Itchy Itchiford
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Quotes for
Itchy Itchiford (Character)
from All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

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All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
Charlie: Hey, wait. That looks like a water main.
Itchy Itchiford: Naw, water mains are green. This is red!
Charlie: Itchy, you're color blind. You've always been color blind.
Itchy Itchiford: That's true, but this is green.
Charlie: Its red.
Itchy Itchiford: Red?
[drills into pipe; outside, water bursts out of the ground, and the tunnel floods]

Charlie: Hey guys, waddua ya know, waddua ya say?
Itchy Itchiford: Yeah, waddua ya say, waddua ya know?

Vera: Things have changed, Charlie, since you've been gone... Life hasn't been no piece of cake.
Chihuahua Gambler: Carface ain't been treating us too good.
Vera: Things are tough, but we carry on...
Gambler Dog: [Charlie wins a game of craps] Could you spare a couple of bones, for old time's sake?
Charlie: Why settle for a couple of bones when you could have the whole bank?
[puts the craps bones in a slot machine and breaks the bank]
Itchy Itchiford: Ya won the jackpot! Charlie, I'm proud of ya.

Itchy Itchiford: In him there's the luck of the Irish.
Charlie: The pride of the German.
Itchy Itchiford: Even, he-he, a bit of Siam.
Charlie: Siam? There's the calm of the English.
Itchy Itchiford: The charm of the Spanish.
Charlie: A pedigree certainly ain't what I am. So call me a mixed-up pup.
Itchy Itchiford: You're a mixed-up pup.
Charlie: But the only way this pup knows is up!

Anne-Marie: Come on, Chawhee! You can do it, it's your birthday!
Itchy Itchiford: I don't care if it's his... his bar mitzvah. That horse is a gluepot.

Itchy Itchiford: Yah! Someone's got me by the tail!
Charlie: I got you by the tail!
Itchy Itchiford: Why don't you tell somebody you're gonna do that?
Charlie: You know, it's not worth it being with you. It's not.
Itchy Itchiford: Your hands are cold, too.

Charlie: All we need now is a couple of bucks.
Itchy Itchiford: A couple of bucks, a couple of bucks!
Anne-Marie: A couple, a couple. Mmm, yeah! A mom and dad.
Charlie: Yeah, sure.

Charlie: [after Itchy tells him to get ride of Anne-Marie] Aw, Itch, now the casino's gone. We've got to start all over; we need the girl more than ever.
Itchy Itchiford: No, boss, you're crazy! It's not business anymore, it's personal!
Charlie: Aw, come on, Itchy. Surely it's just business, I mean...
Itchy Itchiford: You're in love with the girl! You've got soft, you care about her!
Charlie: [furiously annoyed] Look, I don't care about the girl! I tell her things now and then! I pretend to be her best friend, but it's baloney!
Itchy Itchiford: I thought I was your best friend...
Charlie: [yells] YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! With her, it's just business - it's always been business! I'm USING the girl! And when we're done with her, we'll dump her in an orphanage! Is that okay with you!
Itchy Itchiford: [chastened] Sure, boss, anything you say.
[sees Anne-Marie, who overheard everything]
Itchy Itchiford: Uh-oh...
Anne-Marie: [crying, goes hurt] You're not my friend... You're a bad dog!

Itchy Itchiford: Charlie, let me think about this...
Charlie: No! Don't think! From now on, I'll do the thinking!

Charlie: [Itchy's dropping ice cream on him] Hey cut it out, would you? What do you see up there?
Itchy Itchiford: Mostly the backs of the buttons, but other than that...

Itchy Itchiford: [to a horse after it scares him] If you do that to me one more time, you are glue!

Itchy Itchiford: [thinking Charlie's a ghost] Take my 9 piece ratchet set, my oil tin! Don't go away without my Rolls Royce hood ornament!
[hits Charlie on the head with it]
Itchy Itchiford: Please, I've got a bad back! Ah, don't touch!

Itchy Itchiford: I can't help it, Charlie, I always itch when I'm nervous.
Charlie: Well don't be nervous!
Itchy Itchiford: Just scratch this!

Charlie: That Carface has something up his sleeve.
Itchy Itchiford: Yeah, a gun!
Charlie: And when I find out what it is, I'm going to ruin him.

Itchy Itchiford: Boss, Carface has got thugs, and they've got muscles, and knives, and he's got a monster.
Charlie: Monster?
Itchy Itchiford: Boss, they feed it!
Charlie: Monster?
Itchy Itchiford: Yes that's what I said, monster!

Charlie: Itchy, what happened to you?
Itchy Itchiford: You want to know what happened to me? I'll tell you what happened to me. Carface happened to me, with about 50 of his thugs. Oh!
Charlie: Itch, I'm sorry.
Itchy Itchiford: Well, look what else happened while you were sidetracked. See that?
[see a building on fire]
Itchy Itchiford: That's *our* place! You were going to fix Carface well, well he fixed us! You see boss, this whole thing's gone too far.


All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 (1996)
Itchy: I'm so hungry, I could eat a shoe.

Charlie: By the way, Carface, what did you trade Red for your collar?
Carface: He wanted the bottom of my shoes, or something. Hehehe. I don't even wear shoes. Ah, stupid cat.
Red: [from the hole which he went back to Hell through] Stupid dog! It was your soul!
[Demons rise up from the hole and pull Carface into the hole as the others look down]
Carface: Let me go! Red! This is not good! Red, no! Not the flames!
Itchy: What do you know? And I thought all dogs go to Heaven.

Itchy: [Just arrived in heaven] I can't believe it! I...
[pauses]
Itchy: I'm not itchy.
Charlie: That's funny. You look like him.
Itchy: [laughing] No, I mean for the first time in my life, I don't have to scratch!
Charlie: Of course not, Itch. This is heaven. Fleas go to the other place.

Charlie: [after the root beer falls through his mouth] What?
Itchy: [sees that his and Charlie's reflections are not there] Charlie, look! We ain't - oh! We're ghosts!
Charlie: Annabelle! OF ALL THE ROTTEN TRICKS!