Dr. Teeth
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Quotes for
Dr. Teeth (Character)
from "The Muppet Show" (1976)

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The Muppet Movie (1979)
Dr. Teeth: [after the Electric Mayhem paint the Studebaker] Doc Hopper will never recognize you now.
Fozzie: I don't know how to thank you guys.
Kermit: I don't know *why* to thank you guys.

[Animal roars and scares Kermit and Fozzie]
Floyd Pepper: Oh, yeah, that's Animal. Show 'em what you do, Animal.
Animal: I want to - eat drums!
[chews on a cymbal]
Dr. Teeth: No, no. Beat drums, beat drums!
Animal: [stops chewing] Beat drums! Beat drums!
[Starts beating his head against that same cymbal]
Floyd Pepper: Down, Animal!
Animal: DOWN!
Floyd Pepper: Back!
Animal: BACK!
Floyd Pepper: Sit!
Animal: SIT!

Dr. Teeth: [reading the screenplay] "Interior. Church. Day. Fozzie: 'They don't look like Presbyterians to me.'"

Dr. Teeth: [to Crazy Harry] You know, I hear this movie's dynamite.
[Crazy Harry blows up a chair]

Dr. Teeth: [on reading "The Muppet Movie" sceenplay] This is a narrative of very heavy-duty proportions.

Dr. Teeth: It's the man with the badge, the PO-lice, the cops, the fuzz, the P-I-...
Miss Piggy: Don't you dare!
Dr. Teeth: I wouldn't think of it.

Dr. Teeth: Golden teeth and golden tones, welcome to my presence.

Dr. Teeth: Too true. Too true. It is indeed a problem for us to 'probosculate' upon. But it seems to me the frog and the bear are temporarily out of service.

Floyd Pepper: Yeah, the road manager. We couldn't go anywhere without him.
Fozzie: He's the man with the contacts?
Dr. Teeth: No, he's the man with the van.

Kermit: Did we do something wrong, Officer?
All Muppets: [Shocked when it reveals that the police officer is Max]
Kermit: Okay, Guys! Let him explain the violation issue.
Max: This whole disguise is only so that I can warn you!
Fozzie: Okay, Sure, Sure.
Max: I never thought Doc was going to hurt Kermit, I thought he was going to lean on him. But now he has hired a frog killer in from the coast, And the man is DEADLY!
All Muppets: [Everybody gets shocked about the frog killer]
Kermit: Hey Dr. Teeth, What's up ahead?
Dr. Teeth: Well, Just an old ghost town.
Kermit: Okay.
[to Max]
Kermit: You tell Doc Hopper. I'll wait for him there.
Max: What?
Fozzie: [as everybody get scared and concerned] You could killed, Kermit.
Kermit: Listen you guys, I can't spend my whole life running away from bullies, It's time for a showdown.

"The Muppet Show: Buddy Rich (#5.22)" (1981)
[Buddy Rich runs into Dr. Teeth, leading Animal on a chain leash. Rich and Animal have agreed to a drum battle]
Buddy Rich: He looks like a sore loser.
Dr. Teeth: Yeah, well, if this chain breaks, you're gonna be a sore winner. Animal... are you ready?
Animal: [waking up and seeing Buddy] Kill! Kill!
Buddy Rich: Yup, he's ready!

"The Muppet Show: Connie Stevens (#1.2)" (1977)
Dr. Teeth: I see they're finally starting to class this place up.
Mildred: How do you mean?
Dr. Teeth: They're making the rats wear neckties.

"The Muppet Show: Valerie Harper (#1.20)" (1976)
Mildred: [dancing with Dr. Teeth] Do you think honesty is the best policy?
Dr. Teeth: Oh, positively!
Mildred: Well, you are a terrible dancer!
Dr. Teeth: Another crack like that and your best policy will be an INSURANCE policy!

"The Muppet Show: Rudolf Nureyev (#2.13)" (1978)
Dr. Teeth: Hey. What's this bummer called again?
Floyd: Minuet in G Major.
Dr. Teeth: Huh. They ought to send it back to the minors.

The Great Muppet Caper (1981)
Fozzie: [going over a checklist] Wax lips?
Zoot: Aw man, I just had 'em.
Dr. Teeth: Did you leave 'em in your other pants?
Zoot: I don't have no other pants.
Fozzie: [going back to the checklist] Yo-yo?
Janice: Fer sure.

"The Muppet Show: Don Knotts (#2.1)" (1977)
Sgt. Floyd Pepper: What in the pluperfect past tense was that?
Don Knotts: Lullaby of Birdland, man!
Dr. Teeth: Oh yeah? Well, it sounds like the bird died.

A Muppet Family Christmas (1987) (TV)
Doc: Careful, Sprocket. These may be from some foreign planet.
Emily 'Ma' Bear: Actually, they're from television. I recognize Fozzie's weirdo friends.
Dr. Teeth: Yeah, and we're proud of it, too!
Sam the Eagle: Why am I here?

The Muppets' Wizard of Oz (2005) (TV)
Dr. Teeth: [plays a great keyboard solo] Nap time!
Animal: [drumming away] NAP TIME!