Jacob Marley
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Quotes for
Jacob Marley (Character)
from A Christmas Carol (2009)

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Scrooge (1951)
Ebenezer: Who are you?
Jacob Marley: Ask me who I was.
Ebenezer: All right, all right, who WERE you then?
Jacob Marley: In life, I was your partner, Jacob Marley.
Ebenezer: Well, in that case, CAN you sit down?
Jacob Marley: I can.

Ebenezer: You see that toothpick?
Jacob Marley: I do.
Ebenezer: But you're not looking at it!
Jacob Marley: Yet I see it, notwithstanding.
Ebenezer: Well, then, I'll just swallow this and be tortured by a legion of hobgoblins, all of my own creation! It's all HUMBUG, I tell you, HUMBUG!

Ebenezer: But it was only that you were an honest man of business!
Jacob Marley: BUSINESS? Mankind was my business! Their common welfare was my business!

Ebenezer: What do you want with me?
Jacob Marley: Much.

Jacob Marley: It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow men! If it goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death! It is doomed to wander through the world! Oh, woe is me! And witness what it cannot share but MIGHT HAVE SHARED on Earth and turned to happiness!

Jacob Marley: I wear the chain I forged in life! I made it link by link and yard by yard! I gartered it on of my own free will and by my own free will, I wore it!

Jacob Marley: In life, my spirit never rose beyond the limits of our money-changing holes! Now I am doomed to wander without rest or peace, incessant torture and remorse!
Ebenezer: But it was only that you were a good man of business, Jacob!
Jacob Marley: BUSINESS? Mankind was my business! Their common welfare was my business! And it is at this time of the rolling year that I suffer most!

Jacob Marley: Look to see me no more. But look here, that you may remember for your own sake what has passed between us!
Ebenezer: Why do they lament?
Jacob Marley: They seek to interfere for good in human matters, and have lost their power forever.

Ebenezer: [as Marley lies on his death bed] Well, Jacob! Have they seen to you properly? Last rites and such?
[Marley nods]
Ebenezer: There's nothing i can do?
[Marley nods again]
Ebenezer: Oh? What, particularly?
Jacob Marley: [rasping] While... there's still time...
Ebenezer: Time? Time for what?
Jacob Marley: [rasping] Wrong... we were wrong.
Ebenezer: Wrong? Well, we can't be right all the time , can we? Nobody's perfect. You mustn't reproach yourself, Jacob. We've been no worse than the next man, or no better if it comes to that.
Jacob Marley: [rasping] Save... yourself.
Ebenezer: Save myself? Save myself from what?
[Marley breathes his last]
Ebenezer: Speak...!
[pauses as he realizes Marley is dead]

Ebenezer: You have my sympathy.
Jacob Marley: Ah! You do not know the weight and length of strong chain you bear yourself! It was as full and as long as this seven Christmas eves ago and you have labored on it since. Ah, it is a ponderous chain!

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!

Fozziwig: My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
Robert Marley: It was dumb!
Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
Robert Marley: It was pointless!
Jacob Marley: It was... short!
[turns to Robert]
Jacob Marley, Robert Marley: I loved it!

Jacob Marley: Why do you doubt your senses?
Ebenezer Scrooge: Because a little thing can effect them. A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blob of mustard, a crumb of cheese. Yes. There's more gravy than of grave about you.
Robert Marley: More gravy than of grave?
Jacob Marley: What a terrible pun. Where do you get those jokes?
Robert Marley: Leave comedy to the bears, Ebenezer.

Robert Marley: We were always heckling you.
Jacob Marley: It's good to be heckling again.
Robert Marley: It's good to be doing anything again.

Robert Marley: You will be haunted by three spirits.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Haunted? I've already had enough of that.
Jacob Marley: Without these visits, you cannot hope to avoid the path we tread.
Robert Marley: Expect the first ghost tonight, when the bell tolls one!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Can't I meet them all at once and get it over with?

Robert Marley: Look, it's Ebeneezer Scrooge!
Jacob Marley: Looking older and more wicked than ever.
Robert Marley: I knew he wouldn't disappoint us!

Scrooge (1970)
Jacob Marley's Ghost: [Scrooge has arrived in Hell] Ah! So there you are.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Marley! Where am I?
Jacob Marley's Ghost: I should have thought it was obvious. I heard you were coming down today, so I thought I'd come to greet you, show you to your quarters. Nobody else wanted to.
Ebenezer Scrooge: That's... that's very civil of you, Marley. I... I... I... I am dead, aren't I?
Jacob Marley's Ghost: As a coffin nail.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I... I had rather hoped I'd end up in Heaven.
Jacob Marley's Ghost: Did you, indeed? You may find your office here rather small, but not, I trust, unfamiliar.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Office?
Jacob Marley's Ghost: Your activities in life were so pleasing to Lucifer that he has appointed you to be his personal clerk. A singular honor. You will be to him, so to speak, what Bob Cratchit was to you.
Ebenezer Scrooge: That's not fair! It's... it's...
Jacob Marley's Ghost: Diabolical. I must confess, I find it not altogether unamusing.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Why do you walk the earth? Why'd you come to persecute me? And what is that great chain you wear?
Jacob Marley's Ghost: I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it, link by link and yard by yard, while on Earth, and now I will never be rid of it, any more than you will ever be rid of yours!
Ebenezer Scrooge: [shocked] Mine?
Jacob Marley's Ghost: It was as heavy and long as this seven Christmases ago. It's a terrible, ponderous chain you are making, Scrooge!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Tell me more, Marley, but speak comforts to me!
Jacob Marley's Ghost: I have none to give.
Ebenezer Scrooge: None?
Jacob Marley's Ghost: Comfort comes from other sources, Ebenezer Scrooge, and is given by other ministers than I to other kinds of men than you. When I lived, my spirit, like yours, never walked beyond the narrow limits of our counting house.
Ebenezer Scrooge: But you were always a good man of business, Jacob.
Jacob Marley's Ghost: Mankind should be our business, Ebenezer, but we seldom attend to it... as you shall see.

Jacob Marley's Ghost: [to Scrooge] See the phantoms filling the sky around you. They astound you, I can tell, these inhabitants of hell. Poor wretches whom the Hand of Heaven ignores. Beware, beware, beware, lest their dreadful fate be yours!

Jacob Marley's Ghost: You will be visited by three ghosts.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I... I think I'd rather not.

Ebbie (1995) (TV)
[Jake's ghost is haunting Ebbie]
Jake Marley: Surprised to see me? I'm surprised to be here.

Ebbie: Who are you talking to?
Jake Marley: My boss. You thought I was tough?
Jake Marley: [talking to God on his cellphone] Yes I'm handling it.
Ebbie: Handling what?
Jake Marley: Change the agenda Ebbie. Reverse the priorities. I taught you everything.
Ebbie: Yes Jake, you did.
Jake Marley: And you know squat! You know the price of everything and the value of nothing. What you sow you reap! Do you remember Eb'? You and me? We used to be such go-getters. Always hungry. Never off the job. Do you remember what we used to say? We said, "There'll be plenty of time to rest when we're dead." Well, there's NOT!

Jake Marley: [Jake and Ebbie have just taken over Dobson's] I'm sorry, F.C.
Mr. Dobson: No, you're not. You two must have been maneuvering behind our backs for months... years. Why not? You've tripled the store's profit, you and Ms. Scrooge. Elizabeth... you always knew how to read the numbers.
Ebbie: Thank you, F.C., but I promise you it was nothing personal, it's just business.
Mrs. Dobson: It wasn't just business for us, Ebbie. Dobson's was our family... we built it up from almost nothing and we've taken great pride in what we've accomplished. I will miss not coming in here every morning, but you mustn't worry for us... because this store is not all that we've accomplished in our lives. We have a wonderful family, caring friends, things we love to do... each other.
[to her husband]
Mrs. Dobson: Let's go home.
[They start to leave, then Mrs. Dobson turns back to Ebbie]
Mrs. Dobson: Oh, Ebbie... what happened to that sweet young girl I used to know?
Jake Marley: Dog eat dog world, Mrs. Dobson. Not her fault.

Jake Marley: [Jake is dying of a heart attack] Ebbie... the Dobsons could have taught us a thing or two.
[He dies]

Scrooged (1988)
Lew Hayward: I was a captain of industry; feared by men, adored by women.
Frank Cross: Adored! Come on, let's be honest, Lew. You *paid* for the women!

Lew Hayward: I don't mind you shooting at me, Frank, but take it easy on the Bacardi!

Lew Hayward: I was a captain of industry. Feared by men, adored by women.
Frank Cross: Adored... Let's be honest Lou, you paid for the women.

A Diva's Christmas Carol (2000) (TV)
Ebony Scrooge: Is this about the royalties because I thought we already settled that. If I write 65% of the songs, I get 65% of the...
Marli Jacob: [shows her chains] I think I'm way past worried about money now.
Ebony Scrooge: Well, then you must be dead because no one's ever past worrying about money. And what's with the getup? I thought you quit the chains when you broke up with that guy from Paramus.
Marli Jacob: These chains are to represent my mistakes, how I messed up my life.
Ebony Scrooge: I'll say you did. What a waste. And we were getting so big.
Marli Jacob: But how did we use our success? What did we do to help our own? In the true business of life, we were flops.
Ebony Scrooge: That doesn't make sense.
Marli Jacob: I have tried, Lord knows I have tried, to reach you from... wherever it is I am, and tonight I finally did. So I am telling you, you have got to start...
Ebony Scrooge: What gives you the right to tell me what to do?
Marli Jacob: What gives me the right?
[Room brightens up as she sits down]
Marli Jacob: We were best friends. You tell me what happened to that.
Ebony Scrooge: You screwed up, that's what happened.
Marli Jacob: You pushed us out of the spotlight!
Ebony Scrooge: Now it's all my fault?
Marli Jacob: Excuse me, I'm talking! The first minute we're a trio, the next, Terri and I are your backup singers! And that hurts!

Marli Jacob: Well, where were you Christmas Eve 1990?
Ebony Scrooge: Where was I? I was just getting the news that you got yourself messed up and got your Porsche wrapped around a tree.
Marli Jacob: Yeah, and I took two innocent lives with me. And what did you do?
Ebony Scrooge: I cried all night long. I never really got over it.
Marli Jacob: The very night I died, you abandoned Terry and started planning your own solo act.
Ebony Scrooge: That's not true.
Marli Jacob: And I had to watch it. My hell is watching you mess up your life.
[She hangs her head in shame, but then looks up after a moment]
Marli Jacob: Remember that showcase that Bob put together for us at Tramps? that night was make-or-break. We do a good show, we get signed. If we choke, we're history, remember?
Ebony Scrooge: Yeah, we kicked butt.
Marli Jacob: Well, tonight is just like that. You're going to be visited by three spirits. At 1:00, 2:00...
Ebony Scrooge: Oooh, tonight's no good.
Marli Jacob: Well, tough!
Ebony Scrooge: I have to get some sleep. I have "A.M. America" to do in the morning.
Marli Jacob: They're spirits. They don't care about no talk shows.
Ebony Scrooge: Nobody cares about talk shows. But if you look at my calender
[Marli disappears]
Ebony Scrooge: Well, this Pharmalayin is some powerful sh...
[she falls out in a dead sleep]

Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983)
Marley: Ebenezer? Remember when I was alive I robbed from widows and swindled the poor?
Scrooge: Yes, and all in the same day. Oh, you had class, Jacob.
Marley: Ha-yuk, yup!... Er, no, no! I was wrong. And so, as punishment, I'm forced to carry these heavy chains for eternity! Maybe even longer.

Marley: Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits.
[holds up two fingers]
Marley: Listen to 'em. Do what they say, or your chains will be heavier than mine. Farewell, Ebenezer.
[almost slips on the floor, but avoids so and glides away]
Marley: Fareweeeellll...
Scrooge: Marley! Watch out for that first...
[Marley goes crashing down the stairs]
Scrooge: ...step.

A Christmas Carol (1984) (TV)
Ebenezer Scrooge: [after Marley enters] What do you want with me?
Jacob Marley: Much.

Jacob Marley: [to Scrooge] I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it link by link and yard by yard. Is its pattern strange to you or would you know the length of the strong coils you bear yourself? It was as full, as heavy, as long as this seven Christmas Eves ago, you have labored on it since, it is a ponderous chain!

A Christmas Carol (2004) (TV)
Jacob Marley: When the clock strikes one... the Ghost of Christmas Past
Ebenezer Scrooge: I prefer not to think about the past
Jacob Marley: When the clock strikes two... the Ghost of Christmas Present
Ebenezer Scrooge: At the present I'd like to go to bed
Jacob Marley: When the clock strikes three... the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Be! Three ghosts who yet may stop you ending up like me...

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Devil's Due (#4.13)" (1991)
[Data is playing Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol", facing the ghost of Jacob Marley]
Jacob Marley: Why do you doubt your senses?
Lt. Commander Data: [as Scrooge] Because... a little thing affects them. A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheats. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a... blot of mustard, a... crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. Why, there's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are. Humbug, I tell you. Humbug.

"Dickensian: Episode #1.1" (2015)
[the late Mr Havisham's funeral cortège passes by]
Mrs. Gamp: Morning, Mr Marley!
Jacob Marley: Good day, Mrs Gamp.
Mrs. Gamp: Not for him, it ain't!
[she giggles]

A Christmas Carol (1999) (TV)
Marley's Ghost: [before he flies out Scrooge's window to be with the other ghosts] These spirits tried to interfere for good in human affairs, but they lost the power forever. That is the curse we bear.

A Christmas Carol (2009)
[from trailer]
Ebenezer Scrooge: What do you want with me?
Jacob Marley: You will be haunted by three spirits.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I'd rather not.

A Christmas Carol (1938)
Ebenezer Scrooge: [to Marley's ghost] We'll soon see how real you are.
[Calling out the window]
Ebenezer Scrooge: Watch! There's an intruder in my room!
Leader of watch: Right up, sir - law and order!
Jacob Marley's ghost: It was for your welfare that I made this visit, Ebenezer Scrooge.
[He disappears]
Leader of watch: [unable to find him] Your intruder seems to have extruded, if I may say so, sir.
Ebenezer Scrooge: He was here! He was a spirit!
Leader of watch: [laughing] Of course, sir! A fine night for spirits - of one form or another, sir!

Ms. Scrooge (1997) (TV)
Maude Marley: [Appearing in a flash of Light] Ta Da! I always did like a big entrance, didn't I?
[light fades]
Maude Marley: How's tricks, Ebenita?
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: Maude?
Maude Marley: You haven't said a word about my outfit.
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: [laughing to herself] Oh, it can't be Maude. She's dead. I buried her.
Maude Marley: And rather hastily, I might add. Afraid I might come back to life? Reclaim my possessions?
[Ebenita slowly reaches for the phone]
Maude Marley: Now I can't.
[as Ebenita's hand gets to the phone]
Maude Marley: NO!
[voice becoming distorted]
Maude Marley: That line is dead, darling. Save us both time, Ebenita. I'm dead, I'm here, and I'm talking to you.
[Coming up to her, talking in normal voice]
Maude Marley: Now I'll cut to the chase, I actually need your help. To rest in peace. That's all anybody ever talks about in the afterlife. How they do things differently. The grass is forever greener, but when I was alive, I lived by one question only: What's in it for me? I'll admit I was a little self centered then, cared not a whit for the little people. That's why every year on the anniversary of my death, I have to roam the world and see the happiness I can never share unless...
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: Yes?
Maude Marley: Unless you listen to me and turn your little life around.
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: What's so little about my life? Business has never been better. I own three buildings, and a house with ten rooms...
Maude Marley: [Yells, and then talks in the distorted voice] And how many rooms in your heart and how long will your chain of grief be when you join our miserable band?
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: I don't have to do anything.
Maude Marley: [in normal voice] No, you don't. Not if you change. My fellow ghosts will show you how.
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: More ghosts?
Maude Marley: Yes, but tightly organized on the other side. Actually, you'd probably love it for a while. Tight schedules, time clocks, the works. However, the only problem is it never ends.
[circles her chair]
Maude Marley: It goes around, and around and around!
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: [Screams] Get away!
Maude Marley: Anyway, expect your first visitor when the clock strikes midnight. your second visitor at one and your third at the stroke of two. Regular as clockwork.
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: What is the point of all of this?
Maude Marley: Change, Ebenita, for your sake as well as mine.
[fading into her light state]
Maude Marley: Either get me out of this or join the crowd FOREVER!
[disappearing in a flash of light]
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: [looking around for a bit, then getting up out of her chair and gathering her shawl] Ghosts, you can have this place.
[running out of the room]
Ms. Ebenita Scrooge: I'm going to be someplace else!

"The Jetsons: A Jetson Christmas Carol (#2.41)" (1985)
Marsley: I'm here to tell you to change your ways or there will be a price to pay.
Mr. Spacely: So how much would it be? I'll pay it.