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Quotes for
Genie (Character)
from Aladdin (1992)

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Aladdin (1992)
Aladdin: Princess Jasmine, you're very...
Genie: Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious! Punctual!
Aladdin: Punctual!
Princess Jasmine: Punctual?
Genie: Sorry.
Aladdin: Uh, beautiful!
Genie: Nice recovery.

Aladdin: Wish fulfillment?
Genie: Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's it. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.

Genie: [as a female flight attendant] Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye.
Genie: [back to normal] Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Aladdin: Oh, you sure showed me. Now, about my three wishes.
Genie: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by one, boy!
Aladdin: Ah, no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave, huh. You did that on your own.
[Genie's mouth drops]
Genie: Oh, I feel sheepish.
[he turns into a sheep]
Genie: All right, you ba-a-a-ad boy. But no more freebies.

Genie: [as Jack Nicholson] All right, Sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it?
Aladdin: What?
Genie: [pointing to each word on a blackboard] Tell her, the TRUUUUUUTH!

Genie: Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.

Genie: [as a group of cheerleaders] Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake! Stick that sword into that snake!
Jafar: [as a snake] You stay out of thisss!
Genie: [weakly] Jafar, Jafar, he's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!

Jafar: [from inside the lamp] Get your blasted beak out of my face!
Iago: Oh, shut up, you moron!
Jafar: Don't tell me to shut up!
Genie: [taking the lamp off Aladdin] Allow me. Ten thousand years in a Cave of Wonders ought to chill him out!
[flicks them into the distance]

Aladdin: Genie, I wish for your freedom.
Genie: One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I... What?
Aladdin: [holds the lamp up to Genie] Genie, you're free!

Aladdin: You're a prisoner?
Genie: It's all part and parcel, the whole genie gig.
[grows to a gigantic size]
Genie: Phenomenal cosmic powers!
[shrinks down inside the lamp]
Genie: Itty bitty living space!

Genie: Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her.
Aladdin: Huh?
Genie: She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature.

[Aladdin is close to drowning, and his unconscious body falls and rubs against the lamp]
Genie: [appearing with a bathing cap and washing his back] Never fails. You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.
[squeaks rubber duckie]
Genie: Hello!
[sees Aladdin]
Genie: Al? Al! Kid! Snap out of it! Oh, you can't cheat on this one. I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say, "Genie, I want you to save my life." Got it? Okay!
[shakes Aladdin]
Genie: Come on, Aladdin!
[Aladdin's head droops]
Genie: I'll take that as a yes.
[he changes into a submarine and pulls Aladdin out of the sea]

Genie: Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.

[Genie and Carpet are playing chess]
Genie: So, move.
[Carpet makes a move]
Genie: Hey! That's a good move.
[as Rodney Dangerfield]
Genie: I can't believe it. I'm losing to a rug.

Genie: Oh, Al. I'm getting kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything.

Genie: But, oh, to be free! Not to have to go "Poof! What do you need?", "Poof! What do you need?", "Poof! What do you need?" To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, it's not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.

Aladdin: They wanna make me Sultan. No, they wanna make Prince Ali Sultan. Without you, I'm just Aladdin.
Genie: Al, you won!
Aladdin: Because of you. The only reason anyone thinks I'm worth anything is because of you. What if they find out I'm not really a prince? What if Jasmine finds out? I'd lose her. Genie, I can't keep this up on my own. I... I can't wish you free.
Genie: [disappointed] Fine, I understand. After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out. Now, if you'll excuse me, Master!
[disappears into lamp resentfully]

Genie: [leaving to travel the world] I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am. I'm free-hee!

[last lines]
Genie: Made you look.

Aladdin: Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Huh.
[to Abu]
Aladdin: Some all powerful Genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way outta here.
Genie: [stomps his foot to stop Aladdin, Abu, and Carpet from leaving] Excuse me?
Genie: [scoffs]
Genie: Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so, not right now. You're getting your wishes, so sit down!

Genie: [as tailor] First, that fez and vest combo is much too third century. These patches. What are we trying to say? Beggar? No. Let's work with me here.
[after taking measurements, turns Aladdin's rags into fine clothes]
Genie: Ooh, I like it! Muy macho!

Genie: What would you wish of me?
[as Arnold Schwarzenegger]
Genie: The ever impressive...
[as if trapped in a box]
Genie: ... the long-contained...
[as SeÒor Wences]
Genie: ... the often immitated, but never...
[multiplies himself]
Genie: ... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... Genie of the Lamp!
[as Ed Sullivan]
Genie: Right here, direct from the lamp. Right here for your very much wish-fulfillment. Thank you.

Genie: I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name?
Aladdin: Uh... uh, Aladdin.
Genie: Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie?
[turns into a Scotsman]
Genie: Sounds like, 'Here, boy!'
[whistles]
Genie: 'C'mon, Laddie!'
[turns into a dog]
Aladdin: I must've hit my head harder than I thought.

Genie: Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?

Genie: I'm free. I'm free. Quick. Quick. Wish for something outrageous. Say, "I, I want the Nile." Wish for the Nile. Try that!
Aladdin: Uh... I wish for the Nile.
Genie: No way!
[laughs]
Genie: Oh, does that feel good!

["Snake" Jafar has Aladdin in a tight squeeze]
Jafar: You little fool. You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth.
Iago: Squeeze him, Jafar. Squeeze him like a- Awk!
[Genie elbows Iago and knocks him into the air]
Jafar: Without the Genie, boy, you're nothing.
Aladdin: The Genie... The Genie! The Genie has more power than you'll ever have!
Jafar: What?
Aladdin: He gave you your power. He can take it away.
Genie: [smiling uncomfortably] Al, what're you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?
Aladdin: Face it, Jafar. You're still just second best!
Jafar: [slightly shocked] You're right. His power does exceed my own. But not for long.

Aladdin: Wait, wait a minute. I'm... your master?
Genie: [gives Aladdin a mortar cap and diploma] That's right! He can be taught!

[last lines after credits, special edition only]
Genie: You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!

Genie: Al, I can't help you. I work for Senor Psychopath now.

Genie: [on Carpet] In case of emergency, the exits are here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here - anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet!
[zapping Carpet out from the cave]
Genie: We're... outta here!

Aladdin: So, three wishes. Hm, I want them to be good. What would you wish for?
Genie: Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in my case... Ah, forget it.
Aladdin: What?
Genie: No, I can't tell you.
Aladdin: C'mon, tell me.
Genie: Freedom!

Genie: [whispers] Psst. Your line is "I'm going to free the Genie." Anytime.

Genie: [sniffs tearfully] No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me.
Sultan: That's right! You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's that law that's the problem.
Princess Jasmine: Father?
Sultan: Well, am I Sultan or am I Sultan? From this day forth, the Princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy.
Princess Jasmine: Him! I choose... I choose you, Aladdin.
Aladdin: [chuckles] Call me Al.

Genie: So, what'll it be, Master?
Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?
Genie: [as William F. Buckley] Uh, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos.
Aladdin: Like?
Genie: [normal] Uh, rule #1: I can't kill anybody.
[cuts his head off]
Genie: So don't ask.
Genie: [fixes his head] Uh, rule #2: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else.
[turns into a pair of lips and kisses Aladdin]
Genie: You little punim there.
Genie: [turns into a cross between slimy Genie and Peter Lorre] Rule #3: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!
[he returns to normal]
Genie: Other than that, you got it.

Genie: [after explaining to Aladdin that he can grant any wish his heart desires] You ain't never had a friend like me!

Genie: Do you mind if I kiss the monkey?
[kisses Abu's head then coughs up small ball of fur]
Genie: Oh! Hairball.

Genie: [as he is being released] You know, Al, I'm getting really...
[notices Jafar]
Genie: I don't think you're him.
Genie: [reading a script] Tonight the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man.
Jafar: I am your master now!
[crushes Genie under his foot]
Genie: [muffled] I was afraid of that.
Jafar: Genie, grant me my first wish. I wish to rule on high, as Sultan!

[Aladdin has tricked Jafar into wishing to be a more powerful genie than Genie]
Jafar: The universe is mine to command! To control!
Aladdin: Not so fast, Jafar! Aren't you forgetting something?
Jafar: Huh?
Aladdin: You wanted to be a genie? You got it!
[cufflinks form on Jafar's wrists]
Jafar: What?
Aladdin: And everything that goes with it.
[Aladdin holds up a black genie lamp, which sucks Jafar in]
Jafar: No! No!
Iago: I'm getting out of here!
Aladdin: Phenomenal cosmic powers...
[Iago tries to flee, but Jafar grabs him]
Iago: Come on, you're the genie. I don't want, I don't...!
[both Jafar and Iago disappear in the lamp]
Aladdin: ...itty bitty living space.
Genie: Al, you little genius, you!

Aladdin: Hey... can you make me a prince?
Genie: [opens 'Royal Recipes' book] Uh, let's see. "Chicken à la King"?
[chuckles]
Genie: Nope. "Alaskan king crab".
[pulls out a crab clamped to his finger]
Genie: [flicking it off] Ow. I hate when they do that. "Caesar salad-"
[arm with a knife raises from the book trying to stab him]
Genie: Aah! Et tu, Brute? No. Aha! "To make a prince."

Aladdin: Jasmine? I'm sorry I lied to you about being a prince.
Princess Jasmine: I know why you did.
Aladdin: Well, I guess... this... is goodbye?
Princess Jasmine: Oh, that stupid law. This isn't fair! I love you.
[Genie wipes away a tear from his eyes]
Genie: Al, no problem. You've still got one wish left. Just say the word, and you're a prince again.
Aladdin: But, Genie, what about your freedom?
Genie: Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love! Al, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked.

[Genie is trying to organize an appropriate mode of transport for "Prince Ali" aka Aladdin and puts Abu the monkey through a series of transformations]
Genie: [finally... ] Yes! Esalalumbo shimin Dumbo!
[he turns Abu into an elephant]
Genie: Talk about your trunk space. Check this action out!

Genie: The boy is crazy. He's a little punch-drunk - one too many hits with the snake.

[Jasmine has rejected "Prince Ali's" first advances toward her]
Genie: [as a bee] Stop her! Stop her! Want me to sting her?
Aladdin: Buzz off.
Genie: OK, fine. But remember, "bee" yourself.

Genie: Well, l can't do any more damage around this Popsicle stand. l'm... outta here!


Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996) (V)
Genie: Geronimo! Arapaho! Navajo! Pocahontas.

Genie: And your name is?
Thor: [with a lisp] I'm Thor.
Genie: You're Thor?
Thor: [with a lisp] Well it hurth.

[Cassim has not showed up at the wedding]
Aladdin: Where is he?
[Genie changes into Pumbaa from the Lion King]
Genie: Hakuna Matata!
[Changes back]
Genie: Whoa. I was having an out of movie experience.

Iago: Allow me to introduce.
Cassim: [laughs]
Cassim: The King of Thieves.
[Genie shrieks, then calls on a walkie-talkie]
Genie: All units, we have a Code Red.

Genie: Once again, this whole broadcast has been brought to you by Sand. It's everywhere, get used to it.

[the Genie has Cassim surrounded; Aladdin tries to push his way through them]
Aladdin: Genie.
Genie: Back off, Al, this creep's got a yellow sheet as long as my arm.
Aladdin: Genie meet my dad.
Genie: [confused and defeated] Stand down men. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
[all other genies disappear leaving him alone]

Genie: Al, you're back! And your front! You're both here!

Genie: Maybe you you could elope. No, you can't elope. But, oh, honey dew!

Genie: Oh, look, it's a Kodiak moment!
[a Kodiak bear appears and roars ominously]
Genie: Put that bear out of here.

Genie: [as Forrest Gump] Mama always said, "Magic is as magic does".

Genie: [as Bing Crosby] I'm sure Ali Baba and the boy are on the road to Agrabah right now. Isn't that right, Bob?
Genie: [as Bob Hope] That's right, Bing. How 'bout this town? Is it wild or what? It's like one giant sand trap, and me without my wedgie. Hey, let's give a big hand for Brooke Shields.

Genie: If you're Al's dad, and the King of Thieves, I just wanna know one thing.
Cassim: Yeah?
Genie: Will you be having the chicken or the sea bass?

Genie: [Genie's pointing an elephant towards some thieves] Don't make me use the other end!

Genie: [after elephants run over the Magic Carpet] Oh, they trampled the carpet! That's a little redundant. So this isn't a bad day for you really, is it?

Genie: [singing] They're finally getting married!
Sultan of Agrabah: [singing] They're finally getting married!
Thieves: [singing] They're finally getting married!
Iago: [singing] Look at all these presents!
Princess Jasmine: [singing] We're finally getting married!
Abu the Monkey: [squeaking] You're finally getting married!
Aladdin: [singing] I'm finally getting married!

Genie: [singing] There's a party here in Agrabah / Guests are filling up the room / But there's something missing. Yes, uh huh!
Sultan of Agrabah: Where is the groom?

RoboGenie: You have violated the perimeter of the Aladdin and Jasmine Wedding.
[activates lasers]
RoboGenie: Prepare to be vaporized. Thank You!
[he fires his laser beams at Aladdin and the others, but they avoid them]
Genie: Armed and dangerous!
[to Aladdin]
Genie: I'd like to see one of those Forty Thieves get within an inch of your wedding.

Genie: Oh, no. The crowd is parting. Who's coming? It's Moses!

Genie: [as Mrs. Doubtfire] Listen to Genie, dear. Genie knows. You've got to get your mind off this incessant waiting.

Genie: [multiple Genies are pointing their guns at Cassim] Do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves.

Genie: Oh look! There's Osiris. Oh, Osiris! Osiris, could we have a word with you?
Osiris: Squawks.

Genie: Bad new, Al. The boutonnieres clash with the cummerbunds!
Aladdin: [Referencing to the crowd of guest] Genie, isn't it a little late for that?
Genie: What? What are you trying to say? Out with it! What-wha...
Genie: [Finally notices crowd] ... hehe. They're he-e-ere. OH NO-HO-HO-HO!
Genie: [Transforms into The White Rabbit from "Alice In Wonderland"] I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!
[Runs out of room]

Genie: Uh-Oh. Uh-Oh. Definitely an oracle-tells the future. Uh-Oh.

Razoul the Chief Guard: Our princess is to wed.
Genie: [as a beggar] Oh, wonderful!

Genie: [crying at the wedding] It's all so magical. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not.
[sobs loudly for several seconds, then loudly blows his nose into Carpet]

Genie: [the wedding pavilion starts shaking] I thought the earth wasn't supposed to move until the honeymoon.

Genie: [seeing the wedding guests assembled for the wedding] They're here.
[turning into the White Rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland"]
Genie: Oh no-ho-ho-ho!
[runs up the aisle and out the door, singing]
Genie: I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date.

[after the 'Party in Agrabah' number ends]
Genie: [dancing] 'Sa goin' on now! gotta partay! Gotta partay! Help me! I Can't stop myself! Somebody rub the lamp! Somebody rub the lamp! Oh, you know I feel it!
[sees everyone staring at him]
Genie: That's enough.

Genie: Hello? Somebody's gonna be late for his own wedding!
Aladdin: Hold on Genie, there's something I need.
Genie: [winks] I gotcha...
[turns into a woman popping out of a cake]
Genie: It's a bachelor party, big boy!
Genie: [to Carpet with a mug of beer] None for you! You're the designated flyer.

Genie: [as Chico Marx] Hey, that's-a no good. What a wedding needs is a theme!
Genie: [as Groucho] Needs a groom too, but let's work with what we have!
[waggles eyebrows]
Princess Jasmine: [offended] Genie!
Genie: It's a joke! I do that.

Genie: Okay, let's see, this will be the second wedding for both of you, I'm thinking we need something a little more simple, a little more elegant... and less gray.
[pulls an elephant out of thin air]
Genie: Did it, done it, own it.

Genie: [turning a honeydew into a coach] I don't know whether to put it under props or produce!
[to Jasmine]
Genie: Please don't squeeze the tires, they're not ripe.

Genie: [dressing Jasmine up as Snow White] And how 'bout that gown? Whether you're dancing with dwarves or simply biting the apple, it says 'I'm a princess for now!'
Princess Jasmine: Uh, Genie...
Genie: Hey, it's synergy! The marketing guys are very excited, tests really well.
[grafts Jasmine's head onto Ariel, Minnie Mouse and Jessica Rabbit]

Genie: [playing with wedding themes] Okay, Madonna - don't keep it, just put that in the mix. Wink.
[fills the room with neon signs and flashing lights]
Genie: Oh, I see lasers! It's a miracle! He believes!
[as Elvis]
Genie: Thank ya very much.
Princess Jasmine: I don't think so.
Genie: [back to normal] Très gauche, right?

Genie: Your honor, if I may enter a plea of insanity? Because I am CRAZY about this kid!
[noogies Aladdin]

Aladdin: I was so stupid to think I could change him.
Genie: Trying to show him a better life wasn't stupid, Al.
Genie: [speaking with his hand, high voice] Leaving him alone with the parrot, that was stupid.

Genie: [as a wrestling commentator] He's got him in the half-nelson, now he's got him in the full-nelson! Oh no! The dreaded 'Ozzie Nelson!'
Genie: [as Ozzie Nelson] Rick, boys, maybe you wanna come over here and see what's happening'?

[after Iago comes back]
Iago: [breathlessly] Al's... Dad... Sa'luk...
Princess Jasmine: [picks him up] Just take a deep breath, Iago. Now what about Aladdin's father?
Iago: It's Sa'luk! The guy Al beat! He's not beat; he's back! And he's got Cassim!
Aladdin: [knowingly] That's his problem! He chose to go back to that life.
Genie: Al, I know your dad made a lot of bad choices - but that doesn't mean you have to.
Princess Jasmine: He is your father. How can you do anything else?
[Aladdin turns away and thinks about it]
Aladdin: I'm being as stubborn as he was.
[after a pause]
Aladdin: [smiles] Show me the way!


DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp (1990)
Genie: [looks through an encyclopedia] Las Vegas must be some place if Caesar built his palace there!

Huey: Gee, I guess one of us has got to wish for peace and happiness all over the world.
Genie: Hey. These are wishes, not miracles.

Genie: Do you have to yell at me all the time?
Scrooge McDuck: If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be in this mess. Thanks to you, I've got this crazy animal act on my tail.
Genie: That's it, blame the genie. I only saved your life.

Huey: How about a small speedboat?
Genie: Oh, sure. You want that with or without an ocean?
Huey: A little much, huh?
Genie: Well, just a tad.

Genie: I don't hear anything. I think they're gone.
Scrooge McDuck: Where are we?
Genie: Well, it's not exactly the Ritz...
Scrooge McDuck: Not the lamp?
Genie: I'm sorry about the mess. But you'll get used to it after a couple of thousand years. Could you move your elbow, please?
Scrooge McDuck: GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Huey: This is Geni... Gene, yeah, Gene.
Scrooge McDuck: You're new around here?
Genie: Yeah, kinda. I pretty much pop up every now and then.

[Upon Merlock's arrival, a bear's claw comes smashing through the door]
Scrooge McDuck: He's got a bear?
Genie: He IS the bear!

Genie: What's more important - a fortune or your life?
Scrooge McDuck: [thinking] Well...
Genie: Hey! It's not exactly a trick question.

Dewey: Quick, get back in the lamp!
Genie: No! Not the lamp! Put me in a dog house, a madhouse, even a house of pancakes! Anywhere but the lamp!

Huey: Wait a second. What about our wishes?
Genie: Wishes? Do I look like a birthday cake?
Huey: Oh, come on! You can't fool us! A genie is supposed to grant wishes.
Webby: That's three wishes for every master.
Genie: Oh, geez! Everyone remembers that part.

Dewey: [referring to Merlock] He can't still be alive.
Louie: He'd be ancient.
Huey: Yeah, older than Uncle Scrooge, even.
Genie: Yes, except his first wish was to live for ever.
Huey: Oh! Good wisher!
Genie: [bursts into tears] No, BAD wisher! You don't know! He made me do the worst things!
Dewey: Like what?
Genie: Did you ever hear of Atlantis? It was everybody's favorite resort until Merlock couldn't make any reservations! Then down she went!... And poor Pompei! Mount Vesuvius would never had blown its top if Merlock hadn't blown his!
Louie: But what are you worried about? He used up all his wishes.
Genie: But that's just it - Merlock has unlimited wishes, because he has a magic talisman. It's what gives him all his powers... and when he puts it on the lamp, he gets as many wishes as he wants! Now you see why I'm a little jumpy?
Louie: Well, maybe we should wish for the talisman?
Genie: No, that's the one wish I can't do. You'll have to steal it from him yourself, and good luck!
Louie: Well, don't worry about that mean old master now.
Dewey: Yeah, he has no idea you're here with us.
Huey: And that's the way it's going to stay.

Genie: First, you have to hold the lamp...
Louie: Yeah?
Genie: Then, say, "I wish."
Huey: Yeah?
Genie: Then wish for something.
Huey: That's all?
Dewey: Boy! It's even user-friendly!

Genie: Shabooey!

Huey: Can't he stay with us, Uncle Scrooge?
Dewey: Yeah.
Scrooge McDuck: Oh no! I'm not letting this wee gold mine out of my sight!
Dewey: But he's our friend.
Scrooge McDuck: Nonsense! A genie's not a person! A genie is a-a-a... a thing!
[holds up lamp]
Scrooge McDuck: Inside.
Genie: Bye, guys. It was great while it lasted.

Louie: I'm going to wish for a million wishes!
Genie: Get serious! That never works!

Genie: Finally, room to stretch! My foot's been asleep for six centuries.

Huey: You read the whole encyclopedia?
Genie: Cover to cover to cover... what's this? Baseball? Bowling ball? Cinderella's ball?
Huey: No, it's a globe of the Earth.
Genie: Get back. You mean the Earth isn't flat? I must have missed that part.
Louie: Boy, he HAS been in that lamp for a long time!

[for her first wish, Webby wished for a baby elephant and the genie grants it against his will; a baby elephant appears in the room]
Genie: Now look what you've gone and done!
Webby: What's wrong? She's cute.
Genie: And big! Big wishes always big trouble! The bigger the wish, the bigger the trouble!
Louie: He's right. One look at that elephant, and Uncle Scrooge will want to know what's up.
Genie: Everyone who sees it will, and pretty soon, everyone will be fighting over me, the wishes will get out of control, and I'll end up being in the lamp for another thousand years!
Louie: Jeepers! I hadn't thought of that!
Genie: So please, please! Make small wishes!

Huey: I wish for the world's biggest ice cream sundae. Uh, but not too big.
Genie: Ice cream sundae, come on down!
[Ice cream and whipped cream fall from the sky and land in the kiddie pool, but a giant cherry lands on Huey's head]
Genie: Better watch out for that wind sheer.

Webby: Genie, you're gonna love playing tea party.
Genie: I know. I read all about it. Can I be the guy who dresses like an Indian and throws the tea off the boat?
Webby: No silly, not a Boston Tea Party.

Genie: Wish them back, please!
Webby: I can't! That was my last wish!
Genie: I wish you hadn't said that!

Genie: You call these party animals? They're lifeless!

Genie: Music! Food! Guacamole! It's a party! Gotta boogie! Gotta Bingo! I gotta get out of this lamp!
Scrooge McDuck: Can you keep quiet at all?
Genie: If you let me out, I'll be as quiet as a mouse and just as small.
Scrooge McDuck: Oh, all right!
[lets the genie out]
Genie: Hey! Look at that! A couple of single guys out on the town!
Scrooge McDuck: Guess again.
[puts genie in a little plant]
Scrooge McDuck: You can watch the ball from here. Otherwise, you go back in the lamp.
Genie: But what if I win the door prize?

Genie: It's not my fault Merlock's after me. I don't just want to be Mr. Popularity. All I wanted was a life of my own... like your nephews. My own bike, stack of comic books, a sled, maybe some ski equipment, a CD player, my own home video entertainment system...
Scrooge McDuck: All right! All right!

Dijon: Good morning, Scrooge sir.
Scrooge McDuck: What's going on?
Dijon: At the urging of MY Genie, I have decided to seek my fortune.
Genie: I-I never thought he'd wish for your fortune, Mr. McDuck, I swear!
Scrooge McDuck: [looks at his lamp] But th-the lamp?... Gravy?
Dijon: [holds up the real lamp] That's right! I get the loot, you get the boot!

Genie: Shouldn't we be bird watching?
Dijon: Don't worry about Merlock. He would not dare to confront the great and powerful Dijon!... Anyway, I don't think he knows about me yet.

Merlock: You remember our magnificent old home?
Genie: Yeah, Casa De Coo-Coo.

Genie: I'm a boy! I'm a real boy! Now I can do all the things real boys do! Run through fields, play catch, roll over... wait, that's a dog.

Genie: How can I ever thank you, Master?
Scrooge McDuck: I'm not your master anymore!
Genie: That's right! Can I call you "Uncle Scrooge"?
Scrooge McDuck: You're a sweet kid, but don't press your luck.
Dewey: So, what do you want to do as your first day as a boy?
Genie: Well, let me put it this way... you'll never catch me, coppers!
Huey: Quackarooney!
Louie: Oh boy!
Dewey: I'm gonna get you!
Webby: Are you coming with us, Uncle Scrooge?
Scrooge McDuck: You go ahead, Webby dear. We quad-zillionaires have our own ideas of fun.

Genie: Oh no! It's Merlock! Hide me! Hide me!
Scrooge McDuck: I've got to get you to my vault. It's the only safe place. Time to go back.
Genie: But you saw what a dump it is.
Scrooge McDuck: Sorry, Genie, but the party's over.
Genie: [sighs] And just when we were getting to be buddies.

Genie: Hey, Pop! Give me a five! Get down! Get back! Get real! Get a haircut!

Genie: Wait, wait! Why give him the lamp?
Dijon: Because the master wants it so badly.
Genie: But don't you see, with the lamp you'll be the big chief? The hot falafel? The most powerful person on Earth? Oh, great master!
Dijon: Master? Master? Master Dijon? Oh, I like it! I really like it!

Scrooge McDuck: You maniac! Return the bin before I stuff that lamp down your throat!
Genie: Uh-uh! Bad move! Bad!
Merlock: You threaten me?
Genie: [runs to Merlock] Please, Merlock. He's had a lousy day. Maybe a hot bath and a warm glass of goats milk oughta do...
Merlock: [shouts] Silence! I wish you to cast him out of my house!
Genie: No! No! I can't!
Merlock: [shouts] Do it
[he points the lamp at Genie causing him to spin around]
Genie: [in pain] I have no choice!
Scrooge McDuck: I... I understand.

Mrs. Beakley: Children, I think your uncle has something to say to you.
Scrooge McDuck: Aye... Welcome home! Can I get you and Gene anything? Cookies? Milk? Ice cream?
Huey: Oh, no thank you, Uncle Scrooge.
Louie: Yeah, we're kind of full.
Webby: And sleepy.
Scrooge McDuck: That's because it's past your bedtime. Now, scoot along, little ones.
Huey, Dewey, Louie, Webby: Good night, Uncle Scrooge.
Genie: Nighty-night.
Scrooge McDuck: Sleep tight.
Duckworth: That's telling them, Sir.

Genie: [looks in a fridge] Whoo, cold food closet! Where do you hang the chickens?


Wishmaster (1997)
Alexandra Amberson: If there's no hope, no magic, I'll have to rely on myself.
Djinn: [as Wendy] Match wits with a creature older than time? Match wits with a prince of the dark dominions? Pit your tiny twentieth century mind against one who walked the spaces between the worlds, and trod the wings of angels beneath his conquering feet? Alexandra, you're a delight! Really, you are.

Beaumont: My God!
Djinn: Not yet, human. Soon... very soon I will be.

Djinn: Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have unlimited power, and only be able to use it when some worm asks you for something?
Merritt's Guard: No, I can't say that I do. I can't say that I give a shit, either.

Djinn: My patience wears thin.
Alexandra Amberson: What are you going to do, kill me? Where's your third wish then?
Djinn: I don't need you dead, Alexandra. I just need you to wish you were.

Djinn: Run, insect. Run and tell those you will, what you will. Tell them there is something loose in their city which feeds on wishes. But tell them quickly, while you still have a soul.

Alexandra Amberson: What happens if I wished you dead?
The Djinn: Why, how remarkably original of you, Alexandra. I'll tell you what. I'll give you one free wish. A sample. Just to get you in the spirit of the game.
Alexandra Amberson: All right. I want you to destroy yourself. Blow your brains out. Right now
The Djinn: Very well.
[He picks up a gun, presses it under his chin, and pulls the trigger, blowing off the top of his head]
The Djinn: [wound heals instantly, surprising Alexandra] That which is eternal cannot die. But if it's any consolation sweet Alex, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!

Alexandra Amberson: Where's Wendy?
The Djinn: Bedroom. But I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Messy. I needed her face.
Alexandra Amberson: You killed her.
The Djinn: Actually, I can't kill anyone. Not unless they wish me to. Your research should have told you that.
Alexandra Amberson: She didn't wish to be dead, you lying sack of shit!
The Djinn: I showed her my true face. Her reaction wasn't very flattering. As a matter of fact, she got downright hysterical! I merely asked if she wished to be released from her fear. You're a dangerous person to know, Alexandra. Your scientist friend, your boss, the policeman, Wendy. By the by-where is that tasty little sister of yours today?
[licks upper lip slowly]

The Djinn: Going my way?

Djinn: You wish to know what I am? To you, I am this: The cry of the abandoned child. The whimper of the whipped beast. I am the face that stares back at you from the shadows of your mirror. The hollowness at the heart of all your hopes, Alexandra. I AM DESPAIR.

Djinn: Listen to their screams, child, listen to the music of their agony.

The Djinn: So, how do you like me so far?

The Djinn: We have unfinished business.
Alexandra Amberson: It's gonna stay unfinished!

The Djinn: I claim that which is owed.

Alexandra Amberson: If you harm Shannon, I'll kill you.
Djinn: [showing Alexandra his Djinn form] Spare me child. Behold my true face
Alexandra Amberson: [scared] Oh my God.
Djinn: Yes. The shit just... hit the fan, didn't it?

Djinn: [referring to the curses the homeless man shouted] What would you do to have them come true?
Homeless Man: Cigarette and a handshake's about all I got, pal.
Djinn: Not quite. You have a soul.
Homeless Man: That I'd trade for a shower and a jug of jack.
Djinn: Then the death of your enemy you would consider a bargain?

Djinn: Where is Alexandra?
Nick Merritt: Uh, well I'm sorry, but I don't really feel comfortable telling you.
Djinn: What would make you comfortable, Nick? Name it.
Nick Merritt: What's my limit?
Djinn: Your imagination.

[after the end credits roll]
Djinn: Careful what you wish for.


The Return of Jafar (1994) (V)
Blue Genie: [running up to Jasmine with Abu to catch Sultan and Aladdin] Make room for the picnic boys!
Princess Jasmine: They already left, Genie.
Blue Genie: Without us?
Abu the Monkey: Without us?
Blue Genie: No problem, I'll catch up in a flash.
Princess Jasmine: Wait! Without me, too. Aladdin needs some time alone with Father to patch things up.
Blue Genie: [to Abu] You know what this means, monkey boy? More food for us!

Blue Genie: [about Jafar] Don't worry, Abu. He's a genie, and genies can't kill anyone.
[Jafar's hands turn into dragons and spray fire all over Genie and Abu]
Blue Genie: [wheezing] But you'd be surprised what you can live through.

[Genie saves Aladdin from being beheaded]
Aladdin 'Al': Thanks for saving me.
Blue Genie: Oh, come on, Al, you know I had to. Oh, that no head look is just not you. For my next trick: bibbidi-bobbidi-BOO! Ho-ho, and everybody's safe and sound.

Blue Genie: [Thinking he destroyed Jafar] Hahahaha! Who's laughing now?
Jafar: Hahahahaa!
[Reappears]
Jafar: Why, I believe it's me.
Abu the Monkey: Argh!

Blue Genie: Giddy up, slowpoke, what's keeping you?
Aladdin 'Al': Nothing. Well, something, but I'll tell you later.

Blue Genie: [talking about the hula skirt girl] Oooh, she dances!

[Genie and the Carpet are playing pool]
Blue Genie: Your shot.
[pause]
Blue Genie: Pool's a man's game; so being a rug, you'll be at a disadvantage.
[Carpet clears the table with break shot]
Blue Genie: Eh, pool's a dumb game anyway.

Blue Genie: [impersonating Jiminy Cricket from "Pinocchio"] Just let your conscience be your guide.
Iago: Conscience? Never had one! Never.

Blue Genie: [arriving from his trip around the world] He's big, he's blue! And he's BACK!
Aladdin 'Al': [as he and Jasmine hug the Genie] Genie!
Princess Jasmine: You came back!
Blue Genie: [turning red, yelling and wincing] Ooh! Ah! Oh, watch the sunburrrn!
[stops wincing, then turns blue again]
Blue Genie: Aha! Kidding. Did you miss me? Be honest.
[handing his luggage to Abu]
Blue Genie: Take care of these, my good mammal.
Abu the Monkey: [Abu takes the luggage but falls down from Aladdin's shoulder]
Blue Genie: Careful they're heavy. Hang on, I've got souveniers for everybody!

Blue Genie: [chanting] Without you, the Amazon is just a trickle. Without you, the Sahara's not so hot.

Aladdin 'Al': So Genie, how does it feel to be free?
Blue Genie: Seriously? I love it!

Aladdin 'Al': You saw the whole world already?
Blue Genie: [sings] It's A Small World after all.
[turns back to normal and speaks]
Blue Genie: But Agrahbah has something that no other place in the world has.
[Turns into a rocket and shouts]
Blue Genie: You guys!

Blue Genie: And Iago, talk about a rat with wings!
Aladdin 'Al': Genie?
Blue Genie: Whoo! That bird was mean!
[Turns his head into Iago]
Blue Genie: "Sultan want a cracker? Sultan want a cracker?"
[His head returns to normal]
Blue Genie: Remember that?
The Sultan of Agrabah: I can still taste them - the traitor!
Blue Genie: Yes, sir! You don't see this guy hanging out with any evil parrots.
Aladdin 'Al': Uh, it's funny, you should mention Iago.


"Once Upon a Time: Fruit of the Poisonous Tree (#1.11)" (2012)
Sidney Glass: I can grant your wish.

Sidney Glass: You wanna show this town who the mayor really is? I can help.
Emma Swan: It's gonna be kinda hard to do from inside her pocket.

Sidney Glass: Sometimes doing a bad thing for a good reason is OK, right?
Mary Margaret Blanchard: Yeah. I mean, maybe you're doing something wrong, but if it's what's meant to be, if it's what's right, does that really make you a bad person?

Sidney Glass: [referring to Regina] Well, if you can't beat her... drink.

Genie: You've awakened the genie of Agrabah. You're entitled to three wishes, no more, no less. But you must know that magic has its limits. You cannot wish for life nor death, you cannot wish for love, you cannot wish for more wishes. And once spoken, a wish cannot be undone, no matter what the consequences. So - tell me your first wish.

[King Leopold has given his last wish to the genie]
Genie: In my time, I have granted 1,001 wishes; and I have seen them end poorly 1,001 times. Making a wish comes with a price. And that is why I will *never* use this wish.

Evil Queen: No matter how hard I try to please the king... he will never love me the way he loved his first wife. I'm trapped by the memory of the life they used to share.
Genie: I know about being trapped, more than anyone. Maybe this will lift your spirits.
[he gives her a mirror]
Genie: So you... can see yourself... the way I see you.
Evil Queen: And how do you see me?
Genie: As the fairest in all the land.


Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999) (V)
[Looking around his personal Hell dimension]
Djinn: All right. I understand. You've had a tough day. I can see how this could get a little depressing in here, couldn't it? This place isn't exactly happy.

Gregory: You won't succeed.
Djinn: Who's going to stop me?
Gregory: God will stop you.
Djinn: God has nothing to do with this.
Gregory: God has everything to do with this. Be gone, Satan!
Djinn: I think you have your demons mixed up, Father.

Tillover: How does a week in the hole sound?
Djinn: A week, is that the best you got? I was once in a hole for 3000 years, this should be a breeze.

Gries: What do you want?
Djinn: Your soul.
[pause]
Djinn: And a pack of cigarettes.

Djinn: I claim that which is owed.

Djinn: Evil never dies.

Djinn: Welcome to my world, Morgana.
Morgana: Where's Gregory?
Djinn: Where's he's always wanted to be. Behold the man.
[points to crucified Gregory]
Djinn: What good is your faith now?


"Arabian Nights" (2000)
Aladdin: Who are you?
Genie of the Lamp: Who am I? Who am I? I am the Lamp Genie... THE Lamp Genie. Wishes, dreams, power, premature and violent death... ohhh, scratch the last one.

Aladdin: [making a wish] How about some sort of flying machine?
Genie of the Lamp: Flying machine? So we could fly around the world? And have drinks? And people could serve us peanuts? You'd better stick with the money.

Genie of the Ring: I, I, I! Always about you! What about me? 'Get me out of here', 'Take me home', 'Put me out - I'm on fire'. Haven't you ever heard the magic word 'please'?

Aladdin: Are you like the Genie of the Ring?
Genie of the Lamp: Like the Genie of the Ring?... I, who opposed the will of Heaven? NEVER!
Aladdin: So you're not related then?
Genie of the Lamp: No! Ohhh, I don't know... the tests were inconclusive...

Genie of the Ring: What color was my smoke? If it was blue, that means I am sanguine and melancholy; that means I need more 'me-time'.

Genie of the Lamp: [Making Aladdin's Palace] Ahhh, it is my best work since the Taj Mahal. Well, mortals- where are my compliments?


The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958)
Barani - the Genie: I cannot return to the real world until I am called by my name... Barani.

[repeated line]
Barani - the Genie: I shall try.

Sokurah the Magician: From the land beyond beyond. From the world past hope and fear. I bid you, genie, now appear.
Barani - the Genie: I obey the master of the lamp.
Sokurah the Magician: I command you to build me a barrier between those men and the Cyclops!
Barani - the Genie: I shall try, o master. I shall try.
[Turns into a fiery pinwheel that deposits a shimmering force field in front of the Cyclops]

[last lines]
Sinbad: Well done, Baronni. I know you will be as good a sailor as you were a genie.
Barani - the Genie: I shall try, captain. I shall try.

Barani - the Genie: The most comfortable prison is still a lonely place.

Princess Parisa: And you're as tiny as I am.
Barani - the Genie: How else could I live inside a lamp?
Princess Parisa: And such a lovely one.


"Charmed: Be Careful What You Witch For (#2.22)" (2000)
Genie: Look, uh, you're probably a little bit upset, huh?
Piper Halliwell: No, I've moved past upset and straight to pissed off.

Genie: Plus, that and they'll kill me.
Piper Halliwell: They're going to have to wait in line.

Dragon Warlock: And where the hell did you come from?
Genie: Oh, no, no. That's where *you* came from.

Phoebe Halliwell: Um, just out of curiosity, what would you wish for yourself? I mean, you must of heard them all, right? So what would be your wish?
Genie: That's easy. I wish for the little things, you know, things people take for granted. I mean, the feeling of a sun tan. Taste of ice cream, preferably chocolate. Sex - that looks like that could be a little bit of fun. To be human. Yeah, that's what I'd wish for.


"Charmed: I Dream of Phoebe (#6.15)" (2004)
Jinny: You think these crystals can hold me?
[sticks her hand out and is zapped]
Paige: Nope. Not for long, that's why we're putting you back in your bottle.
Jinny: When I form my empire, the first thing I'm gonna do is rid the world of witches.
Paige: Oh yea? Well when you're back in your bottle, the first thing I'm gonna do is put you in the microwave. Haha! How do you like that?
[turns and leaves]

Jinny: [about the demon Bosk] You cannot handle him. Nobody can. He has a flying carpet and an army of forty thieves.
Phoebe: Thirty-eight. I vanquished two.
Paige: Let me guess. He wanted a crew and a nice ride?

[Large diamond earrings appear on Paige's earlobes.]
Phoebe: [to Jinny] Did you do that?
Jinny: No, but they are lovely. Who conjured them for you?
Paige: My boyfriend, Richard. He's been showering me with gifts all week.
Phoebe: I thought you were gonna talk to him about binding his powers?
Paige: I have... but every time I bring it up, I just get another present. Luxury problem, I know ! But still.


Kingdom Hearts (2002) (VG)
Aladdin: Legend has it that whoever holds the lamp can summon the...
Genie: Please, kid, leave the intros to a professional. The one and only GENIE OF THE LAMP! Rub-a-dub-dub the lamp and have your dearest wishes granted. Today's winner is... Aladdin! Congratulations!

Genie: Any three wishes! A one wish, a two wish, a three wish. Then I make like a banana and split! Our lucky winner made his first wish... and let me tell you, what a doozy that wish was... so he has two left. So, master, what'll you have for Wish Number Two?
Aladdin: Hmm, how about making me a fabulously wealthy prince?
Genie: Oooh! Money! Royalty! Fame! Why didn't I think of that? Okay, you asked for it! A hundred servants and a hundred camels loaded with gold! Just say the word and I'll deliver it in 30 minutes or less, or your meal's free. Hey, I'll even throw in a cappuccino!

Genie: Ah, fresh air! The great outdoors!
Sora: I guess you don't get out much, huh?
Genie: Comes with the job. Phenomenal cosmic powers. Itty-bitty living space.


Pretty Cool Too (2007)
Walter Buckell: [while using the Genie to imitate Dave] Sorry, it's my brother's cell phone. It's malfunctioning.
[He turns to the Genie]
Walter Buckell: It's supposed to be generating soothing sounds and vibrations that make your erogenous zones tingle with sexual desire.
[She nods and gives him a thumbs up]
Brittany Wood: Ooooo...
[She moans as she starts to feel her body be sexually stimulated by the Genie's power]
Brittany Wood: Oh!... Oh my God... Ooooo Woooooow!
[She moans]
Brittany Wood: That's a pretty cool cell phone! Oh! Do you know where I can get one of those?
[She continues moaning]
Walter Buckell: [Awkward, as Brittany keeps on moaning in pleasure in front of him] It uh... hits the spot, huh? The uh... the G-spot?
Genie: Locating G-spot now.
Brittany Wood: [She feels her pleasure spike] Oh my God!
[She squeals and moans]
Genie: Activating G-spot.
Brittany Wood: [She writhes as she has a sudden orgasm] OH YES! WOOO YES! OH MY GOD! Oh!
[She calms down as her orgasm ends]
Brittany Wood: Hey you know what that idea of yours, sounds really good. You and me, right here, right now.
[She leans in to kiss him, and she grabs his groin. He backs away, and realises he's soft]
Brittany Wood: What's wrong?
Walter Buckell: Nothing...
Brittany Wood: Well, seems like you're the one who's not in the mood!
Walter Buckell: Just gimme a second, okay? I'll be right back.
[He walks off into the kitchen]
Brittany Wood: Hurry up.
[She smiles, and takes her bikini top off, leaving her topless]
Genie: What's wrong? Wasn't she sexually stimulated enough?
Walter Buckell: Oh yeah, she's ready.
Genie: So, then what's the problem?
Walter Buckell: I'm not! I mean... it's hard. I mean it's not hard.
Genie: I don't understand.
Walter Buckell: I was wondering... can I use this mind control power on myself?
Genie: Yes, but why would you want to?
Walter Buckell: Because... I wanna give myself a...
[He gestures to his groin, and she understands]
Walter Buckell: You know. I want it to last a long, long time. No one-minute wonder man, not with her.
Genie: My data states that the human brain is the most powerful sexual organ in a person's body. So it should work.
Walter Buckell: Then start humming.
[He relaxes, and lets the genie do her magic]

Genie: I wanna know about human emotion! Sexual stimulation! What an orgasm feels like!
Agatha Miller: Woah there big girl! You can't just explain things like that. You've just gotta feel them.
Genie: How about you feel them, and I take notes?
Agatha Miller: I can try.
[She concentrates, thinking about various boring aspects of human life]
Genie: I'm still a little vague on the orgasm part.
Agatha Miller: To tell you the truth, so am I.
Genie: Perhaps I can help!
Agatha Miller: Oh I don't think-
[the Genie smirks, and works her magic on Agatha, who begins to feel pleasure. She puts the Genie down, as her face turns from one of confusion to one of pleasure]
Agatha Miller: Oh... wow.
Genie: Just lie back and let me observe.
Agatha Miller: [Agatha's moaning increases now, as her pleasure begins to increase. She lets out a loud howl as it erupts into a full orgasm. She pulls her jacket off, and lays back in pleasure, as the Genie enjoys the sensations that Agatha is feeling. Agatha is in full sexual bliss now, her face of of ecstasy, and she writhes around on the bed, moaning loudly] Oh my God! Oh I need a cold shower!
[She lets out a series of pleasurable squeels, and rolls off the bed as her orgasm ends]

Dave Buckell: [He logs onto the Playpen live feed] Okay... Now, can you...
Genie: Yes, and I am already making the connections.
Dave Buckell: Alright. But how did you...
Genie: Know what you were thinking? And how do I know what you're thinking now? I am picking up your thought patterns through that earpiece.
Dave Buckell: You can read my mind?
Genie: No, I can interpret your thoughts.
Dave Buckell: Close enough.
[the live feed has loaded]
Dave Buckell: Oh baby. This is gonna be good. These Playpen girls have been teasing, taunting and frustrating the public for months now. It's time for them to get theirs.
Genie: As you wish.


"The Fairly OddParents: Genie Meanie Minie Mo/Back to the Norm (#4.12)" (2005)
Norm the Genie: Hold on there, Hunch Back of I've-Never-Spoken-To-A-Dame.

Norm the Genie: [regarding Mr. Crocker's appearance] That... thing on your neck. Is that your ear?

Norm the Genie: Seriously, have you ever *talked* to a girl?


"Aladdin: Much Abu About Something (#1.9)" (1994)
Genie: Kid's got a genie, and he takes advice from a rug.

Crowd: Liberation Day! Liberation Day!
Iago: What's Liberation Day?
Genie: It means school's out and no mail.

Iago: There's nothing edible here. This foraging stuff is for the...
Genie: [as a bird] Birds?
Iago: You are *so* droll.


A Kid in Aladdin's Palace (1997) (V)
Genie: I'll take a slice of that!
[grabs piece of pizza]
Genie: Mmm... Oily but good.
Genie: I was having a bit of a sugar dip.

Genie: [after the villian wishes the deliverer was dead] Let's say that's your last wish, but Genie won't grant it. Genie doesn't kill, Genie rules! Next time you get the lamp,read the manual.
[Goes back in lamp]


A-Lad-in His Lamp (1948)
Genie: Three cheers and a tiger for me!

Genie: I'm here, I'm here! Let the bells ring out and the banners fly! Feast your eyes on me! It's too good to be true, but I'm here! I'm here!


Pluto's Dream House (1940)
Mickey Mouse: [seeing an old lamp] Hey, what's this?
[rubs dirt off the lamp; laughs]
Mickey Mouse: It's an old teapot.
Magic Lamp: Who's an old teapot?
Mickey Mouse: [looking around] Who said that?
Magic Lamp: I did.
Mickey Mouse: Oh.
[suddenly surprised; drops the lamp on the ground]
Magic Lamp: [grunts] Take it easy.

Magic Lamp: Well, what do you want?
Mickey Mouse: Nothing, I was just...
Magic Lamp: Nothing? Well, if you don't want nothing, don't rub us magic lamps.
Mickey Mouse: A magic lamp?
Magic Lamp: Yes, sir, boss. Anything you says, I does.


Broom-Stick Bunny (1956)
Witch Hazel: Magic mirror on the wall. Who is the ugliest one of all?
Genie: By my troth, I will avow: there's none that's uglier than thou.
Witch Hazel: [to the audience] I'm so deathly afraid of getting prettier as I grow older. Pretty?
[cackles insanely]

Bugs Bunny: Evening, granny. Do you have any goodies for a Halloween witch?
Witch Hazel: [confused] Witch? I don't remember seeing her at any of the union meetings.
[complementing the costume]
Witch Hazel: But my, isn't she the ugliest little thing?
[laughs]
Witch Hazel: [suddenly worried] Ugly?
[to the genie]
Witch Hazel: Magic mirror on the wall. Who is the ugliest one of all?
Genie: Thou wert the ugliest one, 'tis true. But that creep is uglier far than you!


"Aladdin: Bad Mood Rising (#1.2)" (1994)
Genie: I can throw my voice. Catching it is another matter.

Genie: [suggestively after changing Iago into a woman] This is a good look for you, and it could be permanent.


"Drawn Together: Gay Bash (#1.3)" (2004)
Genie: [to Xander] Say, why don't you come into my lamp? And I do mean that as a double entendre!


"The Monkees: The Spy Who Came in from the Cool (#1.5)" (1966)
Genie: Do not fear master, your genie will help you.
Davy: Huh, imagine that: wrong show.


"I Dream of Jeannie: Happy Anniversary (#2.1)" (1966)
Blue Djinn: How does thou wish to die?
Major Anthony Nelson: Of old age.


"Aladdin: The Seven Faces of Genie (#1.41)" (1994)
Genie: [as his Anger personality throws Abis Mal from a great height] Point that beard at me again and I'll rip your spine out!
Aladdin: [Frightened] Genie's anger!
Iago: So long, I like my spine!
[flys away]


"Aladdin: The Flawed Couple (#1.23)" (1994)
Genie: [dressed as Mary Poppins] Well, I am practically perfect in every way.


"Aladdin: Destiny on Fire (#1.64)" (1994)
Genie: [causing Aladdin to laugh with him] Aw, poor Carpet; he still misses that beach-towel he met at low tide.


Kingdom Hearts II (2005) (VG)
[says it everytime you make Sora dismiss Genie from summoning]
Genie: Genie, over and out!


"Aladdin: Garden of Evil (#1.8)" (1994)
[Genie turns into a butterfly]
Genie: I feel so... pretty!


Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier (2013) (TV)
Ja'far: I was not charmed by the song you sang when you came out of the lamp and I am not charmed by your crazy bullshit now. You either need to back me the fuck up...
Ja'far: [threateningly] or shut the fuck up. Got it?
Djinn: You had me at hello.
[grins and looks around at the audience]


The Pee Wee Herman Show (1981) (TV)
Jambi the Genie: Hey, cooool! Caucasian!
[in response to seeing his new mail order hands]


"Faerie Tale Theatre: Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp (#5.1)" (1986)
Aladdin: Where do you come from?
Genie: Originally?
[Aladdin nods]
Genie: I was born from the thundering wind, that blew from the mouth of the Great White Bear, who came from the fiery yellow Sun, who is the eye of the all-powerful being whose name I am forbidden to speak! And you are?
Aladdin: Aladdin. I... was born from Mustafa the tailor. And that's my mother there, passed out from fright.
Genie: [laughs] Amusing!


Aladdin (1992/I) (V)
Ring Genie: Lord have mercy


"Aladdin: Mission: Imp Possible (#1.44)" (1994)
Genie: Here's my bill for saving your life. It's been nice working with you.


Ali Baba Bunny (1957)
Genie: Duck, you have desecrated the spirit of the lamp! Prepare to take the consequences!
Daffy Duck: Consequences, shmonsequences, as long as I'm rich.


"Aladdin: The Wind Jackals of Mozenrath (#1.42)" (1994)
[Aladdin finds the Genie and Iago in the clutches of the bad guys]
Genie: Don't worry about us, Al.
Iago: Who asked you? Worry, Al. Fret, even!


"The X-Files: Je Souhaite (#7.21)" (2000)
Jenn: The only thing you people are cursed with is stupidity. All of you. Everybody. Mankind. Everyone I have ever come into contact with without fail. Always asking for the wrong thing.
Mulder: You mean making the wrong wishes.
Jenn: Yeah, it's always: "Give me money. Give me big boobs." "Give me a big hoo-hoo." "Make me cool like the Fonz." Or whoever's the big name now.
Mulder: You been out of circulation a long time.
Jenn: So what? In 500 years, people have not changed a bit.
Dana Scully: 500 years.
Jenn: Granted, they smell better now generally speaking but human greed still reigns... shallowness... a propensity for self-destruction.
Dana Scully: You're saying that you have been a firsthand witness to 500 years of human history.
Jenn: I used to be human. I was born in 15th century France and then, one day, an old Moor came to my village peddling rugs and I unrolled one that an Ifrit had taken residence in.
Dana Scully: An "Ifrit."
Jenn: A very... powerful class of jinni. He offered me three wishes. For the first I asked for a stouthearted mule. For the second, a magic sack that was always full of turnips... Did I mention this was 15th century France?
Mulder: What was your third wish?
Jenn: My third... I pondered for a great while. I didn't want to waste it. So, finally, feeling very intelligent I spoke up and I said "Je souhaite un grand pouvoir et une longue vie." "I wish for great power and long life."
Mulder: And thus became a jinni yourself.
Jenn: Gave me the mark of the jinn... right there. It's forever. Sort of like a prison tattoo.


"Aladdin: The Vapor Chase (#1.7)" (1994)
[Jasmine, Genie, and Aladdin are about to blow something up]
Jasmine: It's showtime.
Genie: [appears with box of popcorn] It is? I love a good show! What are we gonna see?
Aladdin: Genie, she means light the fuse.


Carter's Wish (2003)
The Genie: Wishes are coming true at random... everybody's except yours!


"Once Upon a Time: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (#1.7)" (2011)
[first lines]
[Sheriff Graham is throwing darts at the image of a deer, hitting the target with the first two]
Sidney Glass: Nice shot, Chief. I bet you 20 bucks you can't do it again.
[Graham takes a sip from his drink and throws his third dart - full in the deer's face!]
Sheriff Graham: [to Ruby] Next round's on him.


"Aladdin: Some Enchanted Genie (#1.11)" (1994)
Genie: You free sometime next century, say eightish?


"Pee-wee's Playhouse: Rainy Day (#1.3)" (1986)
Pee-wee: [crying] I wish it would stop raining!
Jambi: Wish? Did somebody say "wish"?
Pee-wee: Jambi, please! I wish it would stop raining! I wish it would stop raining!
Jambi: You only get one wish!
[laughs]
Pee-wee: That was so funny I almost forgot to laugh!


"Aladdin: Scare Necessities (#1.19)" (1994)
Iago: Squirt?
["Squirt", who had previously been a cute little creature, now transformed into a great hulking beast, picks up a clay pot]
Iago: Easy, boy, easy! I was only kidding about all that scaring stuff. Honest! I'm your friend, remember! FRIEND!
Genie: [Iago screams as the creature advances on him... and reveals himself to be Genie in disguise] Gotcha!
Iago: I hate you.


"Once Upon a Time: Desperate Souls (#1.8)" (2012)
[Emma has criticized Regina's appointment of Sidney Glass as the new sheriff]
Regina Mills: The town charter clearly states, "The mayor shall appoint..."
Emma Swan: A candidate. You can appoint a candidate. It calls for an election.
Regina Mills: The term 'candidate' is applied loosely.
Emma Swan: No, it's not. It requires a vote. And guess what, Madam Mayor, I'm running.
Regina Mills: Fine. So is Sidney.
Sidney Glass: I am?
[Regina throws him a look]
Sidney Glass: I am.


"T-Bag Bounces Back: Nights in Arabia (#1.2)" (1987)
The Genie: That was your third and final wish.
Debbie: Oh no, what have I done?
T. Bag: You've done me a great favour, that's what.


"Aladdin: I Never Mechanism I Didn't Like (#1.16)" (1994)
Genie: [doing a crossword] Hey, what's a 7-letter word for a hit TV show starting with A?