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Quotes for
Link Hogthrob (Character)
from "The Muppet Show" (1976)

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The Muppets Go to the Movies (1981) (TV)
Scooter (as Porthos): The Villain has dropped something--perhaps it is a clue!
Link Hogthrob (as Gummo): It is a crumpet.
Scooter (as Porthos): A pumpernickel crumpet!
The Great Gonzo (as Athos): [fighting the bandit] A pumpernickel crumpet?
Link Hogthrob (as Gummo): A crumpernickel pumpet?
Scooter (as Porthos): And furthermore, it has lumps all over it.
The Great Gonzo (as Athos): A lumpy pumpernickel crumpet?
Link Hogthrob (as Gummo): A crumpy lumpernickel pumpet?
Scooter (as Porthos): And in all of France, there is but one bakery which makes such a delicacy!
The Great Gonzo (as Athos): And that bakery is?
Scooter (as Porthos): Humperdinck's!
The Great Gonzo (as Athos): A Humperdinck's lumpy pumpernickel crumpet?
Link Hogthrob (as Gummo): A crumperdinck's lumpy humple-crumple...pumplehumple...can we just get on with the story?
Scooter (as Porthos): And who is the man who loves Humperdinck's lumpy pumpernickel crumpets beyond all things?
Link Hogthrob (as Gummo), The Great Gonzo (as Athos): We don't know, who?
Scooter (as Porthos): That simplewimp the Scarlet Pimpernel!
The Great Gonzo (as Athos), Scooter (as Porthos): Egads! It's that simplewimp Pimpernel and his Humperdinck's lumpy pumpernickel crumpets!
[to audience]
The Great Gonzo (as Athos), Scooter (as Porthos): Ta da!

[Backstage; Link comes hurtling through the air and lands on top of Miss Piggy. She untangles herself and stands up, furious]
Miss Piggy: Do you know what you just did?
Link Hogthrob: Yes, I flew through the air with the greatest of ease. The audience loved it. They wanted an encore.
Miss Piggy: Well, let us not disappoint them.
[karate chopping him]
Miss Piggy: HIYA!

Link Hogthrob (as Gummo): Egad, it's that simple wimp Pimpernel and lumpy gumpel shlumpel dumpel... can we just get on with the story?
Scooter (as Porthos): Good idea! For there, the dreaded Scarlet Pimpernel is making his escape!
The Great Gonzo (as Athos): Yoinks, Porthos! Thou art correct! Gummo, swing down on yond chandelier and capture yond Pimpernel!
Link Hogthrob (as Gummo): Why me? I'm not the strong one.
Scooter (as Porthos): No, you're the STUPID one!

The Muppets (2011)
Sam Eagle: Hello.
Rowlf: Hello.
Link Hogthrob: Hello.
Beaker: Mee-Meep.
[sees an ax in his own hands, freaks out a bit while getting rid of it to grab a hairdryer]
Beaker: Mee-Meep.
Rowlf, Sam Eagle, Link Hogthrob, Beaker: Hello.

"The Muppet Show: The Stars of Star Wars (#4.17)" (1980)
Capt. Link Hogthrob: [to Luke] Who's your tailor? I love that outfit!

"The Muppet Show: Jaye P. Morgan (#2.18)" (1978)
Link Hogthrob: First Mate Piggy, I need your help.
Miss Piggy: Yes! A real assignment, yes, yes!
Link Hogthrob: We are losing altitude...
[Miss Piggy gasps]
Link Hogthrob: ... and we must lighten the weight of the rocket by throwing something overboard.
Miss Piggy: Oh, and you want me to help you decide what.
Link Hogthrob: No.
Miss Piggy: Huh?
Link Hogthrob: We've already decided what.
Miss Piggy: What?
[Link suddenly becomes nervous, unable to speak; Piggy looks at him closely and suddenly becomes enraged]
[quivers with rage]
Link Hogthrob: No hard feelings, I hope, Miss Piggy?
Miss Piggy: [yelling] NO HARD FEELINGS? WHY YOU...
[Link suddenly opens a trap door under Piggy, who falls through; he then looks down at it as Piggy suddenly pops up behind him through another trap door]
Link Hogthrob: Au revoir, fatso!
Miss Piggy: [taps Link on the shoulder to get his attention] Fatso this! HI-YA!
[karate chops him, knocks him down and then stomps on him]

"The Muppet Show: Joan Baez (#5.3)" (1980)
[Rizzo wants to be on the "Pigs In Space" sketch]
Link Hogthrob: Listen, rat, you could never be in the crew of "Pigs In Space".
Rizzo the Rat: Why not?
Link Hogthrob: Well, you're... you're too short.
Miss Piggy: [in Link's ear] Why didn't you just say he wasn't a pig?
Link Hogthrob: Well, I didn't wanna hurt his feelings.
Rizzo the Rat: Okay, wait a minute, you guys. I can do anything that a pig can do.
Link Hogthrob: Oh yeah?
Miss Piggy: Oh?
Rizzo the Rat: Sure, I can say "oink, oink," I can wallow in the mud...
Miss Piggy: What?
Rizzo the Rat: ...I can eat garbage.
Miss Piggy: Hold it, hold it!
Rizzo the Rat: What?
Miss Piggy: You just blew it, shorty!
[Piggy kicks Rizzo away]

"The Muppet Show: Harry Belafonte (#3.14)" (1979)
Miss Piggy: [in Miss Piggy's body] Wha - ? But this is terrible, I can't live my life being you.
Link Hogthrob: [in Link's body] You think you've got troubles!
Miss Piggy: I can't captain the Swinetrek looking like this, though I am kind of cute.
Link Hogthrob: Hey, don't you dare touch you!