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: Zeusy, I'm home! Zeus
: Hades, you are behind THIS? Hades
: You are correct, sir!
: So, Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld? Hades
: Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?
: Aw, Hades, don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration. Hades
: Love to, Babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regretfully have a full-time job that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to, but can't.
: My lord and lady, the Titans have escaped, and they're practically at our gates! Zeus
: Sound the alarm! Launch an immediate counterattack! Go! Go! Hermes
: Gone, babe.
: You ought to slow down. You'll work yourself to death. Hah! Work yourself to death!
: Oh, I kill myself! Hades
: [to himself
] If only. If only.
: Hey, hey, hey. Hold on, kiddo. What's your hurry? After all these years, is that the kind of "hello" you give your father? Young Hercules
: F-F-Father? Zeus
: Didn't know you had a famous father, did you? Surprise!
: I need more thunderbolts. Hermes
: Hephaestus has been captured, my lord. Everyone's been captured!
[Hermes is dragged away by Pain and Panic
: *I've* been captured! Whoa. Hey, watch the glasses.
: Fine work, my boy! You've done it! You're a true hero. Hera; Hercules' Mother
: You were willing to give your life to rescue this young woman. Zeus
: For a true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.
: Like children, they need to be reminded of the order of things!
: Set an example, brother. Turn them on each other, and back into our arms.
: Release the Kraken!
: I created them, and they reward my love with defiance? There will be no truce!
: [about Perseus
] Have I heard his prayers? This son holds no love for me!
: You may not want to be a god, Perseus, but after feats like yours, men will worship you. Be good to them. Be better than we were. And if you insist on continuing this mundane human existence, I won't have you do it alone. You're the son of Zeus, after all!
: Perseus! It's expensive where you're going...
[throws a coin at Perseus
: For the moment, let them enjoy a calm sea, a fresh breeze and each other. The girl is pretty and I was always sentimental. But for Jason, there are other adventures. I have not finished with Jason. Let us continue the game another day.
: If I had to punish *every* blasphemy, I would have *no followers*!
: The gods are best served by those who need their help the *least*.
: Hera my dear, You really *must* learn to win without cheating... or to at least lose *gracefully*.
: The gods want their entertainment. Zeus
: Jason goes too far. Hera
: Because he speaks the truth when the gods themselves go too far?
: You will learn someday that being half human, makes you stronger than a god.
: Why are you doing this? Hades
: You want me to say it, brother? You want me to say I'm afraid? Doesn't that go without saying? When mortals die, their souls go somewhere - there's no place where gods go when they die! There's nothing, just oblivion...
: Hades, I am so sorry for having done this to you. Can you ever forgive me? Hades
: Why do you ask this? Zeus
: Because I forgive you, for this.
: Thank you, my son.
: Perseus has won. My son has triumphed. Hera
: A fortunate young man. Zeus
: Fortune is ally to the brave. Thetis
: What a dangerous precedent. What if there more heroes like him? What if courage and imagination became everyday mortal qualities? What will become of us? Zeus
: We would no longer be needed. But, for the moment, there is sufficient cowardice, sloth and mendacity down there on Earth to last forever.
: Perseus and Andromeda will be happy together. Have fine sons... rule wisely... And to perpetuate the story of his courage, I command that from henceforth, he will be set among the stars and constellations. He, Perseus, the lovely Andromeda, the noble Pegasus, and even the vain Cassiopeia. Let the stars be named after them forever. As long as man shall walk the Earth and search the night sky in wonder, they will remember the courage of Perseus forever. Even if we, the gods, are abandoned or forgotten, the stars will never fade. Never. They will burn till the end of the time.
: Find, and fulfill your destiny!
: Release the Krakken!
: Know this, my son, you have started a war you cannot possibly win; the fates have already deemed me victorious.
: [after he jams the blade of Olympus into Kratos
] It did not have to be this way, my son. This path is of your choosing. Kratos
: A choice from the gods, is as useless as the gods themselves. Zeus
: Even now, as you draw your last breath, you continue to defy me?
: I lay down my arms Zeus
[puts down the Blade of Olympus, turns his back, and kneels
: Release me from this torment of my life. Zeus
: [picks up the Blade of Olympus to execute Kratos
] I will release you from your life, my son, but your torment is just beginning.
: You're asking for my permission to kill my own son! Ares, God of War
: What is it about him you have never seen in me? Zeus
: It's not just you. He has managed to do something that we gods have tried and failed to accomplish. He's earned humanity's love in every gesture, except fear. Ares, God of War
: And Xena has earned mine. So I guess we both have something to lose.
: Was it too much to expect you to honor your commitments? Ares, God of War
: I don't know. Was it to much to expect you to control your wife? Zeus
: Explain yourself. Ares, God of War
: She's helping Hercules. Or didn't you know that? Well seems to me your renewed vows aren't worth the papyrus they're printed on. Zeus
: If she's helping Hercules, she could lead him to- . No. No, she wouldn't dare. Ares, God of War
] She's a woman! Whatever you're thinking, you're probably right.
: Zeus. Zeus
: Poseidon. Zeus
: It's been many years. Zeus
: What do you see? Poseidon
: Thunder clouds. Zeus
: But no lightning. Stolen.
: Give me the bolt, lightning thief.
[Percy lobs the bolt to Zeus. In Zeus' grasp, the lightning bolt grows to its true size
: You're wise to betray your father. Percy Jackson
: I didn't steal it. And I have no connection to Poseidon. Zeus
: But tell me... if you didn't steal it, then who did? Percy Jackson
: Luke, son of Hermes.
[Hermes glances at Percy in surprise
] Percy Jackson
: You see, he was angry at you. *All* of you. He wanted you to destroy yourselves.
Female Heavenly Voice
: [after Kira's "Suspended in Time"
] Maybe just one moment, darling. Male Heavenly Voice
: Well, maybe just one moment. Or forever. I keep getting them mixed up, too.
Male Heavenly Voice
: We don't use those old-fashioned names any more. Still, it's me you want to speak to. Sonny
: I've come to get Kira. Male Heavenly Voice
: She's not leaving - it's impossible! Male Heavenly Voice
] That's what you think! Sonny
: How did you know I was going to say that? Male Heavenly Voice
: Put it this way - I'm a good guesser!
[Butters has been told to imagine what is "most prominent" in his mind; he thinks of his father first
] Stephen Stotch
: Butters? You are grounded, mister! You hear me?
[Butters' dad transforms into a hideous mutant
] Stephen Stotch
: GROUNDED! Butters
: No, no no no, no no no!
[his father disappears
: What are you doing? We need Santa! Butters
: I'm trying! Wonder Woman
: C'mon, kid, imagine Santa! Believe in Santa! Zeus
: You must believe in Santa! Aslan
] BELIEVE IN SANTA! RIGHT NOW!
: You're the champion of mankind, in a world that's frequently not fair and always not easy.
[much to Squidward's annoyance, "Fab and Fancy" has been cancelled in favor of "The Guitar Lord"
: Hey. I'm Zeus the Guitar Lord. I don't have a guitar yet. But if I did, I would want a really killer one like this!
[pulls out a paper, showing a red guitar
: [scoffs, upset
] He obviously doesn't know the first thing about music! This is an outrage! Zeus
: [shows his phone number: "1-32G-LORD"
] So, here's my number if you want to talk about...
: Hello? Squidward
] Where is my "Fab and Fancy"? Zeus
: Your... what? Squidward
: I'm quite certain you wouldn't know culture if it bit you on the guitar! Zeus
: Uh... hummm... I don't have a guitar. Squidward
: Do they just give a show to just anybody over there? Zeus
: Pretty much. My mom gave me this one for my birthday. Squidward
] Really? Zeus
: Yeah. I wanted a guitar or a star named after me... but you know, whatever. I guess a TV show is cool. Squidward
: It's that easy?
[hangs up phone and dials a number
: Hello? Bikini Bottom Public Access?
: Give me a TV show! Give me a TV show! I want a show!
[after learning that Amanda cheated on Lenny
] Greek Chorus
: Oh my God! It's more serious than we thought! Greek Chorus Leader
: It's very serious! Her marriage to Lenny is in crisis! Greek Chorus
: With the passage of time, even the strongest bonds become fragile! Greek Chorus Leader
: Great, fellas, it sounds like a fortune cookie! Greek Chorus
: Oh, Zeus! Most potent of gods! We implore thee! We need your help! Zeus! Great Zeus! Hear us! Hear us! We call out to thee! Zeus
: Um, this is Zeus. I'm not home right now, but you can leave a message and I'll get back to you. Please start speaking at the tone.
] Greek Chorus
: Call us when you get in. We need help!
[Sebastian and Zeus are competing in a game show
] Game Show Host
: Who is the worlds most perfect crab?
[Zeus pushes his buzzer
: I am!
: It's not living as such that's important, Theseus. It's living rightly.