Lawrence Van Dough
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Lawrence Van Dough (Character)
from Ri¢hie Ri¢h (1994)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Ri¢hie Ri¢h (1994)
[having forced Richard Sr. and Regina to open Mount Richmore, Van Dough finds that instead of money, it contains... baby pictures, comic books, baseball cards, finger paintings, and other bric-a-brac!]
Van Dough: Why, this is incredible! This is amazing! Why, this is -...
[gets disillusioned]
Van Dough: This is... this is junk!
Regina Rich: [they both look insulted] Junk?
Van Dough: What is this? Bronze dog bones? Accordians? Baby pictures, tricycles, kites...
[picks up a]
Van Dough: Bowling trophies?
Richard Rich Sr.: Oh, do you remember that, darling?
Regina Rich: Our first date!
Van Dough: What is all of this crap?
Regina Rich: These are our treasured possessions!
Van Dough: But where's the gold... the diamonds... the negotiable bearer bonds? The money!
[points his gun at them]
Richard Rich Sr.: In banks, where else? And the stock market, real estate...
Van Dough: No! Is this some kind of joke? You're telling me there isn't one single platinum bar, or emerald, or $1,000 bill in this *entire mountain*?
Richard Rich Sr.: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lawrence, but that's not what we treasure.
Van Dough: [to Ambler] Shoot them! Shoot them now, please!

Van Dough: [as he steps out of his limo and into a puddle] 37-and-a-half miles of driveway, and you park in the 5 feet with a puddle!
Chauffeur: I'm very sorry, sir.
Van Dough: You're very sorry? Well, in that case, find another job.

Van Dough: I'm all in favor of charity, sir. But your donations are costing the corporation $1 billion a year, and I think it's time we asked ourselves: What are we getting for it?
Regina Rich: [incredulous] What are we getting for it? Why, we're getting food banks, medical clinics, shelters for the homeless-!
Richard Rich Sr.: Now, Regina, calm down! It's my job to keep an eye on the bottom line.
Van Dough: Which is why I have to oppose the United Tool acquisition. We should be getting rid of dead weight, not acquiring more.
Richard Rich Sr.: I agree. That's why I am getting rid of United Tool...
Regina Rich: Richard! All those people and their jobs!
Van Dough: That is brilliant. I should've thought of it myself. We buy the company in bankruptcy, level the factories...
Richard Rich Sr.: No, I'm keeping the factory open.
Van Dough: Then we go in and bust the unions, slash benefits, and after that sell the company. Right?
Richard Rich Sr.: No. We give it away.
Van Dough: [bangs his hand down on the table, and snaps his finger] We git it a - -
[suddenly looks despaired]
Van Dough: We give it away.
Richard Rich Sr.: Absolutely! We modernize it, of course, and retool. Then we turn the factory over to the workers.

Van Dough: [to his long-suffering secretary, who's been rubbing his temples] No, clockwise. I said, massage CLOCKWISE. Migranes are bad enough without your incompetence. Get out!

Professor Keenbean: [taped to a chair] AAAH!
[Ferguson rams Keenbean into wall and starts choking him]
Van Dough: [eating Keenbean's sandwich] Come on, Professor, play nice. You think I'm enjoying this?
Professor Keenbean: [gagging] Yesss.

Richard Rich Sr.: [singing the passcode to open the family vault] We ain't got a barrel of money.
Regina Rich: Maybe we're ragged and funny.
Richard Rich Sr., Regina Rich: But we'll travel along-singing our song-side by side.
Vault Security System: Code accepted.
Van Dough: Thank you, Beavis and Butthead.

Van Dough: [while interrogating Professor Keenbean] You told me what this machine can do to a person. How'd you like to spend the rest of your life as a bedpan?