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: These are some of the poorest people I know. They're more broke than the Ten Commandments.
: That was a little joke. Very little.
: What a selfish, hopeless, callous heel of a cad I've been. Blind to the needs of society's lowly unloved.
[Charlie has escaped the pound
] Gambler Dog
: Charlie? Ain't you supposed to be on death row? Charlie
] No. I AIN'T supposed to be on death row.
: Hey, wait. That looks like a water main. Itchy Itchiford
: Naw, water mains are green. This is red! Charlie
: Itchy, you're color blind. You've always been color blind. Itchy Itchiford
: That's true, but this is green. Charlie
: Its red. Itchy Itchiford
[drills into pipe; outside, water bursts out of the ground, and the tunnel floods
: Hey guys, waddua ya know, waddua ya say? Itchy Itchiford
: Yeah, waddua ya say, waddua ya know?
: Things have changed, Charlie, since you've been gone... Life hasn't been no piece of cake. Chihuahua Gambler
: Carface ain't been treating us too good. Vera
: Things are tough, but we carry on... Gambler Dog
: [Charlie wins a game of craps
] Could you spare a couple of bones, for old time's sake? Charlie
: Why settle for a couple of bones when you could have the whole bank?
[puts the craps bones in a slot machine and breaks the bank
] Itchy Itchiford
: Ya won the jackpot! Charlie, I'm proud of ya.
] Welcome to being dead. Charlie
] What? You mean I'm... I'm... Whippet Angel
: [flipping through a record book of Charlie's life
] Stone cold I'm afraid. Charlie
: I can't believe it, I've been murdered! Whippet Angel
: I'm having trouble finding any goodness or loyalty here, but let me see. Charlie
: He killed me! Whippet Angel
: I beg your pardon? Charlie
: There's a mistake been made here!
: I don't wanna die/You got the wrong guy/I was double crossed by a dirty rat, actually this rat was a dog but his car ran me down/I just blew out of jail, I just got back to town/Hey! This is hard to explain/May I speak to your Superior because I don't wanna die! Whippet Angel
] Welcome to doing whatever you wish... Charlie
] You got the wrong guy. Whippet Angel
] Laughing and singing all day. Charlie
: Hey! Listen! My time's not up yet! Whippet Angel
: Oh but it is, there's no mistake about that, we know everything. Charlie
: Murdered in the prime of my life! That Carface, I'll kill him!
: In him there's the luck of the Irish. Charlie
: The pride of the German. Itchy Itchiford
: Even, he-he, a bit of Siam. Charlie
: Siam? There's the calm of the English. Itchy Itchiford
: The charm of the Spanish. Charlie
: A pedigree certainly ain't what I am. So call me a mixed-up pup. Itchy Itchiford
: You're a mixed-up pup. Charlie
: But the only way this pup knows is up!
: You must have taken dance lessons. You have natural rhythm, unusual in a whippet.
: Hey! I know we're all dead up here, but so's the music. How about heating it up? Vera
: Honey, you know it!
[Upbeat gospel music plays
: That's nice. That's nice.
: Argh! I'll get that gator, if it's the last thing I do! Whippet Angel
: Touch that clock, and you can never come back. Carface
: Shut up. Whippet Angel
: [shouts and chases him
] I said, touch that clock, and you can never come back! Charlie
: He'll be back.
: Yah! Someone's got me by the tail! Charlie
: I got you by the tail! Itchy Itchiford
: Why don't you tell somebody you're gonna do that? Charlie
: You know, it's not worth it being with you. It's not. Itchy Itchiford
: Your hands are cold, too.
: All we need now is a couple of bucks. Itchy Itchiford
: A couple of bucks, a couple of bucks! Anne-Marie
: A couple, a couple. Mmm, yeah! A mom and dad. Charlie
: Yeah, sure.
: Charlie, will you help me find a mom and dad? Charlie
: Kid, I'll help you find the lost city of Atlantis! Just please, please go to sleep!
] I love Brazil / The throb, the thrill / I've never been there / But someday I will / Adventure and danger / Love from a stranger / Let me be surprised.
: Charlie, will I ever see you again? Charlie
: Sure you will, kid. You know goodbyes aren't forever. Anne-Marie
: Then goodbye, Charlie. I love you. Charlie
: Yep... I love you too.
: What do you call that voice, little fella? Is that a baritone or a tenor? Charlie
: It's a... King Gator
: Oh, I don't care. It's just you and me.
] King Gator
: Let's make music together / Let's make sweet harmony...
: She's burning up a fever, Charlie. She could have pneumonia! Charlie
: Think she needs a vet? Flo
: Charlie, she's a little girl. She needs a doctor. Charlie
: Doctor? I don't know any doctors... I'll find one!
: [after Itchy tells him to get ride of Anne-Marie
] Aw, Itch, now the casino's gone. We've got to start all over; we need the girl more than ever. Itchy Itchiford
: No, boss, you're crazy! It's not business anymore, it's personal! Charlie
: Aw, come on, Itchy. Surely it's just business, I mean... Itchy Itchiford
: You're in love with the girl! You've got soft, you care about her! Charlie
: [furiously annoyed
] Look, I don't care about the girl! I tell her things now and then! I pretend to be her best friend, but it's baloney! Itchy Itchiford
: I thought I was your best friend... Charlie
] YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! With her, it's just business - it's always been business! I'm USING the girl! And when we're done with her, we'll dump her in an orphanage! Is that okay with you! Itchy Itchiford
] Sure, boss, anything you say.
[sees Anne-Marie, who overheard everything
] Itchy Itchiford
: Uh-oh... Anne-Marie
: [crying, goes hurt
] You're not my friend... You're a bad dog!
: Charlie, let me think about this... Charlie
: No! Don't think! From now on, I'll do the thinking!
: [Itchy's dropping ice cream on him
] Hey cut it out, would you? What do you see up there? Itchy Itchiford
: Mostly the backs of the buttons, but other than that...
: I can't help it, Charlie, I always itch when I'm nervous. Charlie
: Well don't be nervous! Itchy Itchiford
: Just scratch this!
: That Carface has something up his sleeve. Itchy Itchiford
: Yeah, a gun! Charlie
: And when I find out what it is, I'm going to ruin him.
: Boss, Carface has got thugs, and they've got muscles, and knives, and he's got a monster. Charlie
: Monster? Itchy Itchiford
: Boss, they feed it! Charlie
: Monster? Itchy Itchiford
: Yes that's what I said, monster!
: Itchy, what happened to you? Itchy Itchiford
: You want to know what happened to me? I'll tell you what happened to me. Carface happened to me, with about 50 of his thugs. Oh! Charlie
: Itch, I'm sorry. Itchy Itchiford
: Well, look what else happened while you were sidetracked. See that?
[see a building on fire
] Itchy Itchiford
: That's *our* place! You were going to fix Carface well, well he fixed us! You see boss, this whole thing's gone too far.
: [about the group of mouse-like natives
] What they saying? Tell 'em to gimme back my watch! Anne-Marie
: I can't, Charlie. They talk funny. Charlie
: I don't care!
: [Anne Marie tells them the horse Chawhee is going to win, but it's a surprise
] Can we trust this horse?
[horse brays at him violently
: Alright! The Grand Cha-hee, Che-haw, Chaw-hee-hee-hoo-ha, by surprise!
: Hi, I'm Charlie. And, you are? Sasha
: Not remotely interested.
] Everybody's a winner. It's so legit and sincere. It's too heavenly here.
: It's hard to explain, Itch. This place is supposed to have everything but it doesn't. It's too... it's too...
: it's too heavenly here/It's too graceful and paradise-like/Much too narrow and much too nice like/Endlessly sunny and clear/It's too heavenly here/It's too blissfull to bear/Calm and quiet and much too mellow/
[Knocks over a tray of halos which all go around Itchy
: /All my brain cells have turned to jello/Every day feels like a year/
[Someone pushes the halos off Itchy and drops both of them
: It's too heavenly here.
[Grabs a harp on the way down
: I need some action/I need some juice/
[Fires Itchy with the harp like a bow and arrow
: A crazy kind of feeling of playing fast and loose/Some razzle dazzle and a little stress and strife/I gotta get some life in my life/But it's too heavenly here/There's no way you can be a sinner/Roll the dice/Everyone's a winner/It's so legit and sincere/It's too heavenly here/What good's a hustler/Without scam/I'm wasted talent/That's all that I am/This operator/Is at the wrong adress/Cause there's nothing to finagle/And no one to fineeeeeeeese Angel Choir
: [while bathing them
] It's so heavenly here/Pure and perfect/Sublime and shining/Every cloud has a silver lining/Everyone's full of good cheer/It's so heavenly here. Charlie
: [singing again
] They're all so saintly, I just can't relate/There's gotta be an exit/Through that pearly gate/
[Throws his halo just missing Itchy
: Behold the canine who's been cut down in his prime/
[the halo comes back over his head
: I may have done the crime/ But I can't do the time/Cause it's too heavenly here/All Hallelujas and Hosannas/It can drive anyone bananas/I'm going out of my head/This joint is deader than dead/I'll give you eight to three/It's too heavenly... Angel Choir
: Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Charlie
: To heaaaaaveeeeenly heeeeeeeere.
: He's only 8 years old! Charlie
: That's 56 in dog years.
: Fine! Don't listen to me. Listen to your guardian angel. Charlie
: David, Cannery Square sounds like a great plan to me.
: Is there a Mr. Sasha? Sasha
: No. And I'm not taking applications.
: We're talking the mean streets of Frisco here, Ace, not Mount Happy-Go-Lucky.
: Why don't you ask him yourself? Sasha
: Now that would be a miracle. Charlie
: One miracle coming up.
[disappears by taking off the collar and reappears in front of Sasha and kisses her, his miracle goes into her
: Ugh! Of all the arrogant, presumptuous, egotistical mutts I've ever met! David
: Ahh! Now you talk.
[Sasha puts her paw over her mouth
: You must be an angel.
: By the way, Carface, what did you trade Red for your collar? Carface
: He wanted the bottom of my shoes, or something. Hehehe. I don't even wear shoes. Ah, stupid cat. Red
: [from the hole which he went back to Hell through
] Stupid dog! It was your soul!
[Demons rise up from the hole and pull Carface into the hole as the others look down
: Let me go! Red! This is not good! Red, no! Not the flames! Itchy
: What do you know? And I thought all dogs go to Heaven.
: [Just arrived in heaven
] I can't believe it! I...
: I'm not itchy. Charlie
: That's funny. You look like him. Itchy
] No, I mean for the first time in my life, I don't have to scratch! Charlie
: Of course not, Itch. This is heaven. Fleas go to the other place.
: [after the root beer falls through his mouth
] What? Itchy
: [sees that his and Charlie's reflections are not there
] Charlie, look! We ain't - oh! We're ghosts! Charlie
: Annabelle! OF ALL THE ROTTEN TRICKS!
: [after arriving to Earth from Heaven
] Hey-lo! Double chili cheeseburger with onions and pickles!
: So, is there a Mr. Sasha? Sasha
: Nope and I'm not taking applications. Charlie
: Okay. Okay but, if you were; what uh... what qualities would you be looking for? Sasha
: Oh, I don't know. Charlie
: Ah, of course you do. Sasha
: Hmmm. Well... loyalty, strength, breeding... Charlie
: I'd be good at that. Sasha
: ...humility... compassion
[Charlie accidently hits his head
: and of course, style.
: Come on Red, you can trust me. Red
: This isn't about trust, a deal with me is binding.