Bob Cratchit
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Quotes for
Bob Cratchit (Character)
from A Christmas Carol (2009)

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Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983)
Cratchit: Tomorrow is Christmas and I was wondering if I could have... Half a day off?
Scrooge: Christmas, eh? Uh, er... I suppose so. But I'll dock you half a day's pay. Let's see, I pay you two shillings a day...
Cratchit: Two shillings and a halfpenny, Sir.
Scrooge: Oh yes, I gave you that raise three years ago.
Cratchit: Yes, sir, when I started doing your laundry.

Fred: Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge!
Scrooge: What's so merry about it? I'll tell you what Christmas is. It's just another work day, and any jackanape who thinks else should be boiled in his own pudding!
Cratchit: But sir, Christmas is a time for giving... a time to be with one's family.
Scrooge: I say, Bah humbug!
Fred: I don't care! I say, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas!
Cratchit: [clapping] Well said, Master Fred!
Scrooge: Cratchit, what are you doing?
Cratchit: [stops clapping] I was just trying to keep my hands warm, sir.

[Bob closes his book and starts to leave as the clock chimes 7:00. Scrooge looks at his watch]
Scrooge: Hmm... Two minutes fast.
[Bob stops then goes back to his desk]
Scrooge: Well, never mind those two minutes. You may go now.
Cratchit: Ah, oh thank you, sir! You're so kind!
Scrooge: Never mind that mushy stuff, just go! But be here all the other early the next day!
Cratchit: I will, I will, sir! And a Bah Humbug... I mean, a Merry Christmas to you, sir!

Cratchit: Oh, that Fred. Always so full of kindness.
Scrooge: Aye. He always was a little peculiar
[door bell rings]
Scrooge: ... AND stubborn!

Cratchit: Why, Mr. Scrooge, Merry Christmas.
[Scrooge barges in]
Cratchit: Won't you come in?
Scrooge: Merry Christmas? Humph! I have another bundle for you.
Cratchit: But sir, it's Christmas Day.
Scrooge: Christmas Day, indeed! Just another excuse for being lazy. And another thing, Cratchit: I've had enough of this 'half-day off' stuff! You leave me no alternative...
[changing his attitude]
Scrooge: ...but to give you...
Tiny Tim: [sees the contents of the now open bag] Toys!
Scrooge: Yes, toys. No no no no no no no!
Scrooge: I'm giving you a raise... and making you my partner.

Cratchit: Ha-ha. That Fred, always so full of kindness.
Scrooge: Aye, he always was a little peculiar
[the doorbell rings again]
Scrooge: AND stubborn!

Scrooged (1988)
Frank Cross: Grace, put yourself down for a towel, too.
Grace: What about my bonus?
Frank Cross: Towel and a facecloth.

[Frank notices a picture of Santa and Mrs. Claus on the wall]
Frank Cross: Grace, what in the hell is this?
Grace: Oh, it's a painting, one of my kids did. See, there's Santa Claus and there's Mrs. Claus.
Frank Cross: Honey, how many fingers does Mrs. Santa Claus have here?
Grace: Eleven.
Frank Cross: Eleven. Right.
[rips it down]
Frank Cross: It's crap. Lose it. I don't want it on the wall.
[tosses it in the wastebasket]

Daughter: Mom, when are we gonna get a real Christmas tree?
Grace: When they're free!

Frank Cross: You're staying here with me. We're working late.
Grace: But I have to take my son to the doctor.
Frank Cross: GRACE! When I work late, YOU work late!
Grace: But I made the appointment two months ago!
Frank Cross: [Inconsiderately] I DON'T CARE!
Frank Cross: [grabbing Grace]
Frank Cross: We're indivisible. If I'm working late, you GOTTA work late! If you can't work late, I can't work late! If I can't work late, I CAN'T WORK LATE!

Scrooge (1970)
[In front of a toy store window]
Bob Cratchit: Well, my loves, which one do you like best, eh?
Kathy Cratchit: I like the dolly in the corner.
Tiny Tim: I like all of them.
Bob Cratchit: Good boy? And why not one in particular?
Tiny Tim: Well... you said I can't have none of them, so I might as well like them all.

Ebenezer Scrooge: And be good enough to leave me alone during business hours.
Nephew Fred: Seven o'clock on Christmas Eve? That's not business hours, that's drudgery for the sake of it, and an insult to all men of goodwill.
Bob Cratchit: Here, here!
Nephew Fred: [surprised] Thank you, Bob Cratchit.
[Scrooge slowly turns on Cratchit]
Ebenezer Scrooge: Another word from you, Cratchit, and you will celebrate Christmas by losing your position.
[He then slowly turns back on Fred]
Ebenezer Scrooge: As for you, nephew, if you were in my will, I'd disinherit you!

Ebenezer Scrooge: [to Bob] You still don't recognise me, do you Cratchit?
Bob Cratchit: Yes. No. Er... Father Christmas?
Ebenezer Scrooge: Heh heh!
[pulls down his mask briefly]
Mrs. Cratchit: Mr. Scrooge? He's gone mad!
Bob Cratchit: No, no, my dear, I'm sure there's an explanation.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I want to see you in my office on Monday morning, when I will double your wages.
Bob Cratchit: He *has* gone mad!

Carry on Christmas (1969) (TV)
Bob Cratchit: Mr. Scrooge, is it alright if I go off now?
Ebenezer Scrooge: Yeah. Soon as you put all the books in alphabetical order, clean away the cobwebs, polish the floor and wash the windows. And a merry Christmas to ya.
Bob Cratchit: But Mr. Scrooge, it'll take me a whole week to get through that lot.
Ebenezer Scrooge: In that case, scrub the merry Christmas, make it happy New Year.

Ebenezer Scrooge: I'm going off now.
Bob Cratchit: [Looking around] I thought there was a funny smell!
Ebenezer Scrooge: I'll thump you!

Bob Cratchit: Mr Scrooge, I was wondering, could you make a little advance to me?
Ebenezer Scrooge: [Turns to face the camera] Not only long and stupid, but bent to boot!

A Christmas Carol (1951)
Bob Cratchit: Mr. Scrooge?
Ebenezer: I'm busy.
Bob Cratchit: Well, it's about Mr. Marley, sir! He's dying!
Ebenezer: Well, what do you want me to do about it? If he's dying, he's dying.

Ebenezer: You'll want the whole day off tomorrow, I suppose.
Bob Cratchit: If quite convenient, sir.
Ebenezer: It's not convenient. And it's not fair! If I stopped you half a crown for it, you'd think yourself ill used, wouldn't you? But you don't think me ill used if I pay a day's wages for now work, hmm?
Bob Cratchit: 'Tis only once a year, sir.
Ebenezer: That's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December.
Bob Cratchit: Yes, sir. I'm sure I'm very sorry, sir, to cause you such an inconvenience. It's the family more than me, sir. They put their hearts into Christmas as it were, sir.
Ebenezer: Yes, and put their hands into my pockets as it were, sir. I suppose you'd better have the whole day. But be back all the earlier the next morning.
Bob Cratchit: I will indeed, sir. Thank you, sir! It's more than generous of you, sir.
Ebenezer: Yes, I know it is, you don't have to tell me.

A Christmas Carol (1999) (TV)
Bob Cratchit: I was wondering if you'd like Mr. Marley's name removed from the sign outside.
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: No; time will erase it at no cost to us.

Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: You find my nephew amusing, Cratchit.
Bob Cratchit: He's a very pleasant fellow, sir.
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: You're another Christmas lunatic like him.
Bob Cratchit: If you say so, sir.
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: Oh, it seems you doubt me, Mr. Cratchit. What are you, then?
Bob Cratchit: Your clerk, Mr. Scrooge.
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: My fifteen shilling a week clerk, with a wife and family, yet you babble about "Merry Christmas." I'll retire to Bedlam.

A Christmas Carol (2001)
Bob Cratchit: [spotting two mice on Scrooge's shoulder] Mr. Scrooge, sir, there's two mice.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Never mind the mice, they were here on time.

Bob Cratchit: I'll make it up to you, Sir!
Ebenezer Scrooge: No, Mr Cratchit! I'll make it up to you!

Scrooge (1935)
Fred: I believe it has done me good and will do me good, and I say God bless it!
Bob Cratchit: Hear hear! Hear hear!

"Dickensian: Episode #1.1" (2015)
Ebeneezer Scrooge: Cratchit, bring me the Curiosity Shop account. I saw a light and enquired at the oyster shop. They came back last night, though the old man's granddaughter is sick. Come on, come on.
[Bob Cratchit hands over the ledger]
Ebeneezer Scrooge: If I'm not mistaken - which I never am when it concerns my money in other people's pockets - they left with their debt unpaid. Ah, there see! Eight shillings and thruppence. Do collect, Jacob, before the child dies, won't you? Before we find ourselves faced with drawn curtains and complaints about the cost of burial.
Bob Cratchit: We intend to collect while he tends his sick granddaughter? And on Christmas Eve?
Ebeneezer Scrooge: What? Will all things stop because she's ill? Mmm? Will he not eat, drink, relieve himself, step outside for a breath of air?
[He scoffs]
Ebeneezer Scrooge: Well, if all these things he can do whilst his own flesh and blood lies sick in her bed, well then why shouldn't we - who have no such attachment - go about our business in a similar fashion?

"Dickensian: Episode #1.6" (2016)
Bob Cratchit: Mr Marley made me the loan, sir.
Ebeneezer Scrooge: And you thought to renegotiate terms without the agreement of the surviving partner? Then you must surely have consulted with Jacob Marley's ghost. Mmm? Is that it?
Bob Cratchit: I just needed a month's grace.
Inspector Bucket: What exactly has he done?
Ebeneezer Scrooge: Cratchit has taken it upon himself to move his debt from Marley's ledger to his own, reducing the immediate burden and amortising it over a lengthier term.
Inspector Bucket: Reducing what he owes?
Ebeneezer Scrooge: Mmm...
[consulting the ledger]
Ebeneezer Scrooge: Increasing it, in fact, by a sparing margin.
Bob Cratchit: It seemed right.
Ebeneezer Scrooge: Right? What do you know of right? Jacob Marley had to be dead in order for you to do this. Well, if you think you have your man, Inspector, snap his neck and be quick about it...

A Christmas Carol (1984) (TV)
Ebenezer Scrooge: [curt and cutting] These are garments, Mr. Cratchit. Garments were invented by the human race as a protection against the cold. Once purchased, they may be used indefinitely for the purpose for which they are intended. Coal burns. Coal is momentary and coal is costly. There will be no more coal burned in this office today, is that quite clear, Mr. Cratchit?
Bob Cratchit: Yes, Sir.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Now please get back to work before I am forced to conclude that your services here are no longer required.