Dana Barrett
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Quotes for
Dana Barrett (Character)
from Ghostbusters (1984)

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Ghostbusters II (1989)
Dana: His name is Oscar.
Peter Venkman: Named after a hot dog. You poor man. You poor, poor man.

Dana: Okay, but after dinner, don't put any of those old cheap moves on me. It's different now.
Peter Venkman: Oh, no! I have all NEW cheap moves.

Dana: You're much better than you realize. You don't give yourself enough credit.
Peter Venkman: I need to hear that kind of stuff. You know, if I had this kind of stuff for like on a 24-hour basis, I could have myself whipped into shape by the end of this century.

[Dana hands Oscar to Peter]
Dana: It's late, I really ought to put him down.
Peter Venkman: May I?
Dana: Yeah, if you want to.
Peter Venkman: [points in baby's face] You're short, your bellybutton sticks out too far, and you're a terrible burden on your poor mother.

Dana: How is he these days?
Egon: Peter? Well, he was borderline for a while... then he crossed the border.

Janosz: This is Prince Vigo, the ruler of Carpathia and Moldavia.
Peter Venkman: Bit of a sissy, isn't he?
Janosz: He was a very powerful magician, Dr. Venkman. And, a genius in many ways.
Dana: He was also a lunatic and a genocidal madman. I hate this painting.

Peter Venkman: So, what happened to Mr. Right? I heard he ditched you and went to Europe.
Dana: He did not ditch me. We had some problems, and he got a very good offer from an orchestra in London and he took it.
Peter Venkman: So he ditched you?

Dana: Hello, Peter.
Peter Venkman: [whips around Melodramatically, and speaks in a soap opera-esque deep tone] Hello, Dana.

Peter Venkman: Dana, you just never got it. I'm a man, I need to feel loved. I need to be desired!
Dana: When you started introducing me as the old ball and chain, that's when I left.

Dana: You know, I think we got more food on your shirt than we did in your mouth. Bath... yes, bath. It's your favorite thing. Bath. It's your favorite thing! It's your favorite thing! Because I know what you get to do. You know what you get to do? You know what's more fun than anything? Huh? Splash Mommy. "I get to splash Mommy!" Yes! Now to get ready for this, Mommy's going to take her shirt off too...
[Takes off shirt, picks Oscar up. Turns around. The mass of pink slime reaches for Oscar and attacks; Dana screams and runs]

Peter Venkman: [to Dana] Well you're probably feeling what Vigo's feeling: "Carpathian Kitten Loss." He misses his kitty! Well, we'll just place one in here right by the castle.
[Peter grabs a brush and moves towards the Vigo painting]
Janosz: [Trying to stop Peter] Don't go 'round altering valuable art, Dr. Venkman... go... yes, I think, go... the joyfulness is over!
Dana: [to Janosz] He's kidding.
Peter Venkman: Well, you're not gonna get a green card with that attitude, pal!

Dana: So what do you think?
Peter Venkman: Well, he's ugly. I mean, he's not Elephant Man ugly, but he's not attractive. Was his father ugly?
Dana: [to Oscar] Don't listen.
Peter Venkman: And he stinks! You're ripe, Senor! Did his father stink? Yeah, I bet Daddy was smelly, wasn't he?
Dana: But seriously, there's nothing... unusual about him, is there?
Peter Venkman: Well, I don't have a lot of experience with babies... but you're excited now, because Mama's here to get your stool sample!
Dana: Stool sample?
Peter Venkman: Yeah...

Peter Venkman: Dana, did you see some shirts here in the floorboard area?
Dana: Yeah, I put them in the hamper.
Peter Venkman: I have a hamper?

Peter Venkman: Dana, the guys are going down to the sewer to check for slime stuff. And Egon thinks there may be a huge surge in cockroach breeding. Want to blow off this dinner thing and go with them?
Dana: Taxi!

Ghostbusters (1984)
[Inspecting Dana's refrigerator for paranormal activity]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, my *God*. Look at all the junk food!
Dana Barrett: No, goddammit. Look, this wasn't...
Dr. Peter Venkman: You actually eat this stuff?
Dana Barrett: Look, this wasn't here! There was *nothing* here! There was a space and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and there were creatures writhing around, and they were growling and snarling. And there were flames, and I heard a voice say "Zuul"! It was right here.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any readings.
Dana Barrett: Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, I... I think so, but I'm sure there are no animals in there.
Dana Barrett: Well that's great. Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [smiles] I don't think you're crazy.
Dana Barrett: [sarcastically] Oh, good, that makes me feel so much better.

Dana Barrett: You know, you don't act like a scientist.
Dr. Peter Venkman: They're usually pretty stiff.
Dana Barrett: You're more like a game show host.

[Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of.
[She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes. Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.

Dana Barrett: [reading from the printout] "Zuul was the minion of Gozer." What's Gozer?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Gozer was very big in Sumeria.
Dana Barrett: Well, what's he doing in my ice box?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm working on that.

Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime.

Dana Barrett: [possessed by Zuul] Do you want this body?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question?

Dr. Peter Venkman: I guess the roses worked, huh?
Dana Barrett: [possessed by Zuul] Take me now, subcreature.

Dr. Peter Venkman: What I'd really like to do is talk to Dana. Dana? It's Peter.
Dana Barrett: There is no Dana, there is only Zuul.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, Zuulie, you nut, now c'mon. Just relax, c'mon. I want to talk to Dana. Dana, Dana. Can I talk to Dana?
Dana Barrett: [in an inhuman demonic voice] There is no Dana, only Zuul!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What a lovely singing voice you must have.

Dana Barrett: [as The Gatekeeper] I want you inside me.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [referring to her radical change in personality] Go ahead! No, I can't. It sounds like you've got at least two or three people in there already.

[Dana is possessed]
Dr. Peter Venkman: So, what are we doing today, Zuul?
Dana Barrett: We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Gozer huh?
Dana Barrett: The Destructor.
[long pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Are we still going out?

Louis: [possessed by Vinz Clortho] I am The Keymaster!
Dana Barrett: [possessed by Zuul] I am The Gatekeeper!

Dana Barrett: [gets off the elevator and Louis comes out of his apartment]
Louis: Oh, Dana, it's you!
Dana Barrett: Oh hi. Yes Louis, it's me.
Louis: I thought it was the drugstore.
Dana Barrett: Oh, are you sick?
Louis: Oh! No, no, I'm fine, I feel great! Just ordered some more vitamins and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped a 20-minute workout and played it back at high speed on my machine so it only took ten minutes. I got a great workout.
Dana Barrett: Good...
Louis: You wanna come in for a mineral water or something?
Dana Barrett: Oh, I'd really like to, Louis, but I have to go rehearsal now. Excuse me.
Louis: No sweat, I'll take a rain check on that. I always have plenty of low sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house. But you already know that.
Dana Barrett: [dryly] Yeah, I know that...
Louis: Listen, that reminds me, I'm having a big party for all my clients, my fourth anniversary as an accountant, you know, and even though you do your own tax return, which you shouldn't do, I'd like you to stop by, being that you're my neighbor and all.
Dana Barrett: [interrupting] Well thank you, Louis, I'll really try to stop by.
Louis: Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn't leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The creep down the hall phoned the manager.
Dana Barrett: That's strange, I didn't realize I'd left it on.
[unlocks her door]
Louis: [droning on] Well yeah, you know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable, but I couldn't get in, so you know what I did? I turned my TV up real loud too so everyone would think all our TVs had something wrong with them.
Dana Barrett: [abruptly closing her door] Bye, Louis.
Louis: [alone again] Okay, so I'll see you later, huh? I'll give you a call! I'm going to go have a shower.
[tries to go back into his apartment but he's locked himself out]

Dr. Peter Venkman: Let me tell you something about myself. I come home from work to my place and all I have is my work. There's nothing else in my life!
Dana Barrett: Dr. Venkman...
Dr. Peter Venkman: I meet you, and I say, my God, there's someone with the same problem I have.
Dana Barrett: Yes. We both have the same problem. You!
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm gonna go for broke. I am madly in love with you.
Dana Barrett: I don't believe this. Will you please leave?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to an invisible audience] And then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a creep, she thought I was a geek, and she probably wasn't the first.
Dana Barrett: You are so odd.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, what do you think?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [looking up and blinding Peter with his headlamp] She's telling the truth. At least, she thinks she is.
Dana Barrett: Well, of course I'm telling the truth! Who would make up a story like that?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [becoming suave] Some are people who just want attention. Others, just nutballs who come in off the street.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know what it could be? Past-life experience intruding on present time.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Could be race memory stored in the collective unconscious. I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact either.
Dana Barrett: I'm sorry, I don't believe in any of those things.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's all right. I don't either.