Dr. Raymond Stantz
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Quotes for
Dr. Raymond Stantz (Character)
from Ghostbusters II (1989)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Ghostbusters (1984)
Gozer: [after Ray orders her to re-locate] Are you a God?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nonchalantly nods yes]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: No.
Gozer: Then... DIE!
[Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people below scream]
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!
Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST!

Dr. Peter Venkman: [as the Ghostbusters approach Gozer] Grab your stick!
[the Ghostbusters draw their handsets]
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: HOLDIN'!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up!
[they arm their packs]
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Make 'em hard!
[they rack their handsets]
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown... THROW IT!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Nimble little minx, in't she?
Dr. Egon Spengler: We're gonna go full stream.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Aim for the flattop!
[Ghostbusters shoot at Gozer, but she disappears]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [uncertainly] Wasn't so hard.

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Mayor: All right, all right! I get the point!

Man at Elevator: What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?
Dr. Peter Venkman: No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve.
Man at Elevator: That's gotta be some cockroach.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Bite your head off, man.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Entering elevator] Going up?
Man at Elevator: I'll take the next one.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [astounded] Wow! Talk about telekinetic activity, look at this mess!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Ray, look at this.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Ectoplasmic residue.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Venkman, get a sample of this.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: It's the real thing.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Someone blows their nose and you want to keep it?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'd like to analyze it.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [gets the slime on his hand] Whoa, ah.
Dr. Egon Spengler: This way.
[Venkman tries to wipe the slime off of his hand]

Dr. Raymond Stantz: I think we'd better split up.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Good idea.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah... we can do more damage that way.

[evaluating a site for their business]
Dr. Peter Venkman: What do you think, Egon?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey. Does this pole still work?
[slides down a fireman's pole]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Wow. This place is great. When can we move in? You gotta try this pole. I'm gonna get my stuff. Hey. We should stay here. Tonight. Sleep here. You know, to try it out.
[Venkman looks at Spengler. Spengler slowly shakes his head. Venkman turns to the real estate agent]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I think we'll take it.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: My parents left me that house. I was born there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're not gonna lose the house, everybody has three mortgages nowadays.

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no HUMAN BEING would stack books like this.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Listen... do you smell something?

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads... in a spiritual sense, of course.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey, Dean Yeager! Are you moving us to a better office on campus?
Dean Yeager: No, you're being moved off campus. The Board of Regents has decided to terminate your grant. You are to vacate these premises immediately.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: What?
Dr. Peter Venkman: This is preposterous. I demand an explanation.
Dean Yeager: Fine. This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind of your group's activities.
Dr. Peter Venkman: But the kids love us!
Dean Yeager: Doctor... Venkman. We believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge... or hustle. Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable! You are a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman!
Dr. Peter Venkman: I see.
Dean Yeager: And you have no place in this department, or this university.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.
Walter Peck: Jeez!
[Charges at Venkman]
Mayor: Break it up! Hey, break this up! Break it up!
Walter Peck: All right, all right, all right!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's what I heard!

Winston Zeddemore: Hey Ray. Do you believe in God?
Dr Ray Stantz: Never met him.
Winston Zeddemore: Yeah, well, I do. And I love Jesus's style, you know.
Dr Ray Stantz: The entire roof cap is made out of a magnesium-tungsten alloy...
Winston Zeddemore: What are you so involved with over there?
Dr Ray Stantz: These are the blueprints for structural ironwork of Dana Barret's apartment building, and they are very, very strange.
Winston Zeddemore: Hey Ray. Do you remember something in the bible about the last days when the dead would rise from the grave?
Dr Ray Stantz: I remember Revelations 7:12...?And I looked, and he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake. And the sun became as black as sack cloth, and the moon became as blood."
Winston Zeddemore: "And the seas boiled and the skies fell."
Dr Ray Stantz: Judgement day.
Winston Zeddemore: Judgement day.
Dr Ray Stantz: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.
Winston Zeddemore: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is 'cause the dead HAVE been rising from the grave?
Dr Ray Stantz: [Pause ] How 'bout a little music?
Winston Zeddemore: Yeah.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Sarcastically] That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray.

[In a TV commercial]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: If the answer is "yes," then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals...
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: Ghostbusters.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: We're ready to believe you.

Dr. Peter Venkman: All right, this chick is TOAST. Okay; sticks?
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: HOLDIN'!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up!
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'!
Dr. Peter Venkman: MAKE 'EM HARD!
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there! I've WORKED in the private sector. They expect *results*.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You never studied.

Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: That's great. Actual physical contact. Can you move?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [over walkie-talkie] Ray, Ray, come in please.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I feel so funky.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Are you okay?
Louis: Who are you guys?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We're the Ghostbusters.
Louis: Who does your taxes?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual.
Louis: I know!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!
Louis: Felt great.
Dr. Egon Spengler: We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.
Louis: Okay.

Dr. Peter Venkman: As a friend, I have to tell ya you've finally gone around the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running your ass off, meetin' and greetin' every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal experience. What have you seen?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Of course you forget, Peter. I was present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, the sponges migrated about a foot-and-a-half.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: The whole building is a huge, superconductive antenna that was designed and built expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse... of Spook Central.
Dr. Peter Venkman: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers... FOUR FEET above her covers. She barks, she drools, she claws!
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's not the *girl*, Peter, it's the *building*.

Dr. Peter Venkman: To our first custumer.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: To our FIRST and ONLY customer.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm gonna need to draw some petty cash. I should take her out to dinner. We don't wanna lose her.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Uhhh... this magnificent feast here represents the LAST of the petty cash.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Slow down. Chew your food.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nice thinkin', Ray.

Dr. Peter Venkman: [picking up his radio and speaking slowly] Come in, Ray.
Dr Ray Stantz: [excited] Venkman? I saw it, I saw it, I saw it.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [slowly, calmly] It's right here, Ray. It's... looking at me.
Dr Ray Stantz: He's an ugly little spud, isn't he?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [quickly] I think he can hear you, Ray.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.
Winston Zeddemore: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is because the dead HAVE been rising from the grave?
[long pause]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Turns on radio] How 'bout a little music?

Dr. Egon Spengler: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the particle flow through the gate.
Dr. Peter Venkman: How?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [hesitates] We'll cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: 'Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cross the streams...
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client - the nice lady, who paid us in advance, before she became a dog...
Dr. Egon Spengler: Not necessarily. There's definitely a VERY SLIM chance we'll survive.
[pause while they consider this]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [slaps Ray] I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it! LET'S DO IT!

[clearing away tables in the dining room to make room for the ghost trap]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I've gotta get this in the clear...!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Wait, wait, wait! I've always wanted to do this...
[He yanks a tablecloth off of a table, overturning and shattering everything except the centerpiece in the middle]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [triumphantly] And the flowers are still standing!

[alternate wording from cable TV version]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Your honor, our system was working just fine until the power grid was turned off by wally wick here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: [to Venkman] Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's true, your honor. The man is some kind of rodent, I don't know which.

[Ray and Peter have been fired]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a 10-meter cattle prod.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Do you know how much a patent clerk earns?
Dr. Peter Venkman: No!

Gozer: The Choice is made!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Ho! Ho! Whoa-oa!
Gozer: The Traveller has come!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nobody choosed anything!
[turns to Egon]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Did you choose anything?
Dr. Egon Spengler: No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Winston] Did YOU?
Winston Zeddemore: My mind is totally blank.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I didn't choose anything...
[long pause, Peter, Egon and Winston all look at Ray]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I couldn't help it. It just popped in there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [angrily] What? WHAT "just popped in there?"
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I... I... I tried to think...
Dr. Egon Spengler: LOOK!
[they all look over one side of the roof]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: No! It CAN'T be!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What is it?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: It CAN'T be!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What did you DO, Ray?
Winston Zeddemore: Oh, shit!
[they all see a giant cubic white head topped with a sailor hat, Peter looks at Ray]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [somberly] It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Dr. Peter Venkman: [looking at the temporary sign on Ghostbusters HQ while a worker is hanging it up] You don't think it's too subtle, Marty, you don't think people are going to drive down and not see the sign?
[hears a siren approaching and an old, gray station wagon pulls up in the driveway]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Whoa! You can't park right here!
[looks and sees Stantz in the driver's seat]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [gets out] Everybody can relax, I found the car. Needs some suspension work and shocks. Brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear-end.
Dr. Peter Venkman: How much?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Only $4,800.
[Venkman looks shocked]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Also new rings, mufflers, a little wiring.

Dr. Egon Spengler: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the polarity flow through the gate.
Dr. Peter Venkman: How?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [hesitates] We'll cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: 'Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cross the streams...
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client - the nice lady, WHO PAID US IN ADVANCE, before she became a dog...
Dr. Egon Spengler: Not necessarily. There's definitely a VERY SLIM chance we'll survive.
[pause while they consider this]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [slaps Ray] I love this plan! I'm excited it could work! LET'S DO IT!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey... Where these stairs go?
Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up!

Dr. Peter Venkman: See ya on the other side, Ray.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Nice working with you, Dr. Venkman.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: It's a girl.
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's Gozer.
Winston Zeddemore: I thought Gozer was a man.
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's whatever it wants to be.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, whatever it is, it's gotta get by us.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Right!
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Go get her, Ray!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [training Winston] This is where we put all the vapors and entities and slimers that we trap. Quite simple really. Load a trap here, open, unlock the system. Insert the trap, release, close, lock the system. Set your entry grid, neutralize your field and... the light is green, the trap is clean! The ghost is incarcerated here in our custom-made storage facility.

Dr. Egon Spengler: [about the storage facility] I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there, and all my recent data points to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean "big"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well...
[Egon takes a Twinkie]
Dr. Egon Spengler: ...let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According to this morning's sample, it would be a twinkie... 35 feet long and weighing approximately 600 pounds.
[Ray coughs, in disbelief]
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We could on the verge of a fourfold cross-reap. A P.K.E. surge of incredible, even dangerous proportions!

Dr. Peter Venkman: [after capturing Slimer] We came, we saw, we've kick its ass.
Hotel Manager: You've seen it? What was it?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We've got it.
[Holds up the smoking ghost trap]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Sir, what we have here is what we call a non-repeating phantasm, or a class-5 free roaming vapor, real nasty one too.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Okay.
[Clears throat]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's talk serious, for the entrapment, we're gonna ask you for 4 big ones $4,000 for that, but we are having a special this week on proton charging, and storage of the beast, so we are gonna ask for $1,000 fortunate.
Hotel Manager: $5,000 I had no idea it would be so much, I won't pay it.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, that's okay we can just put it right back in there.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We most certainly can, Dr. Venkman
Hotel Manager: [Stops Ray] No, no, NO! Anything.
[Peter hands the manager a check]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Thank you. We hope that we can help you again.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [telling Winston, who is new to the team on how to place ghosts in the storage facility] This is where we store all the vapors and entities and slimers that we trap. Very simple, really. A loaded trap here... open, unlock the system... insert the trap... release... close, lock the system. Set your entry grid... neutronize your field... and...
[Ray pulls a lever and the green light comes on]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: ...when the light is green, the trap is clean. The ghost is incarcerated here in our custom-made storage facility.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [after Gozer disappears] We've neutronized it, you know what that means? A complete particle reversal.
Winston Zeddemore: We have the tools, and we have the talent!
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's Miller time!
[the trio shake hands]

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Personally, I liked working for the university! They gave us money and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything. You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the private sector... they expect results!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Oh, I got to get some sleep, I'm dying.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You don't look good.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I don't?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, you've looked better. You didn't used to look like this.

[at jail, the ghostbusters study the blueprints of the building where Dana lives]
Dr. Egon Spengler: The structure of this roof cap is exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cold-riveted girders with cores of pure selenium.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to a cellmate looking over the blueprints] Everybody getting this so far? So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [impatiently] No!
[Ray slaps Peter on the forehead]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Nobody ever made them like this! The architect was either a certified genius, or an authentic wacko.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You never studied. The whole building is a huge superconductive antenna that was designed and built for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse of spook central.
Dr. Peter Venkman: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers. She barks, she drools, she claws...
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building. Something terrible is about to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door!
[pause]
Dr. Egon Spengler: The architect's name was lvo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then, in 1920, he started a secret society.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let me guess. Gozer worshipers.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Right.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Ray] No studying...
Dr. Egon Spengler: After the First World War, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive. He wasn't alone. He had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world. And now it looks like it may actually happen!
[pause. Peter spins around to face another of the inmates, and starts singing]
Dr. Peter Venkman: So be good, for goodness sake! Whoa... somebody's coming!

Dr Ray Stantz: [after Ray thinks of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and it appears, stomping through New York City] I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nice thinking, Ray.

[upon seeing the Slimer]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [very uncompfortably] Come in. Ray
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [on the walkie talkie] Venkman! I saw it! I saw it!
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: He's an ugly little spud isn't he?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I think he can hear you, Ray.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Don't move! It won't hurt you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [the Slimer charges at Venkman] Aaaaaahhh! Aaaaaahhh!

Dr. Peter Venkman: [the Ghostbusters are tiring as they climb twenty-two flights of stairs in their proton packs] Where are we?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [gasps] Looks like we're in the teens... somewhere.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, when we get to twenty, tell me... I'm gonna throw up.

Victorian Lady Ghost: [floating in mid-air reading a book]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [excitedly] A full torso apparition, and it's real.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [holding ghost trap like a rat by the tail] We got it.
Hotel Manager: What is it? Will there be any more of them?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Sir, what you had there is what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal, repeating phantasm or a class-five full-roaming vapor. A real nasty one, too.
Dr. Peter Venkman: And now...
[Peter clears his throat]
Dr. Peter Venkman: ... let's talk seriously. Now, for the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you...
[Egon holds up four fingers]
Dr. Peter Venkman: ... for four big ones, Four thousand dollars for that. But we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast...
[Egon holds up one finger]
Dr. Peter Venkman: ... and that's only gonna come to one thousand dollars, fortunately.
Hotel Manager: Five thousand dollars? I had no idea it'd be so much. I won't pay it.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's all right. We can just put it right back in there. Thank you.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We certainly can, Dr. Venkman.
[Ray turns back toward the ballroom]
Hotel Manager: [stopping Ray] No, no, NO! All right. Anything.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [handing the manager a check] Thanks so much.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Thank you. Hope we can help you again.
[as he, Peter and Egon leave the hotel, Ray calls out to the witnesses]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Coming through! One class-five full-roaming vapor. Move 'em out.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, what do you think?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [looking up and blinding Peter with his headlamp] She's telling the truth. At least, she thinks she is.
Dana Barrett: Well, of course I'm telling the truth! Who would make up a story like that?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [becoming suave] Some are people who just want attention. Others, just nutballs who come in off the street.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know what it could be? Past-life experience intruding on present time.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Could be race memory stored in the collective unconscious. I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact either.
Dana Barrett: I'm sorry, I don't believe in any of those things.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's all right. I don't either.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford, now. They wouldn't touch us with ten meter caliprod.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're always concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know how much a patent clerk earns?
Dr. Peter Venkman: No!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there. I worked in the private sector. They expect results.
Dr. Peter Venkman: For whatever reasons, Ray. Call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: For what purpose?
Dr. Peter Venkman: To go into business for ourselves.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: This ecto containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is gonna require a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we gonna get the money?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I don't know. I 'don't' know.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian, good evening. As a duly designated representative of the city, county, and state of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

[the Ghostbusters exit the elevator. Dr. Egon Spengler charges his proton pack]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Come on.
[Chambermaid enters Hallway/corridor from Hotel Room]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Ray and Egon shout and blast her cart with proton beams]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Hold it!
Chambermaid: What the HELL are you doing?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Sorry.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I'm Sorry.
Dr. Peter Venkman: We thought you were someone else. Successful test.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I guess so. I think we'd better split up.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Good idea.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, we can do more damage that way.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Alright boys... Ready? Throw it!
[Ghostbusters fire away at Slimer; chandelier falls to the floor]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I did that, I did that... That's my fault.
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's OK; the table broke the fall.


Ghostbusters II (1989)
Egon: Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.
Peter Venkman: 105 years old, he hung in there, didn't he?
Ray: He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.
Peter Venkman: Ouch.
Winston: Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?
Egon: No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
Peter Venkman: Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?
Ray: And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back."

Ray: [of the insulting birthday party kids] Ungrateful little yuppie larva. After everything we did for this city.
Winston: Yeah, we conjured up a hundred-foot marshmallow man, blew the top three floors off an uptown high-rise, and ended up getting sued by every city, county, and state agency in New York.
Ray: Yeah... but what a ride.

Ray: You mean you never even had a Slinky?
Egon: We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.

Peter Venkman: [outside the courthouse] We're the best. We're the beautiful. We're the only Ghostbusters.
Ray: We're back!

Ray: You think there's a connection between this Vigo character and the... slime?
Egon: Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?

Peter Venkman: Doh!
Ray: Re!
Egon: Egon!

Brownstone Boy #2: My dad says you guys are full of crap.
Ray: Well, some people have a hard time believing in the paranormal.
Brownstone Boy #2: Nah, he just said you guys are full of crap and that's why you went out of business.

Ray: Not so fast Dead Head! You want a baby, why don't you go knock up some willing hellhound! Otherwise I'm giving you three to get back in that painting! One!
Peter Venkman: Two.

Ray: It looks like a giant Jell-O mold.
Winston: I hate Jell-O.
Peter Venkman: Oh, come on. There's always room for Jell-O!

[two ten foot high, full-torso apparitions strapped into electric chairs with sparking electrical wires still attached, burst out of a specimen jar and hover in the air in the middle of a courtroom, sparks flying, before suddenly diving towards the judge and exploding]
Ray: Wow!

[Egon and Ray are showing Peter and Winston their breakthrough with a slime specimen]
Egon: Go ahead, Ray!
Ray: [shouting at the slime] You! You worthless piece of slime! You ignorant disgusting blob!
[slime twitches]
Egon: You're nothing but an unstable short-chained molecule!
Ray: You foul obnoxious muck!
[bubbles dangerously with every insult]
Egon: You have a weak electrochemical bond!
[starts to bubble over]
Ray: I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!
Peter Venkman: This is what you do with your spare time?

[over the phone with Peter, hearing that Dana's bathtub tried to eat her]
Ray: What? Are you serious? That's great! - I mean that's not great; that's terrible... Spengler, major slime-related psychokinetic event!

Ray: Two in the box.
Egon: Ready to go.
Peter Venkman: We be fast.
Ray, Egon, Peter Venkman: They be slow.

Judge Wexler: [in the middle of persecuting the Ghostbusters he was attacked by the ghosts of 2 murderers he sentenced to the chair] You got to do something! Help me!
Ray: Don't talk to me; talk to my attorney.
Louis Tully: And that's me! My guys are still under a judicial mistrangement order... that blue thing I got from her! They could be exposing themselves!
Peter Venkman: And you don't want us exposing ourselves!

Ray: You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back. I mean, sure, it's messy, it's crowded, it's polluted, and there are people who would just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on! There's gotta be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out berg. We just gotta find a way to mobilize it!

[piloting the Statue of Liberty]
Egon: We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?
Ray: I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet.
Egon: I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.
Peter Venkman: Hey, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!

[Ray has stepped in front of the painting of Vigo, blocking the Ghostbusters' attack]
Egon: Ray... we'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please?
Peter Venkman: Ray...
Winston: Ray?
Egon, Peter Venkman, Winston: RAY!
[Ray turns around, he is Ray/Vigo]
Ray: [demonic voice] NO! I, Ray, am Vigo, shall rule the Earth! Begone, you pitiful half-men!
Peter Venkman: Now!
[they attack]

[Louis Tully is the Ghostbusters' defense lawyer]
Louis Tully: I think you guys are making a big mistake. I do mostly tax law and probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school.
Ray: Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night.

[the Ghostbusters have been committed to a mental hospital]
Ray: As I explained before, we think the spirit of a 17th century Moldavian tyrant is alive and well in a painting at the Manhattan Museum of Art.
Psychiatrist: Uh-huh, and are there any other paintings in the museum with bad spirits in them?
Egon: You're wasting valuable time. He's drawing strength from a psychomagnotheric slime flow that's been collecting under the city.
Psychiatrist: Yes, tell me about the slime.
Winston: It's very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it.
[motions to Peter]
Winston: And a bathtub tried to eat his friend's baby.
Psychiatrist: A bathtub?
Peter Venkman: [with his head buried in his arms in despair] Don't look at me. I think these people are completely nuts.

Egon: [talking about the mood slime after the yelling at it] We're running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive response.
Peter Venkman: What kind of tests?
Ray: Well; we sing to it, talk to it, and say supportive nuturing things to it.
Peter Venkman: You're not sleeping with it are you Ray?
[Ray doesn't answer, but stares intently at Egon]
Peter Venkman: [noticing Egon, teasingly] You hound.
Winston: It's always the quiet ones.
Egon: [clears throat, and hastily changes the subject] How 'bout the kinetic test?

Peter Venkman: [to Egon] Who told you to stop cutting? Somebody tell you to stop cutting?
First Cop: What are you guys doing here?
Peter Venkman: [to First Cop] You tell him to stop cutting?
First Cop: Yes, I told him to stop cutting. What are you doing?
Peter Venkman: What's it look like we're doing here? Why don't you let us work? We let you work.
Ray: [to Peter] Hey, take it easy.
[to First Cop]
Ray: He's been working overtime. I'll tell you why we're here. We're here because some diaper bag downtown's being a jerk and making us work on a Friday night. Am I right, Peter?
Peter Venkman: Of course you're right, Raymond.
[to Egon]
Peter Venkman: Is he right, Ziggy?
Egon: [pause] Yo!

Judge Wexler: [two ghosts in electrics chairs are attacking the court room] The Scolari brothers!
Ray: Friends of yours?
Judge Wexler: I tried them for murder, gave 'em the chair! You've got to do something!
Egon: Why don't you just tell them you don't believe in ghosts?

Ray: So what do you think? Chinese?
Egon: [sighs] How 'bout Thai?
Ray: No, too spicy. Greek?
Egon: Uhh... Mexican?
Ray: Pizza.
Egon: Thin or thick?
Ray: Chicago.

Egon: [Looking at Pictures of Vigo that Peter took earlier] You're right, Ray. Multiplatform anomination.
Ray: [getting another picture] Yeah, well here is the next months' front cover of GQ, check out the aura on this sucker. Now there is definitely a living presence there.
Egon: We should get a deeper look.
Ray: I 'll run this one through the Spectrogram
[Puts a picture into the spectrogram, now talks about dinner]
Ray: So, what do you think, Chinese?
Egon: Uh, how about Thai?
Ray: Nah, too spicy. Greek?
Egon: Uh, Mexican?
Ray: Pizza?
Egon: Thin or thick?
Ray: Chicago.
Egon: [Takes out a picture of Vigo] What the hell is that?
[picks up his giant maginfying glass]
Ray: I know what it is.
[Unbeknownst to Ray and Egon, the door is suddenly locked]
Ray: I've seen this before.
Egon: Where?
Ray: Remember when you had me dangling like a worm on a hook 100 feet below 1st Avenue?
[Shows the slime on the picture]
Ray: That's the river of slime.

Ray: [after getting off of the phone with Peter] Spangler. A major slime related pshycho kenetic event.
Egon: What happened?
Ray: Something came out of Dana's bathtub, tried to grab her and the baby.
Egon: Are they alright?
Ray: Yeah, she got out of there and went over to Venkman's.
Egon: This is interesting Ray. Remember that Vigo character Peter mentioned? Look what came up
[Goes to his computer and types up Vigo's profile]
Ray: Nice ugly history. Do you think there's a connection to this Vigo character and the...
[Looks at the slime which is still bubbling]
Ray: slime?
Egon: Is the atomic weight of colbalt 58.9?

Judge Wexler: [Running from the Scolari Bros. and pounding on the door, then grabs ray by his suit jacket] You gotta do something, help me!
Ray: Don't talk to me, talk to my attorney.
Louis Tully: That's me. My guys are still under a judicial restraining order. That blue thing I got from her, they can be exposing themselves.
Peter Venkman: And you don't want us, exposing ourselves.

Peter Venkman: [as the Mayor walks in]
[Raising his voice over the rest of the 'Busters]
Peter Venkman: Lenny. Big man.
The Mayor: The Ghostbusters.
Winston: Mr. Mayor?
[Holds out his hand, wanting to shake his hand]
The Mayor: What is this? A slumber party?
Ray: Well, that's why we wanted to see you.
The Mayor: Listen, *I* don't want to hear anything about it. You got 2 minutes. Make it good.
Ray: [Getting started] Well, first of all Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and you'll be happy to know that 50% of us voted for you in the last election.
The Mayor: I appreciate that.
Peter Venkman: I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.
Ray: Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proprtions is building up beneath the city.
The Mayor: Psycho-what?
Egon: Psychomagnatheric.
Peter Venkman: Big word, big word.
Egon: Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with *explosive* supernormal potential.
The Mayor: Can somebody speak english here?
Winston: Uh yeah. Your honor, what we're trying to say is all of the bad feelings. You know hate, anger and the vibes of the city are turning into this *sludge*. I didn't believe in it either. But, we just went for a swim in it and end up almost killing each other.
Hardemeyer: [to the Mayor]
[Aggrivated]
Hardemeyer: This is insane! Do we *really* have to listen to this?
Peter Venkman: [to Hardemeyer] Can't you stop your lips from flapping for 2 little minutes?
[to the Mayor]
Peter Venkman: Lenny, have you been out on the street lately, do you know weird it is out there? We've taken our own headcount, there seems to be 3 *million* completely miserable assholes living in the Tri-State area.
Hardemeyer: [In disbelief] Please?
Peter Venkman: I beg your prdon, 3 million and *one*.
Hardemeyer: Hey.
Ray: And what *fuggy brain* here doesn't realize, that if we don't do something fast this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.
Hardemeyer: [In disbelief] Yeah right.
The Mayor: What do you want me to do, go on television and tell 3 million people they have to be *nice* to each other?
[Begins to walk off]
The Mayor: Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's god-given right. Your 2 minutes are up, good night gentlemen.

Judge Wexler: [At the Ghostbusters' trial] Before we begin this trial, I want to make one thing very clear: The law does not recognize the existence of ghosts, and I don't believe in them either. So I don't wanna hear a lot of malarkey about goblins, spooks, and demons. We're gonna stick to the facts in this case. Leave the ghost stories to the kiddies, understood?
Winston: Wow. Sounds like a pretty open-minded guy, huh?
Egon: Yeah, they call him "The Hammer."
Ray: What can we do? It's all in the hands of our lawyer now.
Louis Tully: I think you guys are making a big mistake. I do mostly tax law and some probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school.
Ray: Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night.

[to the bunch of reporters outside the courtroom after trapping the Scoleri Brothers]
Peter Venkman: We're the best. We're the beautiful. We're the only Ghostbusters.
Ray: [excited] We're back!

Judge Wexler: Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler,
[yells]
Judge Wexler: Stand up! Get up!
[the Ghostbusters stand up]
Judge Wexler: You too, Mr. Tully.
[Louis stands up]
Judge Wexler: [furious] I find guilty on all charges. I order to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each...
[the mood slime burbles; Ray notices it]
Judge Wexler: ... and I sentence you to 18 months in the City Correctional Facility at Riker's Island.
Ray: Egie, she's twiching.
Judge Wexler: [yells] I'M NOT FINISHED!
[slime continues to boil]
Judge Wexler: On a more presonal note, let me just go on record as saying that there's no place for fakes, charlatans...
Egon: Uh, your honor?
Judge Wexler: [cuts Egon off] Shut up! Or tricksters like you in desent society!
Peter Venkman: Your honor, this is important.
Judge Wexler: You play on the gullibility of innocent people!
Ray: Yes, sir...
Judge Wexler: Be quiet!
Ray: But...
[poits to the bubbling mood slime as it spills over]
Judge Wexler: [yelling] If my hands weren't tied by the alterable fetters of the law, then I would invoke the tradition of our illustrious forbears, reach back to a purer, sterner justice
[screaming at the top of his lungs]
Judge Wexler: and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE!
[the ghosts of the Scoleri brothers bursts from the slime; the jury members, many vistors and the prosecutor are all frightened]
Ray: [amazed] Wow!
Judge Wexler: [shocked and frightened] Oh, my God! The Scoleri Brothers!
[Wexler leaps from his bench as the ghosts attempt to attack him. He then crawls to Louis and the now-prosecuted Ghostbusters]
Judge Wexler: [yells] The Scoleri Brothers!
Ray: Friends of yours?
Judge Wexler: I've tried them for murder! Gave them the chair!

Ray: [dripping with good slime] Hey, man, let me tell you something. I love you.
Janosz: Yes? Well, I love you too.
[they hug]

Peter Venkman: [the Ghostbusters enters the museum's restoration room] All right, suck in the guts, guys. We're the Ghostbusters.
[they breathe in]
Janosz: [approaches the four; claps] No! No, please go! You...
Ray: Who's this wiggler?
Ray: He's yours, Ray. Sic him.
Peter Venkman: [to Peter] I have discuss things with you. Now I...
Ray: Hi, how are you? Ray Stantz from the Ghostbusters. Nice to see you. Beautiful lab you have here.
Janosz: Can I tell what I told your friend?
Ray: We're just doing a routine spook check.
Janosz: Eh, Dr. Venkman, Dana is not here.
Peter Venkman: Yeah, we know that, Johnny.
Janosz: So why are you came?
Peter Venkman: Well, we got a report there was a major creep in the area. We checked our list and you were right there at the top. Johnny, where the hell are you from anyway?
Janosz: The Upper West Side.
Egon: The whole room's extremely hot, Peter.
Janosz: Hot?
Winston: [notices the painting of Vigo] Ooh, that's one ugly dude.
Peter Venkman: Oh, that's Vigo. Mr. Vigo?
Janosz: Uh...
Peter Venkman: [starts to take pictures of Vigo] Vigs, would you look this way, please?
Janosz: Please. No, don't. No, no!
Peter Venkman: Come on, show me something.
Janosz: No! No photographs, please! Slides are available in the Gift Shop, eh?
[Winston pulls Janosz out of the way; Janosz yells]
Peter Venkman: Yeah, thanks. Thank you, Winston.


Ghostbusters (2009) (VG)
[the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man has appeared again]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: It wasn't me this time, I swear it.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Um, okay. That's your cue, killer.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Venkman. Come in please! Pandemonium up here! Chucks of the building missing everywhere! You are required at the sight now!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [via walkie talkie] So happy to be of demand, but these sugar balls have got me nailed down. I can't get pass them. They're disgusting, and they are unhealthy.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Uh, did I mention there's a spectacularly beautiful lady in distress?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'll be right there.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: We eat gods for breakfast?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Too much you think?

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [excitedly] How was it? Was it cool? How did it look like? Did you get any samples? Did it have multiple eyes?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Shut up.

Dr. Ilyssa Selwyn: [after the Museum stage] You guys are heroes.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You mean, *fired* heroes. Peck's gonna pull our license.

[the Ghostbusters' commercial is on TV]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Are you troubled by strange noises in the night?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Have you or your family actually seen a spook, specter or ghost?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Just pick up the phone and call the professionals!
Ghostbusters: Call the Ghostbusters! We're ready to believe you!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Franchises available soon! Call for details.

[Slimer has escaped and returned to the Sedgewick Hotel]
Sedgewick Hotel Manager: That disgusting green blob is up on the 12th floor again, wreaking havoc! I demand a refund right now!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Sir, if you check the fine print on our invoice...
Dr. Raymond Stantz: *Invoices*.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right, invoices, you'll see that your warranty on re-haunting expired some time ago. You should've taken the extended service agreement.

Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Rookie] Part of our settlement with the city: proton packs must remain off in heavily populated public areas.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: And in close quarters. It minimizes the city's liabilities and satisfies the restraining order the maid here had put on us.

Dr. Egon Spengler: [over radio] I wanted to test these first, but since we're waiving that safety step today anyway, you should be aware that I modified the Neutrona Wand which normally releases the particle stream.
Winston Zeddemore: Wow! It's like Christmas came early!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [over radio] Earlier than what? They started Christmas before Halloween this year! Santa came to my house dressed as Dracula!

[Egon and Ray have given the Rookie an upgraded Proton Pack]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Hey, how come this mump gets all the new stuff?
Dr. Egon Spengler: He's our new Experimental Equipment Technician.
Dr. Peter Venkman: He gets a cool title, too?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: It means he gets to carry around a bunch of untested, extremely dangerous hardware that if not handled correctly could blow him somewhere into New Jersey.

Ivo Shandor: [Final confrontation closing sequence] I am a god!
Dr. Egon Spengler: We eat gods for breakfast.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [after Shandor's architect form has been destroyed] We eat gods for breakfast?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Too much you think?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: No, I liked it.

Dr. Egon Spengler: [while making adjustments to Ray's Proton Pack] This could be dangerous.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Great. Danger is our life.
Dr. Egon Spengler: We'll start at fifty-percent capacity. That should keep any burning or tissue damage to a minimum.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Hey. If you're going to burn any tissue, do it to the new kid. You can't use Ray. Our mortgage is in his name.

Dr. Egon Spengler: [after defeating several flying stone gargoyles] Interesting. Ghosts and gargoyles.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey! That was a game: 'Ghosts and Gargoyles', a game we played when I was in the Seminary.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ghosts and Gargoyles. What dink game didn't you play? Do you have your eight-sided dice with you?

[the Ghostbusters arrive at the Sedgewick Hotel, which seems to be empty]
Winston Zeddemore: Whoa. If this place were any more dead, we'd need a coroner.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Egon used to be a licensed coroner.
Winston Zeddemore: No kidding?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's just a hobby now.


"The Real Ghostbusters: The Boogieman Cometh (#1.6)" (1986)
Ray Stantz: [while running through children's closets, chasing after the bogeyman] Nothing to worry about, folks. We'll handle him. You just go back to bed.
Woman: I knew we shouldn't have bought a house in Hollywood!

Ray Stantz: [Winston's driving crazily chasing a ghost] Easy...
Peter Venkman: Okay, we're on him now. Watch out for the hot dog cart, Winston, don't hit the news stand.
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, you should've put another wheel in the backseat for him.

Ray Stantz: [about the Bogeyman] It's not a ghost! How are we gonna get it in the trap?
Winston Zeddemore: Good question! Why didn't you think of that before?
Peter Venkman: Go full stream! Maybe we can force him back in the closet!

Ray Stantz: Peter... tell me a story.
Winston Zeddemore: He's just getting into the role.
Peter Venkman: He's going to be in a whole body cast in about a minute.
[goes into the bedroom, quickly]
Peter Venkman: Once upon a time there were four Ghostbusters who had a job to do only they couldn't do it because one of them wouldn't GO TO SLEEP. THE END!


"The Real Ghostbusters: Venkman's Ghost Repellers (#2.27)" (1987)
Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, you idiot!
Dr. Egon Spengler: No, this is right, trust me.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We're all gonna die!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Heard from you dad yet?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nope.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Expect to hear from him?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, I expect to get a postcard from him saying he's in Alaska selling... the Eskimos icemakers.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Captain, I'm sorry but we're booked solid for a week, I get seasick, I hate the ocean...
Captain: I have two words for you, Venkman Repellers.
Dr. Peter Venkman: My dad?
Captain: One and the same.
Dr. Peter Venkman: As I was saying, I love the ocean, it's big and it's wet... and we're going on a cruise, Ray!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Wow!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [dryly] Yeah, wow.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Look Homeward, Ray (#1.9)" (1986)
Dr. Raymond Stantz: It would be pure stupidity to go back and try to prove something.
Peter Venkman: Five bucks says he goes back.
[quietly to Winston]
Winston Zeddemore: You're on.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: The equipment isn't defective, I am.
Peter Venkman: Can this guy admit his faults, I ask ya?

Peter Venkman: And we won't be able to sing barber ship quartet anymore!
[to Ray after he quits]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We never did!
Peter Venkman: True, but we could of.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Mrs. Roger's Neighborhood (#1.3)" (1986)
Peter Venkman: [They open fire in a closet where they get high PKE readings] Whoa! Hold it! Cease fire! There's nothing in here but Mrs. Roger's dress.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You mean Mrs. Roger's dress is Watt?
Dr. Egon Spengler: No, Ray, Mrs. Rogers *is* Watt.

Peter Venkman: [can't get Janine on the radio] I wonder what's blocking the transmission.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: She sure is.

Ray: Mrs. Rogers' dress is Wat?
Egon: No, Ray. Mrs. Rogers is Wat.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Last Train to Oblivion (#2.52)" (1987)
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [sees a suitcase floating] Talk about traveling light.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [covered in passengers' clothes] What do we do now?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'd uh, let out the sleeves.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Ragnarok and Roll (#2.3)" (1987)
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [a PKE meter has exploded, leaving a huge crater in the ground] Winston, do you realize the kind of power you must've been in contact with for a single sheet of exposed paper to do THAT?
Winston Zeddemore: No, uh, do I want to?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Only if you want nightmares for the rest of your life!
Winston Zeddemore: I'll pass.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [a demon has scratched the roof of Ecto-1, the Ghostbusters' signature automobile] That THING hurt Ecto-1!
Dr. Peter Venkman: The world's being destroyed and he worries about Ecto-1. We must speak to him later about his priorities.
Winston Zeddemore: If there IS a later...
Dr. Peter Venkman: Y'know, you're really no fun anymore.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Xmas Marks the Spot (#1.13)" (1986)
Winston Zeddemore: [picks up a book] A Christmas Humbug by... Ebenezer Scrooge? But that's the guy we just saved.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: But that's impossible! Unless... we've gone back in time!

Winston Zeddemore: Egon! No, Wait!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Those three ghosts, Egon! Are they?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Of course. I just finished now.
Peter Venkman: Egon, you sure you can't let those three loose without letting them all out?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Correct, but... why would we want to?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Oh, no. I can't believe it. We really done it this time.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Why, what, what did we do?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We just killed Christmas, Egon. Christmas is gone. Forever.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Night Game (#2.7)" (1987)
Additional Voices: It was a test. Would you cheat for your friend, or would you trust in fair play and let good win on its own terms? Perhaps one day we'll meet again.
[vanishes mysteriously]
Egon Spengler: You know, I wish I'd been able to study that umpire a little more closely, gotten a few more readings.
Peter: [looking at Winston] We've saved our buddy here. Isn't that enough?
Winston Zeddemore (I): [confused] What?
Ray Stantz: We knew all along that it was your soul being played for, Winston.
Winston Zeddemore (I): Oh no, you got it wrong. It was your soul we were playing for, Peter. That's why they let me play.
Peter: You mean I almost...! Then if I'd cheated it would have been my...! That's it! From now on I only go to Mets games!

Umpire: It was a test. You had to choose. Would you cheat for your friend or trust in far play and let good win on its own terms. Perhaps one day we'll meet again.
[vanishes mysteriously]
Egon Spengler: You know, I wish I had been able to study that umpire a little more closely, gotten a few more readings.
Peter Venkman (I): [looking at Winston] We've saved our buddy here, isn't that enough?
Winston Zeddemore (I): [confused] What?
Ray Stantz: We knew all along that it was your soul being played for, Winston
Winston Zeddemore (I): Oh no, you got it wrong. It was your soul we were playing for, Peter. That's why they let me play.
Peter Venkman (I): You mean I almost... Then if I'd cheated it would have been my... That's it, from now on I only go to Mets games!


"The Real Ghostbusters: Citizen Ghost (#1.11)" (1986)
Peter Venkman: Where'd he go?
Ray Stantz: [under the car] Where'd who go, Peter?
Peter Venkman: You know, the green guy, the little spud, the... whatever he is...
Ray Stantz: Who? What? Where?
Peter Venkman: Never mind, just keep your ears open.

Ray Stantz: He's right... we do need to give you a name. Just to annoy Peter, what's say we call you Slimer?


"The Real Ghostbusters: No One Comes to Lupusville (#2.16)" (1987)
Peter Venkman: [speaking while both are surrounded by vampires] Boy, it's true what they say: you can't tell one weirdy from another without a score card.
Ray Stantz: Nice going Peter, get their trust.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Back in the Saddle: Part 2 (#1.38)" (1997)
Dr. Egon Spengler: I theorize that this entity will keep on ingesting matter until it's size and density achieves critical mass. And then...
Peter Venkman: Yeah, don't tell me. It will let out one colossal burp.
Dr. Egon Spengler: It will most likely become quasi-gravitational.
Ray Stantz: Like a black hole in space. Instead of moving towards matter, all matter will be drawn to 'it'.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Exactly, Ray. It will, in essence, devour everything there is; starting with New York City, then the eastern seaboard, and eventually...
Janine Melnitz: [intercom] Speaking of eating, quick question. Does anybody want yams instead of mashed potatoes?


"The Real Ghostbusters: Moaning Stones (#2.39)" (1987)
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's no good. We need something even more disharmonic - something with no coherence - not the slightest...
Janine Melnitz: Where are we going to find something like -?
Winston Zeddemore: Peter, old buddy. You still have that tape with you, don't you?
Dr. Peter Venkman: You can't be serious! You can't be talking about my -? Oh no!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Oh yes!


"The Real Ghostbusters: Knock, Knock (#2.40)" (1987)
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Uh oh, here come the neighbors!


"The Real Ghostbusters: Ghosts R Us (#1.1)" (1986)
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Egon's flying a helicopter] So Egon, ever get around to taking those flying lessons?
Dr. Egon Spengler: No.


"The Real Ghostbusters: The Old College Spirit (#2.55)" (1987)
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [being ambushed by the fraternity ghosts] What was that you were saying, Peter, a piece of cake?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Hearsay, Ray, nothing that'll hold up in a court of law.


"The Real Ghostbusters: The Collect Call of Cthulhu (#2.32)" (1987)
Winston Zeddemore: I thought *you* were suppposed to rotate the tires.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I figured why bother? They rotate enough when the car's moving.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey no problem, we'll just put on the spare and...
Dr. Peter Venkman: That *was* the spare.


"The Real Ghostbusters: The Spirit of Aunt Lois (#2.41)" (1987)
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hi Aunt Lois!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Hi, Ray's Aunt Lois.


"The Real Ghostbusters: The Bogeyman Is Back (#3.4)" (1987)
Dr. Peter Venkman: Great! Boogey's back and he's loose in New York.
Ray Stantz: That means that every kid in the city is in danger.
Winston Zeddemore: Including the Junior Ghostbusters!


Casper (1995)
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [runs out of the house frantic] Who you gonna call? Someone else.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Don't Forget the Motor City (#2.59)" (1987)
Winston Zeddemore (I): Couldn't you at least have used a decent color?
Egon Spengler: Pea soup green is my favorite color.
Ray Stantz: I have a tuxedo that color.
Peter Venkman: That's one of the reasons you're such a lonely man, Ray.
Gremlin 1: Couldn't we paint it another color first?
Gremlin 2: What's wrong with pea soup green? I have a diphthong
[?]
Gremlin 2: that color.
Gremlin 1: That's one of the reasons you're such a lonely gremlin, Gorner.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Chicken, He Clucked (#2.26)" (1987)
Morgannon: [Near the end of the episode, after they defeat Cubby] Thanks, fellas. You may be a pain in the neck to my kind most of the time, but for now, I owe you one. See you around - well, uh, one of you anyway.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Peter, Ray, and Egon all look at Peter] How come you guys always look at me when somebody says stuff like that?
Winston Zeddemore, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Raymond Stantz: [All in unison] No comment!


"The Real Ghostbusters: The Scaring of the Green (#2.46)" (1987)
Ray Stantz: [Slimer has just eaten the four-leaf clover Peter has searched high and low for to fight the Bog Hound] Well, now I know what happened to my rabbit's foot...
Dr. Peter Venkman: [aghast, about Slimer] He *ate* it!


"The Real Ghostbusters: Slimer, Come Home (#1.4)" (1986)
Dr. Peter Venkman: Slimer would never run away, he's got it too good here.
Janine Melnitz: Oh no?
[reads the note Slimer left]
Janine Melnitz: No one likes me. I'm always doing bad things. I try but I just can't help myself. So it's better if I leave. Goodbye forever, Slimer.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Can I see that?
[takes the note]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You can read this?
Janine Melnitz: I'm a secretary, I can read anything.


"The Real Ghostbusters: Drool, the Dog Faced Goblin (#2.34)" (1987)
Ray Stantz: [while playing with some toys, he hears a dog barking in the hallway] Will someone shut that dog up! I'm trying to get some work done!
Ray Stantz: [more barking] HEY!
Ray Stantz: [opens the door to his room] Stupid dog, SHUT UP!
[looks down to see a small cat barking like a dog]
Ray Stantz: JEEZ! Must be a mutant strain.
[shuts the door and now hears a cat meowing]
Ray Stantz: [opens the door slowly and looks up to see a very large dog meowing like a cat]
[Slams the door]
Ray Stantz: This is not natural... Even for the Poconos!