Fred Jones
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Quotes for
Fred Jones (Character)
from "Scooby Doo, Where Are You!" (1969)

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Scooby-Doo (2002)
Fred: This is more embarrassing than the time you started cleaning your beans at Don Knotts' Christmas party.

Shaggy: Hey, you guys, look. I know I'm just the dude that carries the bags, but it seems to me we all play an important part in this group. I mean, we're just like a big, delicious banana split. Fred, you're the big banana; Daphne, you're the pastrami and bubble gum-flavoured ice cream; and Velma, you're the sweet-and-sour mustard sauce that goes on top.
Scooby Doo: Mmm-mm.
Shaggy: That sounds pretty good, doesn't it?
Velma: You know what, Shaggy? You've really put it into perspective for me.
Shaggy: Thanks.
Velma: I quit!
Shaggy: NO!
Daphne: No way! You... you can't quit! I was gonna quit in, like, two seconds! And now everyone is gonna totally think I copied off the smart girl!
Fred: Now, wait a minute. wait a minute. Maybe I quit. I do. Yeah, I quit!
Velma: I'm outta here!
Daphne: Good riddance.
Shaggy: Don't... no! Don't go. Come on, guys, don't do this! Please, don't go.
Scooby Doo: Do I quit?
Shaggy: No, Scoob... friends don't quit. Well, it looks like it's just you and me for a while, buddy, old pal.

Shaggy: Hey buddy.
Fred: Shaggy... listen man,someone must have spiked my root beer last night. Talk me down man,talk me down.
Shaggy: Fred,you're a freakin' protoplasmic head.
Fred: I know. But I'm still the best looking protoplasmic head here,I mean.

Fred: Man, we got beats like it was the lizniz on earth, ya know what I'm sayin', G?
Shaggy: [nods, pauses] No.

Velma: I know you. All you care about are swimsuit models.
Fred: Look, I'm a man of substance. Dorky chicks like you turn me on, too.

Fred: Yo-Yo the bi-atch was like what? And I was like layta on.
Shaggy: Fred.
Fred: Yo. What up, dawg?
[to Scooby]
Fred: And, uh... dog?
Scooby Doo: Keepin' it real.

Fred: How many times do I have to tell you? There is no such thing as ghouls, ghosts, goblins or monsters! Listen up, there is absolutely ABSOLUTELY NO SUCH THING AS...
[monster bursts through glass behind him]
Fred: MONSTER!

Scrappy Doo: Scrappy-Dappy-Doo!
Scooby Doo: Hey!
Scrappy Doo: Ghosts don't stand a chance with me! Let me at em. I'll rock 'em and sock 'em.
Fred: Scrappy, for the thousandth time, there's no such things as ghosts!
Scrappy Doo: Sure there are, and when I find them I'll give them a good of puppy power!
[Urinates on Daphne]
Scrappy Doo: Ta-da!
Daphne: Oh God. She's peeing on me!

Fred: Mr. Mononucleosis, we have hit a clue smorgasboard.

Fred: The prince's got his groove on.

Fred: I'm me!
Daphne: I'm back.
Shaggy: Like, me too.
Velma: Told you so.

Fred: Scrappy, I told you no urinating on Daphne.
Scrappy Doo: It was an accident!
Fred: You were marking your territory!

Velma: Daphne? Are you okay?
Daphne: I am so over this damsel in distress nonsense.
Fred: Uh, where's Shagster?
Shaggy: Like, I'm right here, man.
Scooby Doo: Me too.
Shaggy: Hey, Scoob, that was fun. Let's grab another skateboard and, like, do it again,man.
Scooby Doo: Yeah.
[laughs]

Fred: [in Daphne's body] Hey! I can look at myself naked!
Velma: Oh brother.

Velma: I'm gonna solve this one first.
Fred: Not before I solve it first.
Daphne: You guys are going to look like total,total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you.
Mondavarious: Well done.


Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)
Daphne: Freddy, are you okay? Wanna talk?
Fred: Talkin's for wimps.
[Fred gets out of the mystery machine]
Fred: It's time for action.

Fred: Hey! He said my thing that I say!

Daphne: Fred, do you think that I'm just a pretty face?
Fred: No. I mean... yes. I mean *not fat*. Definitely *not fat*. Is this sort of you're looking for?
Daphne: Fat? Why did you even use that word?

Fred: I'm affraid. I'm a wimp, huh?
Daphne: That doesn't make you a wimp. Makes you human.

Daphne: They're cheering for us again.
Fred: I always thought that was the best thing in the world. I guess I found something a bit better.

Daphne: Where is it?
Velma: [mumbling] I gave it to Shaggy and Scooby.
Fred: Ha, that's funny. It sounded like you said you gave it to Shaggy and Scooby.

Fred: You can't fool me with that macho facade. You're just afraid to show your sensitive side.
Black Knight Ghost: Oh... you've touched my inner child... and he's REALLY MAD!

Shaggy: [trying to act like Fred, Daphne, and Velma and reading fax paper upside down] What markings are these?
Fred: [turns fax right side up] Words
Shaggy: Ah, words

Fred: And the real identity of Ned is...
[Fred pulls Ned's Hair]
Ned: Ow!
Fred: [angrily] Ned!

Fred: This is bad.
Shaggy: No doubt.
Fred: Shaggy?
Shaggy: Yeah?
Fred: Who's driving?
Shaggy: Uhh...
[the gang looks back to see who is driving with no one there but Scooby in the passenger seat]
Scooby-Doo: Rello!

Fred: They're totally having a montage in there without us.


Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998) (V)
Velma Dinkley: [trying to find Shaggy and Scooby] I think we should split up.
Fred Jones: Good idea!
Daphne Blake: I'll go with Beau.
Fred Jones: [frowning] Bad idea!

Daphne Blake: [after a birthday surprise by the gang] I've been working so hard lately, I completely forgot today was my birthday.
Fred Jones: I hope you don't mind. I asked the gang to come along.
Daphne Blake: Freddie, it's the best birthday present ever. It'll be like old times.

Simone: The Harvest Moon will soon reach the midnight point on this moon dial. And then, the ceremony will begin!
Fred Jones: What ceremony?
Daphne Blake: You won't get away with this!
Simone: I've been getting away with it for 200 years!
[Simone suddenly turns into a werecat and grins as they gasp in horror]
Fred Jones: At least, Scoob and Shaggy are still free, maybe...
Lena: I heard that, Fred! Those two simpletons? We didn't even bother making wax dolls of them. Waste of time and magic wax!
Fred Jones: Just what do you intend to do with us?
Simone: Ah, it's simple. Every Harvest Moon, I must drain the life force from victims lured to my island, to preserve our immortality.
Daphne Blake: This is more haunted stuff than I really wanted!

Simone: Sometimes, it became necessary for Lena to lure outsiders back to the island.
Fred Jones: [angrily] Just like you lured us!
Lena: I've had years of practice!
Daphne Blake: And those zombies are just the poor souls you drained! They were just trying to warn us so that we wouldn't suffer the same fate they did!
Simone: Pretty smart for a television reporter.

Fred Jones: [Daphne has knocked out a zombie and Fred tries to unmask it while she films] It's the gardener.
Daphne Blake: No!
Fred Jones: [tugs on the zombie's face some more] It's the fisherman.
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: No!
Fred Jones: [continues pulling] It's the ferryman.
[pulls the zombie's head off]
Fred Jones: Maybe it's... real?
[tosses the zombie's head away]
Fred Jones: Yaaaah!
[Daphne catches the head then tosses it to Shaggy, who tosses it to Scooby, who then tosses it back at the zombie]
Daphne Blake: I, I told you it wasn't a mask!
Fred Jones: It, it must be animatronic!
[the zombie gets up and screws his head back on]

Daphne Blake: [opens the kitchen cabinet after hearing Shaggy and Scooby scream from the kitchen to see them shivering in it] Peppers, again?
Scooby-Doo: Ruh-uh! Writing!
Fred Jones: Writing? What writing?
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: [points to a wall where a ghost scratched "GET OUT" into it] L-l-l-like, ghost writing! This place is haunted!

Velma Dinkley: [Lena leads the Mystery Gang to a mysterious room at the end of an underground passage] Looks like a place for voodoo rituals. But why don't we just ask Lena?
Fred Jones: Lena? What are you talking about?
Velma Dinkley: Her story about Simone being dragged by zombies wasn't true! I saw the footprints of Simone's heels. She wasn't dragged. She walked down that tunnel!
Simone: [turns a crank to open the roof where moonlight shines in and enters with a sinister look] Very clever, Velma, but it's too late!

Daphne Blake: What do we have to lose? It's the best lead we've had all day!
Fred Jones: And that Lena is kinda cute.
[Takes a bite out of one of his bénies with some of the frosting getting onto his upper lip]
Daphne Blake: Fred!
Fred Jones: I just meant she'd be very photogenic for our statement. Mmm.
Daphne Blake: Right.
[holds a handkerchief in front of him]
Daphne Blake: Uh... wipe your upper lip, Romeo!


Aloha, Scooby-Doo! (2005) (V)
Manu Tuiama: I really appreciate all you're doing to help me find Snookie, especially given the danger.
Fred Jones: Danger is my middle name.
Velma: I thought it was Herman.

Auntie Mahina: If the ancient mythology is true, the Wiki Tiki will sacrifice Manu and Snookie by throwing them into the volcano.
Daphne: Oh, no!
Fred Jones: Then we've got to climb up there and stop him.
Auntie Mahina: You must go and find the entrance to his lair and enter *through* the mountain.
Shaggy: You mean, like, through spooky caves and stuff?
Auntie Mahina: Yes, through spooky caves and stuff.

[the gang are exploring a cave and Shaggy and Scooby are spooked by a skeleton dressed like Gilligan]
Shaggy: Fred, could I make a suggestion?
Fred Jones: Let me guess. You wanna leave and never come back.
Shaggy: Wow, groovy. It's like you read my mind.

Fred Jones: All right, gang, this is it. When the going gets tough, what do we do?
Shaggy: Bury our heads in the sand?


Scooby-Doo and the Monster of Mexico (2003) (V)
Doña Dolores: Diego Fuente used to do business with my late husband. I don't trust him, never did. He is a... how you say in America?
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: Crook?
Daphne Blake: Liar?
Velma Dinkley: Con man?
Doña Dolores: [waits a beat] Jerk!

Daphne Blake: Okay, Fred, how do you say "hopelessly lost" in Spanish?
Velma Dinkley: It looks like the woods get thicker up ahead.
Daphne Blake: Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: We might.
Velma Dinkley: Mostly coyotes and jaguars and boars.
Daphne Blake: Coyotes?
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: And jaguars?
Velma Dinkley: And boars.
Daphne Blake: Oh, my!

Fred's computer: All right! You've got mail!

Fred 'Freddy' Jones: [after reading Valejo's email] Sound's great! And I can practice my Spanish!
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: [after forwarding the message to Daphne] I thought I'd catch you at your computer. So what do you think?
Daphne Blake: [after reading the message and agreeing with Fred] Of course, I'd love to go to Mexico, yes! I mean-Sí! Let's ask Velma.
Velma Dinkley: [doing a search on her computer and receives the message] Mexico? The art, the museums, the pyramids. I'm there!
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: [to both girls] Great! Let's check with the guys.
[Scooby and Shaggy eating a microwave pizza]
Shaggy: [after waiting impatiently for Scooby at his computer] Mexico? Tomorrow?
[chuckles softly]
Shaggy: [to Scooby] Like, what do we got tomorrow, Scoob? Let's see.
Shaggy: [pulls out a palm pilot and reads what's onscreen] Daydreaming at 10:00, napping, snoozing, relaxing. Sorry guys, looks like I'm booked.
Scooby-Doo: Reah, rooked!
[both Shaggy and Scooby laugh]
Velma Dinkley: [to Shaggy] Do you realize we'll be there for the annual Day of the Dead celebration?
[Shaggy and Scooby stop laughing, only to be shocked by Velma's news]
Shaggy: [to Velma] Like, what's that?
Velma Dinkley: A holiday in which families gather at the cemetery to celebrate their ancestors who are allowed to come back to Earth for two days.
Shaggy: [frightened by Velma's description] Cemetary? Sounds scary!
[Scooby runs into a wardrobe hiding]
Velma Dinkley: [calming Shaggy down] Not at all. Just a bunch of kids in costumes. Lots of skeleton shaped cookies and candy.
[Scooby walks around in the wardrobe]
Daphne Blake: Basically, it's non-stop eating.
Shaggy: [Scooby pops out of the dresser, excited]
Shaggy: [to Scooby] Sounds like Halloween!
Velma Dinkley: Exactly!
Daphne Blake: So, what do you say?
Shaggy: Can't talk now, guys. Like, Scoob and I gotta pack!


Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase (2001) (V)
[the Mystery Gang meet their cyber doubles]
Shaggy, Cyber Shaggy: Zoinks!
Shaggy: You're me!
Cyber Shaggy: And, like, you're me!
Velma: You're the characters in Eric's video game.
Cyber Velma: And you're from the real world!
Velma, Cyber Velma: Jinkies!
Daphne Blake: [after looking at Cyber Daphne's wardrobe] Did I really wear that years ago?
Cyber Daphne: [after looking at the "real" Daphne's wardrobe] That jacket with that skirt?
Daphne Blake, Cyber Daphne: Hmm...
Fred: [complimenting Cyber Fred's wardrobe] Nice ascot.
Cyber Fred: [chuckles] Works for me.

[Scooby and Shaggy see tomatoes growing in the lab and attempt to them]
Shaggy: Zoinks!
Scooby-Doo: Wow!
Bill McLemore: You don't wanna eat those.
Shaggy, Scooby-Doo: Huh?
Bill McLemore: Because they were grown in radioactive soil.
Shaggy: [alarmed] Zoinks!
[Scooby and Shaggy try cleaning the soil off their hands using Shaggy's shirt as a cleanser]
Bill McLemore: Everyone, this is my lab partner, Bill McLamore.
Shaggy, Fred, Velma, Daphne Blake: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Velma: Thanks for keeping Shaggy and Scooby from glowing in the dark.
Eric Staufer: We'll go to dinner after the tour.
Shaggy: But first, can you show us your new video game? Scoob and I have been dying to play it!
Professor Robert Kaufman: No one's playing the game until we get rid of our problem.
Eric Staufer: Professor Kauffman, I'd like you to meet the Mystery Gang I based my game on.
[the Mystery Gang introduces themselves to Kauffman]
Professor Robert Kaufman: Ah, the famous Mystery, Inc.
Shaggy: And that's Scooby-Doo.
[Scooby looks through oddly shaped beakers at his own reflection laughing at them]

Velma: [about the cyber Mystery Gang's wardrobe] I guess it's been a while since we've seen Eric. He hasn't seen our fashion changes.
Daphne Blake: [to Cyber Daphne] We'll go shopping later.
Cyber Shaggy: [carrying a mountain of french fries in a basket to the table] Like, why don't you join us for a little snack?
Shaggy: Man, I thought you'd never ask!
[the Scoobys create a diversion to swipe the basket away from the two Shaggys]
Shaggy: [throws a French fry to Scooby] Here you go, pal.
Scooby-Doo: Rhanks a rot!
Cyber Shaggy, Shaggy: [after noticing the fries are gone] Huh? Hey!
[Both Scooby and Cyber Scooby are scorching down the basket of fries]
Velma: [to the Scoobys] We don't have time to play around. We need to find the Scooby Snax and get outta here!
Cyber Shaggy: You guys need to relax.
Cyber Daphne: Yeah, what are you worried about?
Daphne Blake: Aren't you afraid of the Phantom Virus?
Cyber Fred: Phantom who? Never heard of him.
Daphne Blake: You're kidding!
Velma: Oh, I get it. The Virus isn't part of this game. He has no reason to be looking for our cyber doubles.
[the Phantom Virus approaches the Cyber Café]
Shaggy: You cyber guys are lucky! The Phantom Virus is creepy and has this really scary laugh.
[the Phantom Virus is heard laughing in the distance]
Shaggy: Just like that.
Phantom Virus: Come out and play!
Velma: [as she and Cyber Fred look out the window to see the Phantom Virus is actually standing outside] It's him!
Phantom Virus: Come out, come out!
Cyber Fred: Let's get outta here! The Mystery Machine is out back.
Cyber Fred, Fred: [in unison] I'll drive.

Fred: [while riding in the "classic" Mystery Machine] Wow, this is nostalgic! I miss this old van.
Cyber Fred: In Cyber World, things never get old. It's pretty cool. There's a lot to like in Cyber World. There's stores, theaters, and parks, and lots of tasty food.
Cyber Daphne: But what about all the monsters and villains?
Cyber Shaggy: We haven't seen any. They're probably guarding the Scooby Snacks.
Velma: You mean, you guys don't know where the Scooby Snacks are?
Cyber Velma: We know where they are. There's just no reason go after them, because even if we get the Scooby Snacks, we'd just go right back to the beginning of the game.
Cyber Daphne: And we like it here.
Cyber Shaggy: Until you guys showed up with that Phantom Virus, that is.
Velma: We would gladly get rid of him for you.
Cyber Daphne: If we could.
Fred: You know, if all ten of us team up, the Phantom Virus wouldn't stand a chance!
Cyber Fred: [in agreement] Yeah!
Cyber Shaggy: [after giving this some thought] Well, I guess we gonna go after the Scooby Snax eventually.
Daphne Blake: [to the cyber gang] So you'll help?
Cyber Fred: Count us in!


"What's New, Scooby-Doo?: Simple Plan and the Invisible Madman (#2.9)" (2004)
Velma: [the gang and the band are outside the diner, after the Invisible Madman attacks and ruins the band's rehearsal] Even though I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation, that was way scary!
Fred: At least, we're all safe!
Chuck Comeau: [notices Jeff missing] Well, not everyone. Where's Jeff?
Pierre Bouvier: [looks at Chuck, worried] You don't think he was...?
Shaggy: [Shaggy is scared and worried] Kidnapped by the Invisible Madman?
Pierre Bouvier: I was gonna say, "trying to get out of practice", but that's much worse.
Fred: [looks at Velma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby and thinks of a plot] OK, gang,
[not noticing the band is behind them]
Fred: and uh... band, I've got a plan! Let's split up and look for clues.
Velma: [Velma notices weird footprints leading to the forest] There are footprints here leading out into the forest.
Daphne: Does an invisible man leave footprints?
Fred: Well, there's only one way to find out!
[points out at the girls, Chuck and Pierre]
Fred: Velma, Daphne, Chuck, Pierre and I will follow those tracks.
[points to Shaggy, Scooby, Seb and David]
Fred: Shaggy, you, Scooby, David and Seb take a look around town, and see if you can find any trace of Jeff!
Sebastien Lefebvre: [looking at David] Sounds good!
Velma: [is worried] And complicated.
Sebastien Lefebvre: [talking about Scooby] I'm not worried, since we have that big, strong dog on our team.
[Scooby looks at Seb proudly]
David Desrosiers: [also talking about Scooby] Yeah, I bet nothing frightens him!
[Fred, Daphne and Velma giggle to themselves]
David Desrosiers: [looks at them laughing] What?
Velma, Fred, Daphne: [at different times] Oh, nothing.

Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Pierre Bouvier, Sebastien Lefebvre, Chuck Comeau: [Fred, Seb, Pierre, Chuck, Daphne, Velma and Shaggy are buried in the snow, trying to shake the snow off them. Scooby gets snow in his fur, and shakes the snow off, but gets snow on them] No, Scooby, stop, Scoob!
Scooby-Doo: [giggles] Sorry!
Fred: Is everyone OK?
Shaggy: [Shaggy sees Chuck and Seb dangling from the cliff] Something tells me *they're* not!
Sebastien Lefebvre, Chuck Comeau: Help! Help! Pierre, help me! Help!
Pierre Bouvier: [sees the boys get kidnapped] Oh, no! Chuck and Seb! But that means... I'm the only one left!
Daphne: Well, have you ever thought about a solo career?
[Pierre glances at Daphne, angry]
Daphne: Heh, just asking.

Fred: [Fred and the gang have just rescued the band from the safe. Their equipment is in the middle of the empty street] Since the Invisible Madman has been targeting you guys, all you have to do is start playing and he'll show up!
Pierre Bouvier: No way! We're not gonna be live bait!
Shaggy: [Shaggy laughs] I knew I liked you guys!
Scooby-Doo: Yeah!
Daphne: [Daphne holds up a box of Scooby Snacks] Um... would you do it for some Scooby Snacks?
Pierre Bouvier: [Pierre and the boys are confused as to what "Scooby Snacks" are] "Scooby Snacks"?
Jeff Stinco: What are those?
Chuck Comeau: [disgusted] Yuck!
Sebastien Lefebvre: Huh?
David Desrosiers: Dog treats?
[Daphne tosses the band a Scooby Snack each; and the boys look at it, not knowing what to do with it; except for Seb, who eats his; and then smiles]
Sebastien Lefebvre: Let's do it!
[to the band]
Sebastien Lefebvre: One, two, three, four!
[Simple Plan start playing the intro to their song, "I'd Do Anything"; only to be interrupted by the Invisible Madman knocking over their band equipment]


"The New Scooby-Doo Movies: Wednesday Is Missing (#1.3)" (1972)
Daphne: Something brushed against me!
Fred: That was me!
Shaggy: That's nothing, a *brush* brushed against me!
Pugsley Addams: That was Cousin It.

Velma: [in Fester's lab] Uh oh, I just remembered something. Remember what Uncle Fester made in his lab?
Fred: Yeah, fireworks, so?
[looks at the candle he's holding]
Fred: You don't mean...
Velma: Yep, Roman Candles.
[it explodes]
Daphne: Sparks are landing on the other fireworks!
Fred: Girls, it's time to get out of here!


"The New Scooby-Doo Movies: The Secret of Shark Island (#1.8)" (1972)
Freddy: Come on, Mr. Bono, you don't believe in ghosts, do ya?
Cher: Yeah, what are you, a man or a mouse, squeak up!
Sonny Bono: No, I don't believe in ghosts, like any other sensible person, I'm afraid of them.

Velma: That's the first seaweed that ever clanged...
Freddy: Right. It looks and sounds like gold.


"Robot Chicken: Operation Rich in Spirit (#1.17)" (2005)
Daphne: [She falls backwards from the cabin into a little outdoor layer] That must be Jason's dead mother. This explains everything.
Fred: [He falls on Daphne] That must be Jason's dead mother. This explains everything.
Daphne: Fred, you're an asshole! And that ascot makes you look gay.

Fred: I suggest we split up. Shaggy and Scooby, you check the campground. Velma, you check the woods. Daphne and I will check out the bunkhouse and have some of that nice sex until you get back.
Phyllis Diller: Sex? You? With her? But with that dickey, you couldn't even bag an old bag like me!
[laughs]
Fred: [Fred smacks Phyllis] It's an ascot, you old whore! An ascot!
Phyllis Diller: [Phyllis punches out Fred] Well, your ass got laid out by this old whore, dickey!


"The New Scooby-Doo Movies: The Dynamic Scooby-Doo Affair (#1.2)" (1972)
Fred: [sees two people come in the front door] It's Batman and Robin!
Daphne: What're you doing here?

Velma: What about the vanishing house?
The Joker: The WHAT?
Fred: The farmhouse that really isn't there.
The Joker: Listen you young jackanapes, *I'm* supposed to be the one making the jokes around here.
Daphne: Do you know who Mrs. Baker is?
The Joker: Sure I know who Mrs. Baker is
[points to Scooby]
The Joker: that creature's mother. Bow wow! Arf arf!
Scooby-Doo: Sheesh! Cooorrrny!


"Scooby Doo, Where Are You!: A Night of Fright Is No Delight (#1.16)" (1970)
Fred: Four missing heirs, a haunted house, and a phantom shadow.
Shaggy: Like, all that's missing is a spooky organ.
[an organ begins to play]
Velma Dinkley: It's not missing anymore!


"What's New, Scooby-Doo?: Ready to Scare (#3.5)" (2005)
[Fred is looking through a telescope]
Fred: [to the girls] I can look through the telescope with these little quarter thingies.
Velma: [sarcastically] They're francs.
Fred: [confused] I thought they were mine.


"The New Scooby-Doo Movies: The Ghastly Ghost Town (#1.1)" (1972)
Fred: This desert reminds me of a woman.
Daphne: How so?
Fred: It goes on, and on, and on.


Scooby-Doo! And Kiss: Rock and Roll Mystery (2015) (V)
Fred Jones: [after watching Daphne passionately kiss Starchild] You know you could've cut it off a little earlier, it was kind of gross, I mean I was right there, I was there!
Daphne Blake: [mesmorized] Oh I'm sorry did you say something, "Frank"
[giggles then kisses him]


"Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law: Shaggy Busted (#1.3)" (2002)
Velma Dinkley: [regarding Shaggy and Scooby-Doo] I know the way it looks, Mr. Birdman, but that's just the way they are.
Daphne: Yeah. they always act that way.
Peanut: [ogling Daphne] Oooo. Sprechen Sie sexy...
Harvey Birdman: So you mean to tell me they weren't...
Guard: [walking through scene] Hi.
Fred Jones: Nope. They're just stupid.


Scooby-Doo! Stage Fright (2013) (V)
Daphne: Fred, why do ghosts and monsters and stuff turn up wherever we go? Is it something about us?
Fred: No, this happens to everyone. It would be too much of a coincidence if this only happened to us, so logically, everyone must run into ghosts and monsters all the time.
Daphne: Really?
Fred: Sure! It's simple math. They must be everywhere.


Scooby-Doo in Where's My Mummy? (2005) (V)
Rock Rivers: [finds a scroll and unrolls it] See the ancient text, no doubt written in blood.
Daphne: Eww! Freddie, look, it's the ankh necklace.
Fred: [consulting Omar's journal] I'll translate the ancient writing. "Help, the heavy tourist is pinching my kitten."
Daphne: [grabs the journal] Uh, how about "the necklace is the key to the curse"?
Fred: Ooh! Even better.


"Scooby Doo, Where Are You!: A Gaggle of Galloping Ghosts (#1.11)" (1969)
[first lines]
Fred: Hey, there it is, gang! Franken Castle! The only castle ever imported stone by stone from Transylvania.


"Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated: The Midnight Zone (#2.11)" (2012)
Fred Jones: We're leaving now!
Tub: I wish! Moby's stuck!
Tom: The only way we can leave is if someone stays behind and keeps the doors open with this manual override lever.
Cassidy Williams: I'll do it.
Daphne Blake: No!
Cassidy Williams: I'll be right behind you. Trust me, I'm a fast swimmer. Go! I'll be fine. Go.
Daphne Blake: [stays behind briefly] What we were taking about before, about reget - you weren't talking about me and Fred. You were talking about you and Mr. E. You loved him once, didn't you?
Cassidy Williams: [last words] What E and I had we lost a long time ago. Don't make the same mistake I did. Now go!
[Daphne leaves]


Do You Want to Catch a Villain? (2015) (V)
Fred Jones: Go away you guys


The Scooby-Doo Project (1999) (TV)
Velma Dinkley: Hello, I'm Velma Dinkley, and this is a documentary of one of our mysteries. That's Scooby Doo...
Scooby Doo: Hello.
Velma Dinkley: ...Fred Jones and Daphne Blake.
Fred: Hey, Howya doin'?
Daphne Blake: Of course, I wanna play myself in the movie version.
Velma Dinkley: And that's Norville Rogers.
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: It's Shaggy! Like nobody calls me "Norville"!
Fred: What's the matter, Norville?
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: Th-th-that's not on tape is it?
Daphne Blake: Something wrong, Norville?
Fred: Norville, Norville, Norville!
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: Very funny!
Scooby Doo: Norville!
[Giggles]
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: Et tu, Scoob?


"The New Scooby-Doo Movies: Sandy Duncan's Jekyll and Hyde (#1.7)" (1972)
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: [stuck on a set with Shaggy and Scooby in one behind them] We're in the bank.
Shaggy: Great, you can bail us out, we're in jail.


"Scooby Doo, Where Are You!: Scooby-Doo and a Mummy, Too (#1.12)" (1969)
[last lines]
Fred: Well, gang, I guess that wraps up the mystery. And the mummy, too.
Scooby Doo: Scooby Dooby Doo!


"Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Beware the Beast from Below (#1.1)" (2010)
Sheriff Stone: [after the gang find a cocooned body] From this point forward this is a crime scene and future tourist attraction- stay out of it!
Velma Dinkley: I got a stay out of it right here!
[raises fist]
Fred Jones: Let me talk to him.
Daphne Blake: [dreamily] Don't worry, Fred will make him understand!
Fred Jones: [runs back carrying body] Shaggy, start the car!
Shaggy Rogers: I thought you were gonna talk to him!
Fred Jones: He wasn't in a listening mood.


Scooby-Doo! The Mystery Begins (2009) (TV)
Fred: So, the Bears really slaughtered those Dolphins last night, huh?
Shaggy: What? That's terrible! Who in their right mind would bring bears to the beach?


Scooby-Doo! Pirates Ahoy! (2006) (V)
Fred: [addressing the upset crowd] Sorry everybody, we didn't mean to ruin the cruise for you.
Daphne: There's still the ping-pong championship. Or maybe the potholder weaving seminar?
[everybody gives her a dirty look]
Daphne: The popsicle stick sculpture class.
[everybody gives her a blank look]
Daphne: Anyone for checkers?


"Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Through the Curtain (#2.25)" (2013)
Fred Jones: I'll do it. I'll go.
Daphne Blake: No. We all go together. No more splitting up; never again.


Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders (2000) (V)
Crystal: [after she and Amber have revealed themselves to be aliens and changed back] I have another confession...
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: Like, I know. You're not a government agent.
Crystal: Well actually, we are. But not from Earth. We were sent by our world to investigate signals from your planet.
Amber: [a dog] Transmitted from the south station.
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: Zoinks! You can talk?
Amber: Yes, quite well!
Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers: Like, dig that, Scoob! A talking dog!
Scooby Doo: [surprised] Ryeah!
Fred: [dryly, to Velma and Daphne] Imagine that.


"Scooby Doo, Where Are You!: Bedlam in the Big Top (#1.10)" (1969)
[last lines]
Velma: [applauding Scooby and Shaggy] What an act! It's great!
Fred: What a pair of hams! They're a riot!


Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare (2010) (V)
Freddy Jones: [the gang prepare to split up and seach for clues] Who's with me?
Jessica: I'll go. I'm a certified scuba instructor.
Daphne Blake: [imitating Jessica] 'I'm a certified scuba instructor... '
[Velma giggles]
Freddy Jones: What was that, Daph?
Daphne Blake: Huh? Nothing. I'll go with you.


"What's New, Scooby-Doo?: A Scooby Doo Halloween (#2.6)" (2003)
[Shaggy and Scooby throw Fred and the girls into the Mystery Machine and drive off; Shaggy is driving, Scooby in the front passenger seat, Fred and the girls are sitting in back]
Daphne: Shaggy, Scooby, we weren't done with our wrap up.
Shaggy: I know. But if we don't hurry, we'll never make it in time to Velma's Aunt and Uncle's in time for Halloween.
Fred: [to himself] Wow! So this is what it's like to be in the back seat. It's cool!
Velma: Uh, Halloween is not until tomorrow night.
[as the gang is talking, the gears make a loud grinding sound, which concerns Freddy]
Shaggy: Yeah, but your aunt and uncle live in Banning Junction. It's like the place to spend the holiday! We have to get there early if we wanna beat the crowds.
Fred: Uh, speaking of driving, Shaggy. It looks like your kinda riding the clutch a bit hard there?
Shaggy: [thinking out loud] Candy, rockin' with KISS, more Candy!
[chuckles softly]
Daphne: [in shock] KISS?
Fred: [growing more concerned] You might wanna just put it in third. She's kind of a delicate piece of machinery, Shag.
Shaggy: They're playing at the big Masquerade Ball tomorrow night, and I'm gonna ask Paul Stanley to sign my forehead.
Scooby-Doo: Reah, me too!
[the van drives over a bump in the road]
Fred: [losing his temper; shouting, to Shaggy] YOU'RE KILLING MY MYSTERY MACHINE!
[the gang swaps seats with one another; as Freddie takes the wheel]
Fred: [to the Mystery Machine] Who's a good Mystery Machine? Who's a good girl? Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
[the girls look at Fred in disgust]


Chill Out, Scooby-Doo! (2007) (V)
[last lines]
Freddy: Guys, I think I got the wrong plane.
Velma: Here we go, again.
Daphne: Oh, now where?
Shaggy: Like, step on it Scoob. Next stop, the Amazon Jungle.
Scooby Doo: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!


Scooby-Doo and the Loch Ness Monster (2004) (V)
Fred: Well gang, welcome to - Drumna... Drummy - Drumno... Dramunoono...
Scooby-Doo: Drumnadrochit!
Shaggy: Gesundheit!


"The New Scooby-Doo Movies: The Haunted Candy Factory (#2.7)" (1973)
Shaggy: [Shaggy lowers a licorice rope down a vent but Scooby puts the end in his mouth and starts eating it] Do you see the end yet, Freddy?
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: No, not yet.
Shaggy: [beat] How about now?
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: No.
Shaggy: Boy, you guys must be 10 floors down.
[sees Scooby eating the rope]
Shaggy: Give me that,
[lowers the rope]
Fred 'Freddy' Jones: Now I see it, you must've just started feeding it.
Shaggy: Wrong, I just STOPPED feeding it.


"Family Guy: I Never Met the Dead Man (#1.2)" (1999)
Peter Griffin: Huh, I wonder what Scooby and the gang are up to?
[Scooby-Doo theme plays]
TV Announcer: We now return to The Scooby-Doo Murder Files.
Fred Jones: Gee whiz, gang. Looks like the killer gutted the victim, strangled him with his own intestines and then dumped the body in the river.
Velma: Jinkies! What a mystery!
Scooby-Doo: [jumps on Shaggy's arms] Arroo!
Fred Jones: You're right Scoob, we're dealing with one sick son of a bitch!


Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) (VG)
Shaggy: Man, it said we're gonna pay a price!
Fred: Shaggy, what could possibly happen by pushing the doorbell again?