great leader", huh? Just sit here on our butts! Leonardo
: I never said I was a great leader. Raphael
: Well you sure act like it sometimes. Leonardo
: Yeah? Well, you act like a JERK sometimes, you know that? And this attitude of yours isn't helping anything. Raphael
: Yeah? Well, maybe I'll just take my attitude and LEAVE! Leonardo
: Why don't you? Raphael
: I will. Leonardo
: Good! Raphael
: Great! Leonardo
: Go ahead! We don't need ya! Michaelangelo
: [listening from the kitchen
] Pork rind? Donatello
: Pork rind.
: [imitating Rocky Balboa
] Uh, yo well, uh, maybe I'll fight Apollo, uh, maybe I won't, you know. What do you think? Adrian.
: Okay, I got another one. Oh, this is totally cool. Raphael
: Oh no, not Cagney. Michaelangelo
: [imitating James Cagney
] You dirty rat. You killed my brudda. You dirty rat. Oooh. Woo-hoo.
] April O'Neil
: That must be Splinter's favorite.
[the turtles glare at her
] April O'Neil
: It was a joke.
[they pause, then burst out laughing
: [of Raphael
] Well... I *was* going to give you guys a tour of the store. Shall we go get him? Leonardo
: No. Donatello
: Uh... he just needs to blow off some steam. Michaelangelo
: For 15 years now, we have lived here. Before that time, I was a pet of my master Yoshi. When we were forced to come to New York, I found myself for the first time without a home, wandering thew sewers, scavaging for whatever I could find. And then, one day, I came upon a shattered glass jar and four baby turtles. Michaelangelo
] That was us! Hee hee. Donatello
: Shut up! Oh, no... Splinter
: The little ones were crawling into a strange glowing ooze from a broken canister nearby. I gathered them up in an old coffee can and when I awoke the next morning, I received a shock. For they had doubled in size. I, too, was growing. Particularly in intellect. I was amazed by how intelligent they seemed, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next: one of them spoke. Young Michaelangelo
: [in flashback
] Pizza. Pizza. Splinter
: More words followed, and I began their training. Teaching them all that I had learned from my master. And soon, I gave them all names: Leonardo, Michaelangelo Michaelangelo
: That's me. Splinter
[he makes a heroic-sounding hum
: and Raphael. April
: I'm not dreaming, am I? Splinter
: No. I'm afraid not.
: [on the phone ordering a pizza
] Oh, and I want no anchovies. And I mean, NO anchovies. You put anchovies on this thing and you're in big trouble, okay?
[the Turtles have been rescued by Splinter
: That's right, Shredder, you forgot, we carry insurance. Michaelangelo
: Yeah, Mutual Splinter dude!
: Get it? Donatello
: Got it. Raphael
: Good. Michaelangelo
: I don't get it.
: Michaelangelo, show the professor where he may rest. Michaelangelo
: Righty-o. This way, dude. It ain't the Hilton.
[opens subway car and they both look in
: Um, let's face it, you'd be better off staying at the Hilton.
: Take the ugly one! Raphael
: No, you take the ugly one! Donatello
: I'll take the ugly one. Michaelangelo
: Which one's the ugly one?
[smoke bomb was set off
: Oh great. Leonardo
: Terrific. Raphael
: Wonderful. Michaelangelo
: Hey, guys, check this!
[he uses brushes to imitate 'The Karate Kid'
: Wax on, wax off. Wax on... Raphael
: Mouth OFF! Donatello
: Hey, everyone's a critic.
: These nets are very effective and very well constructed. Michaelangelo
: Yeah, remind me to drop a line to Ralph Nader!
: The perimeter's quiet. Leonardo
: Yeah, a little too quiet.
[Donatello knocks two Foot soldiers out
: Well, that was easy! Leonardo
: Yeah, a little too easy. Donatello
: Look! It's Raph! Michaelangelo
: Yeah, a little too Raph.
: Guys, guys! I've just thought of something. Two words that'll solve all our housing problems! Time share! Donatello
: [taps on Michaelangelo's head
] Hmmm, not quite ripe yet.
: I'm Leonardo. Michaelangelo
: I'm Michaelangelo. Donatello
: Donatello. Raphael
: I'm Raphael! Michaelangelo
: All the good ones end in "O"!
: Ahh, ninja pizza! Donatello
: "Ninja pizza"? Michaelangelo
: Pizza that vanish quickly without trace!
: Please, please. A moment to reflect.
[all the turtles sniff
: AHHHH! Okay!
: Let me get you guys some napkins. Michaelangelo
: What for?
: Their world can never be ours. Michaelangelo
: Uh... Not even pizza? Splinter
: [after pause
] Pizza's okay.
[the turtles sigh with relief
: Man, give a guy a heart attack.
: Um, not to criticize science or anything, but wouldn't it be easier just to call it 'the pink one'? Professor Jordan Perry
: [pours a liquid in a pan, and eats a piece of pizza
] Pepperoni heaven! Professor Jordan Perry
: [pours two liquids in a pot
] Donatello, continue aeration! Donatello
: Continuing aeration.
[begins to stir the mixture the pot
: [sniffs the mixture
] Man! This stuff is rank! Keno
: Yeah, try carrying it on the subway sometime. I never got a seat so fast in my life. Leonardo
: [sniffs the mixture
] Blech! Thanks for doing all the shopping for us, Keno. Keno
: No problem. I hope you didn't mind me picking up a few pies. Michaelangelo
: You're forgiven.
[sniffs the mixture
[drops a slice of pizza in the mixture
: [Donatello continues to mix the stuff with the pizza slice
: We'll give you the tour later. Right now, we got a few questions. Donatello
: Yeah, a few inquiries. Michaelangelo
: Yeah, a few... Uh, we'll give you the tour later.
[the turtles face Tokka and Rahzar for the first time
: Well, you know what they say? The bigger they are...
[runs and jump-kicks Rahzar but rebounds and crashes to the floor
: ...The more bones they break.
: Were you seen? Leonardo
: Of course not, Master Splinter. Donatello
: We practiced Ninja. Michaelangelo
: [off camera
] The art of invisibility.
[appears from behind Raph
: [holds up the New York Post, with a front page picture of the turtles on stage, with the headline "Ninja Rap is Born!"
] Practice harder.
[the turtles groan
: Ten flips, now! And remember:
[quoting the song played at the show
: "Go Ninja, go Ninja, go!" I made another funny! Ha ha ha ha!
: Hey, is this gonna work?
[regarding the donut idea
: Is, like, Schwarzenegger hard to spell?
[Donatello prepares to spell but realizes its true
[the turtles walk out into the middle of the construction site
: Pretty quiet. Raphael
: [shouts and breaks the eerie silence
] Shredder! Donatello
: [grabs Raphael
] Thanks, Raph. I may never have the hiccups again!
: [seeing Tokka and Rahzar
] Hey didn't we see these guys on WrestleMania?
[cooking up an anti-mutagen to transform Tokka and Rahzar
: You think this stuff is gonna work? Donatello
: Well, we won't know for sure until we spray those guys. Professor Jordan Perry
: Well, actually... Donatello
: Actually? Professor Jordan Perry
: Actually... ingestion is the only course. Michaelangelo
: You mean they have to eat it? Professor Jordan Perry
: Affirmative. Yes. Yo. Right on... my man.
: [Michaelangelo beating up a thug behind a deli counter
] You want a pickle? I'll give you a pickle!
: [to a rave audience
] You like what you saw? Then give it up for a turtle!
: Hey, Dudes! Cowabunga says it all.
: [bad guy approaches him
] Wait! Can we talk?
[bad guy grabs him by the hands and begins spinning him in circles
: W-w-woah! Major spin cycle! Wooooah! Leonardo
: [spots Michaelangelo
] M... Mikey? Michaelangelo
: Maybe I should have brought...
[bad guy releases him, sending him flying through the air
: ... BAGELS!
[he crashes into a wall, then stands up dizzy
: Woah. Now I know what a postal package feels like.
: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Leonardo
: Man, I love being a turtle! Raphael
: Too bad the Shredder can't say the same thing.
[April stands over a sewer grate and under an umbrella in the pouring rain. The turtles drop down one by one, but Michelangelo stops and faces her wearing a fedora
: Well, the lives of two people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world, Ilsa. That's why you're getting on that plane...
: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...
[Leonardo grabs him and pulls him down
: [picks up phone
] Donny? Donatello
: April... April O'Neil
: Where are you guys? Did you find a new place to live yet? Donatello
: Yeah, we'll bring you down. We've only had time to pick up Splinter and get a few essentials. Michaelangelo
: [holding out a bag of potato chips
] Yeah, the bare essentials. Donatello
: The reason while we're calling is, have you seen Raphael by any chance? April O'Neil
: Raphael? Why, is he missing? Leonardo
: You know, there is still a little more stuff to help with, Michaelangelo! Michaelangelo
: Hey! I'm helping Donny!
[tries to pry the phone from him
: Gimme the phone! Donatello
[flips Michaelangelo to the ground
: So you haven't seen him at all then, huh? Leonardo
: Well, if she has, tell him thanks for wasting our time, because instead of going to look for the ooze like we should, we gotta go out and look for him instead!
[slams box on Donatello's foot
: Owww! April O'Neil
: What was that? Donatello
: Leo says hi! Michaelangelo
: Gimme the phone! Gimme the phone! Donatello
: Oh, all right, all right, here! Michaelangelo
: April, this is Mikey, I'd just like to say: HELLOOOOO, muah, muah, muah, muah, muah... Donatello
: WOULD YOU GIVE ME THAT!
[April laughs as they start arguing again
: Turtle-rific Raphael
: Max-a-mundo! Donatello
: Accapella! Raphael
: Huh? Donatello
: Uhhh... Perestroika? Michaelangelo
: Uhh... Donatello
: Ok, I got it... Frère Jacques. Starts singing: Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques... Michaelangelo
: Don... Give it up!
: [the Turtles say their farewells to April before entering the sewers
] See ya, April. April O'Neil
[Leo hops into the sewers
: Wish us luck.
: We'll be back for Splinter.
: [Imitating Humphrey Bogart
] Well, the lives of two people don't amount to a hill o' beans in this crazy world, Elsa. That's why you're getting on that plane.
: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow... Leonardo
: [Yanks Mikey into the sewer
] Will you come on? Michaelangelo
: Uh-oh, turtle tantrum.
] My legs hurt. My arms hurt. My spots hurt. Even my bandana hurts.
: Michaelangelo why are you wearing boxer shorts? Michaelangelo
: So that the guy who arrives in my place doesn't arrive bare butt naked.
: Why are you wearing boxer shorts? Michaelangelo
: So that the guy who comes in my place doesn't wind up bare-butt naked.
: [to Walker
] Hey, buddy, don't you know that Westerns are dead? Walker
: Speaking of dead.
[aims pistol at Michaelangelo
: Uh what I meant was they're not all dead. Like Clint. You look alot like Clint!
: What if we make a major u-turn and wind up in Godzilla-Land?
: Do you think they had pizza back then?
: [after bursting from a building engulfed in flames
] Kurt Russell, eat your heart out!
: I don't think I'll ever laugh again. Splinter
: Hmmm... Yo, Dude! Michaelangelo
: Huh? Splinter
: [suddenly wearing a Hawaiian hat
] Hee hee hee hee hee... Michaelangelo
: Oh... Yo, dude!
: Just like Elvis in Blue Hawaii. Uh-huh-huh! I saw it on cable. Michaelangelo
: [continues laughing
: Who's your tailor? Michaelangelo
: We're naked.
: But, I want to stay here... with you. Mitsu
: You will always be here with me, Michaelangelo.
: If we don't come back in two-and-a-half days, we're turtle soup. Leonardo
: Whoa! Michaelangelo
: Hey, dudes, check it out! We're in *Shogun*!
[preparing to jump into a burning building
: I don't think I'm cut out for this hero stuff.
: You don't mean - you're not seriously suggesting that Donatello is going to make an incredibly arcane time travel machine, are you? Leonardo
: No, of course not! Michaelangelo
: That'd be totally bogus. Raphael
: Really stupid! Donatello
: Well, that's a relief. Donatello
: [points over his shoulder
] No, that guy's gonna make it.
[Michaelangelo shows a villager how to make pizza
: We've got a, uh
: Ahhh. Pi-zza. Got that, dude? Pizza!
[takes a bite, makes a face
: Frisbee. Also cool.
: Turtles: It's not just a job. It's an adventure.
: Miaow, dude.
: Sorry about the crack about the bad vibes. You've got *great* vibes.
: Who's trapped inside? Leo
: Lord Norinaga! Donatello
: Lord Norinaga?
[hits the bell with his Bo staff
: Name rings a bell.
: Oh, he who dings the shell must *pay.*
: [to Kenshin
] How did you get in April's pants?
: Man, I love being a turtle.
: I'm going to find an apartment. I have an idea we're going to be here for a long time. Leonardo
: An apartment? Michaelangelo
: Do they have apartments in Japan? Raphael
: Do I look like a real estate agent? Leonardo
: What about condos?
: [about a horse he is riding backwards
] Don't these things ever run out of gas?
: What are you? Michelangelo
: We're not really into labels. Leonardo
: Some call us freaks... monsters. Raphael
: Let's just say we're four brothers, who hate bullies and love this city.
: [chuckles at Bebop
] Dude, bringing back the mohawk! Good for you! Bebop
: Oh ho ho, you all gots jokes, huh? Well, let's see how funny you are after we bash your heads in!
[Bebop and Rocksteady attack
: What's your name? Casey Jones
: Casey Jones. April O'Neil
: One question... so are you two like a thing?
: [taps Krang suit
] I was expecting way worse...
[Krang pops out
: It's like a chewed-up piece of gum, with a face!
: Mikey, we got company! Michelangelo
: Nunchuks Giganticus!
[wields giant nunchuks on two robotic arms
: Halloween parade, bro! it's the one night of the year we can fit in...
[comes out and walks in the parade
: Cool! Raphael
: Get back here!
[pulls him back into their sewer
: What part of "move in the shadows" don't you understand?
] This is awesome!
: [points to Donnie
] Donatello over there in the purple, he's a technical genius who is, technically, a genius!
[points to Raph
: Raphael over there in the red, he's like a big, cuddly teddy bear... if big cuddly teddy bears were incredibly violent.
[points to Leo
: This is Leonardo, he's in the blue, fearless leader, silent, but deadly, hah!
[points to himself
: And I'm Michelangelo, sporting my signature orange! I'm a triple threat, brains, brawn, and obviously a dazzling personality! Ladies like to call me Mikey! Leonardo
: [puts his arm around Mikey
] Are you done? Michelangelo
[the Turtles and Bebop and Rocksteady float down a river
: Bye, Turtles! Michelangelo
: That's nice of them to say goodbye... Rocksteady
: Heads up!
[the Turtles go over a waterfall screaming
: [spots Splinter in the lair
] Guys, nobody move! Don't move... there is a giant rat back there. Raphael
: Uh, yeah, we've seen him around here before. You know, there's only one way to get rid of him. You gotta get low... Michelangelo
: Low... Raphael
: When you go at him, you gotta go fast, gotta go hard. Michelangelo
: We believe in you, Casey Jones! It's on you, bro! Raphael
: Yeah, exactly. Michelangelo
: Three, two, one... go!
[Casey charges at Splinter... who knocks him down
: Giant rat: one. New guy: zero. Raphael
] I can't believe it was that easy!
[Leonardo chops off the Krang suit's arm
: You think I didn't plan for this?
[summons a replacement arm and new weapons
: Guys, he's literally re-arming!
[the Turtles encounter a group of Foot Soldiers on board a plane
: The good news is, you're wearing chutes... Michelangelo
: Chutes! Raphael
: The bad news is...!
[the Foot Soldiers are thrown out of the cargo door, each of their parachutes deploying as they fall
: [in tears
] You should have seen the looks on their faces... it wasn't just fear, it was actual hate... Splinter
: It will be all right, my son. People fear what they do not understand.
[the Turtles hide in the cargo hold of a plane
: Isn't there supposed to be three stewardesses handing out warm towels and stuff? Raphael
: Not here, Mikey. Not for us.
[fighting on a plane after losing to Bebop and Rocksteady
: You can't just push past me like that! Raphael
: You were being a nitwit! You were going to let it get by you! Donatello
: I had it right in my hand, you acted like I wasn't even there! Leonardo
: It is not my job to make your presence known, okay! Get your head out of your head and communicate! Raphael
: Well, what do you expect? He's all logic, no skill! Michelangelo
: [to Raph
] Well, coming from the guy who's all instinct, no restraint... Leonardo
: [to Mikey
] What do YOU know about anything! You're all heart, and no brains! Donatello
: [to Leo
] How could you? You may know a lot about strategy ,but you know nothing about feelings! Leonardo
: Fair enough. Wanna know the one thing I am feeling? We may be brothers... but we are not a team.
[the Turtles train at the Chrysler building
: Okay guys, let's do this! Turtle formation!
[the Turtles dogpile each other
: What happened to Turtle formation? Michelangelo
: Turtle formation? I thought you said Squirrel formation! Raphael
: Why would he say Squirrel formation, you idiot?
: [on the purple ooze
] It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen... It gave me hope, you know, that we don't have to be stuck down here for ever... Raphael
: So Leo told Donnie to keep it a secret, from US?
[in a 2D New York
: Oh, no, dudes. I think we're in Pittsburgh!
: Totally radical! Michelangelo
, 80s Michelangelo
: [to each other
] You're just like me, dude! Cowabunga / Booyakasha!
: So, you've allied with yourselves with your dimensional counterparts, eh? 80s Donatello
: It's Krang! Michelangelo
: Whoa, what's with the gross man-baby body? Krang
: This will be the last time I have to look at you disgusting turtles! The Kraang are letting me go home. I just have to make a few amends, and Dimension X, here I come!
: Hands in the air, turtle freaks! We've got you surrounded! I hacked your stupid portal and brought you here. WHY? Because I'm awesome! Michelangelo
: Kraang Sub-Prime? Kraang Sub-Prime
] No, Megan Fox!... Oh, I forgot, you're the dumb one!
: Look out, Mikey! 80s Michelangelo
: Thanks, Michelangelo.
[Stopping the 80s Turtles from running into open populated streets
: You can't do that, dudes! 80s Leonardo
: Why not? Raphael
: Because we live in secret here. We have to live in the shadows, like, you know, real ninjas!
: [in 3D New York
] Dudes, look at us! We're like, more solid or something! 80s Leonardo
: What's going on, Donatello? 80s Donatello
: Well, we came from a 2-dimensional reality into a 3rd dimension. It's like science fiction! 80s Raphael
: Hey, guys, now that we're in a new dimension... 80s Michelangelo
: PIZZA TIME! Far out!
: [sees the 2012 Turtle Lair
] Whoa, dudes! This lair is rockin'! Check out that pinball. Totally radical!
: We checked out the weapon. This is bad, guys! This is really bad! 80s Donatello
: The weapon is linked to two other identical bombs. And they're rigged to go off in 9 minutes! 80s Raphael
: So where are the others? Donatello
: We believe at least one of the other bombs is in your dimension! 80s Michelangelo
: They're gonna nuke our world, bros. Totally bogus!
: Back off, ugly Kraang dude!
: [Arrived back in the 1987 2D New York
] Whew, finally! Back in the real world.
: It's over! We stopped your little scheme! We deactivated all your dimensionizers! 80s Michelangelo
: That's right, pink dude! You can't blow up our realities anymore! Kraang Sub-Prime
: Blow up... realities?
[Kraang Sub-Prime turns to Krang
] Kraang Sub-Prime
: You've been trying to wipe out dimensions we've been trying to mutate for thousands of years? Are you insane? Krang
: Well, you did say to wipe out the turtles at any cost... Kraang Sub-Prime
: This is why I banished you to 2-Dimensional Earth in the first place: Because you're an idiot! A moron! A dingleberry! So, you know what? I'm kicking yah back!
[Sub-Prime kicks Krang through a portal
: Oh no! Not again...!
: [Tiger Claw emerges Kraathatrogon
] Um, I think things just got really bad, bros.
: I'm trying to tell you, this isn't a weapon! It's a portal projector! Donatello
: Oh yeah? Well how do we know you're not a Kraang? 80s Leonardo
: That's why we brought you here. Krang! He's causing trouble in our dimension, and yours too! 80s Michelangelo
: Krang's like trying to destroy both our realities, dudes! We just don't know how. You've gotta believe us! 80s Raphael
: That's why we called on you posers, I mean "turtles", for help. Did I say posers? Oops. Raphael
: Posers? You guys don't even fight with your weapons! And what's up with the intials on your belts? Lame!
: [falls into a dumpster
] I'm okay!
: OK, Leo, I'll bite. What're we doing up here? Leonardo
: I told Splinter I'd get this team in shape again. Michelangelo
: Hey, I've been training. Since you've left, my videogame scores have, like, doubled. Leonardo
: [re: Nightwatcher
] I hear his bike turns into a plane, or like a jet pack. Hey Don, you're so smart, why don't we have jet packs? Donatello
: Yeah, that's good, Mikey. I don't even trust you with a driver's license.
[to the others
: Have you seen the way this guy drives? Michelangelo
: [they hear a monster roar
] Woah... Ho Ho someone's craky! Raphael
: [to Leo
] ok Jungle Boy, grab a vine
: I have nightmares about birthday parties.
: Within hours, we'll lose the city. Within days, the country. And within weeks... the world. Michelangelo
: Oh, so it's like Hailey's Comet - only monsters come out!
: [observes Winters laying on floor
] It's Winters. Michelangelo
: Looks more like fall to me.
: What do you think it is? Donatello
: An interdimensional portal to a distant world, I would assume. Michelangelo
: Ooooh! I want one!
: Did anyone get the license plate of that thing that hit us last night? It looked like your mom, dude!
: ...Yeah, that would make her your mom too, doofus. Michelangelo
: Dudes, did anyone get the license plate number of that thing that hit us last night? Man, my head. Donatello
: Okay, that was just weird, first the Foot, then that hideous monster, Michelangelo
: Yeah, it looked like your mom, dude! Donatello
: Yeah, that would make her your mom too, dufus. Michelangelo
: Ah, good morning boys! Leonardo
: Good morning Sensei. Raphael
: [looking in the monster's capsules for Leonardo
[monster leaps at window snarling
: Sorry, wrong cage.
: I'd give us a ten for style. Michelangelo
: An eight for skill. Michelangelo
: And a two for stealth.
: [pauses skateboarding
] Oh, so it's like Haley's Comet, only monsters come out? Donatello
: Umm, well, yes, I guess so. Michelangelo
: I'm smart.
[skateboards off-screen, sound of a loud crash
: OW! I'm OK!
: Why skate a half-pipe when you can skate a sewer pipe?
: Sensei, are you all right? Master Splinter
] We must do this more often. Master Splinter
[kicks demon back into vortex
] Master Splinter
: I still got it!
: [talking in his sleep
: There's a little more algae and worms left. If anyone wants it. Anybody? Anybody?
: [staring at a neon sign for a palm reader
] Guys, guys! check this out. A hand made made out of light.
: Now it's an eye made of light.
: And the hand again! Now the eye's back! Now the hand!
: [the 4 stare down hesitantly at a pizza for the first time, Michelangelo volunteers to try it. He gobbles it noisily then lets out a satisfied belch
] Uh, yuck. You guys won't like it. I'll take the rest.
: Oh, yeah. Michelangelo is on the move. You don't know what to do: I'm here! I'm there! I could be anywhere. How do you stop what you can't even see? Leonardo
: [hits Michelangelo in his stomach
] Like that? Michelangelo
: Good one, Leo.
: High three.
: Happy mutation day!
: It's go time!
: I think he's delusional. Michelangelo
: Just... just come on. I'm telling you, the big guy was a robot. And he had a freaky-weird alien brain thing in his chest you gotta believe me! Raphael
: I'm not sure we do. Michelangelo
: Oh, yeah? Well you'll change your tune when you see that he's...
[looks down empty alleyway
: ... gone?
: And so your inability to work together allowed them all to get away. Raphael
: Well, maybe if I didn't have to waste time arguing with hero boy, I could've saved them. Leonardo
: Hey, if you hadn't gotten in my way, I could have done it, and you went flying off on your own. How smart was that? Donatello
: Well, it would've worked out great if somebody hadn't hit me in the head with their nunchucks. Michelangelo
: Well none of this would've happened if somebody hadn't trusted us to go up there in the first place.
] Oh geez. Sensei, I didn't mean to... Splinter
: No, Michelangelo, you are right. Michelangelo
: I am? Raphael
: He is? Splinter
: You were not fully prepared for what was up there. I trained you to fight as individuals, not as a team, and as your teacher - your father - the responsibility for that is mine. Perhaps in another year, we can try again. Donatello
: Another year? We don't have another year!
: Yes, you must save her. Leonardo
: I agree, Sensei but in that fight, we weren't exactly a well-oiled machine. Michelangelo
: Like that robot with the brain thingy. Raphael
: Give it a rest. Splinter
: Hmm. If you are to fight more effectively as a unit, you are going to need a leader. Leonardo
: Can I be the leader? Raphael
: Why should you be the leader? I kicked your butt. I should be the leader. Donatello
: Hey, I'm smarter than all you guys put together it should be me. Michelangelo
: I think it should be me.
[all stop to look at Mikey
: I don't really have a reason I just think it would be neat.
: Explain to me one more time what we're doing here. Raphael
: [All groan
: Mikey, we've been over this. That building has the same logo as the van that was used to kidnap the family so if we wait long enough, one the kidnappers will eventually show his face and when he does, we'll make him tell us where they took them. Michelangelo
: And then we got ourselves a van! Leonardo
: Just hit the guy I tell you to. Michelangelo
: will do! Raphael
: Are you sure this is gonna to work? Leonardo
: Trust me. They'll be here any second. Michelangelo
: Oh Michelangelo
: Okay, I'm thinking of something green. Ga-reen. Ga-reen. Donatello
: Is it Raphael again. Michelangelo
: Man, you're good at this!
: Guys! Guys! you're never gonna believe this. Michelangelo
: That dude, he - he had a brain! Leonardo
: We all have brains, Mikey. Donatello
: Not all of us. Michelangelo
: In our chests? Leonardo
: No, Mikey. not in our chests. Michelangelo
: You're not listening to me!
[Leonardo slaps Michelangelo
: Did you just slap me? Leonardo
: I was calming you down. Michelangelo
: WHY WOULD THAT CALM ME DOWN?
: Give it up already. The guy's not gonna show. Leonardo
: We have to be patient. Raphael
: No, you have to come up with a better plan, 'cause the four of us standing there with our thumbs up our noises... Michelangelo
: I don't think they'd fit... Raphael
: ...is pointless. Leonardo
: [Van parks on the corner
] You sure about that, Raph? Raphael
: He showed up, didn't he? I should've complained two hours ago. Leonardo
: Gentlemen, I have a bold and daring plan. There's no time for hesitation. My orders must be carried out without question.
[Turtles run off leaving Leo alone
: Guys? Guys, wait up!
: Are you talking to your pet turtle? Raphael
: No! Shut up! Michelangelo
: That's adorable!
[Raph chases Mikey
[Bebop, Rocksteady and the robot Foot Soldiers charge the turtles
: Uh... so, how do you guys normally handle these situations? Leonardo 1987
, Michelangelo 1987
, Donatello 1987
, Raphael 1987
: Turtle Power!
[Rush off to battle
: Don't ya just love these guys? Cowabunga! Leonardo 1987
, Michelangelo 1987
, Donatello 1987
, Raphael 1987
: Cowabunga! Raphael
: Geez, it's like having five Mikey's now!
: Hun mentioned the one "true" Shredder. Raphael
: And you know what that means. Michelangelo
: Our little alien Utrom is back. Raphael 1987
: Utrom Shredder? Sounds swedish!
[the 87' Turtles all laugh
: Stop it, stop it, stop it! Can't you guys be serious about anything? Leonardo 1987
: They're right, this is serious. I say we head to our lair, pick up our anti-Technodrome gear and go put it to good use. But first, we've got to save April!
: You don't understand. The Utrom Shredder isn't like your Shredder. He's vicious. Donatello
: Lethal. Michelangelo
: Competent! Raphael
: We go in, no saying if we come out.
[the 87' Turtles nervously look at each other
] Leonardo 1987
: Let's do this. Leonardo
: Today, we're more then allies. We're brothers. Leonardo 1987
, Michelangelo 1987
, Donatello 1987
, Raphael 1987
: Go green machine! Leonardo
: It's ninja time! Leonardo 1987
, Michelangelo 1987
, Donatello 1987
, Raphael 1987
: Turtle Power! Raphael
: Grr, annoying power. Leonardo 1987
, Michelangelo 1987
, Donatello 1987
, Raphael 1987
: Hey! Raphael
: Move it, half-shell! Michelangelo 1987
: Quit shoving!
: Time to hit the sewers, my brothers! Donatello 1987
: [87' Michelangelo tries to lift up a manhole cover, struggling
] These things are a lot heavier in your dimension! Raphael
: Out of the way, tubby. Alright, everybody into the pool. Donatello 1987
: Whew, your sewers really stink! Donatello
: Umm, you don't have any nostrils. Donatello 1987
: Touché. Michelangelo 1987
: Hey, what about the Technodrome? Raphael
: That crate moves about as fast as you guys. We'll catch up to it.
: Come on, Raph. Lighten up. Our cowabunga cousins aren't so bad. Right, guys? 1988 Leonardo
, 1988 Michelangelo
, 1988 Donatello
, 1988 Raphael
: [Tackling Michelangelo
] Wet Willie! Michelangelo
: You got me!
: Not bad? They're clowns, not ninjas! 1988 Leonardo
, 1988 Michelangelo
, 1988 Donatello
, 1988 Raphael
: Oh yeah? Raphael
: Yeah! Splinter
: Enough! Stop this bickering! You only do your enemy's work for him. You are ninja, all of you. And, all are welcome here. Do not embarrass your sensei. 1988 Donatello
: He may not look exactly like our Splinter, but he sure sounds like him. Raphael
: Yeah, uh, sorry about the 'clown' crack.
: So... I still don't get it. Which Shredder is back? Doing what? To who? 1988 Michelangelo
: All I know is we wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for your stupid Shredder. Raphael
: OUR Shredder? YOUR Shredder started this whole "stupid mess" with his stupid Technodrome in the stupid first place! 1988 Raphael
: Yeah, but your Shredder's like totally psycho-evil. 1988 Donatello
: Ours is just decaf. 1988 Leonardo
: Yeah. He won't keep you up at night. Casey Jones
: ...Your doubles ain't exactly playing with a full deck, are they? Michelangelo
: And they're really annoying. Casey Jones
: Gotcha. Up to speed now.
[Watching the 1988 turtles save April in their dimension
: Was that a mutant... banana? Michelangelo
: This dimension is seriously messes up!
: So, you're supposed to be us from other worlds... I don't see it. Mirage Donatello
: What's with the multi-coloured headbands? Mirage Raphael
: Heh, sellouts. Raphael
: Uh, well...
[points at the 87' Turtles
: Check out the initialized belt buckles on these yahoos. Michelangelo 1987
, Donatello 1987
, Raphael 1987
: Hey! Raphael
: How lame can a turtle get, am I right?
[Mirage Raphael pins Raphael's arm behind his back and kicks him
: OW! Geez, what a hardcase.
[the 88' Turtles grin at Raphael
: What? Michelangelo 1987
, Donatello 1987
, Raphael 1987
, Leonardo 1987
: You plan on doing us in, there's gotta be an easier way! The Shredder
: Oh, you shall perish, but not yet. You see, like you, I recently learned that ours is but a single dimension in a multiverse of dimensions. Intrigued, I used this very portal to survey them all. Which is when I made a startling, horrible discovery. There are not simple eight of you, but SCORES OF YOU! Behold, a multiverse of accursed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
[the Portal displays large images of multiple Turtle dimensions
] 1988 Leonardo
, 1988 Michelangelo
, 1988 Donatello
, 1988 Raphael
: AWESOME! The Shredder
: Destroying the eight of you would accomplish nothing! So long as ninja turtles exist somewhere in the multiverse, they will interfere in the plans of The Shredder. Our epic battle is never going to end unless I put an end to turtles... FOREVER! Splinter
: Even a creature as power-mad as you, cannot believe he has the ability to subvert the entire multiverse! The Shredder
: Let us put that to a test, vermin! It seems like branches hanging off a single tree, each of these dimensions sprang from a common source. Destroy the source, and you would set off a chain reaction that would destroy ninja turtles everywhere, forever more! And so, you are being scanned. Broken down, for the sole purpose of discovering your "source" DNA. Two turtle teams from two turtle worlds. Different in so many ways, but deep down there are similarities. And those similarities will point the path to the source dimension: Turtle Prime!
: I'm gonna miss those wannabes. Mirage Michelangelo
: Yeah, I kinda dug the initials on the belt buckles. Mirage Raphael
] You would. I could go for a slice though. Mirage Leonardo
: There's that place on Bleeker.
: [cat on his shell
] Anyone wanna help me with this? Raphael
: Whoa, that rad! Oh, I wish me and Chris Bradford were friends!
] April O'Neil
: Mikey, you already have a human friend. Me! Michelangelo
: April, you don't count. We saved your life, you have to like us. Raphael
] Too bad there's no place for freaks to meet people where no can see how hideous they are. April O'Neil
: Wait, there is... the internet! Donnie, can I see your laptop? April O'Neil
: Uh, y - uh, sure! Just a sec.
: Check it out, It's a site where you can make friends with anybody online. Michelangelo
: Sweet! Michelangelo
] Ohh, Chris Bradford's on here! He'll be my first friend! Michelangelo
: Mikey, people don't always respond immed -
: But sometimes they do. Michelangelo
] No way! Chris Bradford has accepted my friendship! I have a friend! Thanks, April! Donatello
: Where are you going? hey! Michelangelo
: To hang out with my friend, Chris Bradford. April O'Neil
: This guy's famous. He's probably has thousand friends. Michelangelo
: And guess who's number 5,286? April O'Neil
: You? Michelangelo
: Daniel Ramirez and I next to him. Later!
: Awww! It's a little kitty! And its name is... Cat Owner
] Mittens! Michelangelo
: Good guess... Wait, who said that?
: Mittens! Donatello
: I think that's the owner. Donatello
: What're you doing? Raphael
: Whoa, Hey. Leonardo
: Mikey, wait! Michelangelo
: What? I'm returning Mittens to her owner. Raphael
: Are you an idiot? Wait, let me rephrase that: You are an idiot! Donatello
: You can't show show yourself to a human! Michelangelo
: Why not? Donatello
: Because they'll freak the heck out, that why not! Michelangelo
: No they won't, I'm not so scary! Raphael
: You're an ugly green mutant, armed with ninja weapons!
: Face it, humans will never understand you. Heck, we don't even understand you! Michelangelo
: But I bet that guy would! Leonardo
: Chris Bradford. The martial arts superstar with a chain of dojos across the country. He's your soulmate? Michelangelo
: We've got so much in common.
[poses like Bradford
: what if you stop standing like that? Michelangelo
: We'll have a little less in common, but still a lot! And look, he's in town for martial arts expo. Maybe he'll show me his secret kata, the Death Dragon and I'll show him my secret kata, the Secret Kata! Donatello
: Catchy Michelangelo
: check it out.
] But don't tell anyone you saw it Leonardo
: No problem Raphael
: Face it, Mikey, Chris Bradford is the last person on earth that you would be his friends with you. Well, tried for last, with everyone else on earth.
: Top that, turtle chumps!
: Do you like pizza? Chris Bradford
: Yeah, sure... Michelangelo
: [hugs Bradford
] We have so much in common!
: How ya doing, Mikey? Michelangelo
] This was all my fault, I should have never thought I could be friends with a human. Raphael
: Don't be so hard on yourself. Michelangelo
: So it's not my fault? Raphael
: Of course it's your fault!
: If you tell the others, I'll beat the green off you, but... you're an awesome guy. Michelangelo
: Bradford didn't think so. Raphael
: Well, he's a psychotic killing machine. You deserve way better friends than that. Michelangelo
: You know what? You're right. Thanks, Raph! Raphael
: [at the computer
] "Unfriend." Hahaha! Revenge!
: You think I'd joke about the pizza? You know me a little better than that, Donnie, to joke about the pizza!
: Why are you doing this, pizza? I've always loved you!
: They'll never believe you now... Totally... worth it. Ugh! I'm going into the light... Michelangelo
: This is like so. Messed. Up.
: Does he have a pizza for a face? Pizza
: Yes! Michelangelo
: Then I will call him Pizza Face! Pizza
: But we all have pizza faces... Michelangelo
: Now, what would be in the best pizza ever? Duh! Hot sauce!
[sings while preparing a pizza
: I love a little hot sauce on my pizza! I love a little hot sauce, yes I do! But hot sauce isn't hot, without sardines, son! It just tastes like a pile of sticky GOO! Some protein from a pile of worms, some garlic, chives and marshmallows too! But wait a second, BOO! If you please, I'm missing the most important part: CHEESE! A cheesicle, I need my cheesicle, Ice Cream Kitty, give me a cheesicle! Come on!
[Ice Cream Kitty gives him a cheesicle
: Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! Kitty, kitty, kitty! Ice Cream Kitty give me a cheesicle! Come on! Raphael
: Are they ever gonna stop singing? It sickens me!
: W-Where am I? Michelangelo
: I'll ask the questions here, see? Tell me what you've done with my brothers and my sensei, see? Pizza
: Think I'm gonna spill my toppings? No way! My crust is sealed.
[Mikey peels off a piece of pepperoni from the pizza and eats it
: You're gonna talk. Now let's try this one more time. Who is the pizza mastermind? Pizza
: Grill me all you want. I'm not gonna give up the big cheese. Michelangelo
: Tough guy, huh? 'Cause I don't grill cheese, I BAKE it. In a hot, sticky oven! Get the picture?
[shows the pizza an oven filled with burnt remains of pizza
] You sick little monkey!
: There's only one way out of this... and that's eating my way out!
[starts chomping on pizza
] Pizza Face
: Mamma mia! What are you doing?
: How much? Pizza Boy
: At Antonio's the first one's free. Michelangelo
: Whoa... How many times can you order the first one?
: [eating Pizza face
: [eating ice cream
] So, I wonder what happened to Master Splint - AAAHH! BRAIN FREEEEEZZZEE!
: [sees the cat
] Can we keep her? Donatello
: You know, Master Splinter IS a rat. Casey Jones
: Yeah! What if that cat goes nuts and attacks him? She could eat off his body for months! Donatello
: You know, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.
: You're mine now, Splinter. Destroy your sons, one by one! Michelangelo
: Forget that, Rat King! Ice Cream Kitty awaaaaayyyy!
[hurls Ice Cream Kitty at the Rat King, who freaks out at it
: Is that April's cat? Michelangelo
: Absolutely!... Not.
: I don't know, Master Splinter... This doesn't seem fair... Splinter
] I assure you, it is not.
[Splinter and Leo duel... and Splinter trounces him
: Blind fighting is more than just honing your other senses. It is about perception, and giving the illusion of control. You may think you have the upper hand in the situation... you do not!
[Mikey and Raph laugh at Leo
: Looks like someone needs a shower... Raphael
: How's that floor taste, Lame-O-Nardo? Splinter
: [whacks Raph and Mikey
] It is not hard to sense loud mouths.
[Mikey puts Ice Cream Kitty in a freezer
: Don't worry, my little friend. This will keep you from melting, until I use my scientific genius to figure something out...
[Kitty licks Mikey
: You taste so good, my little ice cream kitty...
[licks Kitty back
: [accidentally feeds the cat mutagen
] What have I done?
[the cat mutates into a creature made of ice cream
[Ice Cream Kitty decks a giant rat
: Ice Cream Kitty, you're my hero!... And you taste so good!
: [punches a giant rat
] Smell the cheeeesse... SMELL THAT CHEESE!... C'mon, smell it!
: Are you ready for the most dangerous, crucial mission of your life? Ice Cream Kitty
: Meow! Michelangelo
: Awww, kitty... Then let's do this!
: Michelangelo: party dude packing loads of wacky wit. The heart of the family. Michelangelo
: So, you schmucks don't wanna make good with our gang and pay up, huh? Well, Boss Bebop's here to tell youse there ain't no pizza joint we're gonna own 'fore we're through - even if we gotta remodel some of 'em first! TEAR DIS PLACE APART, BOYS! Michelangelo
: Great... can we get our delicious pies to go?
: TURTLE POWER!
[after fighting Rocksteady
: Crud, that dude was mean! Raphael
: Not mean enough!
: Let's get back to the lair and figure out what we need to do next. Michelangelo
: Next? Easy! Pepperoni and extra cheese! Leonardo
: I swear, little bro, you're like a bottomless pit. When aren't you hungry? Michelangelo
: Um... I think the question these days should be "When am I not fighting?" Look! More mystery ninjas, dude!
[after fighting Leatherhead
: Who the heck was that guy and who put the bug up his butt? Donatello
: Us, apparently. You heard him, he thinks we're traitors because we fight other mutants. Raphael
: Only the knucklehead ones. That lizard's got problems, if you ask me. Leonardo
: Unfortunately, it looks like those problems are now ours, too...
: [watching TV
] Gee, I wish I could meet April O'Neil someday...
: The gangs want to take over the pizza shops? We gotta do something about this tragedy, man! Leonardo
: You're right, Mikey - we can't let these goons have their way! Time to make a stand!
: Just call me Señor Perfecto!
: Oh, what a bummer. No soap, no hope.
: Whoa, buds! This was definitely a radical ride. ha ha ha!
: I promise, dude, I'll never eat another anchovy pizza again.
: Well, we can't get much smaller, einstein.
: Whoa, man!
: Ta-da! all right, Dudes, it's scarfing time!
: Hey, just scope out these babies.
: Well, ask splinter. It was his idea.
: You wretched mutants still think you have a chance? You are foolish than even I thought! Michelangelo
: Yeah, I get that a lot from people, actually... wait, what?
: [on Wingnut
] Would you say he's nutty? Or maybe even... batty? Donatello
: He's got a screw loose, that's for sure.
[the Turtles find a bag of money
: [on phone
] Hello, Rupert's Pizzeria? Yeah, I'd like to order 2000 extra-large cheese and pepperoni and 5000 orders of breadsticks to pick up please...
[Leo, Donnie and Raph glare at Mikey
: Uh... never mind, dude. Wrong number.
: So guys, if Bebop is trying to break into the safe, does that make this a... piggy bank? Raphael
] Leo, can you talk to this guy? Leonardo
: Guess he's trying to bring home the bacon, huh? Donatello
: Please, not you too Leo...
: [on Karai
] Seriously, what is the problem with this woman? Michelangelo
: Guys, you think maybe she has a crush on me or something?
: [on Wingnut
] For a moment, I was worried we were gonna have to deal with extraterrestrial intelligence! Leonardo
: Just be careful, Raph, the crazy ones are usually the most dangerous ones. Raphael
: I'll say. Michelangelo
: ...what are you looking at me for?
[the Turtles encounter Rocksteady in the underground metro
: That's it, I'm never taking the subway ever again! Donatello
: I think the odds of running into a rhino during your daily commute are negligible, Mikey. Raphael
: What daily commute? He just sits on the couch and plays video games all day! Leonardo
: [to Raph
] You know, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
[Bebop appears to help Rocksteady fight the Turtles
: I knew it! Whenever old horn-head shows up, pig-brain is never far behind! Michelangelo
: He probably got on the wrong train, like 12 times or something. Leonardo
: Do I need to bring up glass houses again, Mikey? Michelangelo
: Hey, that only happened once!... This year... So far.
: You made a wise decision, Michelangelo.
[Raph, Donnie and Leo stare
: Yes, I never thought I'd hear myself say that either. His scars run deep, but they protect a genuine heart. When he awakens, Michelangelo, you must find a way to befriend him. Michelangelo
: No problemo! Donatello
: But we're still chaining him up, right? Splinter
: Of course, I am compassionate, not insane.
: It's like you always say Master Splinter; the enemy of my enemy is my bro. Splinter
: That is not exactly what I said...
: Give to Kraang the power cell that Kraang has come to demand that you give to Kraang! Michelangelo
: It's the Kraang!
[Mikey feeds the alligator pizza noodle soup
: This is the best thing I have ever tasted! Michelangelo
: All right! Somebody finally likes my cooking!
: So, what's your name, anyway? Leatherhead
: I do not have one. Michelangelo
: You don't have a name? Well, today's your lucky day, because I'm a genius at naming stuff!
[examines the alligator
: Your head is kinda leathery... How about Headleather? Heather?... No, wait, Leatherhead! Even better! Leatherhead! Leatherhead
: Leatherhead it is. Thank you.
: There are times when I lose control. When I awaken, I am horrified by what I have done. A monster like me deserves to be chained. Michelangelo
: Or maybe you just think you're a monster because everyone treats you that way. Leatherhead
: You are wise beyond your years. Michelangelo
: Yeah, I get that a lot.
: [about Leatherhead
] We're doing to him what everyone else does to us: judging him by his looks! Donatello
: And the fact that he had me BY THE FACE, Mikey!
: Where are all the people? Michelangelo
: You mean the ones that survived? They're forced to work 18-hour days in the Shredder's labor camps. No one's allowed at night. Donatello
: What happened to Leo and Raph? Michelangelo
: Let's just say they got in a big fight a long time ago. When you never came back, Donny... well, everything just fell apart. We were a team. Without you, it just didn't work. I guess we really needed that level head of yours.
: Donnie? No way! Leonardo
: Donatello! You're back! I don't believe it! Michelangelo
: Believe it!
: Brainiac here wants to go up against the Shredder. Leonardo
: We've already tried it, Donny. How do you think we lost Casey? Raphael
: The Shredder's palace is surrounded by an army of Foot police. Leonardo
: And Utrominators. Raphael
: And Karai Legions. Leonardo
: We can't even get inside to fight him. Baxter Stockman
: And if you could you couldn't beat him. The Shredder's new exo-suit is stronger than ever. I should know, I designed it. Leonardo
: It's impossible. Raphael
: Can't be done, Donny. It's hopeless. Donatello
: I don't know what happened to you guys, but the Turtles I knew believed that nothing was ever hopeless. Please. We can do this. Leonardo
: All right, Donny, we'll do it one more time. But please, tell me we have a fighting chance.
: Come on! We gotta buy Donny a little more time! Keep the bots busy!
[Mikey battles several Karai Legion Bots, until he gets overwhelmed and sliced apart
: Mikey, NOOO! You'll pay Shredder! If it's the last thing I do, you will pay!
: Mikey! Your... your arm! What happened to your arm? Michelangelo
: You're the one that's got some questions to answer! Where the shell have you been all these years? Donatello
: All these years? Michelangelo
: You've been gone over thirty years, Donatello. Donatello
: Thirty years? It can't be! Michelangelo
: Can be, and is! We thought you were dead... How the shell could you just abandon us like that? Donatello
: I didn't. I'd NEVER abandon you guys. One minute we were all in the lair together, the next minute I woke up here. I don't know how. Michelangelo
: So, the Turtle with the big brain doesn't have all the answers. Who would have thunk it?
: Hey, Dave. Dave Beaver
: Hi, Mikey. Dire Beaver
, Dread Beaver
, Dark Beaver
: SHUT UP, DAVE!
: Hey guys? We're heading down to the store. Casey Jones
: Any requests? Michelangelo
: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I need some spicy gummy worms. Need! Casey Jones
: Yeah, he's not going to have that. April O'Neil
: That store is tiny, Mikey. It's the kind of place that has peanut butter OR jelly.
: Naps are nature's hugs!
: I'm Dave Beaver, I'm supposed to scare you! Michelangelo
: Really? Then I guess you should have left your adorable buckteeth at home, Dave! Dave Beaver
: They are adorable, aren't they?
: You think you are alone in your dreams, but no! For years we have lurked in this dream dimension, feeding the life force of humans, draining them dry and... Michelangelo
: Dudes, we're not human! Dread Beaver
: That is precisely what makes your life force delicious... Dark Beaver
: Human life force every meal for thousands of years, then one day... turtles! Dave Beaver
: I like chocolate chip cookies! Dire Beaver
, Dread Beaver
, Dark Beaver
: SHUT UP, DAVE!
: What's the matter, Mikey? Can't decide what to watch? Michelangelo
: "I need more power captain". The Turtle Cave must be set to maximum entertainment potential. Donatello
: Turtle Cave? That is so lame. Michelangelo
: What would you call our new digs? The Shellter? Donatello
: Uh, how about... Sewer of Solitude? Michelangelo
: Terrapin Station? Donatello
: The School for Gifted Reptiles? Michelangelo
: The Hall of Ninjustice! Splinter
: Ahem, we will call this place... "Home". Michelangelo
: Hmm, Catchy!
: In a press conference today at Stocktronics Incorporated, New York's leading new technology firm... Michelangelo
: Boring! Donatello
: Wait! I want to see this. Reporter
: Founder and CEO, Dr. Baxter Stockman was on hand to unveil his latest innovation. Baxter Stockman
: A wise man once said "Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door". Well, I say let the path beating begin! For I, Dr. Baxter Stockman, have designed the solution to the city's ever-growing rat problem. Ladies and gentlemen... I give you the ultimate expression of rodent extermination technology, the Stocktronics Mouser!
: We will resume your training in the morning. Michelangelo
: [imitating Splinter
] "We will resume your training in the morning." Splinter
: I heard that! Donatello
: Guys! The only way to stop them is to slice their heads off! Michelangelo
: Well, aint that great news, for the turtles with the BLADES!
: [with April in his arms
] Hey, so... can I keep her?
: [drops a bed on Rahzar
] This is for my brother!
[Shredder throws Splinter into a sewer pool
: NOOO! YOU MONSTER!
[goes into an unstoppable rage
: That's enough, Raph! ENOUGH!
: It's OK, bro. Sensei's a master ninja, he's gonna be just fine...
: Lowly insects! Do you think Kraang can be stopped? It was Kraang that found your planet millions of years ago, it was Kraang that used mutagen on the monkeys turning them into lowly humans, and it is Kraang who now transforms your world! Michelangelo
: And it will be Kraang who will be kicked in the shin!
[the Turtles bid their final farewell in the Turtle Lair
: [looks at a photo of Slash
] Wherever you are, I hope you're safe, Spike. Donatello
: [to Mutagen Man
] We'll be back, Timothy. And if we don't make it, you should defrost in about ummm... 70 years or so. Hopefully the world is a better place by then. Michelangelo
: [pulls Kitty out of the freezer
] I know this is your home. You know we have to leave, Ice Cream Kitty!
: What's gonna happen now, Raph? Raphael
: For the first time in my life I have no idea, little brother. Michelangelo
: I miss Master Splinter.
: Whoa, human Splinter! Michelangelo
: He looks so weird without fur.
: Casey's picture is fading away, like we never knew him! Time is already being altered! Michelangelo
: It's just like that movie! We're doomed, dudes! DOOMED! Raphael
: Calm down, man! We just got to make sure Tang Shen doesn't like Oroku Saki! Leonardo
: We have to convince her he's the evil jerk we all know and hate, so history stays on course!
: Some legends say when the yokai arrive, tragedy is sure to follow. Michelangelo
: Dude, these yokai sound like trouble. Raphael
: He's talking about us, genius!
: You can't leave Hamato Yoshi, he's a good man! Oroku Saki is evil! Tang Shen
: No. Saki is a good man. Donatello
: If you choose Oroku Saki, the world itself could be at risk! Take it from us, the Kappa Brothers! Tang Shen
: Yoshi is too dedicated to ninjustsu to raise a family... Michelangelo
: That's not true, Splinter loves little Miwa! She's so cute! Tang Shen
: I don't know who I'll choose. I must do what's right for my daughter. Raphael
: Follow your heart, Shen! You know who the better man is!
: [scaring ninjas
: You are not gonna believe this one! I'm in a world where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are Teenage Mutant Super Turtles! You heard me, Super Turtles! And I get to be a superhero. All right, more like a teen sidekick. But I'm beginning to get the idea that the one really bad thing about being a superhero is that you always have to fight supervillans...
: That is so great! Donny would love this. I mean, the Donny from my world. Obviously, your Donny loves it already. Which kinda brings up a question that's been bugging me: if you guys are me and my bros. in this dimension, then which one of you is me? Blobboid
: Uh, I'm pretty sure it's not me...
: Welcome, my sons. Michelangelo
: No, it can't be! Master Splinter? You guys told me he was gone! Shellectro
: No, we lost him. Lost him to evil.
: [fades away
] If they write a comic about this, make sure they call me The Turtle Titan!
: Super Turtles, count it off! GRAVI-TURTLE! Shellectro
: SHELLECTRO! Griddex
: GRIDDEX! Blobboid
: [in Dimension X
] Time passes faster here, there's a temporal differential. Michelangelo
] I love tempura!
: Mikey, you're like a genius here! Michelangelo
: Hey, in crazy-backwards land, crazy-backwards dude is King!
: So I'll be a genius there too? Donatello
: Yes, Mikey. Thank you for finding the one mildly positive thing among ten billion screaming nightmares!
: Mikey, you are a genius! Michelangelo
: Not anymore! Now I'm just back to being regular mess-everything-up Mikey... Donatello
: No way! Saving that power cell was brilliant. You did that here! Michelangelo
: Yeah, I did! Maybe I'm not such a screw-up after all!
[Splinter makes Raph take Casey to the surface
: And that's how they defeated The Thing that Wouldn't Leave!
: You didn't come all the way down here for the nickel tour. What's the 4-1-1 streetside? Casey Jones
: Graffiti. It's everywhere, all over town. Michelangelo
: And I think I speak for everyone in the room when I say, DUH! Donatello
: We're New Yorkers, Casey. We've seen graffiti before. Casey Jones
: Uh-uh, not this kind.
[Casey holds up a picture of a spear skewering four turtles
] Casey Jones
: I think someone's trying to send you a message.
: These the only DVDs you got? Michelangelo
: Yeah. In fact, why don't you borrow some and watch them at home? Casey Jones
: That's okay, I'll watch them here.
[walks over to the DVD player
] Casey Jones
: C'mon, eject, EJECT! You useless piece of...!
[smashes the machine; Mikey screams
] Casey Jones
: Whoa, think your player's broken. Donatello
: Uh, no problem... I'll fix it, in the morning! Casey Jones
: [to Donnie
] Whatcha working on? Donatello
: Uh... boring stuff! Really really boring stuff!
: We'd better find Raph quick before he brings back some seriously unwanted houseguests! Michelangelo
: [looks at Casey
] Yeah, we've already got one of those.
: Booyakasha? What does that even mean? Michelangelo
: I don't know, but it's fun to yell!
: Guys, I think I've got something! Doesn't match any authorized flight patterns... It's gotta be the Kraang ship! Michelangelo
: Or Santa!
: Nope, it's the Kraang ship. Aw, that's a bummer...
: Hey, the Stealth Bike's my thing! Michelangelo
: Now your thing is sucking it up. Donatello
: Hey, that's my thing!
: Eat feet!
: Mikey's in the hiz-ouse.
: Mikeasaurus Rex!
: Leonardo, explain to me again why we're creeping around in the dead of night instead of home in our nice, damp lair? Michelangelo
: Yeah dude. We just blasted the Technodrome into Dimension X. Leonardo
: The Technodrome may be gone, but Shredder and Krang are still loose. Donatello
: And this is the best chance we'll ever get to put those goons away for good. Raphael
: And I still say we have some vacation time coming.
: 31 minutes. For once you didn't make it on time, turtles. Donatello
: Channel 6 is still there. Raphael
: I knew he was bluffing. Shredder
: I "never" bluff.
[Channel 6 begins to explode, crumbling to the street
: ...It's not possible. Michelangelo
: April... Irma... Do you suppose they got out in time? Leonardo
: [to Shredder
] You miserable maggot! Shredder
: [to Bebop and Rocksteady
] Destroy them!
: My might is too great for you wretched, teenaged punks! Michelangelo
: [Tackling Shredder
] Cowabunga, dude!
: Thanks to you, I've lost my station! Every time that lunatic Shredder makes trouble, it's because of you freaks! Well... I'll get back on the air somehow. And from now on, I'll let the public know just what a menace you are! Michelangelo
: Man, what an ingrate. Donatello
: Do whatever you want, Burne. The real threat is Shredder! Burne Thompson
: You're the threat! You're the menace to society! You're the ones who... where'd they go?
[a manhole cover closes shut nearby
] Burne Thompson
: Those cowards! They ran away! April O'Neil
: Cowards? They've captured Berserko, didn't they? And besides, they'll be back! And no matter what you say, they'll keep on fighting to save this city from the forces of evil! Especially Shredder.
: One good thing: We haven't run into any Kraa...
[a Kraang spots April and Casey
: Oh, no! Why did I have to open my big mouth?
: The Kraang have some kind of freaking security system to make sure we don't come back! Michelangelo
: Why not just go take it down and move back in? I miss our home. I miss my comic books, my VHS tapes, my Action Kick Unicorn Man, my collection of human underwear...
: Hey, Tiger Claw, meet Sir Siz-L-Lot!
[activates a flamethrower
: We made it! Raphael
: Yeah, by the skin of our shells. Michelangelo
: So where to now? We have no home to go back to. Splinter
: Homes are transitory. What matters is that we are together. Leonardo
: But we still need a place to hang our masks, Sensei. Where are we gonna live? Donatello
: Well, there's the old power plant, or maybe an abandoned subway tunnel... Michelangelo
: Wait, I have the greatest idea ever! Raphael
: Do we really want to hear this? Michelangelo
: It's secret, fortified, and no one would ever think to look for us there!
[cut to a pizza shop
: OK, we have to be quiet. Donatello
: Do you have to say that every time? We're ninjas, we know how to be quiet.
[Donnie's T-Phone rings, loudly
: Ooh, that is embarrassing.
[a sea monster grabs the Turtle Sub... and groans amorously
: HEY! We're not that sort of sub!
: [knocks down two Kraang-droids
] That's a twofer! Thank you, and thank you...
[Raphael stabs two Kraang-droids who approach Mikey from behind
: And thank you. Raphael
: How many times have told you: no celebrating until the fight is over? Michelangelo
: How many times have I told you I assumed it was over?
: All right, Victory Dance!
[starts to dance
: MIKEY! Michelangelo
: Or maybe later...
: When are these dragon dudes gonna learn? Michelangelo
: Green beats purple every time! Raphael
: They'll all be black and blue by the time I'm done with them!
: You really wanna look like a Purple Dragon? Try getting your butt kicked by a Ninja Turtle! Michelangelo
: I'm down with that!
: [beats a Purple Dragon
] See guys, you never know what kinda fun you're gonna find on the ol' nightly training run.
: Yo Case, hows about introducing grandma to your friends? Raphael
: Forget it Mikey, we're ninjas. We stick to the shadows. Leonardo
: The unsung heroes of the urban jungle. Donatello
: The silent protectors of the way of Bushido. Michelangelo
: What kinda pie do you think it was?
[gets slapped on the head
: OW! What?
: [sees Baxter Stockman
] Who the heck is that guy?" Raphael
: I don't know, but he needs a beatdown! Leonardo
: Hold on, Raph. We don't know that he's gonna do anything wrong. He's probably on his way to... church? Raphael
: Wearing powered battle armor? What kind of church is that? Michelangelo
: A really awesome one! Leonardo
: Ugh... look, it's my call! I decide who gets a beatdown!
[Baxter tries to break into a building
: That guy needs a beatdown.
: I'm not Baxter Stockman, I am... THE BAXMAN! No, no, I am... THE SUITINATOR! AW, THAT'S TERRIBLE!... Captain... PUNCH-YOU... HARD. Why is this so difficult? Michelangelo
: I kinda liked the Suitinator.
: Excuse me, Sensei, but ninjas never had to go up against guys in armor.
[sees a painting
: Oh, I mean ninjas always had to go up against guys in armor. Raphael
: Nice save. Leonardo
: Sensei, what was their secret? Splinter
: They understood that you do not fight the armor. You fight the man inside.
: Any last words? Leonardo
: Just one: bees! Baxter Stockman
: Bees? Michelangelo
[rams a beehive into Stockman's armor
: [training his brothers
] We're not in the city anymore! You need to get used to this new environment: no buildings, no subways...
[sends Mikey into a tree
: LOTS of trees! Michelangelo
] Tell me about it.
: You guys are gonna head into the forest! I'll give you a five-minute headstart, then I hunt you down! If you can't stay hidden for at least an hour, you'll have to... clean out the chicken coop! Donatello
: No way! Michelangelo
: Not the chicken coop, man! Donatello
: It smells like cheese fossils! Michelangelo
: It's got spiders so big they're playing a banjo!
[imagines a giant spider strumming a banjo
: We can't clean that thing! Raphael
: Then get moving!
[Donnie and Mikey run into Raph
: Come on, you're not even trying to hide! Donatello
: BIGFOOT! Raphael
: Yeah, right! If you think you're going to get out of cleaning that coop by...
: [shocked, then grins
] Looks like we're gonna get some REAL training!
: How do we hide in the woods anyway? There's no doors! Donatello
: We could climb a tree. Michelangelo
: That's the first place he's gonna look! Could we burrow? Can turtles burrow in the wild? Donatello
: I don't know, I've never been in the wild before! Have you? Michelangelo
: Does New Jersey count?
: What's that? Michelangelo
: Wait a minute. You're asking a turtle who lives in a sewer to explain a cosmic event? D.E.C.A.
: Reverse polarized magnetic field closing rapidly, dude. Astronema
: Reverse polarized? Veer away.
: I brought you here. I'm Astronema. Venus De Milo
: Astronema, the Princess of Evil? Michelangelo
: And a very hot princess. Elgar
: Back in line, reptile!
Pink Space Ranger
: So the Mutant Ninja Turtles are for real. Leonardo
: Yeah. Raphael
: Hey, we even couldn't believe there were really Power Rangers either. Pretty trippy. Michelangelo
: As for me...
[kisses Ashley's hand
: I never doubted your existence for a minute Miss Yellow Ranger.
: We're leaving the Earth's orbit. And someone has lowered our defenses. Venus De Milo
: Yeah, and that someone would be us. Michelangelo
: This ship is officially a "green machine."
: Donnie, are you gonna be okay? Donatello
: Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. Leonardo
: In that case...
[Leo, Raph and Mikey start laughing at him
: You got beat up by a monkey? In front of your girlfriend? Donatello
: She's not my girlfriend! And that monkey was a vicious mutant! Leonardo
: Yeah, I'm sure he went bananas! Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He went ape! Raphael
: [sees April enter
] No more monkey puns. April O'Neil
: Are you laughing at him because he's hurt? Michelangelo
: No we're laughing at him, because he was hurt by a... monkey!
: Wow, it's like he's psychic! Donatello
: He IS psychic, shellbrain! That's what he just said! Michelangelo
: Oh, yeah I kinda tuned out when he did his whole "I'm evil, blah blah blah" thing.
: It's over, Falco! We know it was you who mutated Rockwell! Dr. Victor Falco
: I used him as a guinea pig. Michelangelo
: Well, it didn't work! you turned him into a monkey!
: I don't get it. How can one fight without thinking? Splinter
: You are extremely intelligent, Donatello, but you must learn to use the spaces between your thoughts. Observe
[attacks a headphone-wearing Mikey, who dodges everyone of his moves
: See? Michelangelo doesn't think. Michelangelo
: Thank you! Splinter
: You're welcome. Donatello
: But Mikey has more spaces between his thoughts than I do. Splinter
: Yes, that is true.
: We're gonna set a trap for this pigeon man and make sure he never bothers you again. Donatello
: And I know what we can use as bait... Michelangelo
: Bread crumbs! Pigeons eat bread crumbs! Donatello
: I meant April. Michelangelo
: You're gonna let him eat April? I thought you liked her! April O'Neil
: Donnie, hack into the system and see what you can find about the Kraang's plot. Raph, you're with me. Mikey, you stay with Donnie. Donatello
: Why do I always get stuck with Mikey? Michelangelo
: Hey! Leonardo
: I don't want him. And I'm in charge! Michelangelo
: Hey! Donatello
: Well, then, make Raph take Mikey! Raphael
: Over my dead body. Michelangelo
: You know, I'm starting to think nobody wants to be with me. Fine! I'll just go off on my own.
: Here I am, walking around in the big city, all alone! Oh, I sure hope some pigeon man doesn't come out and attack me! That would be the last thing I would want! Donatello
: What are you doing? April O'Neil
: You wanted me to be bait, I'm bait! Donatello
: That's not how bait talks! April O'Neil
: How do you know how bait talks? Donatello
: I know bait doesn't talk BACK! Leonardo
: Awwww... Michelangelo
: Oh no you didn't!
: See Don, we can have our very own Battle Shell. I've even got a name for it. I call it: "The Battle Shell"! I've got it all figured out. Turbo-boosters, double-action traction, cool secret thingies shooting out the back. We should be tricking out the armored car! Donatello
: By "we", you mean me. And I don't have the time. There's too much to do around here. Besides, where would we keep the thing? Michelangelo
: We could find a place. Just think of overhauling the wheels. Please? Please please please please? Did I mention you're my favorite turtle?
[the Turtles attempt sneaking out of the lair to stop Casey, but are caught by Master Splinter
: Ahem. Michelangelo
: Busted! Splinter
: How many times have I told you not to sneak up to the surface? Michelangelo
: This month? Donatello
: 512, actually. Splinter
: It is dangerous for you to go about openly in the world above. You cannot simply walk amongst the humans. They will not accept who and what you are. It is as the great sage and warrior Kenji Hashimura once said, "Why walk when you can ride?" Raphael
: Come again?
[Leo, Mikey, and Don arrive in the Battle Shell to back up Casey and Raph
] Casey Jones
: Friends of yours? Raphael
: Brothers, actually. Casey Jones
: I can see the family resemblance. Michelangelo
: I'm the pretty one!
: Woah, man! You're, like, telepathetic!
] ... I never understood... how... how turtles... could be so... so fast! Michelangelo
: C'mon, April! This is just the warmup! April O'Neil
: The WARMUP? For TWO HOURS? Leonardo
: That's what ninjas do! Training sometimes lasts four, five hours at a time! Awesome, right? Ha ha ha! Yeah! April O'Neil
: Ugh, are you kidding me? I'm gonna puke! How 'bout a REAL mission? Raphael
: It took fifteen years of training before Master Splinter allowed us to go on a real mission. You got a long way to go, sister. Donatello
: Not that long! A decade or two'll fly by like that! April O'Neil
: For a turtle!
: You're not... entirely human, April. That's why you have psychic powers. In fact, you are a half human, half alien... mutant. Raphael
, April O'Neil
: A MUTANT? Michelangelo
: Aw, YEAH! Welcome to the family!
: That's it? After all those adventures, he just BITES IT? What kind of anticlimate ending is that? Leonardo
: AnticlimaCTIC. Donatello
: What a bummer ending...
: Kraang will destroy for Kraang! Michelangelo
: Mikey will smash for Mikey!
: The Kraang are using the Statue of Liberty as a base! Michelangelo
: That's just evil!
: [tending to his brother
] Mikey... C'mon, bro. No... Ah, please, Mikey, say somethin'! Michelangelo
: ...I guess I'm lucky you didn't give me mouth to mouth! Raphael
: He's fine.
: Leatherhead! You okay? Leatherhead
: Michelangelo? Is it... YOU? You're all right! Michelangelo
: Sure I'm all right. Raphael
: We're a pretty thick-skinned group.
: Mikey, keep constant pressure on that bo staff. Michelangelo
: Ok. Now what? Donatello
: Now Leo, Raph, and I go get some lunch.
[Don, Leo, and Raph start walking away
[the Mighty Mutanimals, April and Splinter arrive to aid the Turtles
] April O'Neil
: So what do we do? Michelangelo
: Kick their Jurassics. COWABUNGA!
: [his mind being extracted
] Oh, yeah! So cool, look at that! It's like a triple rainbow, brah!
: Did that just happen? Leonardo
: The Earth, Splinter, everyone, everything... Donatello
: Locked forever within an event horizon singularity...
[Raphael is silent with shock
] The Fugitoid
: Watching your entire world vanish into the quantum singularity of a black hole is rather distressing... Can I offer you some hot cocoa?
[Michelangelo takes the cocoa
: Dude, who are you? The Fugitoid
: My name is Professor Zayton Honeycutt. And you, my friends, are about to embark on a wondrous adventure.
: [notices April being held hostage while wearing a handmaiden outfit that shows off her legs
] April! Raphael
: [whistles a catcall at her
] Nice outfit!
: [after being told to stop their attackers while wearing his sacred Egyptian outfit
] But I feel so silly in this outfit I could die of embarrassment! Raphael
: Would you rather die of sword poisoning? Michelangelo
: Since you put it that way, tada!
[shows the attackers his Egyptian outfit he was hiding under the jacket causing them to bow to him
: [after learning the name of the pharaoh the Egyptian's think Michelangelo is the reincarnation of
] The Sacred Turt-el?
: I don't believe it! Michelangelo
: Uh, I'm afraid you have to dude, it's too late to rewrite the script.
: Are we really in medieval times? Michelangelo
: Dude, I don't want to be stuck in the 1980s!
: Refresh my memory... was there some mention of a DRAGON?
: Sir Raphael, you would dare to face me? You would defy the great drakes of the North? Raphael
: You must be on some really crazy birdseed!
[Sir Malachi blasts Raphael
: [his head transfigured
] Yeah, give it all you got! I'm ready for you, I can take it! Donatello
: Um, Raph... you have the head of a turkey. Michelangelo
] Yeah! Gobble Gobble son! Make like a turkey do! Raphael
[sees it's true, and goes hysterical
] Sir Malachi
: That's right, you play by MY rules now! Anyone who forfeits the game next gets turned into a squirrel!
[Michelangelo is frightened of squirrels, and so freaks out
: Enough talk! Let's take them down! Michelangelo
: Leo, you're stealing Raph's line. Raphael
: Hey, I don't mind. I love it when Leo talks tough. We should get Karai to stab him more often.
: Raph needs a hiding place, don't you Raphie boy? And I got just the spot. Raphael
: Hiding spot? Don't even...! N-no way am I missin' this action!
[Donnie and Mikey put him in a closet
: Don't worry, Raph. We'll come back for you... maybe. Raphael
: Mikey! You better hope I never heal! Ow! Owww!
: We'll heal. And then we'll beat the shell outta Casey for having such a whackbag family. But you're first, Mikey! Michelangelo
: Casey? Casey? Casey, answer me! Something's wrong, Mikey, what're we gonna do? Michelangelo
: I know exactly what to do! We use our phones to triangulate the position of Casey's T-Phone by bouncing the locator signal off the satellite. Raphael
: That's... actually a good idea. It's like we're in some kind of alternate universe, or something. Michelangelo
: You can also track pizza delivery guys that way. Booyah-kasha.
: Well, Princess? You got us into this. Where to? Karai
: I... I don't know. Michelangelo
: EVERYONE STOP! I know exactly where to go! Donatello
: I feel scared...
: He's still brooding. Raphael
: He's thinking about her. About Karai. Leonardo
: Master Splinter is her father. How could she still want to be with the Shredder? Michelangelo
: You have to have faith, Leo. Her entire relationship would be a lie. It would change everything she knows. The truth will set her free. Just give her the time she needs to accept who she is! Donatello
: Right... Look, Leo, she'll come around.
: [covered in zits
] I'M A MUTANT! Leonardo
: [hearing him in another room
] Uh, he's just realizing that now?
: I'm covered in turtles zits! Raphael
: Talk about shellacne! Leonardo
: Don't worry, Mikey. It's just part of being a teenager. Michelangelo
: Have you ever had 'em? Leonardo
: HECK no!
: Antidote is ready. Michelangelo
: Give me, give me, give me.
[Rubs antidote on his body
: Donnie, did you really have to put the antidote on those acne pads? Donatello
: No, but it is hilarious. Michelangelo
: Hey, guys, look at me. I am super cute again. Wow! Thanks Donnie. Donatello
: Mikey, there's a zit forming on the end of your nose. Michelangelo
: No! Why?
[Looks at himself as the others laughed
: Donnie, I'm going to... ahhh!
] Mondo Gecko
: So, Mikey, can I say "Booyakasha" sometimes? Michelangelo
: As long as I can say "Cowabunga" once in a while... like right now. Mondo Gecko
: [gets insulted
] Hey, I'm smart! I'm just a party dude!
] Mondo Gecko
: Cowabunga! Michelangelo
: Booyakasha! Casey Jones
: [watching football on TV
] Panthers, Rams, Bears. They even got Dolphins. Think they'd have room for something a little more... reptilian. Donatello
: The Turtles? My friend, unfortunately the lowly turtle has been saddled by society with a stereotype of being velocity challenged.
: Say what? Michelangelo
: [steps in front of the TV
] May I have your attention please!
[lets out a long belch
[applaud for Mikey
] April O'Neil
: Ewww! Splinter
: [to April
] This is what I live with ALL THE TIME.
: Scrambled's okay with everybody, right? Raphael
, April O'Neil
: Oh man, I slept on my hand, and it got numb and hit my face and I thought somebody slapped me. Don't ya hate that?
: Words fail me.
: Now we can relax, catch some boob-tube, and forget about all of that weirdness we went through. Splinter
: For now, but I fear we have not seen the last of the Shredder or Krang. Donatello
: You're worrying too much master. Michelangelo
: Yeah, I bet we never even hear as much as a peep out of them again. TV Announcer
: Stay tuned for tonight's Sci-Fi Chiller thriller killer Movie. It's a real classic, "The Evil Brain From Dimension X."
: Now, wretched reptiles, you will face the wrath of Krang! Michelangelo
: Wasn't that the name of a movie?
[the Turtles are caught on TV during a battle with Muckman
: How could you all be so careless? Secrecy is the most important rule of a ninja! And you have broken it! You four are forbidden from leaving the lair! Raphael
: What? You can't hold that sloppy escape against us, we got slimed with toxic puke! Splinter
: Silence! Donatello
: But Sensei, if that pile of muck took us down, you know he's dangerous... Leonardo
: Which means we need to be out there looking for him! Splinter
: No! Until I decide I can watch you to trust yourselves, you will remain here, GROUNDED! Raphael
: Awww! Michelangelo
: [crawls towards the TV
] Oh, yeah... Crognard marathon... Splinter
: And no TV!
[smashes the TV
: There's only one cure for Muckman fever: Crognard...
[Splinter appears and takes away Mikey's stuff
: See, Sensei? We're all cool! Donatello
: Everything's back to normal, nothing to worry about! Michelangelo
: So that means we can watch Crognard again, right? Splinter
: No! You are still grounded!
[knocks out the Turtles
: [noticing April arriving at the lair wearing a yellow ball gown, high heels, dimond earrings, a jeweled necklace, makeup, and her hair styled differently
] Wow!, talk about embraceable! Who is that? April O'Neil
: Hi guys, it's me. Donatello
: Gosh April you look just like a... a girl! Leonardo
: You look lovely! Michelangelo
: Truly tubuloso! Raphael
: Yeah, you clean up real good! Splinter
: [also enamored
] April, you make this ancient rodent feel young again April O'Neil
: Thanks guys! You're just a bunch of big green sweeties, and you're the nicest rodent I know! And now I'm off to the Malcurian Embassy to cover a fancy party!
: [as April leaves for the party
] I think we should keep an eye on her! Donatello
: Better yet, two! Michelangelo
: Mondo notion dude! Raphael
: Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!
[they all run for the exit and fight over who gets out first
: [interested in what Splinter is eating
] Whoa what is that sensei? Splinter
: It is called tekka maki, raw tuna roll, have some Michelangelo
[offers it to Michelangelo
] Whoa major gross out, no thanks! Splinter
: A wise person embraces as many new experiences as possible Leonardo
: [offers him some of their pizza
] Master Splinter perhaps you would like to try some pizza?, it's marshmallow and pepperoni Splinter
] Uh, the wise person also realizes some experiences are less embraceable than others
: What now boss?
: I can't believe he's gone! Donatello
: It's okay, Mikey. Leo, well, he just needs some space... You meant the pizza guy, didn't you? Michelangelo
: This is YOUR fault, Leo! If you hadn't called Splinter, we wouldn't be in this mess! Leonardo
: I didn't have a choice, Raph. It was him or Mikey. I thought... I thought Sensei would take care of him... Raphael
: Well, you thought wrong! Michelangelo
: We know where they took him... Shredder's lair. We do this for SPLINTER. There comes a time, brothers, when history is forged like... melted cheese. It sticks together as... one! But is still soft and squishy in the middle. ARE YOU WITH ME? Raphael
: Lamest speech ever... But I'm with you. Leonardo
: Let's do this!
[Kraathatrogon Worm warps into the 1987 TMNT dimension
] 80's Leonardo
: Hey, do you guys see that? 80's Michelangelo
: Woah dudes, a giant freaky worm! Totally mondo-bizarro! 80's Donatello
: I bet that pesky Shredder and Krang are behind this! 80's Raphael
: You know what that means, right Leonardo? 80's Leonardo
: We take down the creepy crawler, and then we order pizza! 80's Donatello
: Yes! Turtle power! 80's Michelangelo
: That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. Raphael
: Just this once, I totally agree with you Garbageman
: Greetings Filth!
: It's garbage day, fat man. Time to take your can out to the curb! Garbageman
: What? Michelangelo
: Uh, how about... time to dump you in the dumpster, smelly boy! Garbageman
: You! Shut up!
: [fighting Donatello
] Now I know how a piñata feels! And I don't like it!
: It's just a scratch Sensei, you should see the other guy.
: You are looking good, Rahzar! You lost some weight?
[Rahzar charges and scratches Mikey's left arm
: TO... KKA...!
[an alien trucker makes amorous advances on Michelangelo, who is dressed as a female alien
: You couldn't possibly hit a lady, but you know... a lady could hit you!
[knocks out the trucker
: Uh, leave the shiny button alone, Mikey! Michelangelo
: But it might be something really good!
: Or not! AHHHHHHHHHH!
: I've always kinda thought my brothers and I were magnets for trouble. And I'm right, we are. But we're nothing compared to superheroes. Take the Justice Force. They can't lift a finger without trouble finding them. They... need a new member or two. Simple enough, right? Put an ad in super hero weekly, hang a "help wanted" sign outside your impenetrable fortress of super-dudes... and score some new teammates. Easy! Sorry, true believer. Nothing's easy when you're a super hero. The Justice Force's membership drive just went to shell. The only question is... am I gonna survive long enough to submit my application?
: What's the matter, Mikey? Didn't make the cut? Michelangelo
: In your dreams, you wanna-be! The Turtle Titan is now an official member of the Justice Force! Of course, I'm only on duty on the 3rd of every Wednesday on every 4th month, and February 29th when there is one...
: Not only did Raphael alert the Kraang, but you got caught on VIDEO! Raphael
: Sensei, he was the angriest, nastiest guy you ever met! Michelangelo
: Except for you!
[Raph wallops Mikey
: You should have heard the insults this guy was throwing at us! They were so... insulting! Splinter
: Oh, I did not realize he said mean things. Of course, you had no choice but to jeopardize your mission! Michelangelo
[Vic mutates into a spider beast
: Don't worry, the four of us can handle him! Donatello
: Okay, this might be a bad time to point this out... but you sent one of the four of us home. Michelangelo
: And right now, I wish it was me!
: Booyakasha! Michelangelo
: Sounds weird when he says it. Raphael
: It sounds weird when YOU say it.
: Guys, we gotta do something. The Kraang are gonna poison the city's water supply with mutagen! Leonardo
: The whole city will become a disaster area! Donatello
: There would mutants everywhere! Michelangelo
: Wow! Think of all the friends we'd make!
[everyone stares at Mikey
: Excuse me for being a "glass-half-full" kind of guy!
: [after Zach is taken by Screwloose cutting him off the phone
] Hello Zack? Something's happened to him! Michelangelo
: It sounded like somebody cut him off Donatello
: Maybe it's for this time Raphael
] Yeah and I'm the tooth fairy
: [under the effects of the mind control machine
] I feel... my mind... emptying out... completely Donatello
: What mind?
: Kraang will not stopped by pathetic mutants! Michelangelo
: At least we're not stupid aliens!
: Everybody, Who saved the world? Raphael
, Kirby O'Neil
: MIKEY! Michelangelo
: WE SAVED THE WORLD! Michelangelo
: Oh, I can't believe I lost my bike! Michelangelo
: Look on the bright side, Raph. You may have lost the Shell Cycle, but Donny here gain a shiny new train car. Donatello
: Can I keep it, Leo? Leonardo
: If you can figure out a way to get it home...
: You know Bishop, you got to be about the only guy I hate more than Hun! Michelangelo
: And that's saying a lot! Raphael
: [flips Hun over
] And you owe me a new bike fatso!
: You may call me... Tiger Claw! Michelangelo
: I KNEW IT! I was totally going to name him Tiger Claw!
[sees their 1987 counterparts
: It's us! Why do we look like dorks? Raphael
: Is that supposed to be April? Donatello
: Nice jumpsuit...
: Yeah. Which suits my agenda just fine.
: And one for all! Ha ha ha!
: [after beating the Purple Dragons
] Well, that was easier then expected. Raphael
: I hope there are more of those guys. I'm just getting warmed up. Michelangelo
: [Notices the Foot arriving
] Uh, well, looks like you got your wish, Raphy-boy. Leonardo
: Are those guys... ninjas? Michelangelo
: Well, they're certainly ninja-esq.
[Raph pushes Mikey down a hole
: Not funny, Raph! Raphael
: Oh, yes it is.
[the Turtles arrive at the beach, and a tidal wave appears
: What is it? A tidal wave? Donatello
: No, it's uh...
[the Technodrome appears and rolls toward urban Manhattan
: ... the Technodrome! Leonardo
: Krang used that powercell to re-energize the entire Techndrome. Michelangelo
: Man, That thing will roll over the city if we don't stop it! Raphael
: Relax you guys, we should know the drill by now. Michelangelo
: We break into the Technodrome. Fight our way past the Foot Soldiers. Disconnect the power device and escape with it.
: Well, compadres, they got away again. Donatello
: Yeah, but without the Technodrome, we won't have to worry about them. Leonardo
: I don't know, Donatello. Splinter
: They still have Krang's know-how and Shredder's cunning and Bebop and Rocksteady's strength. I'm certain we'll be hearing from them again... soon.
: Welcome contestants! I'm so glad you could join us tonight... Leonardo
: Blister Stockboy? Baxter Stockman
: It's Baxter Stockman! I'm your arch nemesis! Michelangelo
: I could totally think of five nemeses way archer than him. Baxter Stockman
: You'll be playing for the ultimate prize: your lives! In the all new family-friendly, incredibly deadly maze of doom!
: The truce... is over... Dogpound
: Let's finish... this...
[the Turtles get out their weapons
[yawns and dozes
] Aw, forget it... Next time...
: Time for Turflytle to take out his arch nemesis, Wingnut. Donatello
: You are NOT giving Mr. O'Neil a monster name!
: I can't think... I can't think... I'm seriously stressing here! Ok... Think calm thoughts... Think calm thoughts... Michelangelo
: You think he's a vampire? You think he'll drink her blood and turn her into the undead? Donatello
: Are you TRYING to freak me out?
: It's like a vending machine... from the future. Donatello
: A Kraang computer! Mikey, you're a genius! Michelangelo
: That's how I roll!
: Great, Donnie! Great! Not only did we lose the Kraang, but Metalhead blew up our only clue to where they went! Michelangelo
: Even worse, he blew up my super macho burrito!
: You guys wanna speed it up a little? Donatello
: Are you saying turtles are slow? Michelangelo
: That's a hurtful stereotype! Leonardo
: Trust us, April, we are better off keeping a low profile. We find people treat us better when they don't know we exist. April O'Neil
: Sorry, I'm just so excited to get you out of the sewer for a change. Raphael
: What are you talking about? We go out all the time! April O'Neil
: Yeah, but tonight your gonna do something besides hitting people. Raphael
] Awww... April O'Neil
: Don't worry. You're gonna love this noodle place I found. Donatello
: And you're sure we'll be welcome? April O'Neil
: Oh yeah. Mr. Murakami doesn't care what people look like. In fact, he won't even know what you look like. He's blind! Michelangelo
: Awesome! For us, I mean.
: Those guys only understand one language! Michelangelo
: Chinese? Raphael
: No, fists! Michelangelo
: How about feet? Raphael
: Uh, they understand feet... Donatello
: That would make them bilingual.
: We should become super heroes! Donatello
: [raises brow
] Exsqueeze me? Michelangelo
: Yeah, yeah! Go out on nightly patrols, thwart crimes, help the helpless, rescue the... rescueless! Donatello
: I think you've got your mask on too tight, Mikey, the oxygen's not making it to your brain. Michelangelo
: Don't you get it? We'd have secret identities to protect ourselves. We could work out in the open. Leonardo
: Reading way too many comic books, Mikey.
: I'm a Turtle, not a titan.
[the Nanobot is crushed into a square cube
: Yowch, looks like that did it. Michelangelo
: Yeah, he's flat broke.
[the Nanobot begins rebuilding itself
: You know, I'm gonna stop with the puns. Seriously, they always come back to bite you!
: You know... I feel kinda bad for the little bot. Raphael
: Little? Michelangelo
: You know, he was kinda like a little kid. Donatello
: Too bad he had such a rotten parent.
: [on his newest invention
] It's my new Shell-Former: a triple-changing vehicle that can fly, roll on treads, and even transform into a Turtle-bot! Michelangelo
: A Turtle robot that transforms! Dude, DUDE, DUUDDDE! I wanna see it transform, TSCHE-CHU-CHU-CHU-TSCHE!
[the Turtles and Bebop and Rocksteady appear in the future
: [sees a giant statue of Shredder
] You gotta be kidding me! Raphael
: A giant statue of Shredder in the future can't be a good thing! Donatello
: So, how about we check the place out, just for ten minutes or so?
[Raph grins and spins his sais
: [thumbs up
] Woohoo! Rocksteady
: Da! Da! Leonardo
] Not again...
: Woah! That thing is AWESOME! In an evil kinda way...
: I SO want plasma-chucks! Donnie, could you help a turtle out?
: What is going on here? Donatello
: Fungus! Michelangelo
: Language, please! There's a lady present.
: [stomps mushrooms
] Check it out! Super Mikey Brothers!
: 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town / Turtle Santa drove like crazy to not let the kids down. / Instead of a sleigh, a truck full of toys, / destined to be the presents for good girls and boys. / But evil thieves wanted to steal the toys at all costs. / Poor, poor Turtle Santa, all hope was lost...
: Great! I finally ditch those Purple Dragon Bozos and I end up on "The World's Scariest Police Chases!"
: [after Mondo Gecko saves him from being killed in a truck crash and letting him out of the net he was in
] Well thanks dude, but how come you saved me? Mondo Gecko
: I don't know something weird came over me Michelangelo
: Woah, and all this time I thought you were a bad guy Mondo Gecko
: Oh, that's right I am!
[points his laser gun at him
] Mondo Gecko
: thanks for reminding me, now march!
[leads him to his boss's hideout
: [with his hands in the air
] I had to open my big mouth!
: [as he's in an out of control truck tied in a net
] Any minute now my entire life should flash before my eyes... I just hope there's a cartoon in it.
: Hey, what am I? Fish food? Michelangelo
: Where'd she come from? Raphael
: Oh, you guys missed the flashback, I'll tell you about it later...
: Isn't it nice to see an old friend? Donatello
: Yeah, Mona Lisa looks great. Michelangelo
: Mona Lisa? No, I'm talking about the pizza!
[the 2014 Turtles observe their alternate selves from other TV shows and comics
: Hey, bros, is it just me, or do all those Turtles look better than us?
: I'd say so. Leonardo
: Yeah, they look pretty awesome. Michelangelo
: Totally see it. Raphael
: I think it's debatable...
: COWAB... Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. The Amazing Spider-Man? Spider-Man
: Hey, fellas. Michelangelo
: Dude, what're you doing here, brah? Spider-Man
: Well, the toxin's about to be released at the top of this tower, I have to stop it before it poisons New York City! Raphael
: Uh, no. That's pretty much what WE're doing. Donatello
: I think you want that tower over there.
[points at another tower
] The Lizard
: Hello, poor Peter Parker!
: [at match's start
] Last chance to be friends, dude!
: ASTEROIDS! Michelangelo
: Language, Donnie!
[Splinter educates the Turtles on turtle sexuality
: Do I perform my mating dance before or after I sniff April's cloaca to dee if she's fertile? Michelangelo
: Aw, I already called dibs on April's cloaca! Leonardo
: Hey, I called dibs on her cloaca WAY before you called dibs on her cloaca! Splinter
: [smacks his sons
] You are turtles! April is human! Your genitalia are not compatible!
[Fugitoid takes his ship on a kamikaze attack at the Triceratons
: Don't do it, Fugitoid! The Fugitoid
: It had to be this way, my friends. Had you known my true intent, you would surely have tried to stop me... and for that, I thank you.
: Ah! Forgot the sun screen.
: Hey, that comic is in mint... near mint condition! Don't mess it up! Raphael
: Great, another horror story. Guess who's gonna be up all night again? Michelangelo
: What? No. I was up all night because I was... polishing my grappling hook.
: Turtles fight with honor! Irma Langinstein
: And women fight with handbags!
: April we found the stolen jewels the police were looking for Raphael
: We thought you should turn them in there's a big reward Leonardo
: [hands her the chest
] You can build your place again April O'Neil
: But guys we should share the reward Michelangelo
: Sharing is good!
[Raphael hits him
: Will you knock it off! Michelangelo
: What? April O'Neil
: Thanks guys Donatello
: Guess if you get your place back we won't be seeing you so much anymore April O'Neil
: [kisses him
] Of course you will guys
] April O'Neil
: we're family
: Look, I'm Leo! Guys, shh! We have to be quiet. Ninjas are quiet. Quiet down. Leonardo
: I sound nothing like that! Raphael
: Yes, that's why we're laughing because you sound nothing like that.
: [looking for April and Vernon
] Where are they? Michelangelo
: Well, like, maybe we beat them down? Raphael
: Right. What do you think this is, a cartoon?
: What the shell? Donatello
: Mikey! Raph! You're young! And alive! And Mikey, you have both arms! Michelangelo
: Good to see you too Donnie, I think...
: [Coming out of a theater
] Woah was "Attack of the Mutant Stenographers" awesome or what? Raphael
: No question about it, it was awesomely... terrible! Donatello
: Yeah the worst! Michelangelo
: Well don't have a cow man! Raphael
: Uh, wrong show!
: I thought I had my anger under control. Turns out, I didn't. But now, I do. Seriously! Michelangelo
: He means 'for now'. I'll give him ten more seconds... Nine... Eight... Sevan... Leonardo
: What are you saying, Raph? It's not that you ARE angry, but we MAKE you angry? Raphael
: I never said that! Michelangelo
: Three... Two... One... Raphael
: SHUT UP! Michelangelo
: Bing bing bing! We have a winner!
: Whatcha talking about, Willis?
: You guys are such groove daddy-os! Michelangelo
: Aw, snap!
: What is that? Michelangelo
: Smells like a butt sandwich.
: Whoa, my fellow cybernauts. We are bravely going where no turtles have gone before: the digital world! Cyberspace! Raphael
: No turtles have EVER done any of the things we do. Michelangelo
: OK, here's the plan: Donnie, you're gonna strike first. Donatello
: No, wait, you want ME to come at Splinter? I'll get pummeled! Raphael
: Well, getting pummeled is your specialty. Leonardo
: Trust me, it's all in my plan to catch Splinter off guard. Michelangelo
: Don't take this the wrong way, Leo, but against Splinter, your plans always get our butts whipped. Leonardo
: OK, new thought: Mikey, you attack! Michelangelo
: He took it the wrong way...
: Dude, Fishface is a little sensitive. Leonardo
: You're calling him "Fishface"? Michelangelo
: Well, it was either that or "Robocarp".
: Sweet ninja skills, Napoleon! Napoleon Bonafrog
: I learnt them from the second best warrior I know!
: [administering the spray to turn the human Michelangelo back into a turtle
] Hold still while I spray you with the antidote Michelangelo
: [sees his human hands turn back into his turtle hands
] Fantabuloso I'm changing back! Donatello
: Only this time it's permanent Michelangelo
: [completes his transformation
] Alright I'm yours truly again! Raphael
: [shaking his hand
] Hey Michelangelo how you doing buddy? April O'Neil
: Turtle or human I still think you're the greatest!
[kisses him leaving a lipstick mark on his cheek and causing him to blush
] Careful April you might turn him human again Michelangelo
: No way dude I'm packing shell, being human is totally bogus!
: Well, I suppose this is goodbye. Splinter
: Cody-san, thank you for your hospitality. Though this may be goodbye, we have forged a bound that will stand the tests of time. Past, present, and future. Remember your teachings, little ninja. Raphael
: Well, guess this is it. Cody Jones
: Take care, guys. I won't ever forget you. Donatello
: And we won't forget you, Cody. Michelangelo
: Thanks for everything. Leonardo
: Remember the ninja code. Raphael
: Gonna miss ya, kid. Cody Jones
: So long.
: Oh no! Our food ruined. Roaches, moldy pepperoni and something furry.
: I might regret that tomorrow, but today is totally worth it.
: I met Megan Fox on that rooftop, yo!
[at a bingo game
: Cowabingo, dude!
: Where is Leonardo? Raphael
: He ain't here. Michelangelo
: You know, you juuust missed him! But if you leave right now, we'll let him know that you stopped by!
: [threatens Snake
] Now you could turn out handsome like me, or you could turn out disgusting and deformed like Mikey here! Michelangelo
: No, genius. What happens when two teenagers who like each other go out into the woods alone? Michelangelo
: [points flashlight at two squirrels, squirrels face forward
] Gah! They get eaten by squirrels!
[the Warners are "helping" Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling
: It's supposed to look like THIS!
[unfurls a draft of the ceiling artwork
] Dot Warner
] More naked people! Yakko Warner
: Hey, Mike, I wouldn't go flashing that thing around here if I were you.
] Yakko Warner
: This is a church.
: Donny's always telling me how great science is, how awesome technology can be and granted some of its pretty good. Like video games and microwave popcorn, that's very cool. But I've also seen a lot of old horror movies. You know the kind. Where some completely whacked out mad scientist decides to play God. Crazos like Agent Bishop here. They take the potential of science and they twist it and contort it and push it way too far and innocent people always wind up getting hurt.
: Who are you? Agent Bishop
: Well, Donatello, I'm the man the government realise upon for certain projects. The kind of projects that rather not dirty their own hands with. Raphael
: Hey, how do you know Donny's name and the Professor? Agent Bishop
: I know all your names, Raphael. And much, much, more. Leonardo
: And yet we know nothing about you, not even your name. Michelangelo
: How rude is that! Agent Bishop
: Very well, Michelangelo, when you scream my name, pleading to make the pain stop, begging for mercy, you may call me Bishop.
: [Tempestra has flooded the sewer, trapping Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo in the lair
] Dude, we're aquatic creatures, remember? How come we need a diving bell? Donatello
: Because even a turtle can't stand 3000 pounds of pressure per square inch.
: Don't worry, April, I'm a ninja, piece of cake. Michelangelo
: There's cake? I love cake!