Yosemite Sam
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Quotes for
Yosemite Sam (Character)
from Hare Trigger (1945)

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Bugs Bunny's Christmas Carol (1979) (TV)
[Bugs kisses Scrooge]
Yosemite Sam: [very angry] Ooh! I hates Christmas! And I hates mistletoe! And I hates kissing!
[pushes Bugs towards the door]
Yosemite Sam: And I say "Bah humbug!" to the whole thing!
Bugs Bunny: But where's ya Christmas spirit?

[getting into bed]
Yosemite Sam: I'm a-gonna sleep all through Christmas. That way I won't hurt my eyes lookin' at all them ugly decorations.
[seconds later, Bugs Bunny and his band are heard outside singing "Deck The Halls"]
Yosemite Sam: [very annoyed] Oh! OH!

Yosemite Sam: [pouring hot water into a small tub] Nothing like a good hot bath to make ya sleep.
[Scrooge walks out of the room, Bugs opens a nearby window and touches the water]
Bugs Bunny: Ooh, that's far too hot for the little miser. He's liable to boil his money built!
[Bugs laughs and shovels snow through the open window into the tub]
Bugs Bunny: This oughta cool off everything but his temper.
[Scrooge throws off his top and jumps into the tub - only to almost instantly jump out 'wearing' a round block of ice]
Yosemite Sam: YEEOW! Ooh!

Yosemite Sam: [sees Crachit warming himself] So stealin' coal, eh?
[walks into Crachit's workroom]
Yosemite Sam: Well I'm takin' it back, see?
[Scrooge takes the large piece of coal out of Crachit's stove with his bear hand - resulting in him dropping it because its so hot]
Yosemite Sam: [dropping the coal] YEEOW!
[Scrooge blows on his hand]
Yosemite Sam: [angry] Pesky coal resuller!
[picks up the coal with the pair of tongs, runs back into his own room, throws it in his fireplace and rubs his hands]
Bugs Bunny: [opens the door and enters with his band] Merry Christmas!
[they starting singing "Deck The Halls"]

[Bugs is disguised as a ghost, picking up and dropping chains in the corridor outside Scrooge's bedroom]
Yosemite Sam: [gets out of bed a runs towards the door] WHAT IN SAM HILLS IS GOING ON?
[Scrooge opens the door and Bugs stops dropping the chains. Scrooge doesn't see him]
Yosemite Sam: [puzzled] I know I heard somethin'.
[Scrooge closes the door and Bugs walks up and down the corridor beating a big base drum. Scrooge opens the door again, and Bugs stops beating the drum]
Yosemite Sam: [even more puzzled] I coulda swore someone was a-beating a drum out here.
[closes the door, goes back to bed but the drumming starts again]
Yosemite Sam: [angry] OOH! I'LL...!
[Scrooge charges out of his room and runs down the corridor. His cat, a Silvester look-a-like, wakes up, sees Scrooge, attempts to get out of his way but falls down the stairs - so does Scrooge]

Bugs Bunny: [disguised as a ghost] You're a mean and low down man with no Christmas Spirit. I'm taking you to see the man in the red suit.
Yosemite Sam: [touched] Oh, ya mean Santa Claus?
Bugs Bunny: No. I mean the *other* guy in the red suit.
Yosemite Sam: [realizes what the ghost means and looks very afraid] Oh... ya mean... down there?
Bugs Bunny: I do!

From Hare to Heir (1960)
Bugs Bunny: Hey Sam, pass the salt please.
Yosemite Sam: Salt? GET IT YOURSELF!
Bugs Bunny: Uh oh, that'll cost you about...
Yosemite Sam: Salt? Why didn't you say so. Here's your salt, Bunny, I hope you like it.
[Brings it across the table to him then walks back]
Yosemite Sam: Ooh that rackin' frackin'...
Bugs Bunny: The pepper please.
Yosemite Sam: PEPPER! WE... Uh, yeah the pepper. Coming right up.
[Walks to the end of the table and gives it to Bugs]
Yosemite Sam: Ooh that rackin' frackin'...
Bugs Bunny: Oh Sam!
Yosemite Sam: Oh no.
Bugs Bunny: How about the olives?

Advisor: But Sire, there is no more money. Your uncle, the king, has cut off your allowance.
Yosemite Sam: You know the penalty for not having the books balanced!
Advisor: Oh no. Not the 'nose-in-the-book' penalty.
Yosemite Sam: Yeah, the nose-in-the-book.
[Advisor puts his nose in the book and Sam slams it]

Yosemite Sam: I got it licked, rabbit. I don't get mad no more. Watch this.
[His servants kick him, throw a pie at him and bash him with a rolling pin]
Yosemite Sam: See? Ha ha. I can take it. Ha ha ha!
Bugs Bunny: [to camera] I ain't got the heart tell him he's used up all the money.

Yosemite Sam: [angrily answering the door] Well, what do you want?
Bugs Bunny: Good evening. My company has selected you, under no obligation, to be the proud owner of legal tender amounting to...
Yosemite Sam: [Slamming the door] We don't want any!
Bugs Bunny: ...£1 million!
Yosemite Sam: [Opening the door again] £1 million? Well, come right in! Welcome to the house of Sam.

Yosemite Sam: [Pounding on the bathroom door] Get out of there!
[Bugs opens the door knocking him out]
Yosemite Sam: [Bugs peeks out and shrugs his shoulders] Come out of there you bladder spattin' nagger trap or I'll...
Bugs Bunny: I heard you that's going to cost you four hundred pounds
[Sam growls]
Bugs Bunny: and thirty five shillings!
[Sam bangs his head on the piano in frustration]
Bugs Bunny: Hey doc what's that song you're playing?, I like it!
Yosemite Sam: [Muttering] Dirty son of a battle strommy crat!, If this keeps up I won't have anything left!
[Gets an idea]
Yosemite Sam: I'll get rid of him and make it look like an accident!

Bugs Bunny: [playing on the piano and singing loudly] I dream of Jeanie, she's a light brown hare!
[Sam is trying to sleep, but Bugs' singing and piano playing disturb his sleep]
Bugs Bunny: [offended] Well! That should be worth, eh, £400.
Yosemite Sam: [calming down] I was only kidding. How about singing me to sleep with that "Brahms' Lullaby"? What do you say, Frankie boy?
Bugs Bunny: Well, maybe.

Ballot Box Bunny (1951)
[last lines]
Bugs Bunny: Well, anyone for Russian Roulette?
[Sam takes a gun, and holds it to his head; it clicks empty. Bugs takes the gun, and holds it to his own head. As the film irises out, we hear a gunshot; it is revealed through another iris that Bugs is okay]
Bugs Bunny: Heh! I missed!
[Another iris reveals that Sam has taken the shot to the face]
Yosemite Sam: I hate that rabbit.
[Iris out again, for the last time]

[first lines]
Yosemite Sam: As I stand on this platform, I stand for union - Union suits and Union stations! For the little people. There's enough fresh air and sunshine in this great country of ours for everybody, and I'll see to it that you'll get your share!

[Sam rigs a cannon to the front door of Bugs' campaign headquarters]
Yosemite Sam: No one will vote for a flattened-out rabbit skin, I always say.
[Runs to the back door and knocks]
Bugs Bunny: Oh, you?
Yosemite Sam: Yes, rabbit. I come to extend my hand in friendship. I like you, rabbit. You're a good Joe.
[Taps his foot on floor]
Yosemite Sam: Someone knocking at your front door, rabbit.
Bugs Bunny: Excuse me, Doc. I'll be right back.
Yosemite Sam: [to himself] In little bitty pieces.
Bugs Bunny: That was someone for you, Sam. She said to mention St. Louis.
Yosemite Sam: St. Louis? Emma! Yahoo! Emma, here's your Sammy boy!
[Runs out to front door; Explosion; comes back all burnt and dazed]
Yosemite Sam: Same old Emma. Full of laughs.

Bugs Bunny: Step right up folks and get a free cigar. Every cigar is a vote for Bugs Bunny.
Yosemite Sam: Get out of here rabbit. If anyone is going to give away free cigars ol' Yosemite Sam will give em. Step right up gents.
[Bugs replaces the real cigars with a box of novelty cigars in a box that reads: 0.05 Atom Explosive Cigars You Will Get A Bang Out Of This]
Yosemite Sam: Ole' Honest Sam is giving away free cigars because he loves the people. Here you are Mr.
Man With Cigar: Say thanks.
Yosemite Sam: Let good ol' Sam light it for you.
[a loud explosion followed by what looks to be the burnt off end of a cigar. Sam blows off the singed part of the man's collar and the man's head pops up after the explosion]
Man With Cigar: Oh a wise guy huh?
[Man punches Sam in the face]

Bugs Bunny: I can do anything you can do only better.
Yosemite Sam: Oh no you can't!
Bugs Bunny: Oh yes I can.
Yosemite Sam: Can you play a piana?
Bugs Bunny: Have you got a piana?
Yosemite Sam: Sure I'll get a piana for you.
[Sam rigs the explosives to the key]
Yosemite Sam: There's your piana rabbit. NOW PLAY!
[Bugs plays Those Endearing Young Charms and hits the wrong note]
Yosemite Sam: NO! That's not it! Try it again
[Bugs plays Those Endearing Young Charms again and hits the wrong note again]
Yosemite Sam: OOOHH You stupid rabbit! LIKE THIS!
[Sam plays Those Endearing Young Charms on the piano and strikes the right note causing an explosion that turns his face to soot and then he falls over backwards]

Bugs Bunny: [Impersonating Theodore Roosevelt] I speak softly...
[pulls out a 2x4]
Bugs Bunny: ... but I carry a biiiiiig stick!
[the crowd cheers]
Yosemite Sam: [Holding a club and shouting] Oh yeah? Well I speak loooooouud! And I carry a biiiiigger stick!
[Hits Bugs over the head with the club]
Yosemite Sam: And I use it too!

Hare Trigger (1945)
Yosemite Sam: Be you the mean hombre that's a-hankerin' for a heap of trouble, stranger? Well, be ya?
Bugs Bunny: I be.

[last lines]
Yosemite Sam: [Bugs is tied up and hanging from a rope on top of the train as it lingers over a concrete bridge] Now, you lop-eared polecat, try and get out of this one!
[Sam begins to cut the rope and caption cards suddenly appear]
Narrator: Is this the end of Bugs Bunny? Will our hero be dashed to bits on the jagged rocks below?
Bugs Bunny: Is he to be doomed to utter destruction? Will he be rendered non-corpus mentis?
[Bugs walks into frame dragging a tied-up Sam behind him, with a bag of money in his hand]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, he don't know me very well, do he?
[Bugs chews on a carrot as the picture irises out]

Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, Doc?
Yosemite Sam: What's up? Why, you ornery, fur-bearing critter! This here's one of them there train robbery hold-ups.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah? Well, you must be Jesse James.
Yosemite Sam: Jesse James? Ha ha ha! Phooey. Why, everybody knows me. I'm Yosemite Sam, the meanest, toughest, rip-roarin'-est, Edward Everett Horton-est hombre what ever packed a six-shooter!
[Fires some shots in the air]
Yosemite Sam: That's who I am.

Yosemite Sam: I'm a-givin' you one second to draw a gun.
Bugs Bunny: [Takes out pencil and paper and draws a picture of a gun] How's that, chunky?

Yosemite Sam: [after drawing picture of a gun] There, how's that?
Bugs Bunny: Hmmm, it stinks!
Yosemite Sam: Why you! Oooh!
[crumples the paper and starts to shoot Bugs]

Yosemite Sam: [sadly] Why did you pour red ink on my head?

Big House Bunny (1950)
[last lines]
Yosemite Sam Schultz: I'd like to know what dirty stool pigeon squealed on me.
[Bugs is seen standing on a stool, cooing like a pigeon]

Bugs Bunny: [after being beaten up by Sam] Eh, what's up, Doc?
Yosemite Sam Schultz: Trying to pull a escape, 777174, eh?
Bugs Bunny: Oh, you're mistaken, Mac. You see, I'm not 777174. I'm only three and a half.
Yosemite Sam Schultz: Three and a half? Okay, so you're three and a half.
[Cut to Bugs, cracking rocks and wearing a prisoner uniform with the number 3½]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, my mother told me there'd be days like this.

Yosemite Sam Schultz: [Locked in a cell] Let me out of here, let me out of here!
[shakes his cell door]
Yosemite Sam Schultz: Oooh! Get me a mouth piece! I want a "habus corpeas"!

Yosemite Sam Schultz: [training his rifle on Bugs] I'm gonna give you solitary confinement for 99 years!
Bugs Bunny: Eh, you wouldn't be so tough if you weren't wearing that uniform!
Yosemite Sam Schultz: Oh, I wouldn't, huh?
[Both take off their uniforms]
Yosemite Sam Schultz: [sparring] Yeah, right hook. Left to the jaw.
Bugs Bunny: Yep, I guess you would, all right.
[Bugs puts on Sam's uniform, while Sam puts on Bugs' prisoner uniform; Bugs blows whistle and guards beat up Sam and drag him away]

Yosemite Sam Schultz: [directing Bugs into a prison cell] Now get in there!
[Bugs enters the cell and Sam locks it, then laughs wickedly]
Bugs Bunny: Gee, I don't get it, Doc. How come you locked me outside?
Yosemite Sam Schultz: Outside? Why, you're *inside*!
Bugs Bunny: [chuckles] Oh, no, I'm not; I'm outside. *You're* inside.
Yosemite Sam Schultz: I am?
[opens the door]
Yosemite Sam Schultz: Well, then get in here!
[Sam switches places with Bugs; Bugs closes the cell, takes the key and leaves]
Bugs Bunny: [mockingly] Boo-hoo. Now I'll never see my wife and kiddies again. Boo-hoo-hoo.

Yosemite Sam Schultz: [to Bugs] HALT! Stay where you're at!
[opens the prison gates]
Yosemite Sam Schultz: Now, get out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! OUT!
[Bugs shrugs, then walks out. Sam locks the gate shut]
Yosemite Sam Schultz: [giddy] He's gone! He's GONE! I'm rid of him!
Warden: [shrilly] SCHULTZ! OFFICE!
Yosemite Sam Schultz: [winces] Oh, no...

Rabbitson Crusoe (1956)
Yosemite Sam: Hmm... Tossed coconut salad.
[pours liquid from a coconut]
Yosemite Sam: Fresh coconut milk.
[opens a key cake plate, then sniffs]
Yosemite Sam: New England boiled coconut.
[suddenly closes the key cake plate]
Yosemite Sam: Oooh, I... hates coconuts!
[tosses his meal away]
Yosemite Sam: 20 years of coconuts! I can't STAND coconuts!

Yosemite Sam: Back, you shark-livered varmint!

Yosemite Sam: Danged ol' fin flappin' flounder.

Yosemite Sam: Twenty years tryin' and you missed me again, you shovel-nosed mackerel! No good bush whackin' barracuda.

Yosemite Sam: Ha! Missed me again, you hammerhead halibut!

Bugs Bunny Rides Again (1948)
Yosemite Sam: Listen, stranger. This town ain't big enough fer the two of us!
Bugs Bunny: It ain't? Eh, pardon me, Mac.
[he exits the saloon, followed by construction noises until he returns]
Bugs Bunny: Now is it big enough?
[a much-larger city has been built behind the town]
Yosemite Sam: Naw, still ain't big enough!

[preceded by a hail of gunfire, Yosemite Sam enters the Gunshot Saloon]
Cowboy #1: Yosemite Sam!
Cowboy #2: It's Yosemite Sam!
Yosemite Sam: Yeah, Yosemite Sam - the roughest, toughest he-man stuffest hombre that's ever crossed the Rio Grande. An' I ain't no namby-pamby.
[in some cuts of the cartoon, Sam finished the quote with "... and I don't mean Mahatma Gandhi."]

Bugs Bunny: Your move first, Sam. C'mon, pick a card.
Yosemite Sam: All right! Don't rush me. I'm a-thinking... and my head hurts.

Bugs Bunny: Gin rummy's my game, Sam.
Yosemite Sam: Okay, cut the cards.
[Bugs takes a hatchet and chops the deck of cards in two]
Yosemite Sam: Not that-a way, you darn galoot!

Yosemite Sam: Now, all of you skunks clear out of here!
[everyone leaves the saloon; the last one out is an actual skunk]
Skunk: My, weren't there a lot of skunks in here?

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)
[slips on an animated banana peel]
Yosemite Sam: Yikes!
[Opens fire on the banana peel]
Yosemite Sam: Dadburn slapstick cliché!

Yosemite Sam: Outta my way, fancy boy. I'm a-commandeering this here clown car.

[DJ and Yosemite Sam follow the Queen of Diamonds playing card to Foghorn Leghorn's blackjack table, where it gets shuffled into the deck]
Foghorn Leghorn: Place, I say, place your bets! Money plays, loser stays! Everyone's a winn - well, not everyone.
Yosemite Sam: [Drops a bag of money on the table] Here's my money, now play!
Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Foghorn Leghorn: Don'cha, I say, don'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.
DJ Drake: [looks at the card; it's an ace] Hit me.
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me first!
Foghorn Leghorn: Wait your, I saya wait your turn, sir.
[deals another ace to DJ]
DJ Drake: Hit me.
[Foghorn deals another ace]
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me!
[Foghorn continues to deal aces and twos to DJ. Sam can't take it anymore]
Yosemite Sam: No, no, no, hit ME, fragnabbit!
[Foghorn glances at the audience, then smashes Sam in the head with a piece of wood. Squashed, Sam scuttles around the table, cursing unintelligibly]
Foghorn Leghorn: He's the boss.
[Back to DJ]
Foghorn Leghorn: Card Sir?
[DJ winces at the possibility of himself getting hit as well]
DJ Drake: [unsure] ... Hit me?
[Foghorn finally deals the Queen of Diamonds; DJ snatches it off the table]
Foghorn Leghorn: Twenty-one! We have, I say we have a winner!
[DJ and Daffy break for the door]
Daffy Duck: And then, they made their heroic escape!
[Daffy runs facefirst into the door that isn't open. DJ comes back, peels Daffy off, and exits again]

Yosemite Sam: [regarding a lit dynamite stick in the car] Throw it out the window! Throw it out the window! Throw it out!
Nasty Canasta: But innocent people could get hurt.
Yosemite Sam: Throw it out the window!
Cottontail Smith: But it'll send the wrong message to children.
Yosemite Sam: I said throw it out the...
[dynamite explodes]
Yosemite Sam: Ooooh!

Daffy Duck: I don't know the meaning of the word fear.
[opens door to find Yosemite Sam aiming a cannon at him]
Yosemite Sam: Say your prayers, duck!
Daffy Duck: Fear: Noun. A state of terror. Yaaaaah!

Bugs Bunny's Mad World of Television (1982) (TV)
Porky Pig: [stammers] But you can't quit, Bugs. You-you've made our network, er, uh, number one.
Bugs Bunny: Sorry, pal, but what you need for a president is someone less sensitive than me.
Yosemite Sam: [pounding his fist on Bugs's desk] I'm not sensitive about *nothin*'!
Bugs Bunny: Someone not afraid to make raw decisions.
Yosemite Sam: I'm about as raw as you're a-gonna get!

Yosemite Sam: That fool made a fool outta me, but I've got another rotten idea. Network Sam never gives up!

Bugs Bunny: [silences Sam's gunshots] Hold it, Sam. What if I make you a Vice President in charge of Specials?
Yosemite Sam: Phew. It pays to be a good negotiator.

Yosemite Sam: Little does the varmit know I'm gonna be the head honcho around here!
[laughs manically]

[last lines]
Porky Pig: You know why I'll...
Porky Pig: put you on as, uh, President, Sam?
Yosemite Sam: [earnestly] Why?
Porky Pig: [staring him in the face angrily] Uh, so as I can fire you!
[he kicks Sam out the window and he plummets into a fountain down below]
Yosemite Sam: Now can you see why it's so lonely at the top?
Bugs Bunny: [appearing at the fountain] And so wet at the bottom!

Hare Lift (1952)
Yosemite Sam: [robbing a bank] Haw haw! And keep reachin' for the ceiling till ya reach it!

Bugs Bunny: [singing as he flies the plane] You're off for the big show tonight, so fly from wing to wing...
Yosemite Sam: [rushing into the cockpit] I'm a-takin' over this flyin' machine! Gimme that wheel!
Bugs Bunny: Well, if you insist.
[he yanks the steering wheel out and throws it out the plane's window]

Bugs Bunny: [as he and Sam watch the robot pilot parachute off the plane] Gee, that leaves only one parachute. We'll have to draw straws to see who gets it.
Yosemite Sam: Okay, you draw the straws.
[he rushes back to get the last parachute, then reappears]
Yosemite Sam: I'm a-takin' the parachute!
[jumps off]
Yosemite Sam: Geronimo!

Bugs Bunny: [reading book, "How to Fly"] "Refer to page 5, illustration E..."
Yosemite Sam: Quick, quick! Do something, or we're gonna crash! Read faster, rabbit! Read faster, or I'll blast your head off!
Bugs Bunny: [closing the book] I refuse to look up any more reference because you talked mean to me. Say you're sorry.
Yosemite Sam: [smacking forehead] Oh, no!
[Sam runs to the window, and sees that the plane is plummeting to Earth very quickly]
Yosemite Sam: Okay, you crazy galoot, I'm sorry.
Bugs Bunny: Say you're sorry with sugar on it.
Yosemite Sam: [indignantly] No! No! *Never*!
Bugs Bunny: [pause] Okay.
[Sam nervously begins playing with a yo-yo and jacks, while Bugs calmly chews on a carrot. Eventually, Sam returns to the window and sees to his horror that the plane is just about to crash toward farmland]
Yosemite Sam: [frantically] I'm sorry with sugar on it!
Bugs Bunny: That's better. *Much* better. I'll see what I can do.
Yosemite Sam: YAAAAAH!
[Bugs manages to get the plane back up before it nosedives]

Southern Fried Rabbit (1953)
Bugs Bunny: What's the hassle, Schmasel?
Yosemite Sam: My orders from General Lee is to hold the Mason-Dixie line, and no Yankees are crossing it.
Bugs Bunny: General Lee? Why, the War between the States ended almost 90 years ago.
Yosemite Sam: I'm no clock watcher.

Yosemite Sam: Well, it's one of our boys.
Bugs Bunny: [in blackface, shuffling along playing a banjo] The sun shines bright in my old Kentucky home...
Yosemite Sam: Hey there, boy. How about giving out with something peppy on that skin-box, huh?
Bugs Bunny: Ya, over. Yankee Doodle went to town a-riding on a pony...
Yosemite Sam: Yankee doodle? You traitor!
Bugs Bunny: [Hands Sam a whip] Don't beat me, Masser! Please don't beat me, Masser! Don't beat that tired old body! No, don't!
[Exits; returns disguised as Abraham Lincoln]
Bugs Bunny: What's this I hear about you whipping slaves?
Yosemite Sam: But, but, but, but, bu-but...
Bugs Bunny: Never mind the buts. Here's my card. Look me up at my Gettysburg address.

Bugs Bunny: [Disguised as a Southern belle] Oh, it's one of our boys.
Yosemite Sam: Sorry, Scarlet, ma'am. Sorry to have to intrude, but there's a Yankee about.
Bugs Bunny: Oh! A Yankee? How terrible!
Yosemite Sam: I'm afraid I'll have to search your premises.
Bugs Bunny: [Standing in front of a door] He's not in here! He's not in here!
Yosemite Sam: Aha! So that's where he's hiding! Sorry, Scarlet, ma'am, but I have to do my duty. Okay, Yankee! Stick 'em...
[Opens door, a cannon fires on his face]
Yosemite Sam: ... up.
Bugs Bunny: [Standing in front of another door] He's not in here! He's not in here!
Yosemite Sam: I'll take your word for it, ma'am.

Bugs Bunny: [Disguised as Confederate soldier] Coronel, the Yankees... the Yankees, they're in Chattanooga.
Yosemite Sam: Chattanoogee? Charge!
[Cut to a stadium, where the Yankees are playing an exhibition game against Chattanooga; Sam has the Yankees held up in their dugout]
Yosemite Sam: The first dang Yankee to step out of that dugout gets his head blasted off.

Buccaneer Bunny (1948)
[first lines]
Yosemite Sam: [singing] Fifteen men on a dead man's chest/Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum./Fifteen men on a dead man's chest/Yo ho ho, and a bottle of ma's old-fashioned cider, ma's old-fashioned cider.

[Bugs emerges from his hole, covered in jewels]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, Doc?
Yosemite Sam: What's up, Doc? I ain't no Doc. I'm a pirate - Seagoing Sam, the blood-thirstiest, shoot 'em first-iest, doggone worst-iest buccaneer that's ever sailed the Spanish main!

Yosemite Sam: [cornering Bugs] Say your prayers, varmint.
[Bugs lights a match and throws it into the ship's powder room]
Yosemite Sam: NOOOOO!
[Sam runs down the stairs and retrieves the match]
Yosemite Sam: Why, you crazy doggone idjit! Whatcha trying to do, blow us to smithereens?
[Bugs throws another match into the powder room]
Yosemite Sam: NOOOOO!
[Sam runs down the stairs and retrieves the match]
Yosemite Sam: Blast your ornery hide! If ya does that just once more, I ain't a-going after it.
[Bugs throws another match into the room, but Sam keeps his word. He tries to distract himself, but gives up and tries to run downstairs. He is too late, as the ship explodes, depositing him and Bugs back on shore]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, didn't make it?

Bugs Bunny: Eh... What's up, doc?
Yosemite Sam: What's up doc? I ain't no doc, I'm a pirate! Sea-Goin' Sam, the bloodthirstiest, shoot-em-firstiest, doggone worstiest buccaneer that's ever sailed the Spanish Main! Now gimme them jewels! Them's my treasure, and I'm a-buryin' 'em where no one'll know where they're at but me.
Bugs Bunny: Uh huh. And me.
Yosemite Sam: What?
[pulls his pistol on Bugs]
Yosemite Sam: Say your prayers, varmint! Dead rabbits tell no tales.
Bugs Bunny: [plugging Sam's gun with his finger] Now just a minute, red. Ain't you got that wrong? You mean, "Dead men tell no tales."
Yosemite Sam: Dead men tell no...? Say, you're right! Well, doggone it, I reckon I ain't got no alternative...
[aims his pistol at his own head]
Bugs Bunny: Well, so long, Captain Kidney!

Daffy Duck's Movie: Fantastic Island (1983)
Daffy Duck: You wasted a wish! I wish that burrito was stuck on your big dumb nose!
Speedy Gonzales: [The burrito appears on his nose] Help! Get it off. I can't breathe nothing but burrito!
Daffy Duck: Well Sam, it looks like we'll have to use your wish to get the burrito off his nose. It's the only humane thing to do. Sam? Sam?
Yosemite Sam: Too late, Duck, I already wished for a pirate ship. After I sinks a certain pesky rabbit, I'll come back and pick you up!

Yosemite Sam: The only two things a pirate'll run for is money and public office.

Yosemite Sam: Set'er down. Set'er down here!
[Taz drops the cannon, causing it to fire at Sam's face]
Yosemite Sam: Ooh! I'll shiver his timbers and I'll baton his hatch and keel-haul his kuppers!

Yosemite Sam: Ooh, that rackin' frackin' rabbit. I'd like to stretch him on a rackin' frackin' wrack.

Sahara Hare (1955)
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up Doc? You with the sideshow around here?
Yosemite Sam: I'm no Doc, ya flea-bitten varmint! I'm Riff-Raff Sam, the riffiest riff that ever riffed a raft!
Bugs Bunny: Your slip is showing.

Yosemite Sam: Great horney toads! A trespasser, gettin' footie prints all over my desert!

[repeated line]
Yosemite Sam: When ah say, "Whoa!" ah mean "Whoa!"

Yosemite Sam: Now I hope that'll learn ya, you humpbacked muley!

From Hare to Eternity (1997)
Bugs Bunny: Eh... What's up doc?
Yosemite Sam: Doc? I ain't no doctor. But get off my treasure crest, or you'll be needing one. A doctor, that is.
Bugs Bunny: You're cute.

Yosemite Sam: Aw, come on, come on, don't be a baby.
Bugs Bunny: But I might get all wet.
Yosemite Sam: Aw, shut up and start drowning. Ohh, I hate a poor spot. Oh, I'm tired of your shillying and your shallying.

Bugs Bunny: You might try jumping on it.
Yosemite Sam: well, thank you, varmint.

Bugs Bunny: I'm calling little buttercup. Dear little butterchup though I could never tell why?
Yosemite Sam: But you're called buttercup, dear little buttercup.
Bugs Bunny: Sweet little buttercup, pie.
Yosemite Sam: Buttercup pie? Ooh, I love buttercup pie. Kiss me, my fool.

High Diving Hare (1949)
Yosemite Sam: I paid my four bits to see the high-diving act and I'm a-gonna see the high-diving act.

Yosemite Sam: Now, you dog-blasted, ornery, no-account, long-eared varmint!
Bugs: Hey,just a minute, you! Dem's fightin' woids!
Yosemite Sam: Yeah, dem's fightin' words!
Bugs: I dash ya to step across dis line.
[traces line along edge of diving board]
Yosemite Sam: I'm a-stepping.
[Sam steps across line and falls off board; rises up]
Yosemite Sam: I hate you.
[falls back down]

Yosemite Sam: [Sam realizes Bugs has placed a door on the diving board] Open this door!
[starts banging on the door]
Yosemite Sam: Ya notice I didn't say, "Richard"?

Yosemite Sam: [on the diving board, Sam notices that Bugs has disappeared] What... Where is he? Where's the critter at?
[he looks over the edge to see Bugs standing upside-down on the underside of the board]
Bugs: Eh... What's up, doc?
Yosemite Sam: [flabbergasted] *Great horny toads!* What're you doin' down there upside-downy?
Bugs: I'm not upside down, doc; *you* are! Look!
[He points, revealing that Sam is actually the one upside-down. Sam falls into the water tank below]

Hare Trimmed (1953)
Bugs: [preparing to duel with Sam] En garde?
Yosemite Sam: I'm ready!
Bugs: [Sam starts taking his steps while Bugs counts] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, nine and a half, nine and three quarters, nine and three sixteenths, eleven sixteenths, twelve sixteenths, ten!
[a bus runs over Sam]
Bugs: Yep, he's right on time.
Yosemite Sam: [lying dazed in the middle of the street] Ooh... what a night.

Yosemite Sam: That dame's taking everything but the kitchen sink.
[kitchen sink drops into Sam's arms]

[Bugs is disguised as a Frenchman]
Bugs: Eh, what is up, M'sieur le physician?
Yosemite Sam: You darn dude! I'll give you a taste of leather!
[Smacks Bugs across the face with his glove]
Bugs: Ha! You have insult the great lover, the Marquis of Queensbury Rules! Take *this*!
[Slips a brick into his glove and hits Sam with it, the broken pieces falling out]

[Bugs, dressed as Granny, comes up to Yosemite Sam with a tray full of coffee supplies]
Bugs: One or two lumps?
Yosemite Sam: Make it two.
Bugs: Two? Okay.
[Bugs takes a mallet and delivers two lumps to Sam's noggin with it]
Bugs: One, two.
[He then runs off, giggling]

The Bugs Bunny Mystery Special (1980) (TV)
Yosemite Sam: I'm gonna give you solitary confinement for 99 years!
Bugs Bunny: Eh, you wouldn't be so tough if you weren't wearing uniform!
Yosemite Sam: Oh, I wouldn't, huh?

Bugs Bunny: [after Yosemite Sam locks him in the jail cell] Gee, I don't get it, Doc. How come you locked me outside?
Yosemite Sam: Outside? Why, you're *inside!*
Bugs Bunny: [chuckles] Oh, no, I'm not; I'm outside. *You're* inside.
Yosemite Sam: [glancing puzzledly around the cell] I am?
[opens the cell door]
Yosemite Sam: Well then, get in here!
Bugs Bunny: [Bugs shrugs, walks out, locks Sam in the cell, then takes the keys out and walks away] Boo-hoo. Now I'll never see my wife and kids again. Boo-hoo-hoo.

Elmer Fudd: I want *you* to go after that *wabbit*. You're sneaky, woithless, wotten, and mean.
Yosemite Sam: Robbery'll get you nowhere!
Elmer Fudd: [handing Sam a sack of money] Aw, pwetty pwease?

Bugs Bunny: [singing as he flies the plane] You're off for the big show tonight, so fly from wing to wing...
Yosemite Sam: [rushing into the cockpit] I'm a-takin' over this flyin' machine! Gimme that wheel!
Bugs Bunny: [shrugs] Well, if you insist.
[he yanks the steering wheel out and throws it out the window]

Honey's Money (1962)
Yosemite Sam: When I get my hands on that money, I'll buy the old ladies' home and kick the old ladies out.
Yosemite Sam: I'll have the orphanage torn down, and get rid of the police force.

Yosemite Sam: [after the wedding] Well, that's that. Now for some good old luxury living.
[sits in a living room chair]
Yosemite Sam: Uh, just let me know when dinner's ready.
The Wealthy Widow: All right, you! Haul your carcass out of that chair and get busy with the housework!
Yosemite Sam: Housework? Are you out of your cotton-pickin' mind? Now turn on the TV set for me, my good woman!
[the widow pulls Sam's chair back, and Sam flies out of it]

The Wealthy Widow: [watching Sam play "horsey" with Wentworth] Oh, that's nice. Now you better take Wentworth to the playground for some fresh air.
Yosemite Sam: What? Well, I'm not takin' no Wentworth to no playground!
The Wealthy Widow: Yes you ARE!
Yosemite Sam: No I'm NOT!
The Wealthy Widow: YES YOU ARE!
Yosemite Sam: NO I'M NOT!
The Wealthy Widow: [yells so loud her voice pushes Sam across the room] YES YOU ARE!
Wentworth: [to camera] My dad and mommy are fighting.

Rabbit Every Monday (1951)
Yosemite Sam: I smell carrots a-cooking, and where there's carrots, there's rabbits.

Yosemite Sam: That consarn idjit rabbit bit me nose!

Yosemite Sam: [Bugs steals his hat] Gimme that hat!
[Bugs tosses it away. Sam picks it up, infuriated]
Yosemite Sam: Ooh, ya dern crazy galoot!
Yosemite Sam: [Bugs tosses Sam's hat into the oven this time. Sam reaches in the oven without looking and puts a piece of flaming firewood on his head] Why, ya doggone crazy idjit! That's my new hat!
Yosemite Sam: Whew, it sure is gettin' powerful warm in here...

Mutiny on the Bunny (1950)
[first lines]
Traumatized Sailor: [fleeing from Sam's ship screaming] I was a human being once...
[Sam notices the sailor, who runs off]
Yosemite Sam: Avast there! Come back here, you barnacle-bitten swab!
[Sam fires his pistols in frustration]
Yosemite Sam: Blast his scuppers! Now I gotta get me a whole new crew. I'm a-sailin' with the tide, or my name ain't Shanghai Sam... and it is.

Yosemite Sam: [handing Bugs a mop] Here! You're a-swabbin' the deck.
Bugs Bunny: Oh, no, I'm not.
Yosemite Sam: Oh, yes, you are!
Bugs Bunny: Oh, no, I'm not.
Yosemite Sam: Oh, yes, you are!
Bugs Bunny: Oh...
[dissolve to Bugs mopping the deck]
Bugs Bunny: Yes, I am.

Yosemite Sam: Ooh, belay there, you long-eared galoot! Get aloft and furl the tatter-sole top gallants before I keelhauls you!

Wild and Woolly Hare (1959)
Bugs Bunny: So long screwy. See ya in Saint Louie.
Yosemite Sam: I hate that rabbit.

Yosemite Sam: Ya stupid horse.

Yosemite Sam: I'm the fastest gun north, south, east, aaaaaaaand west of the Pecos! I'm the...
Bugs Bunny: [o.s] Eh, shuddup!
Yosemite Sam: [marching over to Bugs] Did I hear someone say, "Shuddup?"
Bugs Bunny: [lifts his hat to reveal his eyes] ... Yup.
Yosemite Sam: Stranger, you've just yupped yourself into a hole in the head!
Bugs Bunny: You been eatin' onions.
Yosemite Sam: And *you're* gonna be eatin' lead!
[pulls his revolver out]
Yosemite Sam: I'm a-warnin' ya, stranger!
Bugs Bunny: I think it's fair to warn *you*, I swing a fast-shootin' arm myself. You see that church bell out there? I'll carry my shot off'n it, then off that water tower, through the window, off the bottle on this bar, then part your hair right down the middle!
[he draws, twirls and fires his revolver. The shot ricochets off all its intended targets, but Sam ducks before it hits him]
Yosemite Sam: *Ha!* Ya missed!
Bugs Bunny: Wait...
[Sam looks unnerved as his hat splits in half, revealing his hair parted perfectly down the middle]

Bunker Hill Bunny (1950)
Yosemite Sam: I'm a Hessian without no aggression. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Yosemite Sam: Ahoy there! Enemy ahoy!
Bugs Bunny: What's up, Doc?
Yosemite Sam: A rabbit? Ha ha ha ha! A rabbit.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, Ha ha ha ha! A rabbit. And just who do you think you are?
Yosemite Sam: Who am I? I'm Sam Von Schmamm the Hessian, that's who I am, and I've got you outnumbered one to one. Surrender or die, rabbit!
Bugs Bunny: Now just a minute, Von Schmamm the Hessian. This happens to be me native soil and I like it. In fact, I love it.
[Kisses ground]
Bugs Bunny: And no Hessian oppression is gonna put me off'n it. So just try and take it.

Yosemite Sam: You better say your prayers, you flea-bitten varmit! I'm a-gonna blow you to smithereenies!
Bugs Bunny: Ah, your brother blows bubble gum!

14 Carrot Rabbit (1952)
[Yosemite Sam takes the gold he had stolen from Louie to the Next To Last Chance Saloon to cash in]
Yosemite Sam: [placing the gold on the counter] Here, Pierre, weigh this up.
Pierre: [placing the gold on the scale] Yes, sir.
Yosemite Sam: And keep your thumb off o' them scales...
[he levels his guns at Pierre]
Yosemite Sam: ... or I'll *blow* it off!
Pierre: She's pretty small. Ten dollars.
Yosemite Sam: [shocked] *Ten dollars*? Why, it's gettin' so a man can't earn a dishonest livin' no more!

Bugs Bunny: [as Sam digs for gold] Maybe I should help. After all, we're partners.
Yosemite Sam: [stops digging] *Partners*? Our partnership has dissolved. This is all mine! Now beat it!
[Throws rocks at Bugs]
Bugs Bunny: Well, of all the double-crossing...
[Sees that Sam is close to making a hole through the cliff]
Bugs Bunny: Gee, I couldn't do that to the little guy. Hey, Sam!
Yosemite Sam: *SHUT UP*!
[Continues digging, until he makes a hole and falls into the abyss below. All the while, Bugs just munches on a carrot]

Yosemite Sam: [to Louie the prospector] Okay, Louie, drop the pan!
[he levels his guns at him]
Louie: Chillicothe Sam!
Yosemite Sam: Yeah, Chillicothe Sam, the roughest, toughest, rootinest, shootinest claim-jumper that ever jumped a claim, and I'm-a takin' over *your* claim! So get-a goin' a-fore I puncture your hide!
[he fires his guns at Louie repeatedly, and Louie jumps up and runs away]
Yosemite Sam: [laughing] He jumped around like a toady frog.
[he grabs the gold, disgusted; there's not that much gold there]
Yosemite Sam: Hmm, pickin's is mighty slim around here. Hardly no reward for a day's work.

Knighty Knight Bugs (1958)
Sam: Don't sneeze ya stupid dragon, or you'll blow us to the moon!
[Dragon sneezes and the tower "blasts off", headed for the moon]
Sam: [glares at his befuddled dragon] Dragons is so stupid!

Sam: Open that bridge, varmit! Open it, I say!
[the drawbridge drops on top of Sam]
Sam: Close it! Close it! Close it up again!
[Drawbridge opens, leaving a flattened Sam]
Sam: Okay, rabbit, you forced me to use force!

[Sam's dragon is sneezing]
Sam: Ya crazy, idgit, bedraggled dragon! I warned ya about lettin' your fire get low! Now ya caught cold!

The Fair Haired Hare (1951)
Yosemite Sam: Here's your juice rabbit, now drink up.
Bugs Bunny: [spins the table] Trade ya.
Yosemite Sam: [spins the table back] Drink your own juice!
Bugs Bunny: [spins the table multiple times] Round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows.
Yosemite Sam: [stops the table] Cut it out!
[pulls out his gun]
Yosemite Sam: Now drink your juice, before I blows the fur off'n yer hide!
Yosemite Sam: It's good for ya.
Bugs Bunny: I'm not going to drink till you drink yours foist!
Yosemite Sam: [chuckles darkly] OK, it's a deal.
[he drinks the juice, then pulls his gun again]
Bugs Bunny: [trembling nervously, Bugs drinks the juice, then brightens] Hey, that's delicious! How about a second helping, doc?

Yosemite Sam: Mice!

Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie (1981)
Yosemite Sam: Where am I? It sure is powerful warm in here. Is this Dallas?
Satan: No, but you're close.

Yosemite Sam: Any one of you lily livered, bow legged varmints care to slap leather with me? In case any of ya get any idears, ya better know yer dealin' with. I'm the hootiness, tootiness, shootiness, bob tailed wildcat in the west.
[Fires his guns at the ground as they lift him in the air]
Yosemite Sam: I'm the fastest gun north, south, east, aaaaaaand west of the Pecos. I'm the...
Bugs Bunny: Ahhhhhhh shuddup!

(Blooper) Bunny! (1991)
Yosemite Sam: Get me out of this Gol-durned contraption! What do you think I am, some kinda dad-blasted hootchie-cootchie gal? Do I look like some half-clad female, to come a-shooting out of a cake? Why, it ain't decent.

[Last lines]
Bugs Bunny: Sam! Sam! Speak to me!
Yosemite Sam: Oooh! You carrot chompin', flop-eared, bob-tailed rabbit! I hope your innards turn to outards and your ears go visey-versey! I hates rabbits! It's just human nature to hates rabbits! Why you low down, flop-eared, son of a kangaroo! You'll pay for this, you dog blasted, ornery, no account, long-eared varmint! Why, you carned-sarned idjot rabbit!
Bugs Bunny: Eh...
[munches on a carrot]
Bugs Bunny: Maybe we can fix it in the editing.

Roman Legion-Hare (1955)
Yosemite Sam: [chasing after Bugs, Sam stops beside a caged lion] Now where'd that skunk of a rabbit go?
[the lion roars, startling Sam, who drops his club]
Yosemite Sam: Why, you mangy fang-toothed critter!
[He cracks the lion over the head]
Yosemite Sam: Take that! Maybe that'll learn ya to keep yer big mouth shut!

"The Looney Tunes Show: Newspaper Thief (#1.14)" (2011)
Yosemite Sam: [to Daffy] You're the worst neighbor I ever met. And I should know. Before I met you, *I* was the worst neighbor I ever met.

Bugs Bunny's Looney Christmas Tales (1979) (TV)
Yosemite Sam: I'm a-gonna sleep all through Christmas. That way I won't hurt my eyes lookin' at all 'dem ugly decorations.

Bah Humduck!: A Looney Tunes Christmas (2006) (V)
Yosemite Sam: I'm the ghost of Christmas present you greedy little holiday wrecking varmint.
Daffy Duck: That's only part of who I am. I'm actually quite complex.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
[Yosemite Sam, with his rear end on fire, lands near Eddie]
Yosemite Sam: Yeow! Ow! My biscuits are burnin'! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts!
[Sits in a puddle and extinguishes the fire]

Shishkabugs (1962)
[Sam is searching through the cookbook for the recipe for hassenpfeffer when he is interrupted by a knock on the door. It's Bugs Bunny]
Yosemite Sam: [upset] Ooh, what do you want?
Bugs Bunny: Good afternoon. Let me introduce myself as one of the woodland creatures residing in the King's forest, and being that there is such a close relationship, I assume it would not be too improper to borrow a cup of diced carrots, huh?
[he holds an empty cup]
Yosemite Sam: The answer is no!
[he slams the door shut in Bugs' face]
Yosemite Sam: Dirty, no-account, woodland creature rabbits always borrowin' things.

"Toon Marooned: Sandcastle Hastle (#1.5)" (2001)
Daffy Duck: Tonight, we're gonna vote off...
Yosemite Sam: You've been getting mighty bossy since we started this galdurn alliance!
Daffy Duck: We'll just see who's still around after tonight's vote!

Dumb Patrol (1964)
Bugs Bunny: Well, what do you know? There's the little Wiener schnitzel, now. I'll just drop him this little token of my esteem.
[while flying over him, Bugs Bunny dropped a note to the Baron Sam von Schpam]
Yosemite Sam: What's this?
[Baron starts reading note, dropped by Bugs]
Yosemite Sam: Uh, "Dear baron: Roses are red, violets are blue, a leghorn's a chicken, and so are you!" Why, that dummkopf! He even spelt "baron" with a small b!
[Baron is back to reading note]
Yosemite Sam: PS: I enclosed a big "B" in the flowers.
[a yellow-jacket stings the Baron's nose]
Yosemite Sam: Yeow!

Lighter Than Hare (1960)
[last lines & Closing Credits Music starts, after robot disguised as a rabbit explodes]
Yosemite Sam From Outer Space's Commander: Eww, those Earth creatures are always shooting off their mouths.
[Bugs chuckles, after hearing the explosion, on the radio]
Bugs Bunny: Gee, I wonder if Amos n' Andy is on yet?
[Bugs chuckles, after hearing explosion then Closing Credits' music begins]

Along Came Daffy (1947)
Daffy Duck: I suppose it would be utterly futile at this point to inform you that my company has authorized me to give away absolutely free a complete six-course turkey dinner.
Sam's Brother: Turkey dinner?
Yosemite Sam: Turkey dinner?
Daffy Duck: Why, certainly! Observe.
[Opens his suitcase on the table; out comes the turkey dinner]
Daffy Duck: Gentlemen, dinner is served.
[Yosemite Sam and brother eye the turkey dinner]
Daffy Duck: And gentlemen, as you enjoy your dinner, don't forget that the Klassy Kut Knish Katering Kompany made it possible. I bid you good day.