Casey Jones
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Quotes for
Casey Jones (Character)
from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Casey Jones: Lead the way, Toots.
April O'Neil: "Toots"?
Casey Jones: Babe? Sweetcakes? Ah - Princess! You wanna throw me a clue here? I'm drowning.
April O'Neil: Hey, you know what, that's okay. I'll do it myself.
Casey Jones: Fine, it's up to you. Just don't come around here asking for my help anymore.
April O'Neil: Casey, I wouldn't ask for your help if you were the last THING on the face of this planet.
Casey Jones: At least I know she thinks of me...
[Casey sprawls out on the porch swing; it breaks and he falls on it to the ground]

Casey Jones: [about April's farmhouse] Hey, didn't they use this place in The Grapes of Wrath?
April O'Neil: Very funny. I told you, I haven't been up here in years.

Casey Jones: This is great. First it was The Farm That Time Forgot and now this. Why don't I ever fall in with people who own condos? Probably hard to get good maid service in a sewer. Maybe you guys should try Roto Rooter, huh?

Thug: [of Raph] What the hell was that?
Thug: I - I don't know.
Casey Jones: [jumps down next to them] Now *that*, was a crime, you purse-grabbing pukes. And *this* is the penalty.
[knocks them over with his hockey stick]
Casey Jones: Two minutes for slashing...
[does it again]
Casey Jones: Two minutes for hooking...
Casey Jones: And let's not forget my personal favorite: two minutes for high sticking.
Raphael: [jumps in and knocks him down] How about a five-minute game misconduct for roughing, pal?
Casey Jones: Hey, Bogey... who died and made you referee? You did your job, now get out of here and let me do mine, all right? These JV low lifes need to be taught a lesson.
Raphael: Not like that they don't. Not from you.
Casey Jones: [turns to see the thugs running away, turns back] Well, it looks like you're the one who needs to be taught a lesson, pal.
[pulls out two ball bats]
Casey Jones: The class is Pain 101. Your instructor is Casey Jones.
Raphael: Look, I don't wanna fight you.
Casey Jones: Yeah, well, tough rocks, pal.

Donatello: You're a claustrophobic.
Casey Jones: You want a fist in the mouth? I've never even looked at another guy before.

Casey Jones: [Raph's hat has come off, revealing his face] Hey, what are you, some sort of punker?
Raphael: Huh?
Casey Jones: [baiting] God, I hate punkers... Especially bald ones with green make-up who wear... masks over ugly faces.
Raphael: That's it.
Casey Jones: [as Raph lunges] Ooh.
Raphael: New batter!
[Raph swings at Casey with the bat & missed]
Casey Jones: Strike one!
[Raph swings again and misses]
Casey Jones: What a wiffer!
[Raph jumps over Casey & hits him with the bat]
Raphael: Home run! Raphael wins 1-nothing!
Casey Jones: New game, round head.
[reaches behind and grabs a Cricket bat]
Casey Jones: Cricket!
Raphael: Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!
Casey Jones: I'll show ya!
[hits Raphael with the bat]

Gang Leader: What are we just standing here for? Let's get him!
Casey Jones: [brandishing golf club] Do you wanna be first, Junior?

[Tatsu does his grunt as Casey immediately notices Tatsu, he tries to mimic his grunt in a playful way]
Casey Jones: Uh, you know... A little um...
[acting like he is spraying something in his mouth]
Casey Jones: Primatene might just help to clear that up there.
[Tatsu gave Casey a striaght punch towards his face, knocking him to the floor. As Casey gets up]
Casey Jones: That's going to cost you, Tinkerbell.
[Tatsu gave Casey a left hook to Casey's face, knocking to the floor again. As Casey gets up]
Casey Jones: You know, I don't think that you're listening.
[Tatsu kicks Casey, launching him to the air and crashing into the crates. Casey tries to get up after the injuries he sustained from Tatsu]
Casey Jones: You know, I'm starting to pick up... on a little language barrier thing going here.
[Tatsu kicks Casey in the crotch, then a left roundhouse kick to his face, and then a left hook to his face, knocking him to floor with the injuries he sustained from Tatsu's attack. Casey, who is injured manages to reach for a golf club and as Tatsu approaches him, Casy struck Tatsu in the stomach with his golf club. As Tatsu aches in extreme pain]
Casey Jones: Fore!
[Casey strikes Tatsu like a golf ball, sending him flying towards the wall with crates, knocking him out]
Casey Jones: [kisses the golf club] I'll never call golf a dull game again.

April O'Neil: Oh, Casey, hi.
Casey Jones: Hi? I look like I just called Mike Tyson a sissy and all you can say is "Hi"?
April O'Neil: You don't need an ambulance, do you?
Casey Jones: No, but...
April O'Neil: Just shut up and kiss me, OK? I got a report to do.
Casey Jones: I love it when you're pushy.
April O'Neil: Yeah?
[they kiss]

Splinter: Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki, but something much worse comes for you. For when you die, it will be...
[Shredder throws a hidden knife; Splinter catches it, releasing the spear and letting Shredder fall from the building and land in the back of a garbage truck]
Splinter: ...Without honor.
Casey Jones: Oops!
[Casey Jones pulls the lever of the garbage truck and activates its compactor]

Casey Jones: [to the Foot soldiers of Raph] You guys mind telling me what you're doing to my little green pal over there, hm?
[sees April]
Casey Jones: Oh, who is the babe?
Leonardo: Who the heck is that?
Michaelangelo: Wayne Gretzky on steroids?

April O'Neil: My nearest neighbors are about four miles away. I need to get to a phone and call my boss.
Casey Jones: You mean Charles?
April O'Neil: Yes; how did you know that?
Casey Jones: He left a message on your machine, uh, just before we got out...
April O'Neil: And?
Casey Jones: Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper. Um... You were fired.
April O'Neil: I just saved myself?
Casey Jones: [oblivious to the dark tone] Mm-hm.
Donatello, Michaelangelo: Uh-oh.
April O'Neil: What did you do? Did you take classes in insensitivity?
Casey Jones: I was just trying to break it to you easy.
April O'Neil: Oh, well you FAILED miserably...
Casey Jones: Hey, broadzilla, you wouldn't even be standin' here if it weren't for me, okay?
April O'Neil: Oh, well what do you want? You want a thank you?
Casey Jones: ...No. It's me who should thank you for that priviledge, right?
April O'Neil: Fine!
Casey Jones: Yeah.
April O'Neil: Thank you.
Casey Jones: No, thank YOU!
April O'Neil: You're welcome!
Casey Jones: YOU'RE welcome!
[they go into two separate rooms and slam the doors]
Donatello: Gosh, it's kinda like Moonlighting, isn't it?
[Michaelangelo nods]

Charles: [on the answering machine dangling from its wire] April, it's Charles... I'm sorry. I don't know how else to say this: You're fired, April. I'm sorry... I know this comes as a blow.
[the wire burns off and the machine falls, hitting a Foot Soldier over the head]
Casey Jones: You can say that again, Chuck.

Casey Jones: [sighs after knocking out two Foot Soldiers in rapid succession] It's a talent.

Gang Leader: We have a loyalty to the Shredder.
Splinter: The Shredder uses you. He poisons your minds to obtains for that which he desires. He cares nothing for you or the people you hurt.
Gang Leader: We're family.
Casey Jones: Family? Did you say family? You call this here and that...
[points to Tatsu, who he just knocked out]
Casey Jones: ...down there, family?

Splinter: Who are you?
Casey Jones: Casey Jones, a friend.

[hurling insults in alphabetical order]
Casey Jones: Not even close, Zip Neck. Professor and Mary Anne. Happily ever after.
Donatello: No way, Atomic Mouth, Gilligan was her main man. They'd be married and have six kids by now.
Casey Jones: Gilligan was a geek, Barfaroni!
Donatello: You're the geek, Camel Breath!
Casey Jones: Dome head.
Donatello: Elf lips!
[Casey finishes fixing the engine]
Casey Jones: Okay let's give this a try, funkoid!
Donatello: Here it goes... What are we on?
Casey Jones: Uh, G.
Donatello: Here it goes, gak face!
Casey Jones: I'm ready, hose brain!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)
April O'Neil: What's your name?
Casey Jones: Casey Jones.
April O'Neil: [smiles] Hey...
[Mikey appears]
Michelangelo: One question... so are you two like a thing?

Casey Jones: Everything's normal. And the next thing I know, I see a garbage truck, and it starts launching manhole covers!

Casey Jones: [on the Turtles] Who are these guys?
April O'Neil: They're my friends.

Casey Jones: [to the Turtles] Do not eat us!

Raphael: What are you, chicken?
Casey Jones: Who're you calling chicken, turtle?

Casey Jones: Kiss me, it'll make for a great diversion!
[April doesn't kiss Casey, people walk past them]
April O'Neil: The idea is to divert attention away from you!

Rocksteady: [gestures towards Shredder] It's him!
Bebop: Hey, hey, hey, speak from your heart!
Rocksteady: Hey Mr Shredder! Big fan of your work, especially your early stuff!
Bebop: My name is Bebop. This is Rocksteady. I know that's a crazy name, right, but his ancestors are from Finland.
Rocksteady: Yeah, that's right, I'm Finnish. 'Cause when I start a beatdown, I always FINNISH it!
Bebop: What!
Rocksteady: Yeah, I said it!
Bebop: Did you hear that?
Rocksteady: I said it!
Bebop: [laughs] My man!
Rocksteady: My man!
Bebop: Gimme that foot!
[Bebop and Rocksteady proceed to high five each other with their feet]
Casey Jones: [Bangs on the cage in the Police van] Hey! Shut up back there!

Casey Jones: [spots Splinter in the lair] Guys, nobody move! Don't move... there is a giant rat back there.
Raphael: Uh, yeah, we've seen him around here before. You know, there's only one way to get rid of him. You gotta get low...
Michelangelo: Low...
Raphael: When you go at him, you gotta go fast, gotta go hard.
Michelangelo: We believe in you, Casey Jones! It's on you, bro!
Raphael: Yeah, exactly.
Michelangelo: Three, two, one... go!
[Casey charges at Splinter... who knocks him down]
Splinter: Giant rat: one. New guy: zero.
Raphael: [laughs] I can't believe it was that easy!

Deputy Warden Hamlett: Hey, Jones? They'll all yours.
Casey Jones: [puts on his cap and faces Shredder] What up, Big Daddy Lawbreaker? On behalf of the people of New York, welcome... to the big goodbye.
[shuts the paddy wagon's doors]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)
Casey Jones: Hey, guys! So, when do we get together and bust some skulls?
Leonardo: Hang on, Casey, you're not gonna be doing any head breaking this time, pal, sorry.
Casey Jones: What was that? You wanna run that by me again?
Raphael: We need someone to remain here to make sure the time bandit here doesn't get out of hand.
Casey Jones: Gotcha.

Casey Jones: Enough of this camaraderie. When do we get to bust some skulls?

Casey Jones: What do you say we get together and bust some skulls?

Splinter: There must have been a battle.
Casey Jones: I knew it, I'm missing all the fun.

Casey Jones: Bet you guys feel lucky to be going back, right?
Benkei: We're lucky. We're going back.
Guards in unison: Not!
[slap high fives]
Casey Jones: This is really gonna screw up history.

Casey Jones: [leaning on baseball bat, to Raphael] Hey Raph, how'd your brain implant go, good?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Good, the Bad and Casey Jones (#2.8)" (2014)
Casey Jones: You boys picked the wrong night!
Fong: Nice outfit... Pfft, who's this clown?
Casey Jones: I'm the last guy you'll see before you wake up in the hospital.

April O'Neil: Well, well... Casey Jones finally makes it to class. What a surprise. You ready for the big trig exam?
Casey Jones: Trig exam? Oh, yeah... I was up all night... studying...
April O'Neil: Really... Did your homework punch you in the face?

Raphael: You're the one who did this!
Casey Jones: They were following you too, dude!
Raphael: Don't 'dude' me, dude!

Raphael: You're a pretty good fighter, Jones. Sure, you're raw, unfocused, CRAZY... But not bad.
Casey Jones: You're not too bad yourself... For an amphibian.

Casey Jones: Mutant monsters and robot ninjas are taking over my city. How long before those freaks hurt somebody close to me? Like my dad, my little sister, April... Well, I'm not waitin' around to find out. All my life I knew I was meant for something greater. THIS is my call. My destiny. A true warrior's gotta be prepared. Hm... Who do you...? Who do you think you are? A ninja? Bring it, punk! Scum-sucking, mutated freaks of the world, prepare to meet... Casey Jones!

Casey Jones: Another mutant?
Raphael: You got a problem with that?
Casey Jones: Wait, what are you, like, some kinda turtle ninja?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: In Dreams (#3.5)" (2014)
April O'Neil: Hey guys? We're heading down to the store.
Casey Jones: Any requests?
Michelangelo: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I need some spicy gummy worms. Need!
Casey Jones: Yeah, he's not going to have that.
April O'Neil: That store is tiny, Mikey. It's the kind of place that has peanut butter OR jelly.

Casey Jones: If I were you guys, I'd be...
Dire Beaver: Leaving? My thoughts exactly. Come Beavers, let us leave this world for one that is more...
[Casey taps him with his bat]
Dire Beaver: All right, we're going! Big bully!

[last lines]
Donatello: Wait a second... did April kiss me a while back?
Casey Jones: Dream on, Donnie. Dream on.

Bernie: For forty years, I have protected the Plug to ensure that the Dream Beavers remain trapped! For forty years, I have remained awake so that they cannot drain my life force!... But they are always near. They attack anyone close to me, and drain the life from them when they sleep! That's why I came out here, far away from everyone!
Casey Jones: Not far enough... they're draining my friends right now!

TMNT (2007)
Casey Jones: [after seeing one of the monsters] You do realize that all I've got is a wooden baseball bat, right?

Raphael: Meet me on the roof.
Casey Jones: What is it?
Raphael: [pointing up] The roof! You know where the roof is, don't you?
Casey Jones: Pushy sidekick.

Casey Jones: [as April is driving recklessly] Can't this piece of junk go any faster?
April O'Neil: You wanna drive?
Casey Jones: I would as a matter of fact!
Karai: [to her ninja, as April and Casey still argue while leading the monster through the streets] You think they would be more concerned about the 13th monster.

Casey Jones: [to April, as they climb out of the over turned van] Nice parallel parking. Next time, I'm driving!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Manhattan Project: Part 2 (#2.14)" (2014)
Casey Jones: Uh, hey April... So I'm kind of, uh... trapped... inside this giant worm thing. It's cool... I'm-I'm alive, and stuff.
April O'Neil: You're INSIDE THE WORM? Do you get a signal in there?

Casey Jones: Yo! Alien freak-jobs!
The Kraang: It is humans known as 'humans'.

April O'Neil: You did it, Donnie! You saved the city!
Casey Jones: I'm gonna take back everything I said about you, Donnie. You rule.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Way of Invisibility (#1.7)" (2003)
Raphael: You didn't come all the way down here for the nickel tour. What's the 4-1-1 streetside?
Casey Jones: Graffiti. It's everywhere, all over town.
Michelangelo: And I think I speak for everyone in the room when I say, DUH!
Donatello: We're New Yorkers, Casey. We've seen graffiti before.
Casey Jones: Uh-uh, not this kind.
[Casey holds up a picture of a spear skewering four turtles]
Casey Jones: I think someone's trying to send you a message.

Casey Jones: These the only DVDs you got?
Michelangelo: Yeah. In fact, why don't you borrow some and watch them at home?
Casey Jones: That's okay, I'll watch them here.
[walks over to the DVD player]
Casey Jones: C'mon, eject, EJECT! You useless piece of...!
[smashes the machine; Mikey screams]
Casey Jones: Whoa, think your player's broken.
Donatello: Uh, no problem... I'll fix it, in the morning!
Casey Jones: [to Donnie] Whatcha working on?
Donatello: Uh... boring stuff! Really really boring stuff!

[Splinter thought Casey was an intruder]
Splinter: Please forgive my rash actions.
Casey Jones: No problemo.
Splinter: Although next time, you would be wise to heed the ancient Japanese proverb: Phone first!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Casey Jones vs. The Underworld (#3.14)" (2015)
[Casey Jones confronts a new member of the Purple Dragons]
Casey Jones: Ooh, a new recruit. You ready to taste some asphalt, scum?
Hun: Not a recruit... I'm the new leader: Hun!

Hun: Hockey boy, I will end you!
Casey Jones: Let's go!

Casey Jones: See you later, scum! I mean, Hun!
[knocks Hun into a vat of cheese]

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Meet Mondo Gecko (#3.17)" (2015)
Casey Jones: If I can't outskate a fish, I'm retiring my blades!

Casey Jones: I don't even know what a gecko is!
Mondo Gecko: You're looking at one!

Mondo Gecko: Cowabunga!
Michelangelo: Booyakasha!
Casey Jones: Goongala!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Meet Casey Jones (#1.4)" (2003)
Casey Jones: Somebody's gotta stop those Purple Dragons. Somebody's gotta make them pay! And they will pay. They'll all pay! 'Cuz Casey Jones is on the job!

[Leo, Mikey, and Don arrive in the Battle Shell to back up Casey and Raph]
Casey Jones: Friends of yours?
Raphael: Brothers, actually.
Casey Jones: I can see the family resemblance.
Michelangelo: I'm the pretty one!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond the Known Universe (#4.1)" (2015)
Casey Jones: [sees a suited-up April] Looking good, Red!
Donatello: Homina homina homina...

Casey Jones: We're out like Vanilla Ice!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Of Rats and Men (#2.12)" (2014)
Michelangelo: [sees the cat] Can we keep her?
Donatello: You know, Master Splinter IS a rat.
Casey Jones: Yeah! What if that cat goes nuts and attacks him? She could eat off his body for months!
Donatello: You know, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.

Irma Langinstein: I mean, rats are relatively harmless. They also share many similarities to humans, which is why they're used in scientific experiments.
Casey Jones: [whispers to April] Does she ever shut up?

"Super Power Beat Down: Kick Ass vs. Casey Jones (#1.13)" (2014)
Casey Jones: Welcome to Pain 101. Your instructor is Casey Jones.

[Kick-Ass bites Casey Jones on the arm]
Kick-Ass: I hope you got your rabies shots you stupid, slimy son-of-a-bitch.
Casey Jones: The joke's on you - I already got rabies.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Dragons Rising (#4.10)" (2005)
[card game]
Splinter: It is as the great Sage Sakamoto said, "Read them and weep!"
Casey Jones: No way! A royal flush?
Raphael: Aw, come on, Master Splinter, cut us a break!
Splinter: If one cannot afford to pay, one should not play. Suckers!

[first lines]
Casey Jones: You know, it's taken me quite a while, but I've really come a long way. I finally got my temper under control. However, there are still a few certain things that can really make my blood boil. Hun is one of them certain things. Me and him, we go way back. When my old man wouldn't pay him for protection money, they torched our store. Yeah, me and him, we still got a score to settle. No matter how I try to plan out this problem, the two of us are headed for a bad, bad, showdown. Who knows? Maybe I haven't come as far as I thought...

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Secret Origins: Part 1 (#2.6)" (2004)
April O'Neil: Sergent! I just got a warning message from a secret terror organization calling themselves...
Casey Jones: Goongala Cowabunga!

April O'Neil: [Talking on a cell phone to Donatello] Hey guys I can't believe I'm talking to you!
Casey Jones: Me neither. When did you get three-way calling?
April O'Neil: [April slaps Casey] Hello? Alive?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Wrath of Tiger Claw (#2.19)" (2014)
Casey Jones: If it wasn't for the fact that I'm gonna die, this would be so cool!

Tiger Claw: You will pay for what you did to me. The suffering you caused, the pain I endured!
Casey Jones: You're not still mad about the whole worm thing, are you?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Nano (#1.5)" (2003)
April O'Neil: Why of all the myopic, misogynistic...
Casey Jones: How are supposed to talk when you don't even speak English?

April O'Neil: [to Casey] You aren't going anywhere, mister. You wait right here till I get some more bandages.
Raphael: You wouldn't be milking this boo-boo thing, wouldja Case?
Casey Jones: Hey, show a little concern, shell-for-brains.
Raphael: [winks and nudges Casey] You owe us one, pal.
Casey Jones: Definitely.
[winces in pain]
Casey Jones: Ow!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fungus Humungous (#2.10)" (2014)
April O'Neil: So, what's with the mask? I mean, it's not like the turtles don't know who you are.
Casey Jones: Same reason people have worn masks throughout history... Cause it looks cool.

Casey Jones: That was HIDEOUS!
Raphael: Dude, you put your nose in a New York City sewer. What'd you expect?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: A Foot Too Big (#3.2)" (2014)
Bigfoot: Love Donnie!
Donatello: But, but, but...
Bigfoot: Bigfoot am lady.
Donatello: That... is... great?
Casey Jones: [snickering] That... is great!

Leonardo: So, she's wearing makeup now, and she keeps making soup for Donnie.
Casey Jones: [snickers] Do you think she's his type?
Leonardo: Maybe after a shave!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Plan 10 (#2.21)" (2014)
Casey Jones: [in April's body] Cool.
April O'Neil: [in Casey;s body] Stop pinching your own butt, Casey!

Casey Jones: [watching TV] This show's cool, but where are the subtitles? I hate dubbed anime.

"Robot Chicken: Super Guitario Center (#7.11)" (2014)
Donatello: April, please just go on one date with Casey, he's a good guy...
April O'Neil: Casey is a jobless loser in sweats!
Casey Jones: Great start to my morning.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand (#4.14)" (2016)
Casey Jones: The world isn't big enough for TWO Casey Jones!
April O'Neil: I don't know, it's like having a twin sister.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: City at War: Part 2 (#2.15)" (2004)
Michaelangelo: [after Michelangelo finds April's Shop] Well, there was this big fight...
Casey Jones: Whoa! Big fight? Why wasn't I invited?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Adventures in Turtle Sitting (#4.23)" (2006)
Casey Jones: What do we do?
April O'Neil: It's Don, right? Try talking to him!
Casey Jones: Talk to him, are you nuts? He's a savage, freaky monster, and YOU JUST WHACKED HIM IN THE FACE WITH A BROOM!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Invasion: Part 2 (#2.26)" (2014)
Casey Jones: [rams Kraang Prime] THIS IS SO METAL!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Annihilation: Earth! Part 2 (#3.26)" (2015)
[last lines]
Casey Jones: [in a spaceship] THIS IS AWESOME!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Casey Jones: Outlaw Hero (#3.23)" (1989)
Casey Jones: This city's a cess pool of crime. Somebody's gotta clean it up and that someone is me. Not even criminal mutants can stop... Casey Jones!
Raphael: That guy's seen too many "Filthy Harry" movies!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Annihilation: Earth! Part 1 (#3.25)" (2015)
[first lines]
Casey Jones: Whoa, that Triceraton sounds so cool. I wish I could have fought a real life dino-dude.
Raphael: Yeah right, that dino-dude would have stomped you into a Casey puddle in five seconds flat!
Casey Jones: Whatever Raph, Casey Jones eats dinosaur meat for breakfast!
April O'Neil: Eww!

Turtles Forever (2009) (TV)
Casey Jones: So... I still don't get it. Which Shredder is back? Doing what? To who?
1988 Michelangelo: All I know is we wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for your stupid Shredder.
Raphael: OUR Shredder? YOUR Shredder started this whole "stupid mess" with his stupid Technodrome in the stupid first place!
1988 Raphael: Yeah, but your Shredder's like totally psycho-evil.
1988 Donatello: Ours is just decaf.
1988 Leonardo: Yeah. He won't keep you up at night.
Casey Jones: ...Your doubles ain't exactly playing with a full deck, are they?
Michelangelo: And they're really annoying.
Casey Jones: Gotcha. Up to speed now.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return to New York (#3.9)" (2015)
Donatello: It's not as heavily armored as the Shellraiser, but it's more maneuverable, has more weapons, and gets better gas mileage.
Casey Jones: Then let's stop jabbering and build this sucka!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Search for Splinter: Part 1 (#1.25)" (2003)
Casey Jones: [Being a distraction] What kind of customer service is this?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Worlds Collide: Part 1 (#3.4)" (2004)
[as Casey and April kiss, the ground rumbles]
Casey Jones: Whoa...

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Target: April O'Neil (#2.6)" (2013)
Casey Jones: So... you owe these guys money or something.
April O'Neil: Or something.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fallen Angel (#1.8)" (2003)
[first lines]
Casey Jones: I guess you could say I'm having a bad hair day... and a bad head day, and a bad neck day, and a bad shoulder day, and a bad pretty much everything right down to my pinky toe day. That walking landmass down there, I have him to thank for my current full body makeover.
Hun: Tonight's cage match championship will determine which team will win the honor of ridding the Purple Dragons of a most hated enemy!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Christmas Aliens (#3.11)" (2004)
Casey Jones: Don't worry, I'm ok! A door just slammed my head!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Worlds Collide: Part 2 (#3.5)" (2004)
Casey Jones: Wake up, Raphy, Christmas came early this year!
[tosses Raph a bag containing weapons]
Raphael: Thank you, Santa!