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Quotes for
Janice (Character)
from "The Muppet Show" (1976)

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The Great Muppet Caper (1981)
Kermit: Quiet!
[all fall silent except Janice]
Janice: Look, Mother. It's my life, okay? So if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked... Oh.

Fozzie: [going over a checklist] Wax lips?
Zoot: Aw man, I just had 'em.
Dr. Teeth: Did you leave 'em in your other pants?
Zoot: I don't have no other pants.
Fozzie: [going back to the checklist] Yo-yo?
Janice: Fer sure.

Kermit: Now, we're about to embark on a potentially dangerous mission. There could be physical violence, there could be gunplay, and there is the slightest chance that somebody might even get killed. So if anybody wants out, now is the time to say it.
Floyd: I'm out.
Rowlf: Me too.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Ditto.
Beaker: Meep meep.
Zoot: Hey, don't we have a gig around here, or something, or somewhere?
Pops: Sorry, I got a dental appointment.
Janice: It's like this, Kermit, I have to go to work all day...
[everyone starts talking at once]
Fozzie: [shouting] Hold it!
[everyone stops talking]
Fozzie: Shame on you! I thought we were in this thing together. I'm just as scared as you are, but this has to be done! We don't want the bad guys to win. We gotta do this f-f-for justice! For freedom! For honesty!


"Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color: The Muppets at Walt Disney World (#34.23)" (1990)
Robin the Frog: I think it's great to be going back to the swamp and rediscovering our roots.
[Janice trips]
Rowlf: Hey, there's one now.
Janice: Thanks.
Rowlf: It goes with the poison ivy.

Floyd: How did our friends get on this show?
Janice: Luck and contageous!
Clifford: Yeah, they didn't have either one.


The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)
Janice: [talks on phone] So I told him "Listen, buddy, I don't take my clothes off for anybody, even if it IS artistic".

[the Muppets have shacked up in bus station lockers]
Janice: I'll trade with anyone who has a Jacuzzi.


A Muppet Family Christmas (1987) (TV)
Janice: There's Rowlf when he was just a wee pup.
Rowlf: Not so wee. I was paper-trained.

Janice: [bringing out a basket of Christmas cookies] Hey, everybody, look what I've got: Christmas cookies!
Cookie Monster: COOKIE!
[gobbles up the whole basket, as Animal watches in amazement]
Cookie Monster: Oh, thank you!
Janice: Who was that strange blue creature?
Animal: Dat my kinda fella! Ahahahahaha!


It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002) (TV)
Janice: [Kermit has just asked for a miracle, and heavenly music plays] Oh... sorry. Like, I was totally just tuning up my harp.


"The Muppets.: The Ex-Factor (#1.6)" (2015)
Kristin Chenoweth: [Kristin travels on the road with the Electric Mayhem] Question about my seat belt: I think it's just a guitar strap connected to nothing.
Janice: Everything's connected to something if you think about it.


"The Muppets.: Pig Out (#1.4)" (2015)
Janice: Hey, Kermit?
Kermit the Frog: Yeah?
Janice: Uh, there's a lecture on astral projection next Friday.
Kermit the Frog: Oh, oh, so you want the day off?
Janice: No, I'll be here. I just wanted you to know that I'll be there, too.


"The Muppet Show: Danny Kaye (#3.16)" (1978)
[Floyd and Janice are sitting in the theater box where Waldorf and Statler usually sit]
Floyd Pepper: Every show, Statler and Waldorf sit up here, show after show after show. I think I see why.
Janice: You see why they come?
Floyd Pepper: No, I see why they left.


"The Muppet Show: George Burns (#2.10)" (1977)
[a telephone is the Veterinarians Hospital patient]
Rowlf: What's wrong with it?
Miss Piggy: It's not working.
Rowlf: Well, tell it to get a job so it can pay me.
Janice: Maybe it's a PAY phone.