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: Princess Jasmine, you're very... Genie
: Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious! Punctual! Aladdin
: Punctual! Princess Jasmine
: Punctual? Genie
: Sorry. Aladdin
: Uh, beautiful! Genie
: Nice recovery.
: Wish fulfillment? Genie
: Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's it. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.
: [as a female flight attendant
] Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye. Genie
: [back to normal
] Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa? Aladdin
: Oh, you sure showed me. Now, about my three wishes. Genie
: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by one, boy! Aladdin
: Ah, no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave, huh. You did that on your own.
[Genie's mouth drops
: Oh, I feel sheepish.
[he turns into a sheep
: All right, you ba-a-a-ad boy. But no more freebies.
: [as Jack Nicholson
] All right, Sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it? Aladdin
: What? Genie
: [pointing to each word on a blackboard
] Tell her, the TRUUUUUUTH!
: Father, I choose Prince Ali! Jafar
: Prince Ali left. Aladdin
: [standing in the doorway to the balcony
] Better check your crystal ball again, Jafar!
: Genie, I wish for your freedom. Genie
: One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I... What? Aladdin
: [holds the lamp up to Genie
] Genie, you're free!
: You're a prisoner? Genie
: It's all part and parcel, the whole genie gig.
[grows to a gigantic size
: Phenomenal cosmic powers!
[shrinks down inside the lamp
: Itty bitty living space!
: Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her. Aladdin
: Huh? Genie
: She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature.
: Are you afraid to fight me yourself, you cowardly snake? Jafar
: A snake, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how snakelike I can be!
[he turns into a giant snake
: They wanna make me Sultan. No, they wanna make Prince Ali Sultan. Without you, I'm just Aladdin. Genie
: Al, you won! Aladdin
: Because of you. The only reason anyone thinks I'm worth anything is because of you. What if they find out I'm not really a prince? What if Jasmine finds out? I'd lose her. Genie, I can't keep this up on my own. I... I can't wish you free. Genie
] Fine, I understand. After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out. Now, if you'll excuse me, Master!
[disappears into lamp resentfully
[Princess Jasmine is in disguise, and hanging out with Aladdin, when the guards capture him
] Princess Jasmine
: Let him go! Razoul
] Looky here, men. A street mouse.
[throws her down
] Princess Jasmine
: Unhand him!
[pulls off the hood of her cloak
] Princess Jasmine
: By order of the Princess. Razoul
: [everyone falls silent and bows
] Princess Jasmine! Aladdin
: The Princess? Abu the Monkey
: [peaks out from a jar
] The Princess? Razoul
: What are you doing outside the palace? And with this street rat? Princess Jasmine
: That's not your concern. Do as I command. Release him! Razoul
: Well, I would, Princess, except my orders come from Jafar. You'll have to take it up with him. Princess Jasmine
: Believe me, I will.
: All this for a loaf of bread?
: You won't get away so easy! Aladdin
: You think that was easy?
: Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Huh.
: Some all powerful Genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way outta here. Genie
: [stomps his foot to stop Aladdin, Abu, and Carpet from leaving
] Excuse me? Genie
: Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so, not right now. You're getting your wishes, so sit down!
: Wow. The palace looks pretty amazing, huh? Princess Jasmine
] Oh... It's wonderful. Aladdin
: I wonder what it'd be like to live there, and have servants, and valets. Princess Jasmine
: Oh, sure. People who tell you where to go and how to dress. Aladdin
: That's better than here. You're always scraping for food and ducking the guards. Princess Jasmine
: You're not free to make your own choices. Aladdin
: Sometimes you feel so... Princess Jasmine
: You're just... Aladdin
, Princess Jasmine
: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we, Aladdin? Aladdin
: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught. Razoul
: [snatching Aladdin by the collar
] Gotcha! Aladdin
: I'm in trouble.
: I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name? Aladdin
: Uh... uh, Aladdin. Genie
: Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie?
[turns into a Scotsman
: Sounds like, 'Here, boy!'
: 'C'mon, Laddie!'
[turns into a dog
: I must've hit my head harder than I thought.
: I'm free. I'm free. Quick. Quick. Wish for something outrageous. Say, "I, I want the Nile." Wish for the Nile. Try that! Aladdin
: Uh... I wish for the Nile. Genie
: No way!
: Oh, does that feel good!
: [saving Jasmine from an irate merchant
] Thank you, kind sir. I'm so glad you found her. Aladdin
: [to Jasmine
] I've been looking all over for you! Princess Jasmine
] What are you doing? Aladdin
] Just play along. Farouk
: You, uh, know this girl? Aladdin
: Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She's a little crazy. Farouk
: She said she knew the sultan! Aladdin
: [gesturing to Abu
] She thinks the monkey is the sultan. Princess Jasmine
: [bowing to Abu
] O wise Sultan, how may I serve you?
[Abu mutters gibberish
: Tragic, isn't it? But, no harm done. Now, come along, sis. Time to go see the doctor. Princess Jasmine
: [to a camel
] Oh, hello, Doctor. How are you? Aladdin
: [through his teeth
] No, no, no, not that one... Come on, Sultan.
["Snake" Jafar has Aladdin in a tight squeeze
: You little fool. You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth. Iago
: Squeeze him, Jafar. Squeeze him like a- Awk!
[Genie elbows Iago and knocks him into the air
: Without the Genie, boy, you're nothing. Aladdin
: The Genie... The Genie! The Genie has more power than you'll ever have! Jafar
: What? Aladdin
: He gave you your power. He can take it away. Genie
: [smiling uncomfortably
] Al, what're you doing? Why are you bringing me into this? Aladdin
: Face it, Jafar. You're still just second best! Jafar
: [slightly shocked
] You're right. His power does exceed my own. But not for long.
: Wait, wait a minute. I'm... your master? Genie
: [gives Aladdin a mortar cap and diploma
] That's right! He can be taught!
: [picking up the lamp
] This is it? This is what we came all the way down here to...
[sees Abu take a ruby
: Abu! Nooo! Cave of Wonders
: Infidels! Abu the Monkey
: Uh-oh. Cave of Wonders
] You have touched the forbidden treasure! Now you will never again see the light of day!
: You are a worthless street rat. You were born a street rat, you'll die a street rat, and only your fleas will mourn you!
[the palace gates slam shut in front of Aladdin
: I'm not worthless. And I don't have fleas!
[he scratches his head
] Come on, Abu. Let's go home.
: [of "Prince Ali Ababwa"
] Jasmine will like this one. Aladdin
: And I'm pretty sure I'll like Princess Jasmine. Jafar
: Your Highness, no! I must intercede on Jasmine's behalf. This boy is no different from the others. What makes him think he is worthy of the Princess? Aladdin
: Your Majesty, I am Prince Ali Ababwa. Just let her meet me. I will win your daughter. Princess Jasmine
: How dare you? All of you! Standing around deciding my future? I am not a prize to be won!
] Let's not be too hasty! Heavyset Harlem
: [scoops Aladdin up in her arms and sings
] Still I think he's rather tasty!
: [seeing Achmed ride toward the palace
] Look at that, Abu. It's not every day you see a horse with two rear ends.
: So, three wishes. Hm, I want them to be good. What would you wish for? Genie
: Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in my case... Ah, forget it. Aladdin
: What? Genie
: No, I can't tell you. Aladdin
: C'mon, tell me. Genie
[Abu goes crazy and leaps onto Aladdin's head as they escape from the destructing Cave of Wonders
: Abu! Abu, this is no time to panic!
[sees that they're about to hit a wall
: Start panicking!
] Riffraff, street rat. I don't buy that. If only they'd look closer. Would they see a poor boy? No, siree! They'd find out there's so much more to me. Aladdin
: [sighs, no longer singing
] Someday, Abu, things are gonna change. We'll be rich, live in a palace, and never have any problems at all.
: Just... where did you say you were from? Aladdin
: [as Prince Ali Ababwa
] Oh, uh... uh, much farther than you've traveled, I'm sure. Jafar
: Try me.
: [after their magic carpet ride around the world
] It's all so magical. Aladdin
: [as Prince Ali
] Yeah. Princess Jasmine
] It's a shame Abu had to miss this. Aladdin
: Nah. He hates fireworks. He really doesn't like flying either. Uh... that is... um... Oh, no! Princess Jasmine
: [pulls off Aladdin's turban
] You *are* the boy from the market. I knew it! Why did you lie to me? Aladdin
: Jasmine, I'm sorry! Princess Jasmine
: Did you think I was stupid? Aladdin
: No! Princess Jasmine
: That I wouldn't figure it out? Aladdin
: No! I-I mean... I-I hoped you wouldn't. Uh... no, that-that's not what I meant! Princess Jasmine
: Who are you? Tell me the truth. Aladdin
: The truth? The truth, um... The-the truth is, I... I-I sometimes dress as a commoner, um, to escape the pressures of palace life. But I-I really am a prince. Princess Jasmine
: Why didn't you just tell me? Aladdin
: Well, you know, uh... um, royalty going out into the city in disguise, I mean, it sounds a little strange, don't you think? Princess Jasmine
: Hmm... Not that strange.
: [sniffs tearfully
] No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me. Sultan
: That's right! You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's that law that's the problem. Princess Jasmine
: Father? Sultan
: Well, am I Sultan or am I Sultan? From this day forth, the Princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy. Princess Jasmine
: Him! I choose... I choose you, Aladdin. Aladdin
] Call me Al.
: [hanging from the entrance of the Cave of Wonders
] Help me out! Jafar
: [in disguise
] Throw me the lamp! Aladdin
: I can't hold on! Give me your hand! Jafar
: First give me the lamp!
[Aladdin does so
: [laughs triumphantly
] Yes! At last!
[he grabs Aladdin's wrist
: What're you doing? Jafar
: Giving you your reward - your eternal reward!
[he pulls out a dagger and is about to stab Aladdin; Abu bites his arm, forcing him to drop the dagger; Jafar then throws Aladdin and Abu back down the Cave, just as it closes
: [chuckles, removing his disguise
] It's mine. It's all mine. I...
[he searches for the lamp, but can't find it
: Where is it? No! Noooooo!
: So, what'll it be, Master? Aladdin
: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right? Genie
: [as William F. Buckley
] Uh, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos. Aladdin
: Like? Genie
] Uh, rule #1: I can't kill anybody.
[cuts his head off
: So don't ask. Genie
: [fixes his head
] Uh, rule #2: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else.
[turns into a pair of lips and kisses Aladdin
: You little punim there. Genie
: [turns into a cross between slimy Genie and Peter Lorre
] Rule #3: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!
[he returns to normal
: Other than that, you got it.
[Aladdin has tricked Jafar into wishing to be a more powerful genie than Genie
: The universe is mine to command! To control! Aladdin
: Not so fast, Jafar! Aren't you forgetting something? Jafar
: Huh? Aladdin
: You wanted to be a genie? You got it!
[cufflinks form on Jafar's wrists
: What? Aladdin
: And everything that goes with it.
[Aladdin holds up a black genie lamp, which sucks Jafar in
: No! No! Iago
: I'm getting out of here! Aladdin
: Phenomenal cosmic powers...
[Iago tries to flee, but Jafar grabs him
: Come on, you're the genie. I don't want, I don't...!
[both Jafar and Iago disappear in the lamp
: ...itty bitty living space. Genie
: Al, you little genius, you!
: Hey... can you make me a prince? Genie
: [opens 'Royal Recipes' book
] Uh, let's see. "Chicken à la King"?
: Nope. "Alaskan king crab".
[pulls out a crab clamped to his finger
: [flicking it off
] Ow. I hate when they do that. "Caesar salad-"
[arm with a knife raises from the book trying to stab him
: Aah! Et tu, Brute? No. Aha! "To make a prince."
: Jasmine? I'm sorry I lied to you about being a prince. Princess Jasmine
: I know why you did. Aladdin
: Well, I guess... this... is goodbye? Princess Jasmine
: Oh, that stupid law. This isn't fair! I love you.
[Genie wipes away a tear from his eyes
: Al, no problem. You've still got one wish left. Just say the word, and you're a prince again. Aladdin
: But, Genie, what about your freedom? Genie
: Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love! Al, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked.
: Ladies and gentlemen, a warm Agrabah welcome for Sorcerer Jafar! Jafar
: Now where were we? Ah, yes abject humiliation!
[He zaps Jasmine and Sultan with his staff, and they both bow to him. Rajah comes running at him
: Down, boy!
[He zaps Rajah, and the tiger turns into a kitten. Rajah meows
: Oh princess
[lifts Jasmine's chin with his staff
: there's someone I'm dying to introduce you to. Aladdin
: [Flying towards him on Carpet
] Jafar! Get your hands off her! Jafar
: [zaps Aladdin, Carpet flies away. Singing
] Prince Ali, yes, it is he, but not as you know him. Read my lips and come to grips with reality. Jafar
: Yes, meet a blast from your past. Whose lies were too good to last! Say hello to your precious Prince Ali!
[zaps Ali back to Aladdin as he says it
] Or should we say Aladdin? Princess Jasmine
: [shocked gasp
] Ali? Aladdin
: Jasmine, I tried to tell you. I just. Jafar
: [still singing
] So Ali turns out to be merely Aladdin. Jafar
: Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me, his personality flaws, give me adequate cause,
[sends Aladdin and Abu in a pillar, Carpet flies in after them
: to send him packing on a one way trip so his prospects take a terminal dip, his assets frozen, the venue chosen, is the ends of the earth. Jafar
: [sends the pillar in the air
: Whoopee! So long! Iago
: Goodbye. See ya. Jafar
] Ex-Prince Ali!
: Abu? Abu! Oh, this is all my fault. I should have freed the Genie when I had the chance. Aladdin
: Abu! Are you okay? Abu the Monkey
] Uh-huh. Aladdin
: I'm sorry, Abu. I made a mess of everything, somehow. I gotta go back and set things right. Yeah! All right! Now, back to Agrabah! Let's go!
[Jasmine has rejected "Prince Ali's" first advances toward her
: [as a bee
] Stop her! Stop her! Want me to sting her? Aladdin
: Buzz off. Genie
: OK, fine. But remember, "bee" yourself.
: Do you trust me?
[Aladdin and Jasmine are hanging out in Al's hideout when Razoul's guards show up
: Here you are! Aladdin
, Princess Jasmine
] They're after me! They're after you?
[Cassim has not showed up at the wedding
: Where is he?
[Genie changes into Pumbaa from the Lion King
: Hakuna Matata!
: Whoa. I was having an out of movie experience.
: Well, they have no where to go. We got them trapped. Iago
: We? They are 40 thieves! We are you, a rug, a monkey and me. Wait, don't count me.
[the Genie has Cassim surrounded; Aladdin tries to push his way through them
: Genie. Genie
: Back off, Al, this creep's got a yellow sheet as long as my arm. Aladdin
: Genie meet my dad. Genie
: [confused and defeated
] Stand down men. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
[all other genies disappear leaving him alone
The Magic Oracle
: Have you chosen your question? Aladdin
: I have. The Magic Oracle
: Then ask. Aladdin
: Where is my father? The Magic Oracle
: [points off into the distance
] Follow the trail of the Forty Thieves. Your father is trapped within their world. Aladdin
: Forty Thieves? Is he hurt? how long has he been their prisoner? The Magic Oracle
] I'm sorry, I can only answer one question.
] They're finally getting married! Sultan of Agrabah
] They're finally getting married! Thieves
] They're finally getting married! Iago
] Look at all these presents! Princess Jasmine
] We're finally getting married! Abu the Monkey
] You're finally getting married! Aladdin
] I'm finally getting married!
: Bad new, Al. The boutonnieres clash with the cummerbunds! Aladdin
: [Referencing to the crowd of guest
] Genie, isn't it a little late for that? Genie
: What? What are you trying to say? Out with it! What-wha... Genie
: [Finally notices crowd
] ... hehe. They're he-e-ere. OH NO-HO-HO-HO! Genie
: [Transforms into The White Rabbit from "Alice In Wonderland"
] I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!
[Runs out of room
: [pressing Aladdin to the floor
] You don't stand a chance against the King of Thieves! Aladdin
] When I get up, I'll bow to you!
: [after knocking Cassim to the floor
] Could I see your invitation?
: Well, we're here. Princess Jasmine
: Together, forever.
: Hello? Somebody's gonna be late for his own wedding! Aladdin
: Hold on Genie, there's something I need. Genie
] I gotcha...
[turns into a woman popping out of a cake
: It's a bachelor party, big boy! Genie
: [to Carpet with a mug of beer
] None for you! You're the designated flyer.
: I was so stupid to think I could change him. Genie
: Trying to show him a better life wasn't stupid, Al. Genie
: [speaking with his hand, high voice
] Leaving him alone with the parrot, that was stupid.
: [holding the Hand of Midas
] After all these years you finally have your treasure! Cassim
: [taking it from him
] This thing? This almost cost me the ultimate treasure. It's you son, you are my ultimate treasure. I'm just sorry it took me so long to realise it.
[after Iago comes back
] Al's... Dad... Sa'luk... Princess Jasmine
: [picks him up
] Just take a deep breath, Iago. Now what about Aladdin's father? Iago
: It's Sa'luk! The guy Al beat! He's not beat; he's back! And he's got Cassim! Aladdin
] That's his problem! He chose to go back to that life. Genie
: Al, I know your dad made a lot of bad choices - but that doesn't mean you have to. Princess Jasmine
: He is your father. How can you do anything else?
[Aladdin turns away and thinks about it
: I'm being as stubborn as he was.
[after a pause
] Show me the way!
] There's a party here in Agrabah, and the party's all for me. / Just look, you guys, at where we are, and how our dreams have come to be. Princess Jasmine
] There's a party here in Agrabah, and I can't believe it's true. / After all this waiting, here we are. We'll finally get to say, "I do". Aladdin 'Al'
: I never ever had a real family. Princess Jasmine
: I never ever had a real true friend. Aladdin 'Al'
, Princess Jasmine
: Someone who could just understand me.
: Sultan, I have to tell you something about Iago. Iago
: [tickles Rajah's nose with one of his feathers
: [sneezes Iago out in front of Sultan
] Aladdin 'Al'
: [gulps nervously
] He's here.
: [smearing dirt all over himself
] I'll just get Aladdin on my side with a little sympathy act. And I'll be back in the palace again quicker than you can say "Easy Street."
[Aladdin turns corner to find Iago panting for breath
: Aladdin - kid finally got free - of Jafar.
] Aladdin 'Al'
: Iago! What are you doing here? Iago
: Where are you? Getting dark. Hold me.
[Aladdin fiercely grabs at him
] Hey, I meant gentle-like!
[Genie saves Aladdin from being beheaded
] Aladdin 'Al'
: Thanks for saving me. Blue Genie
: Oh, come on, Al, you know I had to. Oh, that no head look is just not you. For my next trick: bibbidi-bobbidi-BOO! Ho-ho, and everybody's safe and sound.
: I can't just stay in the palace! There's too much to do, too much to see.
: Giddy up, slowpoke, what's keeping you? Aladdin 'Al'
: Nothing. Well, something, but I'll tell you later.
[Aladdin is accused for the murder of the Sultan
] Razoul the Chief Guard
: And then you went over the waterfall, eh? Ha! How did you survive? Aladdin 'Al'
: [hanging his head in shame
] I I don't know. Razoul the Chief Guard
: [crosses his arms in disbelief
] How very convenient. Aladdin 'Al'
: It's the truth! Why won't you believe me? Princess Jasmine
: [off camera
] Because we know you're lying. Aladdin 'Al'
: What? Princess Jasmine
: I found this in your room!
[holds out the Sultan's tattered turban
] Princess Jasmine
: My father's turban slashed. Aladdin 'Al'
: You can't think! Princess Jasmine
: I thought you loved me, but now I see that all you wanted to do was rule Agrabah! Aladdin 'Al'
: I never wanted! Princess Jasmine
: He shall die at dawn - for the murder of my father!
[Jasmine runs off, stops at the door and then shuts it
] Aladdin 'Al'
: Jasmine, please! Razoul the Chief Guard
: [restrains Aladdin
] Razoul the Chief Guard
: You're in my hands now, street rat!
: [arriving from his trip around the world
] He's big, he's blue! And he's BACK! Aladdin 'Al'
: [as he and Jasmine hug the Genie
] Genie! Princess Jasmine
: You came back! Blue Genie
: [turning red, yelling and wincing
] Ooh! Ah! Oh, watch the sunburrrn!
[stops wincing, then turns blue again
] Blue Genie
: Aha! Kidding. Did you miss me? Be honest.
[handing his luggage to Abu
] Blue Genie
: Take care of these, my good mammal. Abu the Monkey
: [Abu takes the luggage but falls down from Aladdin's shoulder
] Blue Genie
: Careful they're heavy. Hang on, I've got souveniers for everybody!
: So Genie, how does it feel to be free? Blue Genie
: Seriously? I love it!
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves
: Who are you? Aladdin 'Al'
: My friends call me Al, but you can call me Aladdin. Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves
: Gah - hurt him!
: Give it up Jafar! We're obviously too much for you to handle! Jafar
: You! You're a fool to challenge me! I am all powerful! Aladdin 'Al'
: Some all powerful. You can't even get rid of a lowly street rat! Jafar
: A problem I need to rectify right NOW! Princess Jasmine
: You saw the whole world already? Blue Genie
] It's A Small World after all.
[turns back to normal and speaks
] Blue Genie
: But Agrahbah has something that no other place in the world has.
[Turns into a rocket and shouts
] Blue Genie
: You guys!
: And Iago, talk about a rat with wings! Aladdin 'Al'
: Genie? Blue Genie
: Whoo! That bird was mean!
[Turns his head into Iago
] Blue Genie
: "Sultan want a cracker? Sultan want a cracker?"
[His head returns to normal
] Blue Genie
: Remember that? The Sultan of Agrabah
: I can still taste them - the traitor! Blue Genie
: Yes, sir! You don't see this guy hanging out with any evil parrots. Aladdin 'Al'
: Uh, it's funny, you should mention Iago.
] Aladdin? After that night we spent together, my belly grows big with child. And my father says that you must marry me or I'll bring dishonor to my entire family. Aladdin
: Whoa w - w - w - whoa! I can't give up on my dreams and settle down just because your dad's being a dick.
: Do you believe in love at first sight? Aladdin
: Absolutely. I've experienced it. Many, many times.
: But she's the princess. To even stand a chance, I'd have to have enough money to like, hire an army of assassins to kill the royal vizier and all the palace guards. Then I could sneak in and, you know, pork her. 'Cause dude, once I get my mind set on a chick, I just can't move on. Until I get this nut out. Ja'far
: Well first you must escape the Tiger Head Cave with your life. Ja'far
] Then you can get your nut out! Ja'far
] Your eternal nut out. Aladdin
: Knock, knock, knock. Did somebody order a prince? Princess
: [gasps, checks hand where she wrote his name
] Aladdin! Aladdin
: How the fuck did you know it was me? Princess
] Because it *is* you, you're just wearing different clothes. Aladdin
: Wow. Pretty *and* smart. You're the whole shebang, babe.
: Sultan, princess? This guy is a sorcerer. Think about it! How is it that he knows so much shit? Hey Ja'far, where do hippopotamuses come from? Ja'far
: Africa. Aladdin
: See, how did you fucking know that, sorcerer?
: They're after me! They're after you? Aladdin
: There she is, guys, get her!
: Who are you? Genie of the Lamp
: Who am I? Who am I? I am the Lamp Genie... THE Lamp Genie. Wishes, dreams, power, premature and violent death... ohhh, scratch the last one.
: [making a wish
] How about some sort of flying machine? Genie of the Lamp
: Flying machine? So we could fly around the world? And have drinks? And people could serve us peanuts? You'd better stick with the money.
: Are you like the Genie of the Ring? Genie of the Lamp
: Like the Genie of the Ring?... I, who opposed the will of Heaven? NEVER! Aladdin
: So you're not related then? Genie of the Lamp
: No! Ohhh, I don't know... the tests were inconclusive...
: Aladdin, you're everything a prince should be! But... your mother... Aladdin
] She's what they call an... eccentric.
: Your precious princess is no doubt weeping in some cloistered corner of the palace. Aladdin
: You don't know Jasmine.
: [about to kiss Jasmine
] My hero.
: And who's gonna stop me, Aladdin? You? You who refuse to be the sultan so you could play the hero? Aladdin
: Beats some of *your* hobbies. Mozenrath
: I singlehandedly conquered the Land of the Black Sand. I became the most powerful sorcerer of our age. And that's only the start. I will rule the Seven Deserts. Aladdin
: Sure... How many parties do you get invited to?
: You lost this battle the minute you got Jasmine mad.
: Legend has it that whoever holds the lamp can summon the... Genie
: Please, kid, leave the intros to a professional. The one and only GENIE OF THE LAMP! Rub-a-dub-dub the lamp and have your dearest wishes granted. Today's winner is... Aladdin! Congratulations!
: Any three wishes! A one wish, a two wish, a three wish. Then I make like a banana and split! Our lucky winner made his first wish... and let me tell you, what a doozy that wish was... so he has two left. So, master, what'll you have for Wish Number Two? Aladdin
: Hmm, how about making me a fabulously wealthy prince? Genie
: Oooh! Money! Royalty! Fame! Why didn't I think of that? Okay, you asked for it! A hundred servants and a hundred camels loaded with gold! Just say the word and I'll deliver it in 30 minutes or less, or your meal's free. Hey, I'll even throw in a cappuccino!
: Here, use the lamp.
[Aladdin gives Daisy the lamp then passes it to Goofy, then Donald, then Minnie and then Mickey
: [calling after Farouk
] And next time, pick on someone your own size! Iago
] If he can *find* anyone his own size.
: [as his Anger personality throws Abis Mal from a great height
] Point that beard at me again and I'll rip your spine out! Aladdin
] Genie's anger! Iago
: So long, I like my spine!
: You'll be okay.
[jumps down on one end of the rug so Jasmine is vaulted off her end over the circle of flame
: Not sure about me, though.
: This is a bad idea, Al! The guy's got the reasoning faculties of a boiled cabbage! Aladdin
: Don't worry about it! I got us through the ice palace, and I can handle it!
: Hey. Butterfingers. I want my monkey.
: [to Corporal
] If you have to leave, don't go until you come back.
: [leaping on
] Carpet, we're going to the palace. Iago
: [Abu follows
] Count me out. Razoul
: [running by
] You're out.
: Ah, he's taking forever that stupid boy... Here's the sun almost ready to set and he's still hasn't come back. What could it be doing? Curse it, If I chose the wrong boy to get that lamp.
[Aladdin goes back from the garden, he sees the light outside, runs up
: Master, I'm back! The Wizard
: Oh, excellent. Excellent. Good work, my boy. Now just hand me the lamp and I'll help you out. Aladdin
: No, pull me out first and then you get the lamp. The Wizard
: Hand me the lamp and then I'll pull you out. Aladdin
: You aren't getting any old lamp until you get me out of here. The Wizard
: Listen, boy. I don't care you'll never get out of there. All I want is that lamp now, give it to me. Aladdin
: Hmm. If that's the way you're gonna be, then you come get it yourself. The Wizard
: What do you mean, you son of a camel? If you don't give me that lamp, I'll seal you into that cave forever. Aladdin
: Uh-uh. You let me out of here and you'll never get it. The Wizard
: Blast you. You'll be sorry for this.
: [after Aladdin vanquishes Arbutus
] Jasmine, we did it!
[he notices Jasmine looks upset
: Jasmine? What? Princess Jasmine
: Oh, Aladdin. I know you meant to do the right thing, but Arbutus was not a monster. He was just different. Iago
: Yeah, he was a beast! Aladdin
: Iago! Jasmine, I don't understand. Princess Jasmine
: He loved his garden the way you and Father love me.
: Where do you come from? Genie
: I was born from the thundering wind, that blew from the mouth of the Great White Bear, who came from the fiery yellow Sun, who is the eye of the all-powerful being whose name I am forbidden to speak! And you are? Aladdin
: Aladdin. I... was born from Mustafa the tailor. And that's my mother there, passed out from fright. Genie
: A *test*? People could've been hurt! Mozenrath
: And your point would be...?
: You're just in time to witness the destruction of Agrabah! Aladdin
: [to Iago
] I think he needs a girlfriend or something. Iago
: I think he's married to his work.
[Jasmine, Genie, and Aladdin are about to blow something up
: It's showtime. Genie
: [appears with box of popcorn
] It is? I love a good show! What are we gonna see? Aladdin
: Genie, she means light the fuse.
: Ok, look, Dr. Greenberg said that we had to spend one romantic evening together per week, so why don't we, you know, just get this over with? Jasmine
] I wish you could hear yourself right now. Aladdin
: Well I wish I was dead! But guess what? I already used all my wishes!